FicWad

Coming clean is always the hardest part. After keeping those carefully created lies alive for so long, it's hard to break lose from them. It's hard to give up on those glass lies, especially if they're all that's been keeping you going.

If you weren't living a lie, or at least, not living so quite a large lie, then maybe coming clean wouldn't be so hard. But you're living a lie. A lie so large that you can't tell where the lie ends and you begin. Even if you wanted to separate from the lie, you barely could. And now, you and the lies are one, conjoined twins, more likely than not forever.

Coming clean would be extremely painful, if not fatal at this point, and not just ot the lie. For a moment, you wonder what your life would be like if you ever did give up your lies. But then, you remember the possibilities of what will happen if you do come clean. It may not be the wisest decision to keep living the lie. Tet, it's what you must do to protect your own skin.

So just to help you protect your own skin, and keep your tenuous grasp on reality just a little bit longer, I'll tell you a little about what would happen if you do come clean. Go ahead. Step into the cleansing pains and get clean.

Only, that pain is laced with acid that eats your skin away from the very meat on your bones, leaving you in a mass of raw, exposed nerve endings. Now go get burnt alive, charred to a crisp by the judgments and cruel words of people all around you, many of who used to favor you, idolize you, even. This is going to cause you to be in even more pain, but you're not dead yet. At least, not on the outside for now.

Now you're left raw, open, naked, flesh that needs to be covered for proper healing. So go spin yourself some new clothes, and make sure they're out of razor wire and diamond dust, extra sharp please. Of course, no outfit is complete without accessories. So create for yourself a crown, out of shards of glass, and maybe a necklace and some bracelets, too. Make sure you've sewn all of this into your very own muscles, so you can never escape.

Every time you move, you will be reminded of those garments, causing you severe pain. These are your shame, brought about by coming clean. By keeping quiet, you would've been safe from all this. But since you haven't, you must wear the shame, never being free of it, no matter how hard you try, even when you're all alone.

You'll be bathed in salt water near constantly. This water coming down on you without end is the tears of the people around you, who cry for you, and who cry because of you, and your own tears as well. You'll have hurt so many people with your honesty, and you'll regret ever thinking of living as an honest man. This salt water, besides wreaking havoc on your emotions, will cause harm to your body as well. It will make all your open wounds sting and scream in protest, day after day after day. This is how it feels to be honest. But you're somehow still alive.

In the end, you'll crave death, like no one ever has before. And rightly so. You'll lose most of your friends. People will hate you, and talk behind your back. Your family will treat you like the scum of the earth, and never trust you again. This will see you as a child. You will lose your freedom, too, and people will watch your every move. You will lose the right to exert control over your body, and the colored candies of the insane will be shoved down your throat daily. A smile that's more of a grimace will be carved into your face as you walk about pretending everything is fine.

None of this is what you want, so you never come clean, opting to just live a lie instead. As miserable as you are now, you know that you will be like this times a thousand should you dare make a single peep about the truth. With a laugh, you realize that whoever said, "The truth will set you free" never committed a crime or deviant act, and most certainly never told a lie.