FicWad

A/N: This was originally supposed to be a Christmas present for RhiannonLeighBlack, but I never got it finished. So now, it's a birthday present (an early one)! I hope you enjoy this, sis!

“So, what are you doing for Christmas?”

Jon slammed back a whiskey shooter and set the shot glass down in front of him. He wiped his hand across his mouth and replied,

“Nothing. I hate Christmas.”

Tyler Black, also known as Seth Rollins, raised an eyebrow in surprise and mild amusement.

“You hate Christmas? Come on, man, how can you hate Christmas? Why?”

“I just do.” The tone of Jon’s voice made it clear that he wanted the subject to drop. Tyler picked up on the obvious cue and did just that.

“I can’t wait to get back to Davenport. I miss my girl so bad.”

“At least you have a girl to miss,” Jon mumbled. “Mine’s gone.”

No matter what Tyler said, Jon had a response for it. Jon knew that he was being unnecessarily rude to Tyler, and that it wasn’t Tyler’s fault that his girlfriend was gone, but damn it, Jon was in a bad mood, and the last thing he wanted at the moment was Tyler’s optimism and downright cheerfulness. Holidays used to mean something to him, but now that his girlfriend was gone, Jon didn’t care about them. All they represented was a constant reminder of how he’d had everything he’d ever wanted, and now it was gone because he’d fucked it up. He would be going back to Florida in a few days’ time, only this time; his girlfriend wouldn’t be there to greet him with a smile and a kiss, or with his favorite foods prepared for him. His bed would no longer be heated by the warmth of his girlfriend’s body. He didn’t allow his dogs to sleep in his bed, so they wouldn’t be there either. Jon would be spending the holidays all by himself, and he was not looking forward to it. He contemplated stopping by the liquor store when he got home, because the only way he would be able to get through the holidays was be getting obliterated.

“Call her.”

Jon shook his head firmly.

“No. No, I’m not gonna call her. She told me to leave her alone, and I’m gonna.” Jon stared down at the floor. “Why should I even try anymore?”

“Maybe because you love her? Because she still loves you too?” Tyler suggested.

“Believe me, she doesn’t love me anymore. She hates my guts. I think her life would be better if I were dead.”

Tyler’s face went pale.

“Jon…don’t say that, man. You made a mistake.”

“Mistakes,” Jon corrected, emphasizing the plurality. “I fucked everything up, Tyler. You don’t know what I did.”

“It doesn’t matter what you did, you know why? You don’t owe me an explanation. Is this the first fight you’ve had?”

“Pretty much, yeah. Sometimes we argue but it’s nothin’ we couldn’t work out.”

“So why is this so much different?”

“Because.” Jon let out a heavy sigh. “I said things and did things that I can never take back. I can’t turn back the clock; I can’t fix this.”

“You’ll never know unless you try.” Tyler stood up. He extracted a one hundred dollar bill from his pocket and laid it on the table. He nodded at the bartender.

“Don’t let him drink too much.”

The bartender nodded in response, and Tyler exited the room, leaving Jon alone with his thoughts and the beer that he was now nursing.

Maybe Tyler was right and maybe he wasn’t. Jon didn’t know what to do. His girlfriend had made it crystal clear when she left that she was not to be contacted by him, ever. To punctuate her point, she’d changed all of her contact info, and had outright ordered their mutual friends to stay out of the situation. Trying to get back in touch with her was basically hopeless, and even if Jon did have a shot in the dark, he didn’t know what to do with it.

How do you tell the one you love that you’re scared to love her? They had talked about Jon’s fear of commitment many times, and his girlfriend understood exactly where he was coming from. She had been patient, gracious, and understanding, and Jon didn’t know why he was still afraid of taking the next step. He hadn’t cheated on her, thank God—she never would’ve forgiven him for it—but he’d shunned her, even going so far as to going out every night, getting as drunk as he could, and then coming back home in the middle of the night. The first couple of times he’d gotten away with it without much arguing, but his girlfriend finally put her foot down and let Jon know that this was not going to continue. She loved him, and she wanted to help him get clean, but Jon didn’t seem to understand that his girlfriend was trying to help. Or maybe he did, and just didn’t care. It wasn’t like Jon had a very high opinion of himself, anyway. He had been born into trash, and in his opinion, he would always be trash. He was never going to rise above it, not even now that he was in the WWE. Nothing lasted forever, and Jon was just waiting for the inevitable phone call or text message telling him that he was being released.

So, after that ultimatum, Jon’s girlfriend told him she was leaving. She didn’t care if she had to sleep on the side of the road. But she wasn’t working at the moment, and she had nowhere to go, and Jon wasn’t that big of an asshole, so he told her she could stay. He could crash with friends for a while, and after that, he’d get a hotel room. He could afford to; she couldn’t. And then he’d left.

Jon really didn’t want to go back home. He knew how uncomfortable it would be, but he also had a morbid curiosity of seeing his girl again. Would she still be there? He had no idea if she’d left or not, and he’d made a concerted effort not to go home over the past couple of months. He knew that the dogs were okay, because he had a friend checking on them and making sure that they were fed and warm.

But he could avoid his home no longer. He was tired, and cold, and he missed his own bed. Jon sucked in a deep breath as he approached the front door. As expected, once he stepped in, the house was quiet. There was no noise at all, not even the scratching of his dogs, which Jon was usually greeted with when he arrived home. He threw his bags down on the floor, because he just couldn’t be bothered with taking them to his bedroom, and collapsed on the couch.

Jon tried to sleep, but he couldn’t. He wandered into the kitchen and peered into the cabinets, but could not find anything to satisfy his appetite. That was another thing he was going to miss about his girlfriend: her cooking. She was always cooking for Jon, just because she could. Jon had absolutely no culinary talent whatsoever. Before her he’d eaten takeout and fast food.

“I’m an idiot,” he mumbled to himself. How could he have screwed up the only thing he had going for him? Some would argue that the end of a relationship meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, because Jon was a WWE superstar, but none of that mattered to him if he didn’t have someone to share it with. The humorous part of this situation was that Jon had spent the majority of his adult life swearing up and down that he didn’t want a relationship. Once he had been introduced to his lady, however, everything changed. Jon realized that he had been a fool to think that he was perfectly happy on his own.

Jon felt a cold nose nudging his leg, and he looked down in surprise to see his German Shepherd, Kassius, standing there. He bent down and rubbed the dog’s head, paying careful attention to his dog’s ears.

“Hey, old man,” Jon greeted. Kassius snarled in response; he did not like it when Jon called him that. Jon tried to pet Kassius again, but this time, the dog stepped back, all bared teeth and fanned ears. Jon was pretty sure that, if his dog could speak, he would be cussing Jon out. At the moment, Kassius was walking back toward the bedroom, almost motioning for Jon to follow. So he did.

Upon arriving, Jon was greeted with a sight that he didn’t think he would ever get the chance to see again: the love of his life, the woman whose heart he had broken, lying in his bed. She was lying face down, as she always did, tangled up in the burgundy sheets that she had bought when they’d moved in together. Her dark hair framed her face, making her look even more angelic than Jon already thought she was, and he desperately wanted to go to her and touch her. He wanted to gather her in his arms and kiss her passionately for hours, pouring every drop of love that he had for her into his kisses. Kassius hopped onto the bed and snuggled up to his momma, and when Jon tried to touch her, Kassius glared at him and snarled. He was not going to make this easy for Jon.

“C’mon, boy,” Jon whispered. “I’m not gonna hurt her.” Tentatively, he reached out and slowly stroked his girlfriend’s cheek. Upon feeling the tears there, he frowned. He had never meant to make her cry, and knowing that he’d done so felt like a knife to the heart. Jon sighed and, slowly, leaned in to kiss the tears away gently. His girlfriend stirred, but didn’t open her eyes. At first Jon didn’t even know if she knew he was there, until he felt her fingers close around his own.

“Jonny,” she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. Jon blushed at the use of her pet name for him, even though she couldn’t see, and smiled.

“Yeah, beautiful. It’s me. I’m here.”

For a second, Jon thought that his girlfriend might kick him out of bed, or start yelling at him, but she didn’t. She tried to pull him closer as she mumbled again.

“Hold me. Please.”

Jon sighed in relief, so happy that he could cry at that moment, He gently pushed the covers back and slid underneath them. His strong arms pulled his lover closer, and he gently placed a kiss to the top of her head. Tomorrow would hopefully bring answers and clarity to a situation that he felt had gotten way out of hand. Jon wasn’t expecting to be forgiven, but hopefully it would be a start to the road to redemption. Maybe it would be his Christmas present. He was willing to do anything that she wanted to make things right; if that meant rehab, he would do it. Anything to keep her in his arms, like she was right now.