FicWad

Worthlessly stumbling, hoping for failure,
Forgotten words twist and bend until they sn ap,
I hope you can feel the sensation on your skin,
The blade again, it joins you,
Holds you close, tight, safely,
Tonight, you are safe in the arms of a razor blade,
For what it’s worth, it’s worth holding on,
But tonight, night falls and no one’s around,
And we all,
We all fall down.

Dance, come on and dance,
Spin around in circles,
Dance like the pathetic puppet you’ve become,
A lying marionette,
A dying marionette,
Cut my strings,
Shred my skin,
And let me float away,
Effortlessly into infinite oblivion,
I fall,
I fall down,
Again,
I come crashing,
Crashing down.

I pick myself up and I brush off the dust,
No more hope in my eyes,
Dim lights were extinguished,
And I traced my scars absent-mindedly,
I reached out a hand for the blade,
Shaking limbs withdrew,
And fell down again,
I tied the noose and allowed it to sleep on my lap,
I closed my salty eyes and smiled,
Bittersweet heartbreak and death’s serenade,
Can’t you catch me?
Am I too heavy?
Should be fine;
I haven’t eaten for days,
I’m lonely,
I’m lonely,
But no one here has the capacity to care.

I climb up high,
I jump on down,
I collide with the ground,
World spins around me,
I awaken, shaken,
Gripping bed sheets with shaking fingertips,
I trace the memories of my scarred skin,
I remember, remember it all again,
The time they refused
The times they refused,
Simply ignored,
They pushed me away,
I found company inside of my head,
And longed for a day I could wake up dead,
Hold on,
Like I held on,
No one’s here,
Though I’ve fallen again,
I climb on up,
I carry on,
Brush off the dust,
And
Fake
That
Smile.