FicWad

Insecurity.

I am insecure about a lot of things. So insecure, that I let it run my life sometimes. I'm insecure about my weight. I'm insecure about how I look. I'm insecure about how I am. I tell myself, every day, how would somebody even like a girl like me, and be physically attracted to this repulsive creature I see in the mirror every morning and every evening. Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep, thinking about how the rest of my life is going to turn out shit, and how I probably will be sweeping up the streets when I'm older, with barely a penny to my name.

And, another thing. I'm so insecure about how I feel about pretty much every aspect of my entire being, that I can't even tell the one guy who I actually like in my school, how I really feel, because I'm too scared that it will all just crash and burn, like my last relationship. I see all these girls, with boyfriends, and I think 'what about me?'. Where's my guy, that makes me feel so happy about myself? Well, I guess no one can ever really be happy, can they? I know people say that normal is overrated, and you don't need someone in you life to make you happy, but, in these past few weeks and months, all I ever want to be is normal, because, clearly being normal is what you have to be to get somewhere in this world.

But I guess that's my insecurity talking, now, isn't it?

A/N: This, is all fucking true. I did, for a fact, cry myself to sleep last night, because of all of that, and because I'm so sick and tired of people telling me I'm not ugly or fat or any of that, because it's all lies. I know what I see, and I hate myself for it. And, it is true, I do actually like a guy in my school, he might like me back, but I guess we'll never know that huh? Yes, the glorious depression has seeped its way back into my core. And, this is going to pain some of you who are my dearest friends, but I self-harmed again last night. Yes, I dug my fingernails into my skin. This is why I'm getting councelling.