FicWad

Hello. This is going to be my final story on this account.

Hello people who are actually going to read this, I have something to say. I have changed I have changed a lot actually which is why I must die. I need to die. I have to atone for a deathly sin that I have done. DONT WORRY THIS IS A GOOD SUCICIDE LETTER....now all of you are probably thinking 'um how the fuck can you make a suicide letter good?' JUST BARE WITH ME OKAY?? I have decided to share this moment out there with you guys as well because even though I don't know you and you don't know me I have grown attached to you guys so I feel you have the right to know :)

Okay now look, basically my best friend came back. I really missed her and everything and she missed me too! Alas though, I screwed it up with to little words, yet I am not what would you say regretful of saying it?? Okay well maybe I am a little, but saying those words was a HUGE slap in the face for me that slap told me that HEY STOP BEING SUCH A BITCHING ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE!! So, I am going to stop being a bitchy asshole and just end it :)

PLEASE KEEP READING BEFORE YOU FLIP

Hear me out! I am going to die METAPHORICALLY I am going to die yes but come back. I am going to come back all put together. All the pieces that I tried to throw away because they didn't please me I am going to use them and complete the puzzle. I am going to be put together COMPLETELY both good and bad pieces coming together in harmony, because I realized that how can I still be seeking happiness for myself when I haven't even excepted all of me yet. I made a promise to that best friend I mentioned earlier, and I broke it. Of course she doesn't know about it but I do. I promised that I wouldn't disappoint her and I would always be by her side. Through the good and the bad times. I also promised that I would get better no matter what. I broke that promise though. So, to atone for this deadly sin I am going to die. AGAIN METAPHORICALLY some of you might think I am crazy for thinking this let alone writing it but it makes sense to me and maybe it will to you too. When I do come back though, and I will, I am going to keep that promise.
I am not going to shut people out.
I am not going to turn to pills as my solution to my problems.
I am not going to get drunk just to forget what is happening.
I am not going to shut down the people I care about most.
I am not going to throw up forcefully anymore or starve myself.
I am not going to lie to the ones I care for.
I am not going to be so damn UGH anymore because that is just not me. I thought it was but in the mist of me trying to get rid of most of my puzzle pieces I got rid of the most important one the one that made me.... well me.


Here is what I am going to do:
I am going to reach out to people.
I am going to eat because, fuck I may think I am a fat ass but HEY people STILL think I look cute.
I am going to try at life.
I am going to grab people's hand if they are willing to give it and never let go.
I am going to not try to forget my past because if has formed me into the person I am today.
I am going to keep on living.
I am going to take pictures of myself and not delete them.
I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST THAT I CAN MOTHERFUCKING BE!!
Yes, I will make mistakes! Yes, I will do some wrong things from time to time BUT THAT IS MOTHERFUCKING LIFE! NO one can say that they are an absolute saint and that they have a clean slate. EVERY GETS STAINED!
I AM GOING TO FACE THE FUCKING MUSIC


I AM GOING TO KEEP MY PROMISE BECAUSE I MAY BE A SCREWED UP ASSHOLE WHO IS FAT, UGLY, BIPOLAR, BILEMIC, TRUST ISSUES, LOUD MOUTH, AWFUL SPELLER, OBESE, INSOMNIC, NOT WELL AT WRITING, HAVE A JACKED UP FINGER, WILD HAIR, BIG NOSE, AND STUPID LAUGH!!


BUT IT IS ME!!!!!!!

ALL OF IT IS ME!!

I am tired of ignoring it
Tired of denying it
So good bye everyone

I am dead now... BUT SOON REBORN as me :)










I am sorry but I have to mention these people before I sign off.


Lilly-
Dude, I honestly don't know how you even put up with me XD!!
I even unfriended you for a period of time and flat out IGNORED YOU but when I came back you still excepted me with open arms. I am so grateful for that. Also, thanks for being on my ass the whole time about me getting high :) YOU HAVE SAVED MANY OF MY BRAIN CELLS. I also want to thank you for just being...... well you.


RyanCyanideKiller-
Thank you for the emails! They mean so much to me. I also want to thank you for allowing my to trust you and you not breaking it. Plus, I appreciate the advice you gave me :)
EMAIL ME ANYTIME YOU WANT I would gladly answer.


BipolarUnicorn-
THANKS FOR YOUR EMAILS AS WELL XD I love you stories never stop writing them. Thank you for you companionship


Kaytlin-
SORRY IF I SPELT YOUR NAME WRONG DX
Thank you for being there for me. For making me laugh when I thought I couldn't and even the little things that you do for me :) For example, finding that Justin Bieber invite for one of my parties :) Thank you for everything.


Jarvis-
YOU ARE MY MOTHERFUCKING TOASTER I mean what else can I say other than I am glad to have you in my life :) Thank you for everything.


Elizabeth-
BITCH I LOVE YOU I am so glad I met you! I can't imagine my life without you! You played such a huge role in it that I just never want you to leave me :) Thank you for all your help, support, and most of all thank you for your friendship.


Alexis-
DONT YOU DARE BITE MY EAR EVER AGAIN
Anyway I am glad I got to know you. You are really fun and you were there for me, so thank you.


Madison-
OMG we have done so much crazy shit together XD from both soccer and school but I wouldn't replace a minute of it. So thank you.


Mr. Moore-
I AM YOUR ADOPTED DAUGHTER XD I am so glad I got to be your student. You were funny and helped me through some of my problems YOU EVEN GAVE ME MY FIRST SNAKE I can say that I honestly love you like a father. You gave me a shoulder to cry on. Thank you.


Mrs. McDaniel and Ms. Cronier-
You guys were awesome never change! Thanks for looking out for me.


Sarah-
I STILL REMEBER WHEN WE FIRST MET IN THE 2ND GRADE :) We have had so many crazy laughs together and when we were reunited in the what? 7 or 6th grade I am glad that we were able to cherish those memories together again. Thank you.


Jada-
GLAD I REMBERED YOUR NAME thank you for being there for me.


Anna-
Thank you for being disappointed in me. I will never break this promise ever again.


Now those are the people I can think of right now but to anyone personally that I left out know that I appreciate you VERY much. Really I do.







I love you all and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Even if you think you didn't have that much of an influence you did on me and I am grateful to that more than you will ever know, because I would not have even gotten to this point if it weren't for you.