Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > The Secret is Out
The sun filtered through the wall-length window, even though it was covered by a curtain. A shy ray hit him gently on the face, causing him to growl in discomfort. He shifted in bed, pulling the covers over his head, giving his back to the friendly sunbeam. But one thing he had –and hated– was that, once awake, he couldn’t go back to sleep.
Snarling, he put the covers aside and sat upright, swinging his feet out of bed and placing them on the cold-tiled floor. He sat thee for several minutes, his hands flat on the mattress; his shoulders low, carrying the invisible weight of loneliness she had left.
He ran his right hand through his long and disheveled hair, and sighed wearily, closing his eyes tightly. But as soon as he had closed them, he snapped them open. Behind his eyes all he could see was her: her smile, her eyes, her hair, her body that, to this day, still drove him crazy.
He didn’t want to remember her any longer, he didn’t want to be thinking about her every second of his life, he wanted the life he had before she jumped in back. He was tired of living off of her memory, off of the memories they had made together, the dreams they had once shared, the life they had built together; a life she had taken away from him when she walked out the door.
With a weary sigh, he stood up and headed towards the bathroom. He stood there, in front of the mirror, drinking in the shabby picture he made. His face was almost unrecognizable: it was a lot thinner. The thick beard had almost covered a good part of his featured and the deep dark bags under his eyes had hidden the once bright blue color of them. His shoulder-length, dark hair had lost its usual glow. It looked untidy and dirty. He looked even older that his 41 years when he usually looked 10 years younger.
He pulled his white t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the tiled floor. His eyes traveled down his naked torso; his ribs were sharp, cutting through the skin; the once strong muscles that adorned his thorax were long gone. He skimmed the tip of his fingers over his ribs and stomach, wondering when he had gotten alarmingly thin.
He shed his remaining clothes and turned on the shower. He let the warm water wash over his weary body, hoping that all of his feelings would go down the drain, too. Leaning his right arm against the wall, his head hanging forward, he let the tears stream down his cheeks, getting quickly lost in the water. And he swore right then that it would be the last time he’d cry for her. And he was willing to fulfill his promise.
“Come on, man. Let’s go to that party.” Shannon exclaimed, trying so hard to motivate his little brother to go to the party they had been invited to. A little distraction would be good for him, he had thought. But Jared was reluctant. He didn’t want to leave the comfort of his house, the torture of his memories. He didn’t want a distraction, he didn’t need a distraction.
“I’ve told you I don’t want to go to that stupid party.” Jared looked at his brother, his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m good here.”
“Are you?” Shannon cocked an eyebrow. “Are you really good here? Aren’t you done torturing yourself already?” His voice sounded desperate and annoyance laced through it.
Jared looked at his brother for a brief moment before turning his gaze away. His words hurt. He didn’t understand what he was going through; nobody understood what he was going through. And he was way too tired to try to explain them all.
“I’m not going, Shannon.” He said determined, not turning his eyes back to his big brother. He hoped that would do and Shannon would give up on the situation, but apparently he didn’t know Shannon as well as he thought.
“I am not taking any of your shit right now.” Shannon stated. “You’re going to that party, Jared, want it or not.”
Jared hadn’t thought that Shannon was going to actually drag him to the club the party was held at. He didn’t think he would, but he did. And there he was, sitting at the farthest corner of the noisy club, alone. The loud music blared around the small club and the strobe lights danced off of people’s skin. It all had provoked a dull headache.
He saw Shannon dancing on the dance floor with two girls wrapped in each of his arms, a cigarette in the right hand and a glass full of alcohol in the left hand. He was already drunk. Jared shook his head and grimaced when a bright light hit him in the face. He was mad and annoyed. He wanted to be at any place but this, especially here where girls didn’t cease to bother him with flirtatious smiles and winks.
The night moved forward and so did he. He had lost sight of Shannon long ago and he was slightly drunk already. Nothing serious though. If he didn’t find Shannon, he could easily drive his way back home.
He had moved from the hidden corner to the bar, where he had gotten drunk in the first place. A girl had placed herself next to him, leaning in against the bar to order a couple of drinks. Jared looked at her. She was much smaller than him; the honey blond hair reached the middle of her back; her tanned skin shone under the strobe lights; her figure was tightly wrapped in a short red dress. Yes, she looked exactly like her, and Jared couldn’t help the erection that was growing behind his zipper.
The woman turned her head in his direction and smiled at him seductively, leaning in a little bit more against the bar.
“Hey, handsome,” she said loudly so her voice could be heard over the music. She approached him, their shoulders rubbing each other.
“Hey.” Jared said, his gaze running all over her body.
“I'm—“
“Wanna go to my place?” Jared interrupted her, going straight to what was important.
The blonde girl smiled widely at him, lust brimming beneath her eyes. And bringing her lips to his ear, she said: “I’d be stupid if I say no, now wouldn’t I?” She licked his lobe, which made him twitch in his jeans. He smiled and, taking her by the hand, they left the noisy club.
Snarling, he put the covers aside and sat upright, swinging his feet out of bed and placing them on the cold-tiled floor. He sat thee for several minutes, his hands flat on the mattress; his shoulders low, carrying the invisible weight of loneliness she had left.
He ran his right hand through his long and disheveled hair, and sighed wearily, closing his eyes tightly. But as soon as he had closed them, he snapped them open. Behind his eyes all he could see was her: her smile, her eyes, her hair, her body that, to this day, still drove him crazy.
He didn’t want to remember her any longer, he didn’t want to be thinking about her every second of his life, he wanted the life he had before she jumped in back. He was tired of living off of her memory, off of the memories they had made together, the dreams they had once shared, the life they had built together; a life she had taken away from him when she walked out the door.
With a weary sigh, he stood up and headed towards the bathroom. He stood there, in front of the mirror, drinking in the shabby picture he made. His face was almost unrecognizable: it was a lot thinner. The thick beard had almost covered a good part of his featured and the deep dark bags under his eyes had hidden the once bright blue color of them. His shoulder-length, dark hair had lost its usual glow. It looked untidy and dirty. He looked even older that his 41 years when he usually looked 10 years younger.
He pulled his white t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the tiled floor. His eyes traveled down his naked torso; his ribs were sharp, cutting through the skin; the once strong muscles that adorned his thorax were long gone. He skimmed the tip of his fingers over his ribs and stomach, wondering when he had gotten alarmingly thin.
He shed his remaining clothes and turned on the shower. He let the warm water wash over his weary body, hoping that all of his feelings would go down the drain, too. Leaning his right arm against the wall, his head hanging forward, he let the tears stream down his cheeks, getting quickly lost in the water. And he swore right then that it would be the last time he’d cry for her. And he was willing to fulfill his promise.
“Come on, man. Let’s go to that party.” Shannon exclaimed, trying so hard to motivate his little brother to go to the party they had been invited to. A little distraction would be good for him, he had thought. But Jared was reluctant. He didn’t want to leave the comfort of his house, the torture of his memories. He didn’t want a distraction, he didn’t need a distraction.
“I’ve told you I don’t want to go to that stupid party.” Jared looked at his brother, his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m good here.”
“Are you?” Shannon cocked an eyebrow. “Are you really good here? Aren’t you done torturing yourself already?” His voice sounded desperate and annoyance laced through it.
Jared looked at his brother for a brief moment before turning his gaze away. His words hurt. He didn’t understand what he was going through; nobody understood what he was going through. And he was way too tired to try to explain them all.
“I’m not going, Shannon.” He said determined, not turning his eyes back to his big brother. He hoped that would do and Shannon would give up on the situation, but apparently he didn’t know Shannon as well as he thought.
“I am not taking any of your shit right now.” Shannon stated. “You’re going to that party, Jared, want it or not.”
Jared hadn’t thought that Shannon was going to actually drag him to the club the party was held at. He didn’t think he would, but he did. And there he was, sitting at the farthest corner of the noisy club, alone. The loud music blared around the small club and the strobe lights danced off of people’s skin. It all had provoked a dull headache.
He saw Shannon dancing on the dance floor with two girls wrapped in each of his arms, a cigarette in the right hand and a glass full of alcohol in the left hand. He was already drunk. Jared shook his head and grimaced when a bright light hit him in the face. He was mad and annoyed. He wanted to be at any place but this, especially here where girls didn’t cease to bother him with flirtatious smiles and winks.
The night moved forward and so did he. He had lost sight of Shannon long ago and he was slightly drunk already. Nothing serious though. If he didn’t find Shannon, he could easily drive his way back home.
He had moved from the hidden corner to the bar, where he had gotten drunk in the first place. A girl had placed herself next to him, leaning in against the bar to order a couple of drinks. Jared looked at her. She was much smaller than him; the honey blond hair reached the middle of her back; her tanned skin shone under the strobe lights; her figure was tightly wrapped in a short red dress. Yes, she looked exactly like her, and Jared couldn’t help the erection that was growing behind his zipper.
The woman turned her head in his direction and smiled at him seductively, leaning in a little bit more against the bar.
“Hey, handsome,” she said loudly so her voice could be heard over the music. She approached him, their shoulders rubbing each other.
“Hey.” Jared said, his gaze running all over her body.
“I'm—“
“Wanna go to my place?” Jared interrupted her, going straight to what was important.
The blonde girl smiled widely at him, lust brimming beneath her eyes. And bringing her lips to his ear, she said: “I’d be stupid if I say no, now wouldn’t I?” She licked his lobe, which made him twitch in his jeans. He smiled and, taking her by the hand, they left the noisy club.
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