Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Demolition Lovers
It's Just the Hardest Part of Living
1 reviewGerard is a cartoon artist working in New York, but that's only what he does during the day. At night is when the male becomes alive, getting drunk and passing out with his friends. He meets a per...
2Exciting
Gerard
There comes a point in a person’s life when you stop asking questions, when you stop wondering where it all went wrong. You don’t wonder at what point in life you stopped living. It doesn’t matter what turned your life into such a mess and your mess of a life doesn’t even bother you anymore. Even if you are on a downward spiral, it doesn’t matter. You don’t even realize it anymore. You just accept it and live with it. You carry on day after day as if everything is fine and at night you kill your sorrows like other creatures of the night.
[//]
“Jug! Jug! Jug!” my friends and half of the bar cheered as I downed mug after mug of beer. It was like a competition. My previous record was, I couldn’t quite remember, but I was aiming to beat whatever it was.
The bar was packed as usual and reeked of sweat, beer and cigarette smoke, but who didn’t love the familiar mix of scents. This was where we all came to escape reality. This was freedom or at least as free as we’ll ever get from our lives as they were, be it good or bad.
My friends and I drank gallons of beer a night not including the several shots of tequila and vodka or whatever else we drank. Naturally it wasn’t healthy at all, but who cared. We were having a blast and enjoying life, none of us even thinking about the hang-over we’ll be suffering the next morning or the fact that we all have work the next day. Life always carried on the next day, but tonight…Tonight was all ours. Every night was.
I picked up another mug of beer and soon it too was empty.
Everyone’s cheers grew louder and louder. “Jug! Jug! Jug!” I was the main event or at least the main attraction for the time being. It was like that night after night. Whoever attempted to beat the record would be the center of attention. It was actually a really sad game…who was the biggest alcoholic?
I came halfway with the last mug before stopping and spluttering for air. All the beer was making me feel sick already and I felt slightly lightheaded. However, the sound of the bar erupting into cheers made me forget all that and I grinned proudly. Bert lifted my arm high in the air announcing my victory.
“This is my best friend! Proud of you man!” Then he laughed, “I’ll have to practice to keep up with you.”
“You’ll never keep up!” Joe, another one of my friends, said. “You couldn’t even keep up with yourself tonight.”
“I was…” Bert started.
“Excuses, excuses.” It was a joke, of course, and I rolled my eyes while saying it. Bert knew I was kidding and didn’t hold it against me. That was what was great about my friends. We could hate each other one minute and then be best friends again the next. We knew each other’s flaws and accepted them.
Bert laughed and pushed me away, “You just watch, one day you’ll bow to me. Man, what a night that’ll be. Too bad I’m not an alcoholic.”
People pointing it out was never a pleasant experience, because I was in fact an alcoholic. I knew it, but since it was my way of dealing with life and all its complications, I didn’t plan on doing anything about it. Besides, Bert could joke about it as much as he wanted to and even try to deny it, but he was as much of an alcoholic as I was and a drug addict at that.
Joe and I looked at each other, clearly not taking Bert’s words seriously, before cracking up.
“Fuck you guys!” Bert scowled, walking away annoyed.
“He’s pissed now,” Joe noted still grinning like a madman.
“He’ll get over it. His ego is just a bit scorched,” I laughed it off.
“Ouch,” he laughed and turned to Jerry, the barman. “Can we have a couple of shots here?”
Somewhere else in the bar another crowd was cheering. I scanned over the room and noticed a small crowd gathered around a table in one of the corners way at the back. I smiled and turned back to the bar. This life couldn’t have any dull moments.
From the corner of my eye I noticed someone sitting at the far end of the bar. It was a young girl who sat alone, drinking by herself. She looked lost or miserable or… She looked like me… surrounded by a bunch of people, but still alone.
It was heartbreaking how the world could reject even the most beautiful people at such an early point in life. People with so much talent never got any opportunities or chances in life. Sometimes you reach a point when it seemed that even life rejected you. When you reached that point you couldn’t help but ask, “Why even bother anymore?”
People only noticed you, but never really saw you. No one ever saw how broken some people were and if they did they chose to turn a blind eye and look the other way, pretending not to. It was cruel. It was the reason so many people decided to end their own lives nowadays, because no one saw the pain lying just beneath the brightest smile or the tears threatening to fall from the most sparkling eyes. No one saw.
People pretended to care. They made empty promises of always being there and yet when you needed them the most, they were nowhere to be found. There was always something more important to worry about, something else to do. Why in the hell would you think that they would actually take time from their busy schedules to save your life? No… that was simply too much to ask.
I could only picture the grimace on my face. These negative thoughts always had a way of creeping up on me. Then again, lately it seemed that they were always just there, plaguing my mind and dragging me down. It was just another punch life threw at me, another beating I took, always never ending. It wasn’t something I could run or hide from. It didn’t matter though, because I was still here and that was not going to change. I wasn’t going down without a fight.
“To your new record,” Joe said next to me holding up a shot glass and pulling me from my thoughts.
I picked up mine and threw the bitter alcohol down my throat in an attempt to forget. The liquid burned all the way down, but I loved it. It always worked, always expelling the depressing thoughts and picking you up off the ground.
“Come on! I have one for you,” Bert said, rejoining us. “Nic, pour the two of us a couple of shots each. If you see that we’re still going and the shots are getting low, pour us some more.”
The barman nodded and started to put out the glasses.
I smiled at Bert, “You think you can win?”
“Of course I can. I’m a man. Why don’t you just stick with your sissy drinks?”
“What?” I gaped surprised.
“I’m saying that if you’re not up to the challenge you can just say so,” he said shortly, turning away from me and facing the bar.
“I accept.” Of course I did. This was a matter of pride if nothing else. We grinned at each other.
Bert and I had the strangest friendship. Sometimes we could be inseparable, but then there were days when we annoyed the hell out of each other. There were days when I felt like strangling the greasy haired male. The next day I would usually be glad that I didn’t.
“You’re insane,” Joe stated definitely, “You’ll kill yourselves.”
We simply laughed it off, because of course we could handle this. Even if we couldn’t, there was enough alcohol in both our systems to make us believe that we could. No one was going to tell us otherwise.
“We’ll be fine,” Bert assured him with a wave of his hand.
A crowd slowly gathered around us in anticipation. We probably knew everyone in the room and they knew that my group of friends always put on a good show.
“Looks like I’m just in time,” Shawn exclaimed once he pushed through the crowd.
Shawn had shaggy blonde hair and was my best friend next to Bert. He was probably the furthest from being an alcoholic of all of us. Sure he enjoyed going out and getting drunk with us, but most of the times he was just along for the ride.
“Where were you?” Joe wanted to know, lining drinks up in front of us and stealing one for himself.
“Yeah, we thought you weren’t coming,” I added, happy to see him.
“And miss this? Not a snowball’s hope in hell,” he laughed with one of his arms resting across my shoulders.
“You ready?” the barman asked still holding the bottle of alcohol in his hand, ready to refill our shot glasses as we went.
Bert and I both nodded.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Shawn asked smiling.
“I was born ready.”
“Woo!” he shouted already motivating me.
Bert and I sat down. We glanced at each other before looking down at the shots in front of us.
“Ready. Set. GO!” Someone yelled.
Instantly we started throwing the shots down our throats. The liquid was bitter and really potent. Soon my insides felt like they were on fire, but I wasn’t stopping.
Everyone around us was cheering. “Go! Go! GO!”
Jerry did his job and kept the shots coming, but the more sensible part of me was wishing that he would stop, telling me that I should stop. I started to feel dizzy and everything began to blur. Next to me Bert broke into a fit of serious coughs. The crowd went wild: I won. I got up, slightly off balance and smiled triumphantly. My gaze turned to Bert who was still coughing and spluttering for air. I saw the worried looks on my friends’ faces, but before I could do anything, I crashed to the ground and everything went black.
There comes a point in a person’s life when you stop asking questions, when you stop wondering where it all went wrong. You don’t wonder at what point in life you stopped living. It doesn’t matter what turned your life into such a mess and your mess of a life doesn’t even bother you anymore. Even if you are on a downward spiral, it doesn’t matter. You don’t even realize it anymore. You just accept it and live with it. You carry on day after day as if everything is fine and at night you kill your sorrows like other creatures of the night.
[//]
“Jug! Jug! Jug!” my friends and half of the bar cheered as I downed mug after mug of beer. It was like a competition. My previous record was, I couldn’t quite remember, but I was aiming to beat whatever it was.
The bar was packed as usual and reeked of sweat, beer and cigarette smoke, but who didn’t love the familiar mix of scents. This was where we all came to escape reality. This was freedom or at least as free as we’ll ever get from our lives as they were, be it good or bad.
My friends and I drank gallons of beer a night not including the several shots of tequila and vodka or whatever else we drank. Naturally it wasn’t healthy at all, but who cared. We were having a blast and enjoying life, none of us even thinking about the hang-over we’ll be suffering the next morning or the fact that we all have work the next day. Life always carried on the next day, but tonight…Tonight was all ours. Every night was.
I picked up another mug of beer and soon it too was empty.
Everyone’s cheers grew louder and louder. “Jug! Jug! Jug!” I was the main event or at least the main attraction for the time being. It was like that night after night. Whoever attempted to beat the record would be the center of attention. It was actually a really sad game…who was the biggest alcoholic?
I came halfway with the last mug before stopping and spluttering for air. All the beer was making me feel sick already and I felt slightly lightheaded. However, the sound of the bar erupting into cheers made me forget all that and I grinned proudly. Bert lifted my arm high in the air announcing my victory.
“This is my best friend! Proud of you man!” Then he laughed, “I’ll have to practice to keep up with you.”
“You’ll never keep up!” Joe, another one of my friends, said. “You couldn’t even keep up with yourself tonight.”
“I was…” Bert started.
“Excuses, excuses.” It was a joke, of course, and I rolled my eyes while saying it. Bert knew I was kidding and didn’t hold it against me. That was what was great about my friends. We could hate each other one minute and then be best friends again the next. We knew each other’s flaws and accepted them.
Bert laughed and pushed me away, “You just watch, one day you’ll bow to me. Man, what a night that’ll be. Too bad I’m not an alcoholic.”
People pointing it out was never a pleasant experience, because I was in fact an alcoholic. I knew it, but since it was my way of dealing with life and all its complications, I didn’t plan on doing anything about it. Besides, Bert could joke about it as much as he wanted to and even try to deny it, but he was as much of an alcoholic as I was and a drug addict at that.
Joe and I looked at each other, clearly not taking Bert’s words seriously, before cracking up.
“Fuck you guys!” Bert scowled, walking away annoyed.
“He’s pissed now,” Joe noted still grinning like a madman.
“He’ll get over it. His ego is just a bit scorched,” I laughed it off.
“Ouch,” he laughed and turned to Jerry, the barman. “Can we have a couple of shots here?”
Somewhere else in the bar another crowd was cheering. I scanned over the room and noticed a small crowd gathered around a table in one of the corners way at the back. I smiled and turned back to the bar. This life couldn’t have any dull moments.
From the corner of my eye I noticed someone sitting at the far end of the bar. It was a young girl who sat alone, drinking by herself. She looked lost or miserable or… She looked like me… surrounded by a bunch of people, but still alone.
It was heartbreaking how the world could reject even the most beautiful people at such an early point in life. People with so much talent never got any opportunities or chances in life. Sometimes you reach a point when it seemed that even life rejected you. When you reached that point you couldn’t help but ask, “Why even bother anymore?”
People only noticed you, but never really saw you. No one ever saw how broken some people were and if they did they chose to turn a blind eye and look the other way, pretending not to. It was cruel. It was the reason so many people decided to end their own lives nowadays, because no one saw the pain lying just beneath the brightest smile or the tears threatening to fall from the most sparkling eyes. No one saw.
People pretended to care. They made empty promises of always being there and yet when you needed them the most, they were nowhere to be found. There was always something more important to worry about, something else to do. Why in the hell would you think that they would actually take time from their busy schedules to save your life? No… that was simply too much to ask.
I could only picture the grimace on my face. These negative thoughts always had a way of creeping up on me. Then again, lately it seemed that they were always just there, plaguing my mind and dragging me down. It was just another punch life threw at me, another beating I took, always never ending. It wasn’t something I could run or hide from. It didn’t matter though, because I was still here and that was not going to change. I wasn’t going down without a fight.
“To your new record,” Joe said next to me holding up a shot glass and pulling me from my thoughts.
I picked up mine and threw the bitter alcohol down my throat in an attempt to forget. The liquid burned all the way down, but I loved it. It always worked, always expelling the depressing thoughts and picking you up off the ground.
“Come on! I have one for you,” Bert said, rejoining us. “Nic, pour the two of us a couple of shots each. If you see that we’re still going and the shots are getting low, pour us some more.”
The barman nodded and started to put out the glasses.
I smiled at Bert, “You think you can win?”
“Of course I can. I’m a man. Why don’t you just stick with your sissy drinks?”
“What?” I gaped surprised.
“I’m saying that if you’re not up to the challenge you can just say so,” he said shortly, turning away from me and facing the bar.
“I accept.” Of course I did. This was a matter of pride if nothing else. We grinned at each other.
Bert and I had the strangest friendship. Sometimes we could be inseparable, but then there were days when we annoyed the hell out of each other. There were days when I felt like strangling the greasy haired male. The next day I would usually be glad that I didn’t.
“You’re insane,” Joe stated definitely, “You’ll kill yourselves.”
We simply laughed it off, because of course we could handle this. Even if we couldn’t, there was enough alcohol in both our systems to make us believe that we could. No one was going to tell us otherwise.
“We’ll be fine,” Bert assured him with a wave of his hand.
A crowd slowly gathered around us in anticipation. We probably knew everyone in the room and they knew that my group of friends always put on a good show.
“Looks like I’m just in time,” Shawn exclaimed once he pushed through the crowd.
Shawn had shaggy blonde hair and was my best friend next to Bert. He was probably the furthest from being an alcoholic of all of us. Sure he enjoyed going out and getting drunk with us, but most of the times he was just along for the ride.
“Where were you?” Joe wanted to know, lining drinks up in front of us and stealing one for himself.
“Yeah, we thought you weren’t coming,” I added, happy to see him.
“And miss this? Not a snowball’s hope in hell,” he laughed with one of his arms resting across my shoulders.
“You ready?” the barman asked still holding the bottle of alcohol in his hand, ready to refill our shot glasses as we went.
Bert and I both nodded.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Shawn asked smiling.
“I was born ready.”
“Woo!” he shouted already motivating me.
Bert and I sat down. We glanced at each other before looking down at the shots in front of us.
“Ready. Set. GO!” Someone yelled.
Instantly we started throwing the shots down our throats. The liquid was bitter and really potent. Soon my insides felt like they were on fire, but I wasn’t stopping.
Everyone around us was cheering. “Go! Go! GO!”
Jerry did his job and kept the shots coming, but the more sensible part of me was wishing that he would stop, telling me that I should stop. I started to feel dizzy and everything began to blur. Next to me Bert broke into a fit of serious coughs. The crowd went wild: I won. I got up, slightly off balance and smiled triumphantly. My gaze turned to Bert who was still coughing and spluttering for air. I saw the worried looks on my friends’ faces, but before I could do anything, I crashed to the ground and everything went black.
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