Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > What Goes Around
Gerard sat on the stairs of the backstage exit smoking as he waited for Charlie to arrive at the club. He hadn’t spoken to Frank since he’d stormed out on their meal four days ago and he’d spent the time alone since, not talking to anyone (not that he regularly spoke to many people anyway) and staring at the letter that his brother had sent. He had thought, for a little while, that he’d finally found someone, a serious boyfriend, someone who got him. But he was obviously like everyone else Gerard had ever dated - only viewed him as some fucking damsel, stripping until someone came along to rescue him. Viewed as a novelty. Defined by his situation.
“Hey, Hun!” Charlie called from the end of the alley. “I brought Dylan with me.”
Dylan raised a hand in a ‘hello’ gesture and gave him a nod.
“Hey.” Gerard called, flicking the ash from the end of his cigarette.
“See you inside!” Charlie yelled, tugging his boyfriend to the front entrance. His dumb boyfriend, Gerard thought maliciously. Charlie hadn’t even asked why he hadn’t called like usual or spoken to him in nearly a week, all because he was infatuated with his stupid boyfriend. Gerard sighed and stubbed his cigarette out on the wall. He was definitely a horrible person, a horrible jealous person, who would rather have Charlie listening to him whining 24/7 than enjoying himself.
Max, who also worked at the club, opened the backstage exit and said “You’re on in a half hour, Gerard.”
Gerard slowly pulled himself up and trudged back inside to get changed into his stage clothes and down several anti depressants at once.
*
Another week passed without any calls from Charlie or Frank, and Gerard had slipped into a trance. He knew Charlie wasn’t doing it to be mean, but it would have been nice if he hadn’t have blown Gerard off the instant he got a boyfriend. And Gerard wasn’t even sure what Frank was doing, but he was now pretty sure they were finished. He just wandered around between work and smoking and staring at the blank canvas trying to find inspiration to paint. And the letter. He spent a lot of time re-reading the letter.
However, when he finished his shift on Thursday, he found Frank waiting for him as he left the club.
“Oh. Hey.” Gerard said, shifting his satchel on his shoulder.
“Hi.” Frank said, giving him a tentative smile. “I, uh, wanted to talk to you.”
Gerard was an adult. Adults could do this. “Uh, yeah, sure, I guess.”
Frank flashed him another smile and they began walking in silence to the 24 hour diner nearby. When they were finally seated and had ordered, Frank began talking.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call after I last saw you.” Frank said, drawing shapes on the table with his index finger. “But I’ve been really busy.”
“Is that all you came to tell me?” Gerard asked sceptically.
“No. Well. Uh. I’ve actually been busy because my band got signed.” Frank said. Gerard raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, that’s pretty cool. Congratulations.” He said, giving Frank a small smile.
“Thanks. We’d been trying to for a while so we’re all pretty excited. But, well, we’ve also been offered a tour, a few shows along the east coast and then a few in Europe, where apparently we have this weird following.” Frank said, finally looking up at Gerard. Gerard blinked a few times.
“Oh. Right. Congratulations again. How long is the tour for?” He asked. Frank chewed his lip.
“Two months.”
“Have fun, I guess.” Gerard said, giving Frank another quick smile.
“Also I wanted to say sorry for last time I saw you. That was kind of out of order. Sorry.” Frank apologised.
“It’s fine. Sorry for leaving. I’ve just had that conversation too many times.” Gerard sighed, ruffling his hair. “So where does this leave us?”
Frank went back to looking at his coffee. “I don’t know. It’s going to be hard for me to have a relationship while travelling. We’re probably going to be hardcore recording when we get back. I just don’t think the time is right for me to have a serious relationship.”
“Sure.” Gerard said, drumming his fingers on the side of his mug before draining it. “Well, good luck and everything. I’ll see you around.”
“You’re leaving?” Frank asked, startled, looking at Gerard as he stood up.
“Yeah. Have fun.” Gerard said, grabbing his bag and walking out. It was nearly midnight and pitch black as he walked home by himself, which he knew wasn’t a good idea. But whatever. He didn’t want to waste time with small talk after being dumped by Frank. He had a life too, even if it wasn’t touring around Europe with a stupid band. Gerard rubbed his face as he realised he was being petty again. But it stung that after having thought that Frank was okay, more than okay, that he didn’t want a relationship to get in the way of his music career. Gerard walked through the dark streets of New York as fast as he could, so he wouldn’t get accosted by shady drug dealers.
He hoisted his bag up on his shoulder as he got to his apartment block and climbed the flight of stairs up to his apartment. As he walked along the corridor, he saw someone sitting down beside his front door, leaning against the wall. He hoped it wasn’t someone who had over dosed again.
He went to unlock his door without disturbing the person sitting there, but they scrambled up as soon as they saw him. The lights overhead flickered, making it hard to make out the face.
“Gerard?” The person said. Though it was hard to make out the face, Gerard could recognise that voice anywhere.
“Adam?” He gasped, falling back against his door.
“G, I made a huge mistake. I missed you so much.” Adam said, placing his hands on Gerard’s waist and slurring his words slightly.
“What the fuck? Don’t touch me - where the fuck did you go? What? Why are you back?” Gerard struggled for words as he pushed Adam off.
“I realised I made a huge mistake.” Adam said, placing a hand on Gerard’s cheek.
“What, two years after leaving? And what the fuck, are you high?” Gerard spluttered.
“Will you take me back?” He asked, pupils fully dilated.
“What is fucking going on?” Gerard asked.
“Don’t say you don’t still love me - you’re still in the same apartment we rented.” Adam crowed.
“It was the only one I could fucking afford when you left me!” Gerard snapped, shoving him off and opening the door.
“I never stopped loving you!” Adam yelled. Gerard stared at him, horrified.
“Get inside, Christ, you’re going to wake up everyone and get me kicked out!” Gerard exclaimed, dragging Adam inside and locking the door.
“G, I thought about you everyday I was gone. I fucked up and I missed you. I love you Gerard!” He cried, his eyes still wide. Gerard shook his head and felt his eyes becoming wet.
“You can stay here for one night and then I never, ever want to see you again. Ever.” Gerard snapped, blinking back tears. He used the back of his sleeve to wipe his eyes. “I’ll get some blankets.”
“I’m sorry, G. Baby. Sweetheart. I still- I still have the cinema ticket from our first date in my pocket and- and I have that photo of us when we first moved in here and I- I bet you haven’t painted over the carving we made on the bedpost.” Adam said, placing a hand gently on Gerard’s waist.
“A and G forever.” Gerard said, with a watery smile.
“And we can be, Baby, all I’m asking for is another chance. I love you. I don’t regret anything as much as I regret leaving you.” Adam whispered, stroking his cheek. Unable to contain himself, tears began streaming down his face. He began to shake his head, but suddenly Adam was kissing him, deep and slow, like he did when they first move in together and had every night to themselves. Gerard slowly wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck and kissed him back. They staggered back so that Gerard was pressed against the wall, still kissing like they’d never separated.
*
“Hey, Hun!” Charlie called from the end of the alley. “I brought Dylan with me.”
Dylan raised a hand in a ‘hello’ gesture and gave him a nod.
“Hey.” Gerard called, flicking the ash from the end of his cigarette.
“See you inside!” Charlie yelled, tugging his boyfriend to the front entrance. His dumb boyfriend, Gerard thought maliciously. Charlie hadn’t even asked why he hadn’t called like usual or spoken to him in nearly a week, all because he was infatuated with his stupid boyfriend. Gerard sighed and stubbed his cigarette out on the wall. He was definitely a horrible person, a horrible jealous person, who would rather have Charlie listening to him whining 24/7 than enjoying himself.
Max, who also worked at the club, opened the backstage exit and said “You’re on in a half hour, Gerard.”
Gerard slowly pulled himself up and trudged back inside to get changed into his stage clothes and down several anti depressants at once.
*
Another week passed without any calls from Charlie or Frank, and Gerard had slipped into a trance. He knew Charlie wasn’t doing it to be mean, but it would have been nice if he hadn’t have blown Gerard off the instant he got a boyfriend. And Gerard wasn’t even sure what Frank was doing, but he was now pretty sure they were finished. He just wandered around between work and smoking and staring at the blank canvas trying to find inspiration to paint. And the letter. He spent a lot of time re-reading the letter.
However, when he finished his shift on Thursday, he found Frank waiting for him as he left the club.
“Oh. Hey.” Gerard said, shifting his satchel on his shoulder.
“Hi.” Frank said, giving him a tentative smile. “I, uh, wanted to talk to you.”
Gerard was an adult. Adults could do this. “Uh, yeah, sure, I guess.”
Frank flashed him another smile and they began walking in silence to the 24 hour diner nearby. When they were finally seated and had ordered, Frank began talking.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call after I last saw you.” Frank said, drawing shapes on the table with his index finger. “But I’ve been really busy.”
“Is that all you came to tell me?” Gerard asked sceptically.
“No. Well. Uh. I’ve actually been busy because my band got signed.” Frank said. Gerard raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, that’s pretty cool. Congratulations.” He said, giving Frank a small smile.
“Thanks. We’d been trying to for a while so we’re all pretty excited. But, well, we’ve also been offered a tour, a few shows along the east coast and then a few in Europe, where apparently we have this weird following.” Frank said, finally looking up at Gerard. Gerard blinked a few times.
“Oh. Right. Congratulations again. How long is the tour for?” He asked. Frank chewed his lip.
“Two months.”
“Have fun, I guess.” Gerard said, giving Frank another quick smile.
“Also I wanted to say sorry for last time I saw you. That was kind of out of order. Sorry.” Frank apologised.
“It’s fine. Sorry for leaving. I’ve just had that conversation too many times.” Gerard sighed, ruffling his hair. “So where does this leave us?”
Frank went back to looking at his coffee. “I don’t know. It’s going to be hard for me to have a relationship while travelling. We’re probably going to be hardcore recording when we get back. I just don’t think the time is right for me to have a serious relationship.”
“Sure.” Gerard said, drumming his fingers on the side of his mug before draining it. “Well, good luck and everything. I’ll see you around.”
“You’re leaving?” Frank asked, startled, looking at Gerard as he stood up.
“Yeah. Have fun.” Gerard said, grabbing his bag and walking out. It was nearly midnight and pitch black as he walked home by himself, which he knew wasn’t a good idea. But whatever. He didn’t want to waste time with small talk after being dumped by Frank. He had a life too, even if it wasn’t touring around Europe with a stupid band. Gerard rubbed his face as he realised he was being petty again. But it stung that after having thought that Frank was okay, more than okay, that he didn’t want a relationship to get in the way of his music career. Gerard walked through the dark streets of New York as fast as he could, so he wouldn’t get accosted by shady drug dealers.
He hoisted his bag up on his shoulder as he got to his apartment block and climbed the flight of stairs up to his apartment. As he walked along the corridor, he saw someone sitting down beside his front door, leaning against the wall. He hoped it wasn’t someone who had over dosed again.
He went to unlock his door without disturbing the person sitting there, but they scrambled up as soon as they saw him. The lights overhead flickered, making it hard to make out the face.
“Gerard?” The person said. Though it was hard to make out the face, Gerard could recognise that voice anywhere.
“Adam?” He gasped, falling back against his door.
“G, I made a huge mistake. I missed you so much.” Adam said, placing his hands on Gerard’s waist and slurring his words slightly.
“What the fuck? Don’t touch me - where the fuck did you go? What? Why are you back?” Gerard struggled for words as he pushed Adam off.
“I realised I made a huge mistake.” Adam said, placing a hand on Gerard’s cheek.
“What, two years after leaving? And what the fuck, are you high?” Gerard spluttered.
“Will you take me back?” He asked, pupils fully dilated.
“What is fucking going on?” Gerard asked.
“Don’t say you don’t still love me - you’re still in the same apartment we rented.” Adam crowed.
“It was the only one I could fucking afford when you left me!” Gerard snapped, shoving him off and opening the door.
“I never stopped loving you!” Adam yelled. Gerard stared at him, horrified.
“Get inside, Christ, you’re going to wake up everyone and get me kicked out!” Gerard exclaimed, dragging Adam inside and locking the door.
“G, I thought about you everyday I was gone. I fucked up and I missed you. I love you Gerard!” He cried, his eyes still wide. Gerard shook his head and felt his eyes becoming wet.
“You can stay here for one night and then I never, ever want to see you again. Ever.” Gerard snapped, blinking back tears. He used the back of his sleeve to wipe his eyes. “I’ll get some blankets.”
“I’m sorry, G. Baby. Sweetheart. I still- I still have the cinema ticket from our first date in my pocket and- and I have that photo of us when we first moved in here and I- I bet you haven’t painted over the carving we made on the bedpost.” Adam said, placing a hand gently on Gerard’s waist.
“A and G forever.” Gerard said, with a watery smile.
“And we can be, Baby, all I’m asking for is another chance. I love you. I don’t regret anything as much as I regret leaving you.” Adam whispered, stroking his cheek. Unable to contain himself, tears began streaming down his face. He began to shake his head, but suddenly Adam was kissing him, deep and slow, like he did when they first move in together and had every night to themselves. Gerard slowly wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck and kissed him back. They staggered back so that Gerard was pressed against the wall, still kissing like they’d never separated.
*
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