FicWad

Chapter 13

Despite the impending confrontation that was inevitable once the weather cleared, Mulan and the other students passed the time in the main room practicing calligraphy with Master Jiang as the blizzard continued for almost a full day. Every hour or so, the students took turns going out in small groups to clear a passable path between the school and the separate building with the toilets, and from the front door to the stables off to the side in the front courtyard so they could feed and water the horses. They had enough water stored in the kitchen so they wouldn't need to worry about access to the well for another day. They had fetched as much as they could for their drinking, cooking and bathing needs while the weather had been mild.

Mulan looked up from the practice slab she was bent over, becoming aware of Shang the moment he entered the room. Even without his armor, dressed in just a plain tunic and trousers he was an eye-catcher, handsome and distinguished; and he moved with confidence, his posture straight and proud as he strode toward her. He came around to stand behind her and gazed over her shoulder at the characters she was working on.

"You have a fine hand," he remarked softly.

She gestured for him to sit beside her. "I can get you a practice slab and some brushes and ink if you'd like to work on your own calligraphy."

He shook his head and took the seat next to her, continuing to intently study the characters she'd painted. She turned away from him and bent over the slab again, her cheeks flushing warm as she began to feel vulnerable from the way he was scrutinizing her work. It was well-known that the artist's mood at the time that they painted could be easily perceived in the characters they created, and there were many who believed that even more than just the mood could be inferred.

"It's just practice," she offered in explanation of whatever he may have believed that he perceived about her from analyzing the characters she'd drawn.

"Mm-hmm. It's still very good."

"Thank you." She looked up when he made no move but continued to stare at the characters. "Are you sure you don't want to work on your own? It's distracting for me to have you just sitting there watching me."

"Well, actually...whenever you're done practicing, I'd like to talk to you."

She set her brush aside and pushed her seat back. "We can talk now. I'll practice again later."

They stood up and walked to the private study together.

"It's just to pass the time anyway," she added as she slid the door closed behind them. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Taiyuan."

Her eyebrows went up in surprise but she nodded and joined him at the table. She was sad at the thought of leaving her own village and her family again, even if it was for the good of her country as well as her own safety. But if Shang came too it would make it easier; she enjoyed his company and was happy to be in his presence again these past days since he'd come to the school. She would be more than pleased if he made the journey with her.

"You've made a decision then?"

"I just want to talk more."

A serious and somewhat troubled expression had settled across his features and he stared at the surface of the table with a frown. She felt a pang of guilt as she watched him and there was a slight ache in her heart as she brooded about the fact that every time she'd had any involvement with this man whom she cared deeply about she seemed to be deceiving him in one way or another. It was a wonder he was even still willing to look at her, yet alone speak to her.

"When you go with Li Meng-shi, will you still be disguised as Master Jiang's son?"

"I suppose so," she answered. "Although Luo Di's men know to look for me possibly disguised as a man anyway, so I'm not sure if it even matters."

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

She looked up in surprise, feeling her face become warm again as she noticed how intently he was staring into her face. "Nothing."

"Mulan, listen...I understand why you had to resort to the methods you did," he began, as if he'd read her mind. "I was angry that you deceived me, but I realize why you did. And I wasn't just angry at you, or your father; the truth is he saved my life by having Mao watched and by arranging it so Luo Di will be convinced that I'm not a threat. It's everything..." He sighed and he appeared to be struggling for the words. "Everything that's happened...no matter what I do, things seem to just happen around me...my life isn't my own."

"Well, that's how it is for all of us. We're all bound to other people and to what's expected of us, and things are always happening that are beyond our control."

"But...you seem to work around it somehow and turn it to your advantage. I feel like I'm just swept along...I've worked so hard for such a long time to get where I am, to follow in my father's footsteps...I've tried to do everything right, every step of the way, and still Luo Di wanted to kill me..."

"That's not your fault, Shang. He's a madman and he saw you as a threat. It seems like he's killing everyone..."

He sighed and a sad, faraway look came to his eyes as he spoke. "I worked so hard to become a fine general like my father. My whole life I trained hard to be in top physical condition and to be a great warrior. It was my birth right and it was expected of me...and it's what I wanted. I took every one of his lessons about honor and duty to heart, and I've done my best to live by those values and be a good leader. And it doesn't even seem to matter. I'm manipulated so easily and I have no control over anything; instead, everyone has control over me. Your father, everyone..."

"Shang, you're a terrific leader. You're confident and courageous, and you care about your men. It's not that you're easily manipulated; you have a conscience and you're compassionate. That makes you consider all of the possibilities."

That innate compassion that she spoke of was what made him spare her life, she thought to herself; but she didn't mention it. It was old history now and there was no point in dredging it up.

"But that's just it, Mulan...that's what makes me weak...my conscience and compassion..."

"I think it makes you strong," she argued, urgently. It pained her to see him so upset and full of self-doubt, especially when she saw all that was good in him. "I certainly don't think you're weak and neither does my father, Shang. He views you as a talented young man faced with difficult decisions, and he wanted to help guide you. He was once a general to the Emperor too and he knows how difficult it can be. You're the youngest man to ever be given the rank of general..."

"Maybe I was too young," he replied distantly, staring into space still with distant, glazed-over eyes. "Even when my father made me a captain, maybe it was too much too soon..."

"But you did a great job as captain..."

"I don't know about that. It's because you were there that everything turned out alright...you saved my life twice..."

Mulan felt her cheeks grow warm as she became filled with pride at his compliment. "But I wouldn't have been able to do that, to succeed the way I did without your excellent tutelage. I learned many lessons from you."

He blinked and roused himself, focusing his gaze on her now.

"Yes, I taught you how to balance a bucket of water on your head and deflect stones with a staff at the same time."

She began to laugh and his expression lightened a little as he laughed with her.

"More than that. You taught me about honor and doing what's right, too," she told him, becoming serious again. She noted his astonished look and nodded, continuing. "You're a wise leader, and a brave and honorable man; you make good moral choices. It doesn't matter what anyone else does around you, or even what they think. You know that you've done the right thing. That's more important than anything else, Shang. I learned that from you."

Shang looked clearly taken aback. After a few moments he finally spoke.

"How do you do that?" he asked softly.

"Do what?"

But he just shook his head, not answering.

Mulan clasped her hands together in her lap and stared at them, feeling uncomfortable as she wondered what it was she had done. Apparently it was nothing terrible since he was still there talking to her and he didn't look angry.

"You always know exactly the right thing to say to me," he replied finally, staring at her intently again.

"Oh," she answered simply, looking at him in surprise.

She fidgeted, at a loss as to what else to say to that.

"So, what are you going to do?" she asked finally.

"Li Meng-shi is sure that I'm meant to be involved in all of this. Apparently he can tell just by looking at my face," he remarked. He rested his elbow on the table and leaned his cheek against his hand, gazing past her and into space again with a thoughtful frown.

"He's an unusual guy. My father swears by his predictions. He was the spiritual advisor to Wu Di and his talent and insight is genuine."

"I still can't believe that there's been such an uproar over a song that they're singing in taverns, but I understand that it's the meaning of the words that has got everyone so upset. The interpretation."

"The symbolism of this song is very cryptic," Mulan answered with a nod. "I'm not very good with the interpretation, but my father is a follower of the Dao so I was brought up with the teachings..."

"I was too. And I've seen the way people are living everywhere. For about three years I'd been in the Imperial City and I had no idea what was going on. Before I left I was at a dinner that Luo Di gave for his generals. He had decorated the trees in the gardens around the palace because there was a foreign diplomat visiting. I overheard the diplomat ask Luo Di how he had clothing for the trees when the people have no food. The comment really struck me, but I hadn't seen what he was talking about until I left the palace."

"I was in Chang'an for three years, too. But I saw from the inside how Luo Di has been handling his affairs and the affairs of this country. It made me wonder just how everyday people were being affected."

Shang sat up straight, looking resolved.

"I have a good excuse for contacting Li Jing and his son, since my father knew them. That might give Li Meng-shi easier access than if he were to just contact them cold."

"Yes, I agree," she answered quietly, suppressing the small smile that began to come to her lips. He seemed to be contemplating coming to Taiyuan with them, and she wanted to let him make up his own mind without influencing him in any way; however strongly she wanted him to choose to go with them, it had to be his choice.

The door slid open and Hua Zhou entered the room.

"The snow is beginning to let up, Mulan. Make sure that you're ready to go so that as soon as it's possible to travel you can get out of here."

"I'm already packed, Baba. It will just be a matter of saddling up and we can leave immediately. Do we have a horse for Li Meng-shi? Or will he ride with me?"

"We have a horse for him, but he's not a horseman," her father answered with a slight chuckle. "He'll ride with you."

"If you have an extra horse, I'll ride him," Shang offered. "I don't have one anymore, and if I want to be inconspicuous an Imperial stallion won't be a good choice of transportation to Taiyuan anyway."

Mulan couldn't help but smile at his words. Her father suppressed the astonished and pleased expression that flickered briefly across his face.

"Very good, General. I will see that you have supplies to take with you since your things were left at camp. We'll get them ready now."

"Thank you."

Hua Zhou left the room, sliding the door closed behind him, and Shang turned back to Mulan, catching the smile on her face and folding his arms across his chest.

"You knew I was going to decide to come, didn't you?" he demanded playfully, his characteristic lopsided smile in place.

She averted her eyes, feeling her face becoming warm again. "Well, I was hoping you would," she answered softly. "But I didn't want to influence you..."

The next thing he did took her completely by surprise. He reached out and clasped her hand warmly, then lifted it and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly.

xxxxxxx

By early in the night the blizzard had subsided, leaving them surrounded by two feet of snow. They had slept overnight for a few hours at Hua Zhou's instruction, and now in the early morning Mulan and Shang slipped and slid along the poorly cleared path to the stable to load their things on the two largest horses. Li Meng-shi had very little and Mulan packed his things on her own steed.

Shang helped her water and feed all of the horses quickly, then they made their way back toward the school. Fortunately it wasn't cold anymore and with any luck the temperature would remain mild. Her father and Master Jiang were at the front door, watching as some of the students now worked on clearing a path to the front gate so they could lead the horses out.

"The snow is quite deep," Hua Zhou remarked. "It has warmed up and the sun is shining, so hopefully by the time night falls again, some of it will have melted. In any event, it should be hard and easier to walk on in a few hours. It will be quite a difficult journey and you won't cover much ground, but you can get a head start. If you can make your way even to the next village, you will be at least that far ahead of the Imperial troops, and you'll be gone by the time they come back here. General Li, I believe that you had sent scouts to Sui Xian."

Shang nodded.

"A couple of them. My scouts will recognize me if they see me. And they might recognize Mulan too."

"It would be wise for you both to dress like Li Meng-shi so your faces will be covered. If people think you're both monks as well that wouldn't be a bad thing."

At night fall Shang and Mulan donned dark hooded cloaks similar to the one that Li Meng-shi wore and the three of them went back outside. The night was mild and eerily still in the aftermath of the storm as they fetched the horses and led them to the front gate. Li Meng-shi waited at the front gate attended by two students while Mulan went to bid her father goodbye, Shang walking beside her.

Mulan and her father embraced and she silently lamented having to leave him again so soon, as well as the fact that she wasn't able to see her mother and grandmother once more before she left. When she had finished her goodbyes and stepped back Shang moved forward and bowed to Hua Zhou, bidding him farewell and thanking him for saving his life.

Shang and her father exchanged a few words privately that she couldn't hear, then she and Shang moved back to the front gate. He helped Li Meng-shi onto his horse, then mounted in front of him. Mulan sat atop her own steed and glanced back once more at her father who had remained in the doorway, water welling up in her eyes. He waved and smiled reassuringly at her. She set her face into a smile and waved back, then turned away, letting the hood of the cloak obscure her face so no one would see her tears.

xxxxxxx

It took them two weeks to reach the village of Sui Xian, traveling just three to five miles a day before the horses became fatigued. They spent the nights in empty barns, many of them long abandoned by the farmers who could no longer sustain their lands. As the days went on, the snow slowly began to melt and the drifts receded, but the journey remained difficult and treacherous.

They checked into an inn when they arrived in Sui Xian, Shang sharing a room with Li Meng-shi, Mulan taking her own room. There was a school there where their allies were gathered and where Ao-li was staying, but Mulan felt it was better that they didn't go anywhere near that place. No one had bothered them during their journey; few people were out and they appeared to be three monks to anyone they did run into. But in the event that they'd caught someone's eye, like one of Shang's scouts, she didn't want to end up leading them right to their allies' location.

After a good night's rest in Sui Xian, they replenished their supply of food and water and continued northeast to Zhengzhou. Their plan was to stop there to warm up, rest and restock their supplies and then head north from there, circumventing the second capital of Luoyang, which would be swarming with Imperial guards, and moving due north to Taiyuan.

As they drew closer to Zhengzhou Shang found himself wondering more and more about the boy that he'd encountered the first time he was there. When they arrived there his eyes darted around, seeking out the thin, dirty face of the boy among the dour, melancholy faces in the crowds that they passed through. He half-hoped to see him there but knew in his heart that the chances that the boy was even still alive were slim.

Shang found the inn next to the tavern where he'd been daily with General Zhao the last time he'd been in town and they checked in. Then he went out with the excuse of running an errand, walking through the snow-covered streets until he found himself standing before the bakery where the incident had occurred, the boy's face haunting him.

He roused himself finally and sighed, shaking his head and scolding himself inwardly for being so foolish. He turned away then and continued to trudge through the streets aimlessly, slowly drifting back toward the inn.

xxxxxxx

Mulan lowered herself into the basin of hot water with a contented sigh, relaxing as every pore in her skin began to feel clean just from being under water finally. Though they'd had water for bathing at the school they had to use it sparingly, as they often found the water in the well frozen over during the cold winter. That meant hand-washing the body with a wet cloth and cleansing oils and soap but no baths. It felt good to be immersed in hot water after so long and to really be able to wash her hair, which had been feeling greasy and stringy of late.

Lingering for as long as she could after washing, she finally roused herself from the basin as the water became lukewarm and then finally cool. She dried off and dressed again, then retrieved a comb from her pack and ran it through her hair, something else she hadn't been doing too often lately.

Once her hair had dried considerably she moved to the window and glanced out. The streets were crowded and there appeared to be a bustling market nearby. She threw on her cloak and wrote a quick note to Shang and Li Meng-shi which she slid under their door after stepping out of her room. Then she pulled her hood up over her face and headed down to the street and outside.

"Hua Mulan," a gruff and unfamiliar male voice called out sharply as she strode through the snow passed the vendors that were lined up along the street, fires lit beside them to keep them warm.

Her heart skipped a beat and she stopped in her tracks. How had she been recognized, even dressed in the cloak with her face obscured by the hood? She decided to attempt to appear nonchalant, as if she'd stopped for another reason, and glanced over the wares at the stand that she happened to have halted in front of. It took every ounce of self-control she had to not turn around and look for the man who had addressed her. The vendor asked if he could help her and she took the opportunity to look as if she was truly just shopping in the market, engaging him in conversation and attempting to barter with him.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of swirling red material as a man in an Imperial officer's uniform came up to stand beside her, listening as she continued to converse with the vendor. The officer now reached up and yanked the hood of her cloak back. She whirled around to face him, schooling her face into a look of shock, as if she had no idea why an Imperial officer would have any business with her.

"Hua Mulan, you will come with me."

She squinted at him and prepared to put on as good an act as she knew how. "I believe you have me confused with somebody else."

"No I don't. I've seen you at the palace and I would recognize you anywhere, even dressed as and impersonating a man and a soldier."

"You're mistaken, sir," she insisted. "I'm no soldier. I'm a monk."

The officer laughed.

"Like I'm a monk," he sneered sarcastically and seized her arm, beginning to drag her away. She glanced around wildly, looking toward the vendor that she'd been bargaining with for help, but he had already retreated behind his stand, wishing to have nothing to do with any affair involving an Imperial soldier.

"I've been following you and your two friends since you came into town this morning and I recognized you the moment I caught a glimpse of your face, even underneath that hood. And seeing you again now, I was able to distinguish you from your other hooded friends, given how much shorter you are. I'm taking you to the Imperial City where you will receive punishment for your treason, Hua Mulan."

With his other hand he pawed at her topknot, pulling the tie out. She shook her hair out of her face as it cascaded down around it.

She struggled as she was yanked away and continued to turn her head this way and that, looking frantically for someone who might help her; but people either didn't see her or, like the vendor, didn't want to come within ten feet of an officer who was charged with enforcing Luo Di's laws and contributing to their oppressed and difficult lives.

The officer's hand was clasped tightly around her wrist as he pulled her along with him, and something that her father had once told her came back to her, jogged from her memory by the pain that the soldier's hold was inflicting on her forearm. Her wrist was turned downward and it was there where the man's fingers and thumb came together to close his grasp. It was also the weakest part of his grip.

"It's instinct when someone grabs you by the wrist to try to pull your own arm back and away," her father had told her during one of the basic self-defense lessons he had given her. "But it's here that's the weakest part of the grasp."

He had grasped her wrist to demonstrate, pointing out the weak part that he was talking about with his other hand and instructing her to attempt to pull her arm back and away.

"Now," he'd said when she'd failed to pull out of his grasp, "instead, push your arm downward, against the place where my thumb and fingers touch."

Her father had maintained a powerful grip on her wrist. But when she had pushed her arm downward against the place where his fingers and thumb met instead of trying to pull back and away, she succeeded in breaking his hold.

Mulan glanced at the Imperial officer's hand. The top side of it was locked firmly against her forearm, providing the power that was behind his grip; but the place where thumb and fingers met was on the bottom, along her wrist, just as her father had said. The weakest point, the place where the grasp could be easily forced to open. She relaxed for a moment, ceasing to struggle and letting him lead her, then she suddenly pushed her arm downward, succeeding in breaking his hold and snatching her arm away, taking the opportunity of the brief moment of freedom to take off and put distance between herself and him.

He chased her and reached out to seize her, only grasping the material of her cloak. She allowed it to slip off of her body and into his hands, continuing to run away from him. Tossing the cloak away and cursing in disgust he ran and caught up to her again, throwing his arms around her waist and pushing her down into the snow with the weight of his body as he fell. She rolled over quickly, scrambling to get away, emitting a hoarse scream as he moved on top of her, swearing profusely, and pressed his knee into her chest, pinning her to the ground.

"It appears that you prefer to be killed here in the street instead of back at the palace. Very well. I will gladly oblige you and carry just your head back to the Emperor."

He removed his knee from her chest and drew his sword, seizing her arm again with his other hand and pulling her to her feet. With her free hand Mulan reached down and drew her own sword quickly, slashing wildly at his leg. She did very little harm to him, but at least she was able to slip out of his grasp again while he threw a stream of epithets at her in his surprise and fury. Realizing that she wasn't going to escape she took a defensive stance, holding her sword out and preparing to fight, as futile as that was.

Practicing with the students at the school had helped her get somewhat back in shape, but she was still a long way from being in the physical condition she'd been in after her stint at Shang's camp and her sword skills were rusty on top of that. This officer was a master and he overpowered her, his moves quick and sharp, each one made with finesse, each one deadlier than the previous one. She was so pumped up with adrenalin she barely noticed the cut he had made across her stomach and she felt no pain. For a short time she matched him blow for blow despite her fear, but it took every ounce of strength she had and she became tired too quickly. He disarmed her and knocked her backward onto the ground.

"Get up, wench!" he ordered gruffly, pulling her up onto her knees. He dropped his sword and roughly pulled both of her hands behind her back, binding them with a rope that he pulled from somewhere off of his person.

She looked up from where she knelt on the ground as he snatched up his sword again and held it over her; then she bent her head, staring down at the ground that was stained with drops of blood from her wound, waiting for him to bring the blade down across her neck.