Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts
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Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts
(#) ralphmullins 2013-09-01
Grate chapter I can't wait for the nest one.Author's response
Thanks. That means a lot to me.Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts
(#) Cateagle 2013-09-02
snicker Truly a fun chapter and 'twill be most interesting to see how matters develop from here.Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts
(#) Ashestoashes 2013-09-26
Third chapter was, I dunno, boring perhaps?
But "where do you get a Portkey"? Really?! Third chapter he lets Sirius make one, at the Dursleys moreover! Get your story internals straight and fitting! While you mention Sirius in the next paragraph, I don't get the impression in that first paragraph that you still have that scene from the previous chapter in mind.
Also, a fight with /Ginny/, or with /Hannah/? It seems you can't keep your hybrid OOC OC canon characters apart anymore in your own head. (And I didn't mention that specifically in my first review, but let me say that was perhaps the most ridiculous part of the whole story, though there is much to choose from in the first chapter. The immediately preceding asking to the ball by Harry of a different girl than his girlfriend while she sits in the immediate vicinity comes very close.)
The Dursleys scene was decent.
The Ministry scene somewhat, but a bit too fast again at the end. Or perhaps better: internally incoherent. I seem to remember having seen Susan's aunt in a previous chapter, so why is she suddenly such a new, unknown and unseen before character to Harry?
This and the previous chapter are halfway decent, but not enough for me to follow the story I'm afraid.Author's response
Hello Ashestoashes,
yes the first fiction is always the worst, no doubt about that. But I thank you for your reviews. Just the one thing: in the first chapter you've seen Madam Amelia Bones, Aunt to Susan and Director of the Magical Law Enforcement. In this chapter you've been introduced to Brigitta Bones, Mother of Susan Bones and Sister in Law to Madam Amelia Bones.
Still, thank you for the reviews. They are raising valid points and they are helping me make this story better. :)
No promises though, this is just a Hobby for me...
rascaldiHarry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts
(#) NobleK 2013-09-26
WOnder who the "red-headed ICBM" is...? Probably Ginny....
Wish the 'Alert' system would tell me which chapter was most recently posted. :-(Harry Potter and the east wing of Hogwarts
(#) rascaldi 2013-09-26
Hello NobleK,
yes, the "Alert"-system could do with some improving, but then - so could my writing. Well, beggars can't be choosers... But thanks for your review.
rascaldiAuthor's response
Concerning the red-headed ICBM: Wait for the next chapter... ;-)
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