Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Maybe Together We Can Live
Two chapters one day is that better
Chapter 9
Gerard’s pov
As I drive I’m practically shaking I shouldn’t have agreed to this, fuck why did I agree to this, I’m not just risking my life I’m risking Bandits, I shouldn’t be doing this. I told my self that I didn’t know why he wanted to see me but I know why, he knows what happened and he knows I’m unstable so he’s going to strike while I’m weak. I shouldn’t be doing this, I don’t want to get into that shit again, but what if I do, no I can’t there’s Bandit, but Bandit might be better off without me.
I pull up to the alley and step out of the car and say, “I’m here”
Franks Pov
I park away from Gerard not wanting him to see me, I walk up quietly and hide behind a wall and listen closely, Gerard announces, “I’m here”
“Long time no see Gerard its been too long, what a little over 10 years”
That voice it’s so familiar and then I realize why, it’s the very person who got Gerard hooked on drugs, Bert. Gerard says, “In my eyes its far too soon”
Bert lets out a sadistic laugh and says, “Oh please Gerard I know you want this as much as I do, I’ve missed you and I know you missed me too”
Gerard lets out a sigh, “Of course I missed you Bert you were my friend but I can’t get into this shit and being around you wont help me stay out”
“Who gives a fuck Gerard, its your life do what you want”
“I can’t do that Bert you fucking know that I have Bandit and my friends”
Bert lets another cruel laugh out, “Yeah your friends the one from that band that broke up, you know you guys don’t really talk, you know they don’t want you around Gerard, right now you can look in their eyes and all you will see is pity, they keep you around and let you live with them because they pity you because your wife is dead and they don’t think you can raise Bandit”
“I can raise bandit”
“Really Gerard and what will happen first, you raising a daughter who is completely fucked up or your broken daughter realizing that her father is fucked up and has more nightmares then she does. Do you think that’s a good life for her, your friends would do a much better job raising her then you ever could so I don’t see the reason why you shouldn’t have a drink and make all this pain go away” Its silent for a while then Bert says, “Here just take it Gerard it will make you feel better”
I hear Gerard mumble, “Your right”
At that moment I step out to see Gerard reaching out to grab a bottle of beer and I scream, “No,” Gerard turns to stare at me, I grab his arm and pull him to my car and shove him into the passenger seat, “What the fuck Gerard you can’t seriously believe him, he’s a fucking dirt bag who wants you to suffer like that again. Don’t you remember those nights when you would get so hopelessly drunk that we would have to take you to the hospital or those times when it pulled you so deep into depression you wanted to kill yourself, why would you want to feel like that again?”
Gerard looks down and whispers, “what if I already feel like that”
My voice softens and I ask, “What?”
He looks me in my eyes and says, “I already feel that way, I already want to kill myself, every night I think about how easy it would be how much of a relief it would be to have to live through this fucking pain. But I don’t because I have bandit.”
“If you take that drink your hurting Bandit”
“but what if Berts right what if Bandits better off with out me”
“Bandit is better off with you now then she would be with a drunk father or a dead father”
Gerard gets out of the car and walks to his car and he drives away, I sigh then start heading home.
I pull into my drive way after Gerard and run up and grab his arm before he can walk into the house, “Gerard this conversation is not over”
He slowly turns to me and looks straight into my eyes, “Frank you don’t get it, so just stop, please”
I look deep into his eyes and see the pain and sorrow he’s suffering through, “Maybe if you actually fucking talked to me I would understand and I could help you, I don’t get why your pushing me away, I thought we were supposed to be best friends”
Gerard’s head drops, “I can’t talk to you why don’t you get this Frank, it’s painful, everything in my life is painful and I’m so fucking sick of it” he pulls his head up and looks at me I see tears fill his eyes, “It hurts to look at Bandit because I see my dead wife, it hurts knowing that I’m failing at being a single parent, it hurts that I lost the woman I loved most, it hurts to see the man I love most with another woman, it hurts to look at you and know that I can never have you, it hurts to see you happy when I’m so broken, it hurts to know that I consider leaving you all. Its this feeling deep in side me and makes me feel sick, its sadistic and all I want to do is cry, but I can’t my tears are gone, I hate staying strong when all I want to do is break down. I have to hold up the people around me, but Frank I’m so weak and I’m so tired and I just want to sleep. I want to be numb I want to feel the burn of the alcohol go down my throat; I want to swallow the pills with a shot of alcohol and feel numb. I want this to end this life full of pain because Frankie I’m tired.”
I try to say something but no words will come, Gerard drops his head and pulls his arm out of my light grip and walks inside with tears driping from his face.
Chapter 9
Gerard’s pov
As I drive I’m practically shaking I shouldn’t have agreed to this, fuck why did I agree to this, I’m not just risking my life I’m risking Bandits, I shouldn’t be doing this. I told my self that I didn’t know why he wanted to see me but I know why, he knows what happened and he knows I’m unstable so he’s going to strike while I’m weak. I shouldn’t be doing this, I don’t want to get into that shit again, but what if I do, no I can’t there’s Bandit, but Bandit might be better off without me.
I pull up to the alley and step out of the car and say, “I’m here”
Franks Pov
I park away from Gerard not wanting him to see me, I walk up quietly and hide behind a wall and listen closely, Gerard announces, “I’m here”
“Long time no see Gerard its been too long, what a little over 10 years”
That voice it’s so familiar and then I realize why, it’s the very person who got Gerard hooked on drugs, Bert. Gerard says, “In my eyes its far too soon”
Bert lets out a sadistic laugh and says, “Oh please Gerard I know you want this as much as I do, I’ve missed you and I know you missed me too”
Gerard lets out a sigh, “Of course I missed you Bert you were my friend but I can’t get into this shit and being around you wont help me stay out”
“Who gives a fuck Gerard, its your life do what you want”
“I can’t do that Bert you fucking know that I have Bandit and my friends”
Bert lets another cruel laugh out, “Yeah your friends the one from that band that broke up, you know you guys don’t really talk, you know they don’t want you around Gerard, right now you can look in their eyes and all you will see is pity, they keep you around and let you live with them because they pity you because your wife is dead and they don’t think you can raise Bandit”
“I can raise bandit”
“Really Gerard and what will happen first, you raising a daughter who is completely fucked up or your broken daughter realizing that her father is fucked up and has more nightmares then she does. Do you think that’s a good life for her, your friends would do a much better job raising her then you ever could so I don’t see the reason why you shouldn’t have a drink and make all this pain go away” Its silent for a while then Bert says, “Here just take it Gerard it will make you feel better”
I hear Gerard mumble, “Your right”
At that moment I step out to see Gerard reaching out to grab a bottle of beer and I scream, “No,” Gerard turns to stare at me, I grab his arm and pull him to my car and shove him into the passenger seat, “What the fuck Gerard you can’t seriously believe him, he’s a fucking dirt bag who wants you to suffer like that again. Don’t you remember those nights when you would get so hopelessly drunk that we would have to take you to the hospital or those times when it pulled you so deep into depression you wanted to kill yourself, why would you want to feel like that again?”
Gerard looks down and whispers, “what if I already feel like that”
My voice softens and I ask, “What?”
He looks me in my eyes and says, “I already feel that way, I already want to kill myself, every night I think about how easy it would be how much of a relief it would be to have to live through this fucking pain. But I don’t because I have bandit.”
“If you take that drink your hurting Bandit”
“but what if Berts right what if Bandits better off with out me”
“Bandit is better off with you now then she would be with a drunk father or a dead father”
Gerard gets out of the car and walks to his car and he drives away, I sigh then start heading home.
I pull into my drive way after Gerard and run up and grab his arm before he can walk into the house, “Gerard this conversation is not over”
He slowly turns to me and looks straight into my eyes, “Frank you don’t get it, so just stop, please”
I look deep into his eyes and see the pain and sorrow he’s suffering through, “Maybe if you actually fucking talked to me I would understand and I could help you, I don’t get why your pushing me away, I thought we were supposed to be best friends”
Gerard’s head drops, “I can’t talk to you why don’t you get this Frank, it’s painful, everything in my life is painful and I’m so fucking sick of it” he pulls his head up and looks at me I see tears fill his eyes, “It hurts to look at Bandit because I see my dead wife, it hurts knowing that I’m failing at being a single parent, it hurts that I lost the woman I loved most, it hurts to see the man I love most with another woman, it hurts to look at you and know that I can never have you, it hurts to see you happy when I’m so broken, it hurts to know that I consider leaving you all. Its this feeling deep in side me and makes me feel sick, its sadistic and all I want to do is cry, but I can’t my tears are gone, I hate staying strong when all I want to do is break down. I have to hold up the people around me, but Frank I’m so weak and I’m so tired and I just want to sleep. I want to be numb I want to feel the burn of the alcohol go down my throat; I want to swallow the pills with a shot of alcohol and feel numb. I want this to end this life full of pain because Frankie I’m tired.”
I try to say something but no words will come, Gerard drops his head and pulls his arm out of my light grip and walks inside with tears driping from his face.
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