Categories > Original > Drama > Misfortune and Gold
Chapter 44: The Light
May 25, 2010
Los Angeles, California
D stepped up to a podium as people screamed her name and cameras flashed blinding her. Havoc had come down her hard threatening to sue her for more than she had if she didnt do a press conference to tell the wold she and Seth had had a thing and she was pregnant with his child. In addition she was legally bound to return once the baby came. Just as they owned Seth, they owned her too.
D had decided that her love for Seth had been the single most important thing that had ever happened to her. She knew he was the love of her life. It would be impossible for her to ever feel this strongly for another person. She loved him enough to stand by him and help him learn and grow into the man she knew he could be. Their child deserved to know how wonderful he was. He had said he wanted the baby. He deserved the chance to try to prove that.
She cleared her throat and pulled the mic to her mouth. "Im here today to put an end to all the rumors about myself and Seth Chandler. We havent been honest to our fans. We are in love. Yes, Im pregnant, Yes the baby is his. I disappeared from europe because of emotional issues. It was the wrong way to handle things. I should have been honest. After the baby is born I have every intention of rejoining Faithless on the road...so...any questions?"
May 27, 2010
Athens, Greece
Seth could hear the chanting from the audience back stage in his dressing room. He stared blankly at his reflection in the mirror. The intense combination of Dexedrine and heroin had left him feeling tranced. He almost felt as if he were standing outside himself. His body felt like a rotting shell. He was numb to everything but D and the baby, the two things he tried his best to be numb of. He reached out and rested his weight on the palms of his hands on the mirror. His gaze fell to the floor. D was never coming back. If she were she would have done it by now. Not even 'You Tonight' had brought her back. His eyes fell on the bandage on his left wrist. He was fighting an infection in it due to the amount of sweat each night. e pushed with his weight off the mirror and began pacing and chewing his fingernails.
His eyes scanned the room until his eyes fell on the heroin and pills.He walked over to the table and picked up 10 Dexedrine. He threw them in his mouth and washed them down with a huge gulp of Jack. He ran his hand through his hair looking at that heroin calling his name. He opened the balloon and poured a massive amount into the spoon, almost a spoon full. He grabbed a plastic lemon of lemon juice and preped a fix.
He found a good spot and stuck the needle into his vein. There was enough heroin in that spoon to last him an entire day. It was enough to kill him, but he just didnt care. In fact, he was kind of banking on it. He was tired of trying and always failing. There was nothing here for him anymore. D had been the only true highlight to his existence. Thousands of people screaming his name was a highlight too, but nothing like falling in love with D. As he pushed the plunger down he hesitated a split second to re think. He then injected the entire mixture. His head immediately began drooping over.
It was some time later that he heard someone calling his name through the door. "Seth!" He heard as knocking followed. "Lets go man! Show time. Gotta go swimming."
He knew it was Brian but his voice sounded so distant and echoey in his ears. Seth slowly struggled to reach for the door. Every part of him felt hot and numb. That was one massive dose he took. Why hadnt it killed him? He made it to his knees and unlocked the door.
Briam was standing there wiyj an impatient look on his face. From one glance he could see how high he was. "Dude! We cant call off another show for this shit!" He yelled.
Seth forced his head up, but couldnt manage to open his eyes. "You's got some coke dawg?" He asked. Maybe a bunch of coke would do him in.
Brian sighed and rolled his eyes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out about a gram.
"You's gots ta help me bang it dawg," Seth fought to say.
"No fuckin way dude!"
"Youuuu'sss want disss show ta go down?" Seth slurred.
"I dont fucking know how to do that shit!"
"Mmmm...easy..."
"I think I should just go get Doc."
"No...no doc," Seth shook his head not wanting the drugs to sober him and save him. "Please dawg...I's too fucked up ta do it..."
"W...What do I do?" Brian jesitantly asked with much apprehension.
"Jus mix it up dawg...ya's aint gots ta cook it..."
"How much?" Brian asked.
"Bout two fat rails," Seth said softly. That should be enough to mingle with the heroin and explode what was left of his heart.
Brian drew up the coke, "Now what?"
"Do it," seth said holding his arm out to him limply.
Brian began to stick the needle in a vein in his forearm.
"Gots ta go in at a angle dawg." Mumbled Seth.
Brian did so. He pushed the needle inward.
"Stops when ya's see blood..."
Brian did just that.
"Now...slowly..." Seth began nodding off.
Brian injected Seth and watched as he slowly came to. Brian looked him over slowly. "Welcome back. You think we can go do this show now?"
"Always da fuckin stage wit you's," Seth spoke clearly with a sigh and looked down.
He didnt look good at all. His eyes were blood shot. His lips were pale. His skin was nearing white with the look of death and a glisten of sweat. He felt hot. He rose to his feet and started for the stage. Sweat was forming on him. He was kind of pissed off that someone had saved him again.
He walked out onto the stage in the darkness and took his place behind the mic in the center of it. He felt disconnected from reality. His eyes scanned over the sea of heads, cheering, clapping, and screaming his name. He remembered when all of this made him so happy. Without D it felt like nothing. Without her everything had lost its flavor and pizzaz. He just didnt want to do it without her anymore.
His thoughts went to D as the crowd began chanting 'You Tonight You Tonight You Tonight.' He licked his dry lips. He was tired of hurting. He was tired of touring. He was tired of trying. He wanted to just overdose and die. He wanted to find that peaceful openness that stretched out forever, the place he found when he was 13.
Javier noticing how sweaty he was brought him a towel. He wondered if he was ok. He had never seen him look so awful. "Have a good show homes," he said as he turned to leave.
"Hey dawg," Seth spoke, "Teni a muchas ganas de una familia." 'I really wanted a family.'
Javier nodded, "I know you did homes."
Brians guitar started up the soft melody of 'You Tonight' as Martin played a piano intro.
Seth wiped the sweat from his face and stuffed the towel in his back pocket. He reached for the mic holding onto it with both hands for dear life. His words came out in a soft whisper. "When you left the door did slam...you told me you didnt give a damn...I let you go and I did not try...now I feel like Im gonna die..."
The rest of the band joined in as Seth wiped more sweat from his forehead. He was so hot. "I just fell in love with you tonight...I knew it..." he paused wiping away still more sweat. His own voice echoed in his ears. He tried to pick back up his place in the song. "...pulled you close..." He paused again staring out into the audience which was starting to fuzz over white.
Brian and Martin looked fearfully to one another. What was happening? Sweat was pouring off him so bad he looked like he just came in out of the rain. He looked as if he had done a 3 hour set. He seemed to be lost in the lyrics to the song. The look on his face expressed confusion.
Seth's hands slipped off the microphone. Something was wrong. He didnt feel right. His legs trembled and it was so damn hot in there. Things were starting to hold any meaning or make sense. Was this it Was he dying? Moments later his hazy white vision began fading to grey, then pitch black. His head fell forward, soon followed by his entire body. He went down, face first to the stage floor, motionless.
The guys quickly stopped playing as the fans began screaming in panic. Brian and Martin rushed to Seth trying to wake him up but couldnt. Seconds later Dr. Gibbons was there. The stadium fell under a spell of chaos. Papparazzi flooded the stage trying to get shots of Seth laying there. The crowd was starting to take over their security.
"Call an ambulance!" Dr. Gibbons yelled as he climbed on top of Seth and began doing chest compressions. "I need everybody to back up!"
"Is he dead?" Brian asked in dismay, he had certainly never looked more dead.
May 27, 2010
Los Angeles, California
Back in LA D started to prepare herself for facing Seth again. It was time to let him know she wanted to give this thing a shot with him. Step one was to call Jennifer. She dialed her number and Jennifer answered with a panic stricken voice.
"D! D somethings happened to Seth!"
D's heart sank, "What happen?"
"He was on the stage and he just collapsed! I rode with him to the hospital On the way I was holding his hand. He started jerking all over...I think he had a seziure. I tried to hold onto his hand but it hurt so much I had to let go...then he just stopped moving. The EMS start screaming something and push me out of the way and start doing CPR! I think his heart stopped! They have him in the ER but they wont tell me anything! His lips were so blue!"
"Was it drugs?" D asked.
"Yes," Jennifer said, "Since you left he has been doing heroin again, plus everything else he can get his hands on. He had a near overdose a few weeks ago...a few days ago he slashed open his wrist! Why didnt you just call him D? He waited and waited to hear from you. He wrote that beautiful song...but you never answered. He thought he had no chance so he just gave up! And now..."
"What song?" D asked.
"You tonight...its number one!"
"Where is he Im getting on a plane," D said scurrying for her suitcase.
"Athens."
"Just dont leave him. *m on my way," she said hanging up.
Hours later D boarded a plane. She grabbed the headphones hoping to hear this song. Soon she heard. "Up next we have the number one from Faithless..." She patiently waited for the commercials to go off. Then she heard Brians guitar playing softly and what had to be Martin on the piano. Then she heard Seth's sweet whisper filling her ears.
"When you left the door did slam.
You told me you didnt give a damn.
I let you go and I did not try.
Now I feel like Im gonna die."
Then she heard him sing softly. She could almost hear the tears in his voice.
"I just fell in love with you tonight.
I knew it all along but it never seemed right.
I pulled you close, I pushed you away.
How can I get you to come back today?"
A tear fell from D's eye. He was confessing his love for the whole world to hear. Why had she avoided him so long?
"All alone, sorry for what I've done.
In the beginning it was so much fun.
Lying in bed Id watch you sleep..."
His voice took on a slight growl.
"My emotions would run so Beeping deep."
D listened to the edited curse word. Then Seth's voice turned into a beautiful clear ballad voice.
"I just fell in love with you tonight.
I knew it all along but it dodnt seem right.
I pulled you close, I threw you away.
How can I ever get you back someday?"
Then his voice turned back into a soft whisper as the music from the guys grew more intense.
"I listen to the message on your voice mail.
All that it says is to go to hell.
* know that its meant for me.
I hate myself for what Ive come to be."
D wiped the tears from her eyes. Seth was so good at emphasizing songs so you felt their honesty. Then he belted out the chorus once more.
"I just fell in love with you tonight.
Knew it all along and it never seemed right.
I pulled you close, I pushed you so far away.
Please come back to me baby and stay."
May 25, 2010
Los Angeles, California
D stepped up to a podium as people screamed her name and cameras flashed blinding her. Havoc had come down her hard threatening to sue her for more than she had if she didnt do a press conference to tell the wold she and Seth had had a thing and she was pregnant with his child. In addition she was legally bound to return once the baby came. Just as they owned Seth, they owned her too.
D had decided that her love for Seth had been the single most important thing that had ever happened to her. She knew he was the love of her life. It would be impossible for her to ever feel this strongly for another person. She loved him enough to stand by him and help him learn and grow into the man she knew he could be. Their child deserved to know how wonderful he was. He had said he wanted the baby. He deserved the chance to try to prove that.
She cleared her throat and pulled the mic to her mouth. "Im here today to put an end to all the rumors about myself and Seth Chandler. We havent been honest to our fans. We are in love. Yes, Im pregnant, Yes the baby is his. I disappeared from europe because of emotional issues. It was the wrong way to handle things. I should have been honest. After the baby is born I have every intention of rejoining Faithless on the road...so...any questions?"
May 27, 2010
Athens, Greece
Seth could hear the chanting from the audience back stage in his dressing room. He stared blankly at his reflection in the mirror. The intense combination of Dexedrine and heroin had left him feeling tranced. He almost felt as if he were standing outside himself. His body felt like a rotting shell. He was numb to everything but D and the baby, the two things he tried his best to be numb of. He reached out and rested his weight on the palms of his hands on the mirror. His gaze fell to the floor. D was never coming back. If she were she would have done it by now. Not even 'You Tonight' had brought her back. His eyes fell on the bandage on his left wrist. He was fighting an infection in it due to the amount of sweat each night. e pushed with his weight off the mirror and began pacing and chewing his fingernails.
His eyes scanned the room until his eyes fell on the heroin and pills.He walked over to the table and picked up 10 Dexedrine. He threw them in his mouth and washed them down with a huge gulp of Jack. He ran his hand through his hair looking at that heroin calling his name. He opened the balloon and poured a massive amount into the spoon, almost a spoon full. He grabbed a plastic lemon of lemon juice and preped a fix.
He found a good spot and stuck the needle into his vein. There was enough heroin in that spoon to last him an entire day. It was enough to kill him, but he just didnt care. In fact, he was kind of banking on it. He was tired of trying and always failing. There was nothing here for him anymore. D had been the only true highlight to his existence. Thousands of people screaming his name was a highlight too, but nothing like falling in love with D. As he pushed the plunger down he hesitated a split second to re think. He then injected the entire mixture. His head immediately began drooping over.
It was some time later that he heard someone calling his name through the door. "Seth!" He heard as knocking followed. "Lets go man! Show time. Gotta go swimming."
He knew it was Brian but his voice sounded so distant and echoey in his ears. Seth slowly struggled to reach for the door. Every part of him felt hot and numb. That was one massive dose he took. Why hadnt it killed him? He made it to his knees and unlocked the door.
Briam was standing there wiyj an impatient look on his face. From one glance he could see how high he was. "Dude! We cant call off another show for this shit!" He yelled.
Seth forced his head up, but couldnt manage to open his eyes. "You's got some coke dawg?" He asked. Maybe a bunch of coke would do him in.
Brian sighed and rolled his eyes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out about a gram.
"You's gots ta help me bang it dawg," Seth fought to say.
"No fuckin way dude!"
"Youuuu'sss want disss show ta go down?" Seth slurred.
"I dont fucking know how to do that shit!"
"Mmmm...easy..."
"I think I should just go get Doc."
"No...no doc," Seth shook his head not wanting the drugs to sober him and save him. "Please dawg...I's too fucked up ta do it..."
"W...What do I do?" Brian jesitantly asked with much apprehension.
"Jus mix it up dawg...ya's aint gots ta cook it..."
"How much?" Brian asked.
"Bout two fat rails," Seth said softly. That should be enough to mingle with the heroin and explode what was left of his heart.
Brian drew up the coke, "Now what?"
"Do it," seth said holding his arm out to him limply.
Brian began to stick the needle in a vein in his forearm.
"Gots ta go in at a angle dawg." Mumbled Seth.
Brian did so. He pushed the needle inward.
"Stops when ya's see blood..."
Brian did just that.
"Now...slowly..." Seth began nodding off.
Brian injected Seth and watched as he slowly came to. Brian looked him over slowly. "Welcome back. You think we can go do this show now?"
"Always da fuckin stage wit you's," Seth spoke clearly with a sigh and looked down.
He didnt look good at all. His eyes were blood shot. His lips were pale. His skin was nearing white with the look of death and a glisten of sweat. He felt hot. He rose to his feet and started for the stage. Sweat was forming on him. He was kind of pissed off that someone had saved him again.
He walked out onto the stage in the darkness and took his place behind the mic in the center of it. He felt disconnected from reality. His eyes scanned over the sea of heads, cheering, clapping, and screaming his name. He remembered when all of this made him so happy. Without D it felt like nothing. Without her everything had lost its flavor and pizzaz. He just didnt want to do it without her anymore.
His thoughts went to D as the crowd began chanting 'You Tonight You Tonight You Tonight.' He licked his dry lips. He was tired of hurting. He was tired of touring. He was tired of trying. He wanted to just overdose and die. He wanted to find that peaceful openness that stretched out forever, the place he found when he was 13.
Javier noticing how sweaty he was brought him a towel. He wondered if he was ok. He had never seen him look so awful. "Have a good show homes," he said as he turned to leave.
"Hey dawg," Seth spoke, "Teni a muchas ganas de una familia." 'I really wanted a family.'
Javier nodded, "I know you did homes."
Brians guitar started up the soft melody of 'You Tonight' as Martin played a piano intro.
Seth wiped the sweat from his face and stuffed the towel in his back pocket. He reached for the mic holding onto it with both hands for dear life. His words came out in a soft whisper. "When you left the door did slam...you told me you didnt give a damn...I let you go and I did not try...now I feel like Im gonna die..."
The rest of the band joined in as Seth wiped more sweat from his forehead. He was so hot. "I just fell in love with you tonight...I knew it..." he paused wiping away still more sweat. His own voice echoed in his ears. He tried to pick back up his place in the song. "...pulled you close..." He paused again staring out into the audience which was starting to fuzz over white.
Brian and Martin looked fearfully to one another. What was happening? Sweat was pouring off him so bad he looked like he just came in out of the rain. He looked as if he had done a 3 hour set. He seemed to be lost in the lyrics to the song. The look on his face expressed confusion.
Seth's hands slipped off the microphone. Something was wrong. He didnt feel right. His legs trembled and it was so damn hot in there. Things were starting to hold any meaning or make sense. Was this it Was he dying? Moments later his hazy white vision began fading to grey, then pitch black. His head fell forward, soon followed by his entire body. He went down, face first to the stage floor, motionless.
The guys quickly stopped playing as the fans began screaming in panic. Brian and Martin rushed to Seth trying to wake him up but couldnt. Seconds later Dr. Gibbons was there. The stadium fell under a spell of chaos. Papparazzi flooded the stage trying to get shots of Seth laying there. The crowd was starting to take over their security.
"Call an ambulance!" Dr. Gibbons yelled as he climbed on top of Seth and began doing chest compressions. "I need everybody to back up!"
"Is he dead?" Brian asked in dismay, he had certainly never looked more dead.
May 27, 2010
Los Angeles, California
Back in LA D started to prepare herself for facing Seth again. It was time to let him know she wanted to give this thing a shot with him. Step one was to call Jennifer. She dialed her number and Jennifer answered with a panic stricken voice.
"D! D somethings happened to Seth!"
D's heart sank, "What happen?"
"He was on the stage and he just collapsed! I rode with him to the hospital On the way I was holding his hand. He started jerking all over...I think he had a seziure. I tried to hold onto his hand but it hurt so much I had to let go...then he just stopped moving. The EMS start screaming something and push me out of the way and start doing CPR! I think his heart stopped! They have him in the ER but they wont tell me anything! His lips were so blue!"
"Was it drugs?" D asked.
"Yes," Jennifer said, "Since you left he has been doing heroin again, plus everything else he can get his hands on. He had a near overdose a few weeks ago...a few days ago he slashed open his wrist! Why didnt you just call him D? He waited and waited to hear from you. He wrote that beautiful song...but you never answered. He thought he had no chance so he just gave up! And now..."
"What song?" D asked.
"You tonight...its number one!"
"Where is he Im getting on a plane," D said scurrying for her suitcase.
"Athens."
"Just dont leave him. *m on my way," she said hanging up.
Hours later D boarded a plane. She grabbed the headphones hoping to hear this song. Soon she heard. "Up next we have the number one from Faithless..." She patiently waited for the commercials to go off. Then she heard Brians guitar playing softly and what had to be Martin on the piano. Then she heard Seth's sweet whisper filling her ears.
"When you left the door did slam.
You told me you didnt give a damn.
I let you go and I did not try.
Now I feel like Im gonna die."
Then she heard him sing softly. She could almost hear the tears in his voice.
"I just fell in love with you tonight.
I knew it all along but it never seemed right.
I pulled you close, I pushed you away.
How can I get you to come back today?"
A tear fell from D's eye. He was confessing his love for the whole world to hear. Why had she avoided him so long?
"All alone, sorry for what I've done.
In the beginning it was so much fun.
Lying in bed Id watch you sleep..."
His voice took on a slight growl.
"My emotions would run so Beeping deep."
D listened to the edited curse word. Then Seth's voice turned into a beautiful clear ballad voice.
"I just fell in love with you tonight.
I knew it all along but it dodnt seem right.
I pulled you close, I threw you away.
How can I ever get you back someday?"
Then his voice turned back into a soft whisper as the music from the guys grew more intense.
"I listen to the message on your voice mail.
All that it says is to go to hell.
* know that its meant for me.
I hate myself for what Ive come to be."
D wiped the tears from her eyes. Seth was so good at emphasizing songs so you felt their honesty. Then he belted out the chorus once more.
"I just fell in love with you tonight.
Knew it all along and it never seemed right.
I pulled you close, I pushed you so far away.
Please come back to me baby and stay."
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