FicWad

The card says:

"I am so sorry! I'm an asshole! I got scared, and I know that's not a good enough excuse, but it's the truth. I've never been through a situation like this, and it scares me. My feelings for you scares me. But I genuinely want to try and make this work. Please forgive me! And please don't leave! Truly, Patrick"

I back up to sit down on the bed with the card in my hand, and I just stare at it. I think back to what happened to lead up to Patrick sending me flowers and a "forgive me" card.

He had come to pick me up at 10 on the dot. He was always very punctual.

"Hi, Sweetie! You look great!" he said and gave me a chewing gum flavored kiss.

"Hi, Honey!" I said with a smirk. I couldn't believe we'd gotten to the "cute and cuddly" nick name phase already. "Thanks! You look great too, Trick!"

And he really did. He had a black button down shirt with the top buttons open and a royal blue t-shirt peeking through. It was the first time I'd seen him dress so casual, and without a neck or bow tie. He'd completed the outfit with dark blue tight jeans and a black studded leather-belt. On his feet he had black Chucks. He was so adorable! It was a very similar look to the style he'd had with Fall Out Boy. I liked it very much!

As usual we went in his Prius. He had taken me to his favorite science museum. Everything was awesome, Patrick had shown me his favorite pieces, we did some fun experiments and laughed a lot. And we had actually walked most of the time hand in hand. By lunch time we ate at the restaurant at the museum. We had just been talking about whatever and Patrick had mentioned one of his songs.

"That is actually one of my favorite songs of yours," I interjected.

"Yeah, I keep forgetting…" Patrick said, and he actually sounded a bit bitter, "you're a fan…" he ended kind of sarcastically.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" I asked annoyed.

"It's just… I keep forgetting you're fan of mine. It's a bit weird for me, you know," he said with his brow a bit wrinkled.

My stomach clenched.

"What? You think I'm here with you right now 'cause I'm your fan?" my voice raised an octave.

"Well, it's kinda hard to know… I just don't, do I? I've never actually dated a fan before… I just don't want you to be here 'cause I'm your idol and this is some fangirl experience…"

My eyes filled with tears and my throat closed up.

"Fangirl? Do you honestly think I still look at you like you're my idol? Like we haven't be through enough together to be way past that point?" and I felt the tears run down my face.

Patrick just stared at me with a mix of disbelief and regret on his face, but before he actually had time to say anything, I stood up so fast that my chair slammed back to the floor.

"FINE! I'm leaving!" I said loudly. And I left.

My tears well up again as I look at the flowers he sent. I though Patrick didn't do cliché… But I guess he's winging it… I don't know what to think. He could be genuine. It could be that he just made a mistake, but shit, he'd really hurt me. I'm not a fucking fangirl! I was still pissed that he'd actually thought that.

But I guess if I try to see it from his point of view it can't be easy. He's under scrutiny all the time, and everything he does or doesn't do is news since he's a celebrity. And being in a relationship with someone that from the start was a fan could make the tabloids blow up.

But the thing is, I don't look at him like a celebrity anymore. The only "celebrity" thing we've encountered so far is the incident at the movie theatre. To me, he is just this awesome guy that I'm in love with.

Yeah, I'm in love with Patrick. That's why it fucking hurts that he doubts me. And that is also why I'm not going to do something stupid, like pack my bags and go home. I guess I'm going to have to convince him about my feelings and fight for us. Hopefully Patrick will be willing to give us a chance. But my ego is still bruised…

Beep, beep! A text:

"I hope you got the flowers. I know I don't deserve it, but will you please give me a second chance…? I am so so sorry! I really want to make it up to you. Would you please consider having dinner with me tonight at my place?"

Okay, seems like he's actually sorry… And we do need to talk about our future, if we have one… I write back a text consisting of three letters only:

"Yes"

Just thirty seconds later:

"Thank you so much! I'll pick you up at six."

I go to splash plenty of cold water on my face to get the swelling down and then I take a long bath. After the bath I take a nap because the crying has left me with a terrible headache.

When I make myself ready I try my best to look my cutest. Either we work out or we don't, but this is a time I need to look my absolute best.

At six o'clock on the nose, there's a knock on the door. I, being ready on time, open it. Patrick is standing there with a bit of a pout on his lips and more flowers. He's all in black, black suit, black shirt, black shoes. The only splash of color is his tie. An orange piano 80's style neck tie. The tie I gave him the first time we met.

I first look at his pouting face and then down at the tie, I cock my left eyebrow and grin a little.

"Kiss-ass!" I say with fake accusation.

His face lights up in that beautiful smile he has.

"Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do… I am so sorry!" he hands me the flowers, which is an even bigger bouquet than the first.

"Uhm… Thanks…" I mumble, as I take the flowers and go to put them on the night stand.

My room is now extremely colorful with the two bouquets and the balloons. Patrick walks carefully into the room.

With an insecure smile he says "Oh, you kept the others? I thought for sure you'd throw them out the window, or shred them or something…"

"Yeah, well, I can't say I didn't consider it…" I answer and scowl a bit.

Patrick comes up to me, looks down at the floor in shame and then looks up at me with eyes so full of regret that I've ever seen. They are also glistening a little - like he's close to tears.

"I'm an absolute fucking asshole!" he exclaims. "Please forgive me… I beg you…" Patrick is pleading, and I can see he's almost crying. "I'd be heartbroken if you left…" and with those words a tear spills over from one of his eyes.

Oh, how can I be angry with him? He's obviously very sorry and upset. I reach out my right hand and wipe the tear away with my thumb, the same way he did with me after our first night together. Patrick throws his arms around me, and hides his face in my neck.

"You really hurt me you know?" I whisper into his neck.

"I know, I know… I'm so sorry…" he looks up at me with another tear rolling down, "will you forgive me?"

I watch Patrick intensely and he seems nervous. He is also extremely beautiful as he is silently crying. I kiss him on his wet cheek.

"Yes, I will. But I'd appreciate if you'd try to not hurt me again…" I smile at him.

Patrick exhales deeply.

"I won't hurt you again!" he declares without blinking. "Thank you…" and he looks so relived and adorable with his face still wet from the tears that fell.

I press my lips to his in the most "I forgive you" kind of way I can think of. He kisses me back appreciatively right away. Make up kissing! It's awesome. He runs his hands through my hair and I run my hands over his back and neck. I pull my face away from his, but he just moves his lips to my neck.

"So dinner at your place, huh? Can't wait to see it, and meet Penny," I smile.

But Patrick's totally into kissing my neck, and caressing my back and hair, so he hardly notices.

"Hey…" I say as I grab a soft hold of his hair and pull him away from me.

"Huh?" he's looking confused.

I laugh.

"Your place? Dinner? Meet Penny?"

"Oh… Yeah… Well, let's go then," he says like he's all of a sudden in a hurry.

I laugh at him again as he's practically dragging me out the door. When we're about to drive off, Patrick turns to me.

"By the way, did I happen to mention that you look absolutely incredible?"

"No, you didn't actually…" I grin.

"You look absolutely incredible!" he says with awe in his voice, and then he starts the car.

Well, mission accomplished!

With a British accent I answer "Why thank you, my good sir. And I must say that you are looking quite dapper yourself this evening."

Patrick cracks up.

"Well, thanks, I try…" he's still snickering.

The rest of the ride is spent sort of quiet, it's like a silent agreement that we're not going to have a serious "where is this relationship going" talk in a car.

Patrick's house a perfectly sized two story white sugar cube sort of a house. The front lawn is moderately sized with two large oak trees and a white wooden plank on each side of the house to the back yard.

When he opens the front door I hear a yap and a red fur ball attacks Patrick's feet. Penny's overjoyed to see her daddy.

"Hiya Penny, have you been a good girl while I was away?" he says with the sweetest voice.

Penny wags her tail in warp speed. And then she notices me and the waging stops. I bend down on one knee and slowly put out my hand for her to sniff. I can see that she's curious, she sort of creeps closer. Patrick just stands back and observes. Penny sniffs my hand carefully, after a couple of seconds her tail starts waging again, and I actually venture a little scratch behind her ear. I'm rewarded with a lick on the wrist.

Both Patrick and I go "Awww…" at the same time.

"Well, that's settled then," he smiles at me and then at Penny, "we'll keep her!"

Huh? Keep who? Did he talk to me or the dog?

"Come on in, let's do 'The Cribs' tour," he says and takes my hand.

The house is colored in light colors, and has huge windows with airy curtains to block inside view and lots of green plants. It feels very Scandinavian. The kitchen, dining room and living room is practically one open space.

Between the kitchen and dining room there's a bar table with high stools on both sides. He's got stainless steel fridge and freezer, stove and micro wave. There's a state of the art coffee machine. And a TV by the ceiling tilted down, facing the bar table. There are cabinets all the way up to the high ceiling and a thin ladder on a tread that goes all the way around. And the floor is checkered in black and white.

The dining area has a huge dark hard wood table and twelve chairs. There are two big lamps above the table.

The living room's got two large white squishy sofas, a couple of stuffed chairs and a very big TV. And of course speakers all around the room. The entertainment center looks very advanced and complicated.

The best part of the living room is in the far off corner, where there is an open fire place. In front of the hearth is a very fluffy carpet and a comfortable looking chair with a foot stool. And beside the fire place there is a black grand piano. Damn! I want to hear him play that.

Upstairs there are four rooms. An office with a desk and lots and lots of books, two guest bedrooms and Patrick's master bedroom.

He's got a huge four poster bed with an access of blankets, duvets, and pillows in soft colors. It looks super inviting. I blush a little! Patrick doesn't notice, he just shows me the beautiful walk-in-closet. The kind that is every girls dream. In the corner of the bedroom he's also got his black acoustic guitar. His bathroom is also gorgeous with a big jacuzzi and a steam shower. Dang! This house has it all!

"Your house is very beautiful, Patrick. I love everything!"

"Thank you! But you haven't seen everything yet. Now I'm gonna show you my favorite room," he smiles.

"There's more? I thought it was only two floors," I ask surprised.

"Yep! Above ground there is," he grabs my hand and pulls me downstairs again. "Come on!" he's acting like a kid on Christmas.

Penny is trotting after us the whole time. Patrick walks up to a door in the hallway that's most likely the door out to the garage or something. He wants to show me a car? That doesn't seem like him. But no, no garage, there's stairs behind it.

We walk down them, Penny stays behind. Patrick smiles a little.

"Penny doesn't like these stairs, or the dark under the house. But just as well. Too much stuff down here anyway."

Patrick hits the light switch, and I just gawk.