FicWad

I'm well aware that the chapter is quite a bit shorter than what we're used to, but I didn't want to jump from one mood to another, so therefore I cut the chapter in half. Hope you like it. Oh, and - thank you XbambibabezX, you are the loveliest reader I could ever hope for! I'm dedicating all these chapters to you,hehe




How anything in this world was capable of beating me at speed in my current state was beyond me. How the pathetic distance between my hand and the arm I was about to grab never ceased to exist, I did not understand.
But as I sat there, my hand still extended towards still air, there was no denying it.

The strange kind of thick silence hung in the air as I sat, dumbstruck and unmoving, staring blankly at the wall ahead, slowly recovering from the bloodlust.

I had been able to hold on to humanity for long enough, I slowly realized, though for the life of me couldn't get my head around what followed. Long enough for what? For Gerard to get in the way? There was no way he'd been fast enough. It was impossible.

Ever so slowly, I turned my shocked face to the far end of the room and saw the two men,lying on the concrete floor. Frank's breathing was rapid and shallow, it being pretty much the only thing audible in the grave silence of the room, and that faraway look in his eyes spoke of shock much more severe than mine.
Gerard lay panting silently, still half on top of Frank and I though I couldn't see his face, I had a feeling his expression would match Frank's.

The minutes passed on as we stayed put in our positions, the men lying on the floor with their limbs tangled up, and I still sitting on the half-trashed chair, my nearly numb hand still hanging there as if I was reaching out for something no one else could see.
Moving seemed like too much at the moment.

I came to the knowledge that we all needed this moment to gather our thoughts, and the wordless agreement to stay still was a part of it that we all stuck to.
Any movement, any sound would brake this moment, this state that seemed utterly timeless and senseless, and we all seemed to realize that when it eventually would burst, one of us would have to say something.
And the loss of words to speak was too great to overcome right away.

After a time that could've been anything between a minute and an hour, the chair I sat on finally gave in with a cracking sound, and my strangely relaxed and simultaneously rigid body fell onto the floor and the wooden remains of the has-been- chair.

I wasn't present enough to react, to even yelp, but the loud clatter had been enough to end our time-out. I pulled up to a sitting position and pulled my feet closer, hugging my knees and trying to get myself physically together as if it would help to collect the fragments of my brain, as well. I felt very small and vulnerable as I sat shaking on the cold surface, not daring to look at either one of the men.
I heard some shuffling sounds from where they were located.

I was fairly sure it was just my imagination, but it felt as if each time after momentarilly regaining my extraordinary senses and then losing them again, they actually deteriorated my human senses. I was vaguely aware of huffed words being exchanged but whether I was right about these incidents affecting my human senses in a negative way or I was just too wrapped up in my jammed thoughts, what I heard was merely inaccurate murmur rather than actual words.

I had no idea what was going to happen next. What could possibly happen next? In all honesty, I think after this, there was nothing left there to happen. The worst that could had very nearly already taken place and I couldn't come up with anything left to say or do.

My thoughts were racing, but at the same time my mind was completely empty.
It was like a record gotten stuck, thoughts were playing over and over but it didn't erase the fact that something was truly jammed.

Suddenly, I found my voice, and out of all the possible emotions I was going through, anger decided to be the first one to step up.

"You idiot!"

My venomous tone was definitely aimed at Gerard and though I knew I severely failed at subtlety, I didn't care one last bit. His little fucking stunt almost got both of them killed and even though it had become quite clear to me in the past few days that the man had a freaking deathwish, he should know better than to involve Frank.

The way I saw it, Gerard was responsible for this madness. Self-blame and guilt were in the far back of my list at the moment, and my head snapped left to glare at the man that basically forced me to attempt slaughter on the man I considered an angel.
And then Gerard had apparently rushed between us, at an inhuman speed, pushing Frank away and disconnecting whatever it is in our touch that causes this to happen.
So there, Gerard almost caused me to kill the man I loved and still got to play the part of the hero, saving his friend's life in the last possible second.

"I hate you" I spat standing up with trembling limbs

"I hate you for what you made me do and I hate you for looking at me like I intentionally tried to kill you both but failed due to your brilliantly short reaction time! I hate that you just scrambled up from the floor like a terrified, shieldless lamb and the way that you try to inconspicuously retreat towards the wall as if it could protect you from this big bad wolf right here!" I screamed.

Gerard had indeed gotten up and was slowly moving backwards. Frank was still sprawled on the floor and received slight nudges from Gerard, urging him to crawl as far away from me as he was able. I took all this in from the corner of my eye, and I never broke eye contact with Gerard. I was shooting death glares at him, and he took them all with fearful eyes.

"Don't just stand there looking frightened!" I barked

"Don't you for one second delude yourself into thinking this somehow isn't all your fault!"

I fumed and after understanding that there were no words to truly express what I felt right now, I kicked the pieces of the chair that were scattered around my feet and let out a frustration infused roar before stomping my way up the stairs and into the home above. I was greeted by a light yellow hall that I crossed in no time, heading for what I took as the front door. The handle felt cold against my skin as I pushed the door open.

The view before me caused me to pause. I really had no idea of my location. This was hardly a suburban area with the masses of ancient trees rising up on both sides of the driveway. I could take ten steps, and be lost.

I wanted to sprint toward the woods and run until my legs would give out but had enough sense left in my rage filled mind to go for the road ahead. I didn't know where I was or where I was going, but I had to get out of the house.
I had to get out of this madness.
Where I would end up didn't exactly matter as long as it was far away from these men, the one that I currently despised with all my heart and the one that I couldn't bare looking at for the hurt I'd inflicted on him despite the love I felt for his soul.

Enough is enough, I thought with determination. Right now our lives lacked all rationality and fucking sense of reality and the shit has got to stop.

I repeated the lines in my head with every heavy step I took, the gravel crunching and crackling under my feet. My steps suddenly escalated to a feverish run as I no longer seemed to have any control of my legs. I just wanted to get away and my body acted on an impulse, converting every single emotion of anger, shock and hysteria that I felt into strenght that went directly to my feet.

Quite soon I had consumed every last thing I had in me and came to a halt. My legs wobbled and gave in and I found myself kneeling on the vacant road, at loss of things to do or feel. A few tears found their way onto my cheeks but I didn't care enough to wipe them away.
Weak sobs made their way to the surface, but weren't nearly enough to begin the loud, desperate fit of crying that I felt was due.

I let my body fall onto the ground and stared at nothing in particular. I was sick and tired of all that had been going on, and what happened in that basement today, was more than enough to cross the t's.

I knew it was no use, but for a moment I let myself slip into a state of self-pity, wallowing in the sadness of my life. What if I was just another normal human being? Could I have Frank, or would he be always out of my league even if it wasn't for me being a ravenous fucking carnivore around him?

Despair filled my soul as I realized that even if Frank did feel something for me, I bet the fact that I'd tried to kill him twice was a fast way to end those feelings. Or at the very least it would make him see what I already saw - the impossibility of any kind of future with someone you had to watch out for at all times. Someone you could never let your guard down with. It hurt and ached to think about Frank and I tried to redirect my thoughts elsewhere.

Finally, I'd managed to empty my mind altogether, and it felt better than anything had all day - just lying there on the hard, gravel ground, my head an utter void of thoughts.
A few stray raindrops landed on my face and the cold breeze was starting escalate, but I had no intentions on getting up anytime soon. I felt numb, and the weather wasn't an issue for me right now.

I felt nothing.



After some time I heard someone walking up to me and a warm quilt was wrapped around me by a strong pair of arms that while warming me up, pulled me up to a sitting position. I leaned on the person behind me and understood the purpose of the quilt.
It was Frank, softly humming a slow melody into my ear with the fabric between us, preventing our skins from touching.

"It's okay" He murmured.

"It really isn't" I croaked, my voice far more broken than I'd imagined. "It hurts too much"

"Why?" He asked. I didn't really understand the question. Maybe he thought I meant that the temporary conversion hurt me physically, and inquired the reason to that. I wasn't talking about physical pain, though, and whether he understood it or not, I answered his question accordingly.

"Imagine a desire to inflict pain and drain a person, any person. Imagine being unable to stop it. Then imagine it with the person being someone.. so.." I couldn't find the words "..well someone like you are to me."

It was a lame way to put it, but even with his body this close to mine, almost in an embrace of a kind, I couldn't speak the words that I knew were the right ones to define what Frank was to me. I couldn't say it, and he wouldn't want to hear it.

He nodded, pulling me closer.
The ground was uncomfortable, but I couldn't care less.
Frank's hot breath felt moist against my skin, as it penetrated the fabric of the quilt.
His arms tightened around my body and his hands caressed me wherever they touched.

I had a major headache, and the shock of today's events hadn't really even begun to wear off, but a distinct tingling shot through my body as I felt his hand softly explore my figure, careful not to find exposed skin. I froze for a moment, not understanding the jolts of excitement running through me but I realized after a couple seconds that it was nothing alarming, nothing bad. On the contrary, I felt a different kind of high coming on.

"Frank.." I started, even though I had no idea what I wanted to say.

"Mm-hm?" His low voice made shivers go down my spine. I heard traces of a teasing smile in his tone.

"Nothing" I breathed out.

Why say anything? I could sit here for the rest of my days, in the arms of my angel, listening to the sound of his soft breathing. There was no sound in the entire universe, or the next, that I cherished more than his heartbeat. Especially after today. I was grateful for every beat of his heart, every movement of his hands, every sound that escaped his lips.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I have a blurry vision somewhere in the corner of my mind, of Frank carrying me back to the house and onto a bed in a room much lighter than the basement. I was wrapped around in even more blankets and just when I thought that I'd gotten all there was he could give me, he laid down beside me, pulled me close and gazed deep into my eyes until they finally fluttered close.