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The Majestical Impala Love Story of Princess Gerard
0 reviewsI don't even know. It's a crackfic where Gerard is a princess, Ray is some sort of emporer guy, Mikey is an attractive servant, and Frank is an Ewok-human thing. It's so ridiculous that @badmcrfics...
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Once upon a time there lived a Princess named Gerard. Gerard was the sassiest princess in all of Giraffeland. On a cheery morning, Princess Gerard decided to walk through the Lollipop Forest of Magestical Dreams. He was strolling through the woodland when a small midget in a bear costume tugged on his royal gown.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Your Magesty, but you seemed to have dropped your Royal Boa.”
“Oh, my!” the Princess exclaimed. “Thank you for your bravery in returning it to me. But it has already touched the forest terrain!”
“Uhm… what does that mean?” the midget asked.
“Well, since my Royal Boa is made out of Rainbow Skarmory Feathers, we must take it to the Oracle of Purple Yo-yos.”
“Does this mean that we are going on an adventure?”
“Yes! Let’s take my Adventure Dragon of Dreams!”
The two jumped onto the dragon and took a magic portal to the Sky-Palace of the Oracle of Purple Yo-yos. It wasn’t long before they had made it up the licorice steps and into the courtroom.
“WHY HAVE YOU COME TO ME?” The Oracle demanded, fluffing his hair.
“We request your help in bathing my Royal Boa.” The Princess informed.
“AH. AND WHO ARE YOU?”
“I am Princess Gerard and this is some bear gu-”
“My name is Frankendobberhesclalooutsdtahkihohiaskhtoiasdta.” The bear-guy spoke.
“THAT NAME IS MUCH TOO LONG. I DUB YOU FRANK THE EWOK.”
“But, Your Greatness, I am not a bear OR and Ewok… I’m just dressed in a-”
“SILENCE. DO NOT QUESTION MY LOVELY CHOCOLATEY-BROWN AFRO OF AUTHORITY.”
“Yes sir.” Princess Gerard spoke. “But can you bathe my Royal Boa in the Waters of the Great Elephant?”
“BRING IN A SERVANT.” The Oracle ordered and in came a servant.
“My, well…” The Oracle began. “That sure is a nice servant… I usually get all those reject Ogres, but THIS servant. WELL. THAT’S A NICE SERVANT. Tell me, servant, what do you go by?”
“Well,” the servant stuttered. He looked only a few years younger than the Great Oracle of Purple Yo-yos himself. “My-my name is… M-Mikeyey.”
“WELL. Excuse me Princess and Ewok… Mikeyey and I have some important… LLAMAY BUSINESS to take care of so, uh… have fun out here… BYE!” And with that the Great Oracle and Servant Mikeyey didn’t come back for a very, VERY long time.
“Well, that was a failure…” Princess Gerard sighed.
“It’s okay, Your Magesty. I’m very sorry about the Royal Boa,” Frankendobberhesclalooutsdtahkihohiaskhtoiasdta apologized.
“Why thank-you Forest-Goer. I shall return you to your home now, I suppose.”
~~
“Well here we are, back in the Forest. Home sweet home,” the Princess gestured.
“Princess Gerard, I have something to confess,” the bear-Ewok-guy spoke.
“What is that?”
Right then, Frankenwhatsit imploded into a rainbow that blew up into a unicorn that danced until it was eaten by a giant lion that gave birth to a leprechaun that spit out a Pillow Pet that popped ice cubes from its eyeballs that froze into a daffodil that bloomed into a magnetized raincloud that precipitated flying waffles that was stabbed viciously until it bled out rotting cottage cheese that flew out of a Starfighter that was borrowed from a long distance cousin’s mother’s brother’s aunt’s first-neice’s great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-second uncle in law’s earlobes.
The sky turned pink as it gradually turned into a parachuting beaver and out emerged a new Frank (for short). This time, he wasn’t dressed in a bear costume, but rather a seahorse hat and a penguin costume. He was a little taller, but not much because he was the shortest person in the whole UNIVERSE OF WHITE LIQUIDS.
“I am really a Flying Cloud Fairy!” he exclaimed.
“Oh, Frankendobberhesclalooutsdtahkihohiaskhtoiasdta!!!” the Princess exclaimed.
And with that they rode into a coffee shop in the middle of the Handlebar Mustache Impala Desert and had seven kids that were named Criminal Picnic, Dancing Fish, Trolololololololololololol, Turtle Muffin, Brisk Rootbeer, Opaque Pokemon, and Cheryl. They then lived happily ever after.
THE MAGESTICAL END.
After Note…
The Oracle of Purple Yo-yos and Servant Mikeyey never did come out of the Oracle’s Magical Bedchambers and many believe that they were beamed to Planet SexualCamels or are still there to-day.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Your Magesty, but you seemed to have dropped your Royal Boa.”
“Oh, my!” the Princess exclaimed. “Thank you for your bravery in returning it to me. But it has already touched the forest terrain!”
“Uhm… what does that mean?” the midget asked.
“Well, since my Royal Boa is made out of Rainbow Skarmory Feathers, we must take it to the Oracle of Purple Yo-yos.”
“Does this mean that we are going on an adventure?”
“Yes! Let’s take my Adventure Dragon of Dreams!”
The two jumped onto the dragon and took a magic portal to the Sky-Palace of the Oracle of Purple Yo-yos. It wasn’t long before they had made it up the licorice steps and into the courtroom.
“WHY HAVE YOU COME TO ME?” The Oracle demanded, fluffing his hair.
“We request your help in bathing my Royal Boa.” The Princess informed.
“AH. AND WHO ARE YOU?”
“I am Princess Gerard and this is some bear gu-”
“My name is Frankendobberhesclalooutsdtahkihohiaskhtoiasdta.” The bear-guy spoke.
“THAT NAME IS MUCH TOO LONG. I DUB YOU FRANK THE EWOK.”
“But, Your Greatness, I am not a bear OR and Ewok… I’m just dressed in a-”
“SILENCE. DO NOT QUESTION MY LOVELY CHOCOLATEY-BROWN AFRO OF AUTHORITY.”
“Yes sir.” Princess Gerard spoke. “But can you bathe my Royal Boa in the Waters of the Great Elephant?”
“BRING IN A SERVANT.” The Oracle ordered and in came a servant.
“My, well…” The Oracle began. “That sure is a nice servant… I usually get all those reject Ogres, but THIS servant. WELL. THAT’S A NICE SERVANT. Tell me, servant, what do you go by?”
“Well,” the servant stuttered. He looked only a few years younger than the Great Oracle of Purple Yo-yos himself. “My-my name is… M-Mikeyey.”
“WELL. Excuse me Princess and Ewok… Mikeyey and I have some important… LLAMAY BUSINESS to take care of so, uh… have fun out here… BYE!” And with that the Great Oracle and Servant Mikeyey didn’t come back for a very, VERY long time.
“Well, that was a failure…” Princess Gerard sighed.
“It’s okay, Your Magesty. I’m very sorry about the Royal Boa,” Frankendobberhesclalooutsdtahkihohiaskhtoiasdta apologized.
“Why thank-you Forest-Goer. I shall return you to your home now, I suppose.”
~~
“Well here we are, back in the Forest. Home sweet home,” the Princess gestured.
“Princess Gerard, I have something to confess,” the bear-Ewok-guy spoke.
“What is that?”
Right then, Frankenwhatsit imploded into a rainbow that blew up into a unicorn that danced until it was eaten by a giant lion that gave birth to a leprechaun that spit out a Pillow Pet that popped ice cubes from its eyeballs that froze into a daffodil that bloomed into a magnetized raincloud that precipitated flying waffles that was stabbed viciously until it bled out rotting cottage cheese that flew out of a Starfighter that was borrowed from a long distance cousin’s mother’s brother’s aunt’s first-neice’s great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-second uncle in law’s earlobes.
The sky turned pink as it gradually turned into a parachuting beaver and out emerged a new Frank (for short). This time, he wasn’t dressed in a bear costume, but rather a seahorse hat and a penguin costume. He was a little taller, but not much because he was the shortest person in the whole UNIVERSE OF WHITE LIQUIDS.
“I am really a Flying Cloud Fairy!” he exclaimed.
“Oh, Frankendobberhesclalooutsdtahkihohiaskhtoiasdta!!!” the Princess exclaimed.
And with that they rode into a coffee shop in the middle of the Handlebar Mustache Impala Desert and had seven kids that were named Criminal Picnic, Dancing Fish, Trolololololololololololol, Turtle Muffin, Brisk Rootbeer, Opaque Pokemon, and Cheryl. They then lived happily ever after.
THE MAGESTICAL END.
After Note…
The Oracle of Purple Yo-yos and Servant Mikeyey never did come out of the Oracle’s Magical Bedchambers and many believe that they were beamed to Planet SexualCamels or are still there to-day.
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