Categories > Anime/Manga > Yami no Matsuei > Venus Butterfly
Chapter Nineteen: One of a Kind:
They all avoided him. Just like the lyric, on top of the world, he got nothing down. Hisoka stayed to himself in rehab. He wasn't bitter like first five days he arrived. The boy still didn't talk during sessions. He and Tana spent most of the mornings in silence. Yet, she didn't push him to make the first move nor did she attempt to begin. Hisoka stared her down for the whole session.
"It's like she wants me to start," he complained in his room.
"Why don't you?" Carrie asked over him. Hisoka glanced up at her.
"What would I say?" he asked. The round-faced redhead shrugged.
"Don't know," she said. "You have to say something, anything." Hisoka glanced over at the window. Carrie pushed some hair from her face.
"They all stare at you," she pointed out. Hisoka closed his eyes.
"I know," he muttered.
"Why?" Carrie asked. The shinigami pushed away her fingertips as she brushed his hair from his eyes.
"I'm a freak," he muttered. Carrie tilted her head at him.
"Why do you think that?" she asked. Hisoka shook his head.
"I want to be left alone," he muttered. Carrie looked him in the eye.
"You don't want that," she said. Hisoka turned his gaze away from her.
"How would you know that?" he huffed.
"You are loved," she said. "I can see into your heart. You are loved, but you are lonely." Hisoka didn't speak.
"Bullshit," he muttered.
"Which part?" his friend asked.
"All of it," the boy remarked.
"May I ask how?" Carrie asked. Hisoka snorted and gritted his teeth.
"Tic," he hissed. "I don't have to deal with this crap." The shinigami got up and walked out of the room. She could see into his heart? What a load of garbage! Hisoka slowed to a stop in the hallway. Still, Carrie hit the nail on the head. His own pride kept him from seeing the whole truth. Once he figured it out, the boy felt exposed. Two other patients walked past him in the hall. He felt their eyes locked on him. Boy he wanted to scream at them now.
Don't look at me! Go away! Go away! The feeling made him want to throw up. Fingertips brushed against his nape. Against his better judgment, Hisoka let his eyes trail behind him. Kohaku gave him a nightmarish grin. The kitsune had changed since their last encounter. The child's face started to look more fox-like. The pearly straight teeth turned into razor sharp fangs. Hisoka flinched as he moved away.
"Stop," he pleaded in a weakened whisper.
"Why?" Kohaku asked. "You loved it when I touched you like this." The kitsune reached for his back. Hisoka jumped away shivering.
"Stop!" he yelped. The shinigami took off running. Kohaku watched him on tip-toes.
"You can run away all you want," the child shouted after him. "But you'll be back for more! I'll be waiting!" Hisoka ran faster as it blew kisses at him. He shut his eyes and didn't stop.
Please leave me alone! I can't take this! The staring eyes and whispered floated in his head. The Shinigami wanted so desperately to disappear. I just want to be alone. His heart ached as he turned the corner. Why can't they just shut up?!
He stopped when he came to Tana's office door. Hisoka opened his eyes and saw it opened a crack. Tana sat at her desk working when she noticed the patient peeking in.
"Hisoka-kun, what's the matter?" she asked. The shinigami didn't move. He didn't even know why he came here in the first place. However, he couldn't turn back now; might as well go in. Hisoka lowered his shoulders and opened the door wider.
"Actually," he admitted. "I need to talk to you." Tana set aside her notes.
"Alright," she said. "Come in." Hisoka took in a breath and walked into her office.
They all avoided him. Just like the lyric, on top of the world, he got nothing down. Hisoka stayed to himself in rehab. He wasn't bitter like first five days he arrived. The boy still didn't talk during sessions. He and Tana spent most of the mornings in silence. Yet, she didn't push him to make the first move nor did she attempt to begin. Hisoka stared her down for the whole session.
"It's like she wants me to start," he complained in his room.
"Why don't you?" Carrie asked over him. Hisoka glanced up at her.
"What would I say?" he asked. The round-faced redhead shrugged.
"Don't know," she said. "You have to say something, anything." Hisoka glanced over at the window. Carrie pushed some hair from her face.
"They all stare at you," she pointed out. Hisoka closed his eyes.
"I know," he muttered.
"Why?" Carrie asked. The shinigami pushed away her fingertips as she brushed his hair from his eyes.
"I'm a freak," he muttered. Carrie tilted her head at him.
"Why do you think that?" she asked. Hisoka shook his head.
"I want to be left alone," he muttered. Carrie looked him in the eye.
"You don't want that," she said. Hisoka turned his gaze away from her.
"How would you know that?" he huffed.
"You are loved," she said. "I can see into your heart. You are loved, but you are lonely." Hisoka didn't speak.
"Bullshit," he muttered.
"Which part?" his friend asked.
"All of it," the boy remarked.
"May I ask how?" Carrie asked. Hisoka snorted and gritted his teeth.
"Tic," he hissed. "I don't have to deal with this crap." The shinigami got up and walked out of the room. She could see into his heart? What a load of garbage! Hisoka slowed to a stop in the hallway. Still, Carrie hit the nail on the head. His own pride kept him from seeing the whole truth. Once he figured it out, the boy felt exposed. Two other patients walked past him in the hall. He felt their eyes locked on him. Boy he wanted to scream at them now.
Don't look at me! Go away! Go away! The feeling made him want to throw up. Fingertips brushed against his nape. Against his better judgment, Hisoka let his eyes trail behind him. Kohaku gave him a nightmarish grin. The kitsune had changed since their last encounter. The child's face started to look more fox-like. The pearly straight teeth turned into razor sharp fangs. Hisoka flinched as he moved away.
"Stop," he pleaded in a weakened whisper.
"Why?" Kohaku asked. "You loved it when I touched you like this." The kitsune reached for his back. Hisoka jumped away shivering.
"Stop!" he yelped. The shinigami took off running. Kohaku watched him on tip-toes.
"You can run away all you want," the child shouted after him. "But you'll be back for more! I'll be waiting!" Hisoka ran faster as it blew kisses at him. He shut his eyes and didn't stop.
Please leave me alone! I can't take this! The staring eyes and whispered floated in his head. The Shinigami wanted so desperately to disappear. I just want to be alone. His heart ached as he turned the corner. Why can't they just shut up?!
He stopped when he came to Tana's office door. Hisoka opened his eyes and saw it opened a crack. Tana sat at her desk working when she noticed the patient peeking in.
"Hisoka-kun, what's the matter?" she asked. The shinigami didn't move. He didn't even know why he came here in the first place. However, he couldn't turn back now; might as well go in. Hisoka lowered his shoulders and opened the door wider.
"Actually," he admitted. "I need to talk to you." Tana set aside her notes.
"Alright," she said. "Come in." Hisoka took in a breath and walked into her office.
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