Categories > Original > Poetry
This Is To Who I Have Screwed Things Up With. She Called Me Her Dove. I Called Her My Keeper.
0 reviewsThis is to some one very dear to me. I screwed things up and I want to make it right. Spread this out so maybe it can reach her.
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She called me her dove
I called her my keeper
She made me strong
But she also made me weaker
She comforted when needed
She also gave me advice repeated
She wasn't afraid to tell me what others were
She was always the one who kept me down to Earth
She is right
As always
I am very wrong in my ways
I have changed
I have changed
Changed so greatly yet so subtly
That only she could catch the new melody
Even when she was not near
She can still hear my facades loud and clear
My strength and my weakness all in one
Yet I wouldn't have picked any other one
I am happy you have returned
I am so happy
Plus I have always had your side
Yes I take pride
Take pride for how I have stood up for you
Stood up for you through and through.
I need to get this off my chest. I will just go insane if I don't. I have missed you, so so so much. There was not one day that you didn't go through my mind. Not one. Trust me I have tried to think back too. I have even kept a box for you. I put notes in there, songs that would remind me of you. I even bought a necklace for you subconsciously. I am not sure wether that is a good thing or bad thing. Either way, I am so sorry for how I reacted. I was so cold. I didn't mean for it to come out that way.....though maybe I did. It was a way to make me not being able to talk to you easier. I want to talk to you. So so badly. I cried and dreamt about you on numerous occasions. I am even prepared to let you completely go if that's what will make you happy. It may hurt me tremendously but I would do anything for you. You may think that at the moment, I mean every word. You know I vowed to protect you. Just to protect the light behind your eyes....
Yes I'm quoting the song. You know I haven't listen to those 2 songs in months. I was scared that I was unworthy to listen to them. Now thinking back, it was just my anxiety acting up, very badly. For months, I was thinking that I should just let you be. That I should just leave you alone because it would be for the best, but.....I just can't do that. I don't want to leave you. I want to stay with you through your bad times, and your good times. Hey, I payed for this roller coaster ride and damn straight I am going to ride til the end. I may not have shown to most people that I still cared for you...I am hoping that this does though because baby, the world may be ugly but you will ALWAYS be motherfucking beautiful to me. You could have a huge boil on your face that talks to you -sorry was watching adult swim sue me- YOU WOULD STILL BE BEAUTIFUL. YOU COULD EVEN LOOK LIKE AMANDA! My feeling would not change -and you know how much I hate that bitch- I stayed up late at night hoping and wishing that you would come back. Wishing for your return. Hoping you would get better. I would even look down your street every time we passed it just so I could see if you were there or not. -please don't get creeped out by that even though that does sound stalkery- (yes I know that's not even a word). All I am trying to say is that yes I still care about you, and I have been supporting you. I never stopped. I am sorry if I didn't show it but I did.
You know tonight was the first time I think you ever truly pissed me off. DON'T THINK OF IT AS A BAD THING THOUGH BECAUSE IT NOT, okay? Please don't think of it as a bad thing. Now when you said you only had one person now who supported you and who cared about.....I chucked my iPod down the couch. It hit the ground so hard I am surprise the screen didn't freaking crack, but it woke me up. Out of my stupor that my crazy, over-dramatic, thoughts that scared me into talking about you, or talking to you in this case. Look. I honestly don't expect you to forgive me right away. I don't, because I did a lot of fucked up things, but know this. I am with you 100%, as soon as my mom talks to yours and your still willing to talk to be expect whatever electronical device that your using to combust because I am going to send so much stuff to it's going to be like PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY SOOOOOUL!! I am going to be like your second skin. Always there for back up if you need it. Now with the changes. Some of the changes are good, and some of them are bad. I'm working on the bad ones though. Trust me Lilly has already been on my ass about them, but I am still that girl with the stupid fluffy hair :). I am still that girl who you drew on with ice, I am still that girl who hates the human centipede -that movie.......shudderneed I say more?-,and I still get freaked out by a picture of GAMZEE I MEAN COME ON HE IS ONE SCARY MOTHERFUCKER! I am still Mariah. I am. Just with a few adjustments.
Look I want you back in my life more than anything. I never wanted you out if it in the first place. I am just asking that you let me back in, because I still care about you. I still support you and will continue to do so -if I don't you can torture me with hours of human centipede and creepy pictures of GAMZEE- I promise you that every single thing in here is over 9000% true. I wouldn't lie to you. Not now. If after this you still just want to leave how we left it that's fine I respect -took me twelve times to get that -.- you would think after having a song about it, it would be stuck in my brain but NOOOOOOO still suck at spelling! Any back that the passage- that. I just could let things be like that without me explaining. Yes I have to admit though the poem at the beginning was cheesy but hey I am a cheesy kind of gal SUE ME! -though you might not get much because at the moment I am flat broken- Well there it is my long drawn out explanation. It is kind of all over the place but I'm no fucking author that's your job sweet cheeks! -does cheesy hand gun thing- I hope that this explains all of the stuff that I wanted it to. I would live to talk to you again as soon as I am aloud. I have to do the passage secretly because my mother swore that if she caught talking to you WITHOUT her permission that I would be in serious trouble but what can I say........ Doves tend to take risks sometimes ;)
Now this is it. This is everything. All out there in the open. It's up to you what you make of it my dear.
It entirely your choice.
I called her my keeper
She made me strong
But she also made me weaker
She comforted when needed
She also gave me advice repeated
She wasn't afraid to tell me what others were
She was always the one who kept me down to Earth
She is right
As always
I am very wrong in my ways
I have changed
I have changed
Changed so greatly yet so subtly
That only she could catch the new melody
Even when she was not near
She can still hear my facades loud and clear
My strength and my weakness all in one
Yet I wouldn't have picked any other one
I am happy you have returned
I am so happy
Plus I have always had your side
Yes I take pride
Take pride for how I have stood up for you
Stood up for you through and through.
I need to get this off my chest. I will just go insane if I don't. I have missed you, so so so much. There was not one day that you didn't go through my mind. Not one. Trust me I have tried to think back too. I have even kept a box for you. I put notes in there, songs that would remind me of you. I even bought a necklace for you subconsciously. I am not sure wether that is a good thing or bad thing. Either way, I am so sorry for how I reacted. I was so cold. I didn't mean for it to come out that way.....though maybe I did. It was a way to make me not being able to talk to you easier. I want to talk to you. So so badly. I cried and dreamt about you on numerous occasions. I am even prepared to let you completely go if that's what will make you happy. It may hurt me tremendously but I would do anything for you. You may think that at the moment, I mean every word. You know I vowed to protect you. Just to protect the light behind your eyes....
Yes I'm quoting the song. You know I haven't listen to those 2 songs in months. I was scared that I was unworthy to listen to them. Now thinking back, it was just my anxiety acting up, very badly. For months, I was thinking that I should just let you be. That I should just leave you alone because it would be for the best, but.....I just can't do that. I don't want to leave you. I want to stay with you through your bad times, and your good times. Hey, I payed for this roller coaster ride and damn straight I am going to ride til the end. I may not have shown to most people that I still cared for you...I am hoping that this does though because baby, the world may be ugly but you will ALWAYS be motherfucking beautiful to me. You could have a huge boil on your face that talks to you -sorry was watching adult swim sue me- YOU WOULD STILL BE BEAUTIFUL. YOU COULD EVEN LOOK LIKE AMANDA! My feeling would not change -and you know how much I hate that bitch- I stayed up late at night hoping and wishing that you would come back. Wishing for your return. Hoping you would get better. I would even look down your street every time we passed it just so I could see if you were there or not. -please don't get creeped out by that even though that does sound stalkery- (yes I know that's not even a word). All I am trying to say is that yes I still care about you, and I have been supporting you. I never stopped. I am sorry if I didn't show it but I did.
You know tonight was the first time I think you ever truly pissed me off. DON'T THINK OF IT AS A BAD THING THOUGH BECAUSE IT NOT, okay? Please don't think of it as a bad thing. Now when you said you only had one person now who supported you and who cared about.....I chucked my iPod down the couch. It hit the ground so hard I am surprise the screen didn't freaking crack, but it woke me up. Out of my stupor that my crazy, over-dramatic, thoughts that scared me into talking about you, or talking to you in this case. Look. I honestly don't expect you to forgive me right away. I don't, because I did a lot of fucked up things, but know this. I am with you 100%, as soon as my mom talks to yours and your still willing to talk to be expect whatever electronical device that your using to combust because I am going to send so much stuff to it's going to be like PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY SOOOOOUL!! I am going to be like your second skin. Always there for back up if you need it. Now with the changes. Some of the changes are good, and some of them are bad. I'm working on the bad ones though. Trust me Lilly has already been on my ass about them, but I am still that girl with the stupid fluffy hair :). I am still that girl who you drew on with ice, I am still that girl who hates the human centipede -that movie.......shudderneed I say more?-,and I still get freaked out by a picture of GAMZEE I MEAN COME ON HE IS ONE SCARY MOTHERFUCKER! I am still Mariah. I am. Just with a few adjustments.
Look I want you back in my life more than anything. I never wanted you out if it in the first place. I am just asking that you let me back in, because I still care about you. I still support you and will continue to do so -if I don't you can torture me with hours of human centipede and creepy pictures of GAMZEE- I promise you that every single thing in here is over 9000% true. I wouldn't lie to you. Not now. If after this you still just want to leave how we left it that's fine I respect -took me twelve times to get that -.- you would think after having a song about it, it would be stuck in my brain but NOOOOOOO still suck at spelling! Any back that the passage- that. I just could let things be like that without me explaining. Yes I have to admit though the poem at the beginning was cheesy but hey I am a cheesy kind of gal SUE ME! -though you might not get much because at the moment I am flat broken- Well there it is my long drawn out explanation. It is kind of all over the place but I'm no fucking author that's your job sweet cheeks! -does cheesy hand gun thing- I hope that this explains all of the stuff that I wanted it to. I would live to talk to you again as soon as I am aloud. I have to do the passage secretly because my mother swore that if she caught talking to you WITHOUT her permission that I would be in serious trouble but what can I say........ Doves tend to take risks sometimes ;)
Now this is it. This is everything. All out there in the open. It's up to you what you make of it my dear.
It entirely your choice.
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