FicWad

It was incredible. What was this little woman made of? She’d been going through hell the past two years. I stared. But somehow, she still looked like heaven. She was every bit as beautiful as when I’d first met her. Clear skin, ruby lips, long hair. There was one thing, I noted with a dull pang to my stomach, that was different. The sparkle in her eyes that I had seen just once, backstage years ago, was gone. She sat down beside me and we just stared at one another. There were so many unsaid things between us, and the air was thick with them. So much had changed. It wasn't as if I didn't know what was and had been going on. I slowly took her hand, straightening her slender arm out. My eyes traveled up it. There were no puncture scars, something I was relieved to see, but her white skin was covered in purple bruises. I grasped her hand for a moment before letting it fall back to her side. I heard her sharp intake of breath, like she had been jabbed in the stomach. I met her eyes again, studying them. Ounce of pain? Her beautiful blue eyes were nothing but pain. They were they eyes of a wounded, frightened animal. My stomach twisted, and I felt the sudden, urgent need to hold her, to gather her up to my chest, and keep her there tightly as long as I could. But I didn't. Instead, I felt waves of anger. Anger at him; he had turned her into this. But mostly, I felt angry at myself. Angry for watching it all happen, standing by for years. What had happened to protecting her? What had happened to what I had promised myself on that modeling set so long ago? I clenched my hands. I had broken that promise, and the consequences were written in her eyes. Where had the time gone? It had wasted away, just like me. Somewhere along the lines when I was busy destroying myself, I had let her be destroyed too.
"Talk to me, Erin."
She blinked at me breaking the silence, and took a deep shuddering breath. I had to remind myself of my other promise that I had kept to not go behind Axl’s back, to not invade her in any way. The need to hold her was painful. I had to clench my hands 'til my knuckles were white to not reach out and touch her.
"I just feel so tired. All the time."
"Me too," I told her, but knowing that our causes were completely different. "I guess it comes from wrecking your own body," I laughed hollowly. "At least for me it was my own decision."
I looked at her anxiously, seeking some kind of forgiveness, though knowing she had no idea about my broken promise. But there was none. She just turned her eyes down, looking at her hands in her lap, saying nothing. I tried again.
“Look, Erin, things have got to get better. . .”
She looked up at me. “Sometimes I don’t know, Slash. I don’t know how it’s possible. I’d have to leave L.A. And I’m never doing that.”
I stared, and words came out without thinking. “But Erin, you can’t live like this, live with him forever!”
She just looked at me. “I could.”
I stood up, feeling frustrated. Couldn’t she see what she was doing to herself? I crossed the room in three strides and got out, before I broke another promise.