FicWad

hey guys, I'm not sure if I'm gonna keep writing this story. I have a lot of ideas but I don't think anyone is reading it. I'll wait and see!


"Hey! How did it go with Petey?" Joe asked once Pete had opened the door. Pete motioned for Joe to follow him into the living room where they both sat down.
"It was amazing," Pete said, unable to stop the grin from spreading over his face. "It really was. It was incredible, he's a person!"
"Yeah, he is," Joe agreed with a laugh. He looked around the living room. "Where is he?"
"He's upstairs. He's napping. I think he's still pretty worn out."
"And what about you? How do you feel?"
"Great," Pete said, the smile still plastered to his face. "He has his own personality and everything. It's so bizarre. Last time I saw him he was crawling right there…" he stopped. Joe looked at the ground, feeling awkward. The smile faded from Pete's face and Joe could almost see the memories playing through his head.
"Sorry," Pete said, shaking his head. "It's just… I don't know what I was expecting, you know? Was I expecting to walk in the room and for him to run over to me? I guess… a little part of me was. But he didn't even recognise me, Joe. I was just some guy to him. I'm his dad and he didn't even recognise me."
"That's not your fault, Pete." Joe said, shifting forward. "You know that, right?"
"Yeah, of course," Pete agreed. "But it was strange. I guess I had built it up in my head a little. But hey, he's not even two, so of course it was gonna be different to how I imagined."
"But you had fun, that's the main thing," Joe said, trying to steer him in a different direction.
"Yeah, a lot of fun," Pete said, smiling again. "We played for a long time and then I put him to bed. He was out like a light. I stayed up half the night just watching him."
Joe smiled at the distant smile on Pete's face, before it faded again.
"What's wrong?"
"I just thought… the other night… that was the first time I ever put him to bed myself."
Joe didn't know what to say. He certainly wasn't expecting Pete to be in the slightest bit sad.
"Well, things are gonna be different now."
"Yeah, you're right," Pete said, shaking his head as though he were trying to shake his thoughts away.
"So what happens now? Is Rachel staying?"
"I don't know," Pete shrugged. "We haven't talked about it. I haven't had the chance to speak to her on her own since the day she dropped Petey off with you. Hopefully I'll get the chance to soon."
"Here's hoping," Joe nodded. Pete fidgeted, keeping his hands busy. Joe suspected he was trying to resist the urge to pull his phone out and call Rachel.
"Give her time, don't overwhelm her. She's come a long way by agreeing to come here," Joe stated.
"You're right. It's just hard. I have so many questions. But I will give her time. I don't wanna push her away again. I just wanna enjoy my time with Petey. I have him for a few more days, at least..."
"Wise choice."
The two men sat in silence, both looking around the room.
"So… what's new with you? I feel like everything has been about me lately," Pete said. Joe laughed.
"Well, since you ask… I have some news."
"Oh man, you're finally gonna get rid of that ridiculous haircut?"
"No, but thanks for that," Joe said, raising his hand to his head in defence.
"I was kidding!"
"No, you weren't! But I might have to get rid of it. You know, for the wedding."
Pete stared at him.
"You're getting married?"
Joe nodded.
"That's right my friend, she said yes!" Joe said, jumping to his feet.
"Wow! Congratulations man," Pete said, jumping up too.
"Thanks," Joe replied.
"She's insane!" Pete said, embracing him in a hug and laughing.
"You don't think I know that already? She'd have to be to marry me!"

*


"Hey Riles, can I talk to you for a minute?" Patrick asked, sticking his head round the door. Addison frowned at him but he looked away as Riley walked towards him. He led her into his study, closed the door over and sat down on his chair. Normally she would have jumped on his lap but when he turned round she was sitting cross legged on the floor watching him.
"Am I in trouble?"
"No, you're not in trouble at all," Patrick laughed. "I just wanted to see how your day was."
Riley hesitated for a second, her eyes surveying him before she shrugged.
"It was good."
Patrick waited for her to go on, and when she didn't, he got up off the chair and sat down opposite her.
"You had fun with your dad, right?"
Riley nodded. There was something about the way she seemed to be holding back that wasn't like her. Normally she would talk non stop about her day and tell him every little detail, but she seemed reluctant to share anything with him.
"What's up, sweetie?" Patrick asked, concerned.
"Mommy said I shouldn't talk to you about my daddy because it might make you sad."
Patrick blinked and sat up stiffly. He wasn't quite sure what to say.
"Well, Riles, you know you can always talk to me about anything. Even if it's something you think is gonna hurt me. Especially then."
Riley nodded and Patrick noted she was beginning to get fidgety like she always did when she began to get bored of a conversation.
"Look, I'm happy your daddy came to see you today. You know that, right? I know I'll never replace your daddy and I'd never want you to think that. So it's okay to talk about him whenever and wherever you want, okay?"
"Okay," she replied, nodding vigorously. Patrick waited a few more seconds before it became clear she wasn't going to talk. Not right now, at least.
"Okay," he said, "Listen, go wash up for dinner, alright?"
As she left the room Patrick stood up and paced around for several minutes, his head thumping. During dinner, he could barely look at Addison as she made conversation with the children and Rachel and for the rest of the evening he locked himself in his study, his headphones blaring music so loud it hurt, but it still didn't silence his thoughts.

**

Patrick was lying in bed playing around on his laptop when Addison finally came upstairs. He didn't look up as she entered their bedroom and didn't make conversation as she got ready for bed.
"Are we gonna talk about why you're pissed at me?" Addison asked, climbing into bed beside him. Patrick still didn't look up from the screen and shrugged.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, beginning to type.
"That's a load of crap and you know it. Now what is wrong with you? You've been acting like a spoilt child all day."
"I have not," he argued, still refusing to look at her. Addison reached over and slammed the laptop shut, Patrick jerking his hands away so it didn't close on his fingers.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, annoyed.
"I'm asking you that very question," Addison shot back, waiting for his answer. When all he did was exhale heavily and move his laptop off the bed, she spoke.
"You're pissed because Matthew came,"
"Addison, I'm not gonna get in a fight right now when our house is so crazy. I've got a load on my mind right now and I could do without this high school crap."
"High school crap? That's rich considering you're acting like you're in kindergarten! Get a grip, Patrick."
"Okay, you wanna know what's bothering me? I'll tell you," he hissed, sitting up straight and keeping his voice quiet in case Rachel heard them in the spare room.
"Today you made Riley feel like her real father is something she should be ashamed of. You made me out to be the bad guy!"
"What are you talking about?"
"You told her not to mention him to me!"
"So? I don't want you to get upset."
"I don't want her to think she can't talk to me about him!" Patrick said, hurt. "I want her to know she can talk to me about anything, especially her dad. You know that's only gonna mess her up as she gets older."
"What did you say to her earlier?"
"I told her exactly what I just told you That she can talk to me about anything, especially her dad. I told her I would never replace her father and I would never try to."
Addison was quiet as she replayed his words in his head.
"I'm sorry. I thought I was sparing your feelings by her not talking about him to you."
"Well, don't. I'm a big boy, I can take it."
Addison nodded. "I'm sorry, Patrick. It's just… I've never been in this situation before."
"Look, don't worry about it. Just don't make her feel like her dad is a big secret. She has to know it's perfectly normal. I just want her to be happy. She seemed to have a lot of fun with Matt."
"She did."
"Well, that's all I want. Addison… this isn't about you and me. Or me and Matt. This is about Riley having a relationship with him. I think it's great because she is a wonderful kid and everyone deserves to have their parents in their lives. If Danielle and Josh could have a relationship with Christina, I think that would be great. But she doesn't want anything to do with them, never has."
"I know. I just don't know if it's the right thing for Matt to come into our lives."
"And as long as he doesn't mess around with her, I don't have a problem with it. We're adults. No, we're more than that. We're parents. We have to do what's right for her. No matter how you feel about him, it's about Riley and…"
Patrick stopped.
"Why would it be a problem for Matt to be in our lives? We're grown ups, we can act civilised."
"I know, I just mean that…"
"Do you still have feelings for him?"
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You saw him. He's tall, handsome, ripped. Everything I'm not."
"Oh, would you listen to yourself?" Addison asked, standing up. "You sound like you're fourteen years old!"
"You're not answering the question."
"Of course I don't have feelings for him. He's my ex husband."
"So? Christina and I were exes for two years before I got over her."
"We're not talking about you and Christina. And how dare you insinuate such at thing?"
"Then why would it be a problem if Riley wants a relationship with Matt?"
"I never said that!"
"Why are you so defensive?" Patrick shot at her, standing up too.
"This is insane," Addison said, angrily. "I can't believe you're acting like such a jerk."
"Well, maybe that's just me."
Addison glared at him and he glared back, breathing heavily in anger.
"Maybe I wasn't clear. My problem is that I don't want Matt to get Riley's hopes up that she might actually have a relationship with him where she sees him regularly, only for him to go back abroad for work and never see her! That was my problem."
Patrick stayed silent, waiting for her to go on.
"You're acting as though I'm the one who is insecure, Patrick. But clearly it's you."

She grabbed her clothes from the bathroom and left the bedroom. Patrick stayed still, trying to calm down, until he heard the front door shut. He ran over to the bedroom window in time to see Addison's car pulling out of the driveway. He watched her car disappear at the end of the road before storming over to his bed and throwing himself down onto the sheets. Seething, he muttered under his breath and turned his back on Addison's side of the bed. For the first time in his life that night, he wondered why on earth he had ever gotten married.


*

When Patrick woke up the next morning he was surprised to find himself still just as angry as he was when he had fallen asleep. He showered and made his way downstairs, his heart thumping in anticipation. He had half expected Addison to be sitting at the table, but the house was silent. It was 5.30 am and he guessed he had at least an hour before the kids woke up.
He sat down and laid his head in his hands. He had been sitting for a long time before a voice made him look up.
"Rough night?" Rachel asked, apprehensively. Patrick sighed.
"You could say that," he replied. "You heard, then?"
Rachel sat down opposite him and shrugged. "I just guessed. You were so uptight at dinner last night and Addison's car isn't there."
Patrick put his head in his hands again. "I think I overstepped a mark."
He sat contemplating the argument again for a few moments before he shook his head and sat up straight again.
"Anyway. What's on today?"
"Well, I was going to go round to Pete's. Maybe. I miss Petey but maybe I should let him have some time alone with him."
"Why don't you take him to the park?"
"Pete or the baby?"
"I was gonna say the baby but good point. I know who would have more fun," Patrick laughed.
"What do you think?"
"I think if you turned up and suggest going to the park with them both, he would be over the moon," Patrick replied.
"Really?"
"Trust me. He will be. I can almost guarantee it."
"I know we have a lot to talk about. I was thinking about telling him about…"
"Rach… I know it's great that you guys are talking. But take it slow, okay? He doesn't need to know just now. It might just send him over the edge. And that's the last thing you need."
They watched each other for a while and Rachel nodded.
"You're right. I'll wait a while."

Patrick jumped as the front door opened and shut shortly after. He looked at Rachel as though to say 'here goes' and waited. Addison entered the kitchen and looked surprised.
"Hey, you two. I didn't know you were both up this early."
"I couldn't sleep. I'm still jet lagged," Rachel replied. Patrick didn't say anything, looking at his hands instead. Rachel cleared her throat and stood up.
"Okay, well. I might try and go back to sleep or go for a walk…" she floundered, leaving the kitchen.
Addison took Rachel's now vacated seat and looked at Patrick. She looked tired and angry. Patrick was still just as annoyed as she looked, and the longer he sat, he contemplated walking past her and not speaking, but he couldn't. It wasn't him. He may be angry, but underneath that he was feeling sick and worried. He had to put a stop to the fighting. Opening his mouth to speak, she cut him off.
"I'm sorry. I should have realised why you were so angry about me telling Riley not to talk to you."
Patrick sighed, partly in relief that she had apologised, partly because she finally understood why he was annoyed the previous night.
"Thank you," he said, looking at the table. "And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have accused you of…"
"It's okay," she stopped him. "We were both emotional."
"I guess there's a lot of drama round here right now."
"Last thing we need to do is add to it," Addison stated.
Patrick nodded. "You can say that again."

**

"Why are you still up, honey?" Addison asked from the door. Patrick didn't look up, just kept turning Danielle's teddy over and over in his hands. She sat down beside him on the doorstep. It was 1 am the next morning and the warm air surrounded them along with the sound of crickets and the occasional car that drove by.
"What's on your mind?"
"I was just thinking…" Patrick trailed off.
"About?"
"The kids."
"What about them?" she pressed, sensing he wanted to talk but there was some sort of sadness holding him back. Patrick shook his head and then bit his lip before looking at the ground.
"Have you been crying?"
"No!" he said, a little bit too indignantly.
"What's wrong? You can tell me."

They sat in silence for several moments while Patrick thought.
"Don't you find it strange… that there are three kids in there who will grow up to have favorite bands or foods and they'll have friends and dreams…" he trailed off again before continuing. "and some day they'll have their own lives? Like they could be US in twenty years? Don't you find it weird?"
"Not weird. Scary. When you put it like that!" Addison laughed. Patrick stayed quiet, looking forward.
"What's brought all of this on?"
Patrick shrugged. "Danni had a nightmare the night I called Rachel a few weeks ago. I don't know why, but it's just stuck in my mind. She was crying because she said there were monsters… and I told her she never had to worry about monsters because I would always chase them away for her. Especially when she was old enough that the monsters would become boys."
Addison laughed again and smiled at him. "That's very sweet."
"But it got me thinking…" Patrick continued as though she hadn't spoken. "About when she is old enough… that eventually there's gonna be some boy out there who breaks her heart."
He hung his head and Addison nodded slowly.
"The thing that gets me… is that to her right now… I'm her daddy. I'm the only man she can rely on. I'm supposed to chase the monsters. I can put a band aid on her knee and make it better. I can put her on my shoulders and make her feel like she's on top of the world. Right now… I'm Super Dad. That's what she called me earlier."
"So why are you sitting here all dark and depressed?"
Another silence passed while Patrick contemplated her question.
"Because right now Addy… I can fix anything. But what about the day when she doesn't wanna hold my hand when we cross the street? Or the day she rolls her eyes whenever I speak? Or the day she yells at me because I'm 'so embarrassing'? Or what about the day… when she gets her heart broken and I can't fix it for her?"
"That's part of life, sweetheart."
Patrick sighed. "I know. I just can't believe there's gonna be a day where I can't make things better. A day where I'm not…"
"Super Dad?"
"Yeah."
Addison smiled and pulled him close. He leant his head against her shoulder and sighed deeply again.
"Honey, you are an amazing father. You're the only guy I know who would sit with two little girls and play Barbies for two hours because they wanted to."
"Well, they wouldn't let me be Ken so I settled for Barbie, but I drew the line at dress up," Patrick laughed, as he remembered. Addison grinned.
"Believe me. Of course they're going to grow up. And you know what? Maybe you won't be able to fix their broken hearts. That's hard for any parent. But the important thing is that you will always try, no matter what. and that's what counts."
Patrick smiled but it was a sad smile that didn't reach his eyes.
"Patrick, I would have loved to have had a father like you. A father that was so involved. A father who loves his kids more than anything. The fact that those kids upstairs are only six years old and you're already worrying about these things is adorable. You know, they might not wanna talk to you about certain things when they're older, but they will never, ever doubt that you'll be there for them if they do. And maybe they won't appreciate it at the time, but when they're our age, they'll be so thankful you're their father.
"Maybe," Patrick whispered.
"Definitely," Addison replied. "Imagine all the things Josh is gonna learn about being a father from you. If he's half as good a dad as you are… he'll be wonderful."
"Thank you," Patrick said, sitting up straight.
"It's true. And you know they say a girl grows up to marry a guy like her father. Me? I'm glad I didn't. But think about the day Danni gets married and turns to you and says thank you for being her dad."
"Addison!" Patrick said in a whining tone.
"What?" She asked, startled.
"I don't wanna think about the day I have to give my daughter away to another man!"
"She might even have had sex with him! Imagine!" Addison teased as Patrick yelled and stuck his fingers in his ears, shaking his head.
"Stop it! I'm not listening!"
Addison laughed and pulled his hands away.
"You will always be Super Dad to them. Even when they have families of their own. Anyone would be mad not to see why."


Standing in the kitchen, Rachel turned away. She hadn't realised she had tears in her eyes until they fell down her face. Seeing Patrick and Addison together was a reminder of what she had had, of what she had lost. She hadn't intended to overhear their conversation, but hearing Patrick confessing his fears had made her realise that Pete was just as loving, just as loyal and every inch the wonderful father Patrick was. She just hadn't realised until now exactly what he might have missed out on had Patrick not convinced her to come back. As she shut the door to her bedroom, she picked up her phone and dialled. As it rang, she let the tears fall. She sat down on the bed as the ringing switched to voicemail.
"It's me. I'm sorry to call so late but I had to talk to you. Please call me. We need to talk."