Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > A Stranger in the Mirror
The One Where Everything Goes Wrong
0 reviews"Yes, something's wrong, that restless feeling's been preying on my mind. When things get bad I'm bound to pack my bags and just leave them all behind."
0Unrated
Pete groaned in exasperation as he stumbled across the bathroom floor, trying not to fall over while pulling his jeans on, his hair soaking wet from his shower.
"I'm coming!" he yelled as the doorbell continued to sound throughout the house. He rubbed his hair with his towel and let it rest over one shoulder as he opened the door, his hair sticking up in tufts.
"What do you want?" he asked, bitterly as he caught sight of Rachel.
"I want to talk to you."
"Yeah? Well, I really don't want to talk to you. Besides, now is really not a good time."
"Why?"
"Jesus, what's with all the questions? You know, you disappear for a year and a half and now all of a sudden you want things to go back to the way they were?"
"Don't you?"
Pete paused and looked around, locking his eyes on anything but Rachel.
"I did. Now I'm not so sure."
"Pete, there aren't any clean towels," a voice said from behind him. Rachel tilted her head slightly and caught sight of a brunette standing on the stairs wrapped only in a bed sheet.
"Use mine," Pete replied with a smirk, sliding the towel off his shoulders and stepping back to hand it to her. Knowing Rachel was watching, he embraced his acquaintance by cupping her face in his hands and kissed her.
"I'll be up in a minute," he whispered, and turned back to the door his eyes fixed on Rachel as his female companion retreated up the stairs.
Although he hated to admit it to himself, there was a part of him that revelled in her reaction. After everything she had done to him, he was glad she could feel only a small fraction of the hurt he had felt. After all, didn't she deserve it?
"You should go," he said, finally.
"Are you doing this on purpose to hurt me?" Rachel asked, quietly. Pete laughed sarcastically and shook his head in disbelief.
"Of course I am, Rachel. Everything is always about you," he replied, mockingly. "Just because you came back doesn't mean I'm gonna drop everything for you. You had no problem dropping me."
"It wasn't like that!"
"You need to go, I'm busy," he said, making to close the door. Rachel blocked him and he rolled his eyes.
"We need to talk about this," Rachel informed him.
"Why do you want to talk all of a sudden?" he asked, angrily, moving towards her. She backed away, nervous at the resentment flashing in his eyes.
"After nothing but silence for so long… now you wanna talk? Well, I got news for you, Rachel. We have lives. I have a life. I spent too long waiting for you, and I'm not gonna waste anymore time on you. You're the mother of my son, and that's it."
"How can you say that?"
"You brought it upon yourself," he said, indignantly. "Deal with it."
And with that, he slammed the door shut and made his way upstairs, leaving Rachel behind for the first time in his life.
"Who was that?" Pete's companion asked as he entered the bedroom. He took off his shirt and threw it onto the ground before moving towards her.
"No one special," he replied, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her towards him. He leant his lower body in towards her as he moved his lips to hers and locked her in a passionate embrace. He lifted her shirt over her head and as they fumbled with each other's jeans, he led her to the bed by pressing his body against her until she sank onto the mattress. He climbed on top off her, planting kisses in the crook between her neck and her shoulders. As she moaned softly he moved back to her lips and tugged at them lovingly before running his kisses down her stomach, his hands exploring her body, teasing her, as she exhibited more moans of pleasure which coupled with his own. As he entered her she ran her hands through his hair, pulling him closer. With every thrust, Pete could feel himself becoming more free. For so long, he had pined for a woman who had discarded his love for her as though it were worthless, and now, he was free. He wasn't going to pine anymore. The screams of his name were a distant sound in the background as he felt a high like never before, taking him higher and higher until his body erupted with ecstasy. And at that moment, he knew anything was possible. This was the start of the rest of his life, of endless sex, love and no limits.
Collapsing onto his back beside his playmate, he ran his hands through his hair as they panted, trying to catch their breath.
"What was your name again?"
"Hope," she said, breathlessly, turning her head to look at him. Pete turned over to face her and grinned.
"Hope," he repeated, nodding, while a smile spread over his face.
"You know, you're what I've been looking for all this time."
Across town, Patrick was sitting in his car in his driveway, his head resting on the steering wheel. He had spent the whole evening gearing himself up for returning home, and had suddenly found himself sitting outside the house. The all too familiar sickening feeling had begun to build up in his stomach, and he began to count to ten as he lifted his head up and exited the car. He put his key in the lock and opened the door once he had turned the lock. He found himself praying that Rachel had managed to find herself somewhere to stay. He felt awful about how things had turned out with her earlier, but he had had no choice.
The house was silent. Looking at his watch, he saw it was much later than he realised. The kids would definitely be in bed by now. He stood in the hallway listening for any sound, but all he could hear was his own heart thumping so loud he was surprised the whole house couldn't hear it. He looked in every room downstairs but there was no sign of Addison. He felt relief sweeping throughout his body but then stopped. Why was he relieved his wife was nowhere to be seen? It was so wrong. He had to talk to her, he simply had to. He couldn't stand fighting with anybody, least of all his best friend and his wife in the same day. And now he had pushed Rachel away. Boy, he thought to himself, you sure know how to fuck things up, Patrick.
Upstairs, he quietly looked in on the kids who were all fast asleep, and he tip toed past their bedrooms into his own. He stumbled slightly in the darkness and looked over towards the bed. The moonlight illuminated Addison, who was lying facing the window, her back to him as he stood in the doorway. She didn't move, although he could tell she was still awake. He hesitated for a moment, remembering their argument merely hours ago, but he could stand it no longer. He walked over to her side of the bed and bent down, sitting on his haunches.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into the darkness. There were a few moments of silence before he heard her sit up in bed. He shielded his eyes as she flipped on the light.
"We need to stop doing this," she said, quietly. Patrick looked up at her quizzically.
"What do you mean?"
"Fighting. I'm sick of it. Lately, it seems like all we do is fight."
"I know," Patrick nodded. "Things have been a bit…" he hauled himself up onto the bed and sat next to her while searching for the right words.
"Crazy?"
"Yeah. I guess that's the word," Patrick agreed. "Things will go back to normal in time."
"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have said what I said…" Addison began, but Patrick put his finger to his lip and shook his head.
"Shh. Forget about it."
"No. I was awful to you. I accused you of something awful and I know you would never do that to me. You're the sweetest, kindest man I've ever known and I was so…"
Patrick quietened her by wrapping his arms around her and cuddling her close. He turned off the light and lay against the headboard as she nestled into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.
"It's forgotten. That's part of marriage, right?" he tried to make her smile but she continued to look upset.
"I guess life just gets crazy when everybody's worlds collide," he murmured. "But we'll get through it. We always do, don't we?"
"I hope so. I really, really hope so."
Patrick frowned in the dark. He didn't like the sound of the word 'hope', but he ignored it. They sat in silence for a few moments while Patrick closed his eyes, until Addison spoke.
"Did you and Pete make up?"
He tensed up ever so slightly and then shifted uncomfortably.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I need to give him space for a while."
"Why don't you go and talk to him instead?"
Patrick shook his head in disagreement, although she couldn't see.
"Trust me, Addison. Sometimes Pete gets to a point of anger where you have to leave him sulk. Anything other than that is like poking a bear. He'll explode at some point if I keep at him."
"What is so bad that you guys are fighting like this?"
"I already told you, it's not my place to say. You've just got to trust me when I say it's pretty deep stuff between him and Rachel."
"Do you think they'll get back together?"
Patrick contemplated the question for a few seconds before shrugging.
"I really don't know. I used to think they could work things out, but now… I haven't seen Pete this angry in a long time. And I don't know if he has it in him to forgive Rachel."
"So what are you gonna do? Just leave him to come around?"
"I guess I'll have to. He'll come round eventually. He has to. Lord knows I'm not giving in this time."
Later that night, in bed, Patrick lay awake, while Addison slept soundly next to him. Although she was right next to him, he felt like he was miles away. He lay on his back in the dark, twisting his wedding ring around his finger. He wondered to himself why when things seemed to be going so well for him that something would come along and send it all crashing down. Lately, it seemed like he had fought with almost everyone who was important to him. He and Addison had made up hours ago, but conversation between them had been strained and it felt as though it was forced, something he hadn't experienced in a long, long time. He had never fought with Rachel before, and although they hadn't exactly exchanged any unkind words, he felt as though he had pushed her away in favour of his marriage. He was torn between the two. Of course he wanted to make his wife happy, but he couldn't go on feeling like he had dragged Rachel back for help and then pushed her away just as she had begun to open up to him.
And on top of all that, fighting with Pete had always made his stomach churn. He hated it. Pete could go for weeks without speaking to someone who had annoyed him and it never fazed him. Patrick on the other hand, couldn't last a few hours without feeling like vomiting if he had been in an argument. As he replayed the afternoon's events in his head, he felt the familiar sickening feeling building up in his chest that had become so frequent to him in the last few days. He knew that, despite what he had told Addison about leaving Pete be, he couldn't last much longer before he tried to call Pete or knocked on his door to apologise. Patrick had an awful habit of apologising even when he was in the right, just to save having an argument. It was a trait he hated about himself, but he hated fighting even more. But there had been something about the way Pete had looked at him earlier that made him feel like maybe he shouldn't be the one to give in first. Pete had looked at him like he didn't know him at all, there had been such resentment in his eyes that it had shocked Patrick.
Four days later, there was still no sign of Pete. As much as it pained Patrick, he had promised himself that he wouldn't go round. He knew Pete needed his space right now and that he would come back, when he needed to talk eventually, whenever that might be. He had managed to dodge Josh's questions about why Pete hadn't been around, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could go without speaking to him. They had never gone this long without speaking, even when they had fought about Patrick's relationship with Addison when they had started dating. Patrick tried to push things to the back of his mind and concentrate on making some music, but every chord he strummed for sentence of Pete's lyrics reminded him of how much he missed his best friend. His stubborn assed best friend.
"This is stupid," Andy said to Pete, following him around his house. "You guys are acting like you're 12 years old."
"Shut up, Andy," Pete said, rolling his eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"So tell me."
"I thought Patrick would have told you. Seems he has a lot of secrets with everyone but me."
"Grow up, Pete."
"I'm serious, Andy. Ask him. I'm sure he'll tell you."
"You know, I spoke to him the day after you fell out and he said he had a massive fight with Addison because he refused to tell her what went on between you and Rachel. So, no, he won't tell me. You know he's too loyal. He's like a dog!"
"He fought with Addison?" Pete asked, stopping in his tracks. Andy nodded.
"Yeah. He told her you guys had a fight and when she asked what it was about he wouldn't tell her, said it's not his business to tell."
"He spun me that same bullshit when I found out what Rachel did."
"What did she do that was so awful? You seem to be really pissed."
"Would you be pissed if your other half left you, took your kid away and then had an abortion?"
Andy stared at him, attempting to figure out if he was telling the truth or exaggerating like he sometimes had a habit of doing.
"What?"
"Yeah. Once she had left me, she apparently had an abortion. And apparently, she felt so bad about it that she tried to kill herself."
"What?!" Andy repeated, in shock. "Are you kidding?"
"Nope," Pete shook his head before running his hands over his face and then hanging his head in his hands. "I don't get it. I mean, it seemed to her that having another baby with me was so fucking awful that that was her only option?"
Andy sat in silence next to Pete while he talked. Pete sighed deeply and then looked at Andy.
"Now do you get why I'm pissed?"
"Well, I get why you're upset. But I don't get why you're pissed at Patrick?"
"He knew all about it."
Andy gawked at him.
"That doesn't sound like Patrick. He knew?"
"Yeah! Well… he found out when he went to Australia to talk to her."
"Oh, so he didn't know for two years?"
"No, but…"
"I'm confused. So why are you pissed, again?"
"He knew, Andy! It doesn't matter how long he knew, he still knew before I did and chose not to tell me! He found out in Australia and didn't tell me."
"So? It's not exactly his business to go blurting out, is it?"
"Let me explain something to you. There's something called intuition. I should have been the first person he talked to when he got back to Chicago. And instead he chose to keep it from me."
"I'm sure he wanted to tell you."
"You know, I think I like you more when you don't talk."
"I like you more when you're not being a complete moron," Andy retorted. "You know Patrick's not like that. Like I said, he's like a dog when it comes to loyalty. He's not gonna go telling everyone someone else's business, is he?"
"No…"
"So why are you blaming him? You need to talk to Rachel. Not blame Patrick. He did you a huge favour by convincing Rachel she should come back. Come on, man. You've waited for this for so long. We've watched you torturing yourself for nearly two years. Now is your chance to get answers. So what if things don't work out between you? Best case scenario, they do. That's great. Worst case? You get to get closure and move on, and live a life where you still see Petey and you can get Rachel the help she obviously needs."
Pete considered Andy's points before nodding.
"I never realised you could actually make sense, Andy."
"That's 'cause you're always so wrapped up in your Pete Wentz bubble, that's why. I talk a lot of sense. I'm the genius of the band," he said, puffing his chest out dramatically. Pete shoved him and laughed.
"I guess I have some apologising to do, then," he wondered aloud.
"Yep. To Patrick, especially. The guy was only trying to help you and you kicked him in the nuts."
"No, I didn't!"
"Figuratively speaking, of course. You know it's true, Pete. He has your best interests at heart. He was only looking out for you and your reaction was a slap in the face."
"You're right. I guess I should go apologise."
"And what about Rachel?"
"What about her?" Pete asked, bitterly.
"Have you spoken to her about… everything?"
"No. Andy, at this point, I can barely look at her."
"You need to."
"The only thing I need to do is enjoy the hot, casual sex I've been having with a 24 year old."
Andy rolled his eyes.
"I'm delighted for you," he replied, sarcastically. "But if you don't talk to Rachel you're gonna end up filled with hatred. And that's not a place you wanna go back to. Remember when she first left? How you went off the rails?"
"Yes, Andy, I remember," Pete said, agitatedly. "I'm not gonna go back to that place. I won't let her have the satisfaction. I'm moving on."
"Well, as long as you're moving on because you want to, and not to rub it in Rachel's face."
"Oh, ye of little faith," Pete said, slapping Andy on the back. "Trust me, I should have moved on a long time ago."
"Pete…" Andy started, but Pete shushed him.
"Andy, my friend. As much as I'd love another lecture, you've gotta go."
"Why?"
"Well, my, uh, lady friend is coming over. And unless you wanna watch us bone on every surface in my house, then I'm gonna give you ten seconds to get outta here. You're welcome to stay, of course. It just won't be as much fun for you."
Andy sighed again and held his hands up.
"Okay, I'm going, I'm going. But this isn't over."
"So are you going to go round to Pete's after dinner?" Addison asked that evening at the dinner table.
"Josh! Stop banging your fork on the table," Patrick scolded him, before looking across the table at Addison.
"Why would I do that?"
"Well, I just thought since it's been four days…"
"That I would give in and apologise? I'm not going to apologise to Pete for being a good friend to Rachel!" he said, with such an indignant tone that all three children stopped and watched him. Patrick swallowed nervously and forced a smile.
"He'll come round."
"Patrick…" Addison began, but Patrick's annoyed expression as he put down his knife and fork and looked at her again made her stop.
"We'll talk about this later, okay?" he informed her rather than asked, widening his eyes in caution. Addison shrugged and went back to eating her dinner.
"What about Rachel?"
"Addison…" Patrick said in a warning tone, the kind he used when the kids were trying his patience and he began to count to three.
"I'm just saying, you should..."
"Oh, for Christ's sake!" he exclaimed, cutting her off and throwing down his cutlery again before banging his palm on the table, causing the plates to clatter and Riley, Danni and Josh to jump with fright.
"I already told you, we'll talk about it later! Is that too much to God damn ask for?" he asked, furiously, standing up and storming out of the kitchen.
He slammed the door of his study with such force that his framed record of Take This to Your Grave tottered precariously on the wall, and he heard Danielle burst into tears of confusion like she always did when Patrick lost his temper, although it wasn't often. Patrick leant with his back against the door, his hand clamped over his mouth as he breathed heavily and tried to steady his shaking body. He hadn't meant to lose his temper, he was just on the edge and Addison's questioning in front of the kids had made him snap. He felt as though all of his relationships were going to hell, that all he seemed to do lately with anyone was argue or be screamed at. How could a simple act of kindness in trying to help two of his best friends have caused so much angst and unbalance in his own household? He had become unbearable to be around, even to himself. The past few days had been a blur of the kids walking on eggshells around him, of Addison pulling away when he tried to be intimate with her, and he had even found her crying in the bathroom three days ago. He couldn't understand how everything had gone wrong, so quickly. Maybe Pete was right, he had been right all along. He had meddled and he should have stayed the hell away from it. He had just felt like he owed Pete some happiness, after all, Pete had been there for Patrick through everything that had ever gone wrong in his life since they had known each other, and he had wanted to return the favour.
Patrick could feel hot, angry tears building up in his eyes and threatening to fall down his face. He blinked furiously, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head as he leant it against the door. He had fucked everything up in a matter of three weeks. His marriage was on the rocks for the first time ever, his children were becoming scared of his snapping and his outbursts, and he was fighting with his best friend for the longest time throughout their friendship. Not to mention he had asked his best friend's estranged fiancé to come back into his life and caused all sorts of problems and truths to arise.
What had he done?
…and he was always human when he talked
But he still fluttered pulses when he said
"Good morning" and he glittered when he walked.
"I'm coming!" he yelled as the doorbell continued to sound throughout the house. He rubbed his hair with his towel and let it rest over one shoulder as he opened the door, his hair sticking up in tufts.
"What do you want?" he asked, bitterly as he caught sight of Rachel.
"I want to talk to you."
"Yeah? Well, I really don't want to talk to you. Besides, now is really not a good time."
"Why?"
"Jesus, what's with all the questions? You know, you disappear for a year and a half and now all of a sudden you want things to go back to the way they were?"
"Don't you?"
Pete paused and looked around, locking his eyes on anything but Rachel.
"I did. Now I'm not so sure."
"Pete, there aren't any clean towels," a voice said from behind him. Rachel tilted her head slightly and caught sight of a brunette standing on the stairs wrapped only in a bed sheet.
"Use mine," Pete replied with a smirk, sliding the towel off his shoulders and stepping back to hand it to her. Knowing Rachel was watching, he embraced his acquaintance by cupping her face in his hands and kissed her.
"I'll be up in a minute," he whispered, and turned back to the door his eyes fixed on Rachel as his female companion retreated up the stairs.
Although he hated to admit it to himself, there was a part of him that revelled in her reaction. After everything she had done to him, he was glad she could feel only a small fraction of the hurt he had felt. After all, didn't she deserve it?
"You should go," he said, finally.
"Are you doing this on purpose to hurt me?" Rachel asked, quietly. Pete laughed sarcastically and shook his head in disbelief.
"Of course I am, Rachel. Everything is always about you," he replied, mockingly. "Just because you came back doesn't mean I'm gonna drop everything for you. You had no problem dropping me."
"It wasn't like that!"
"You need to go, I'm busy," he said, making to close the door. Rachel blocked him and he rolled his eyes.
"We need to talk about this," Rachel informed him.
"Why do you want to talk all of a sudden?" he asked, angrily, moving towards her. She backed away, nervous at the resentment flashing in his eyes.
"After nothing but silence for so long… now you wanna talk? Well, I got news for you, Rachel. We have lives. I have a life. I spent too long waiting for you, and I'm not gonna waste anymore time on you. You're the mother of my son, and that's it."
"How can you say that?"
"You brought it upon yourself," he said, indignantly. "Deal with it."
And with that, he slammed the door shut and made his way upstairs, leaving Rachel behind for the first time in his life.
"Who was that?" Pete's companion asked as he entered the bedroom. He took off his shirt and threw it onto the ground before moving towards her.
"No one special," he replied, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her towards him. He leant his lower body in towards her as he moved his lips to hers and locked her in a passionate embrace. He lifted her shirt over her head and as they fumbled with each other's jeans, he led her to the bed by pressing his body against her until she sank onto the mattress. He climbed on top off her, planting kisses in the crook between her neck and her shoulders. As she moaned softly he moved back to her lips and tugged at them lovingly before running his kisses down her stomach, his hands exploring her body, teasing her, as she exhibited more moans of pleasure which coupled with his own. As he entered her she ran her hands through his hair, pulling him closer. With every thrust, Pete could feel himself becoming more free. For so long, he had pined for a woman who had discarded his love for her as though it were worthless, and now, he was free. He wasn't going to pine anymore. The screams of his name were a distant sound in the background as he felt a high like never before, taking him higher and higher until his body erupted with ecstasy. And at that moment, he knew anything was possible. This was the start of the rest of his life, of endless sex, love and no limits.
Collapsing onto his back beside his playmate, he ran his hands through his hair as they panted, trying to catch their breath.
"What was your name again?"
"Hope," she said, breathlessly, turning her head to look at him. Pete turned over to face her and grinned.
"Hope," he repeated, nodding, while a smile spread over his face.
"You know, you're what I've been looking for all this time."
Across town, Patrick was sitting in his car in his driveway, his head resting on the steering wheel. He had spent the whole evening gearing himself up for returning home, and had suddenly found himself sitting outside the house. The all too familiar sickening feeling had begun to build up in his stomach, and he began to count to ten as he lifted his head up and exited the car. He put his key in the lock and opened the door once he had turned the lock. He found himself praying that Rachel had managed to find herself somewhere to stay. He felt awful about how things had turned out with her earlier, but he had had no choice.
The house was silent. Looking at his watch, he saw it was much later than he realised. The kids would definitely be in bed by now. He stood in the hallway listening for any sound, but all he could hear was his own heart thumping so loud he was surprised the whole house couldn't hear it. He looked in every room downstairs but there was no sign of Addison. He felt relief sweeping throughout his body but then stopped. Why was he relieved his wife was nowhere to be seen? It was so wrong. He had to talk to her, he simply had to. He couldn't stand fighting with anybody, least of all his best friend and his wife in the same day. And now he had pushed Rachel away. Boy, he thought to himself, you sure know how to fuck things up, Patrick.
Upstairs, he quietly looked in on the kids who were all fast asleep, and he tip toed past their bedrooms into his own. He stumbled slightly in the darkness and looked over towards the bed. The moonlight illuminated Addison, who was lying facing the window, her back to him as he stood in the doorway. She didn't move, although he could tell she was still awake. He hesitated for a moment, remembering their argument merely hours ago, but he could stand it no longer. He walked over to her side of the bed and bent down, sitting on his haunches.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into the darkness. There were a few moments of silence before he heard her sit up in bed. He shielded his eyes as she flipped on the light.
"We need to stop doing this," she said, quietly. Patrick looked up at her quizzically.
"What do you mean?"
"Fighting. I'm sick of it. Lately, it seems like all we do is fight."
"I know," Patrick nodded. "Things have been a bit…" he hauled himself up onto the bed and sat next to her while searching for the right words.
"Crazy?"
"Yeah. I guess that's the word," Patrick agreed. "Things will go back to normal in time."
"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have said what I said…" Addison began, but Patrick put his finger to his lip and shook his head.
"Shh. Forget about it."
"No. I was awful to you. I accused you of something awful and I know you would never do that to me. You're the sweetest, kindest man I've ever known and I was so…"
Patrick quietened her by wrapping his arms around her and cuddling her close. He turned off the light and lay against the headboard as she nestled into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.
"It's forgotten. That's part of marriage, right?" he tried to make her smile but she continued to look upset.
"I guess life just gets crazy when everybody's worlds collide," he murmured. "But we'll get through it. We always do, don't we?"
"I hope so. I really, really hope so."
Patrick frowned in the dark. He didn't like the sound of the word 'hope', but he ignored it. They sat in silence for a few moments while Patrick closed his eyes, until Addison spoke.
"Did you and Pete make up?"
He tensed up ever so slightly and then shifted uncomfortably.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I need to give him space for a while."
"Why don't you go and talk to him instead?"
Patrick shook his head in disagreement, although she couldn't see.
"Trust me, Addison. Sometimes Pete gets to a point of anger where you have to leave him sulk. Anything other than that is like poking a bear. He'll explode at some point if I keep at him."
"What is so bad that you guys are fighting like this?"
"I already told you, it's not my place to say. You've just got to trust me when I say it's pretty deep stuff between him and Rachel."
"Do you think they'll get back together?"
Patrick contemplated the question for a few seconds before shrugging.
"I really don't know. I used to think they could work things out, but now… I haven't seen Pete this angry in a long time. And I don't know if he has it in him to forgive Rachel."
"So what are you gonna do? Just leave him to come around?"
"I guess I'll have to. He'll come round eventually. He has to. Lord knows I'm not giving in this time."
Later that night, in bed, Patrick lay awake, while Addison slept soundly next to him. Although she was right next to him, he felt like he was miles away. He lay on his back in the dark, twisting his wedding ring around his finger. He wondered to himself why when things seemed to be going so well for him that something would come along and send it all crashing down. Lately, it seemed like he had fought with almost everyone who was important to him. He and Addison had made up hours ago, but conversation between them had been strained and it felt as though it was forced, something he hadn't experienced in a long, long time. He had never fought with Rachel before, and although they hadn't exactly exchanged any unkind words, he felt as though he had pushed her away in favour of his marriage. He was torn between the two. Of course he wanted to make his wife happy, but he couldn't go on feeling like he had dragged Rachel back for help and then pushed her away just as she had begun to open up to him.
And on top of all that, fighting with Pete had always made his stomach churn. He hated it. Pete could go for weeks without speaking to someone who had annoyed him and it never fazed him. Patrick on the other hand, couldn't last a few hours without feeling like vomiting if he had been in an argument. As he replayed the afternoon's events in his head, he felt the familiar sickening feeling building up in his chest that had become so frequent to him in the last few days. He knew that, despite what he had told Addison about leaving Pete be, he couldn't last much longer before he tried to call Pete or knocked on his door to apologise. Patrick had an awful habit of apologising even when he was in the right, just to save having an argument. It was a trait he hated about himself, but he hated fighting even more. But there had been something about the way Pete had looked at him earlier that made him feel like maybe he shouldn't be the one to give in first. Pete had looked at him like he didn't know him at all, there had been such resentment in his eyes that it had shocked Patrick.
Four days later, there was still no sign of Pete. As much as it pained Patrick, he had promised himself that he wouldn't go round. He knew Pete needed his space right now and that he would come back, when he needed to talk eventually, whenever that might be. He had managed to dodge Josh's questions about why Pete hadn't been around, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could go without speaking to him. They had never gone this long without speaking, even when they had fought about Patrick's relationship with Addison when they had started dating. Patrick tried to push things to the back of his mind and concentrate on making some music, but every chord he strummed for sentence of Pete's lyrics reminded him of how much he missed his best friend. His stubborn assed best friend.
"This is stupid," Andy said to Pete, following him around his house. "You guys are acting like you're 12 years old."
"Shut up, Andy," Pete said, rolling his eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"So tell me."
"I thought Patrick would have told you. Seems he has a lot of secrets with everyone but me."
"Grow up, Pete."
"I'm serious, Andy. Ask him. I'm sure he'll tell you."
"You know, I spoke to him the day after you fell out and he said he had a massive fight with Addison because he refused to tell her what went on between you and Rachel. So, no, he won't tell me. You know he's too loyal. He's like a dog!"
"He fought with Addison?" Pete asked, stopping in his tracks. Andy nodded.
"Yeah. He told her you guys had a fight and when she asked what it was about he wouldn't tell her, said it's not his business to tell."
"He spun me that same bullshit when I found out what Rachel did."
"What did she do that was so awful? You seem to be really pissed."
"Would you be pissed if your other half left you, took your kid away and then had an abortion?"
Andy stared at him, attempting to figure out if he was telling the truth or exaggerating like he sometimes had a habit of doing.
"What?"
"Yeah. Once she had left me, she apparently had an abortion. And apparently, she felt so bad about it that she tried to kill herself."
"What?!" Andy repeated, in shock. "Are you kidding?"
"Nope," Pete shook his head before running his hands over his face and then hanging his head in his hands. "I don't get it. I mean, it seemed to her that having another baby with me was so fucking awful that that was her only option?"
Andy sat in silence next to Pete while he talked. Pete sighed deeply and then looked at Andy.
"Now do you get why I'm pissed?"
"Well, I get why you're upset. But I don't get why you're pissed at Patrick?"
"He knew all about it."
Andy gawked at him.
"That doesn't sound like Patrick. He knew?"
"Yeah! Well… he found out when he went to Australia to talk to her."
"Oh, so he didn't know for two years?"
"No, but…"
"I'm confused. So why are you pissed, again?"
"He knew, Andy! It doesn't matter how long he knew, he still knew before I did and chose not to tell me! He found out in Australia and didn't tell me."
"So? It's not exactly his business to go blurting out, is it?"
"Let me explain something to you. There's something called intuition. I should have been the first person he talked to when he got back to Chicago. And instead he chose to keep it from me."
"I'm sure he wanted to tell you."
"You know, I think I like you more when you don't talk."
"I like you more when you're not being a complete moron," Andy retorted. "You know Patrick's not like that. Like I said, he's like a dog when it comes to loyalty. He's not gonna go telling everyone someone else's business, is he?"
"No…"
"So why are you blaming him? You need to talk to Rachel. Not blame Patrick. He did you a huge favour by convincing Rachel she should come back. Come on, man. You've waited for this for so long. We've watched you torturing yourself for nearly two years. Now is your chance to get answers. So what if things don't work out between you? Best case scenario, they do. That's great. Worst case? You get to get closure and move on, and live a life where you still see Petey and you can get Rachel the help she obviously needs."
Pete considered Andy's points before nodding.
"I never realised you could actually make sense, Andy."
"That's 'cause you're always so wrapped up in your Pete Wentz bubble, that's why. I talk a lot of sense. I'm the genius of the band," he said, puffing his chest out dramatically. Pete shoved him and laughed.
"I guess I have some apologising to do, then," he wondered aloud.
"Yep. To Patrick, especially. The guy was only trying to help you and you kicked him in the nuts."
"No, I didn't!"
"Figuratively speaking, of course. You know it's true, Pete. He has your best interests at heart. He was only looking out for you and your reaction was a slap in the face."
"You're right. I guess I should go apologise."
"And what about Rachel?"
"What about her?" Pete asked, bitterly.
"Have you spoken to her about… everything?"
"No. Andy, at this point, I can barely look at her."
"You need to."
"The only thing I need to do is enjoy the hot, casual sex I've been having with a 24 year old."
Andy rolled his eyes.
"I'm delighted for you," he replied, sarcastically. "But if you don't talk to Rachel you're gonna end up filled with hatred. And that's not a place you wanna go back to. Remember when she first left? How you went off the rails?"
"Yes, Andy, I remember," Pete said, agitatedly. "I'm not gonna go back to that place. I won't let her have the satisfaction. I'm moving on."
"Well, as long as you're moving on because you want to, and not to rub it in Rachel's face."
"Oh, ye of little faith," Pete said, slapping Andy on the back. "Trust me, I should have moved on a long time ago."
"Pete…" Andy started, but Pete shushed him.
"Andy, my friend. As much as I'd love another lecture, you've gotta go."
"Why?"
"Well, my, uh, lady friend is coming over. And unless you wanna watch us bone on every surface in my house, then I'm gonna give you ten seconds to get outta here. You're welcome to stay, of course. It just won't be as much fun for you."
Andy sighed again and held his hands up.
"Okay, I'm going, I'm going. But this isn't over."
"So are you going to go round to Pete's after dinner?" Addison asked that evening at the dinner table.
"Josh! Stop banging your fork on the table," Patrick scolded him, before looking across the table at Addison.
"Why would I do that?"
"Well, I just thought since it's been four days…"
"That I would give in and apologise? I'm not going to apologise to Pete for being a good friend to Rachel!" he said, with such an indignant tone that all three children stopped and watched him. Patrick swallowed nervously and forced a smile.
"He'll come round."
"Patrick…" Addison began, but Patrick's annoyed expression as he put down his knife and fork and looked at her again made her stop.
"We'll talk about this later, okay?" he informed her rather than asked, widening his eyes in caution. Addison shrugged and went back to eating her dinner.
"What about Rachel?"
"Addison…" Patrick said in a warning tone, the kind he used when the kids were trying his patience and he began to count to three.
"I'm just saying, you should..."
"Oh, for Christ's sake!" he exclaimed, cutting her off and throwing down his cutlery again before banging his palm on the table, causing the plates to clatter and Riley, Danni and Josh to jump with fright.
"I already told you, we'll talk about it later! Is that too much to God damn ask for?" he asked, furiously, standing up and storming out of the kitchen.
He slammed the door of his study with such force that his framed record of Take This to Your Grave tottered precariously on the wall, and he heard Danielle burst into tears of confusion like she always did when Patrick lost his temper, although it wasn't often. Patrick leant with his back against the door, his hand clamped over his mouth as he breathed heavily and tried to steady his shaking body. He hadn't meant to lose his temper, he was just on the edge and Addison's questioning in front of the kids had made him snap. He felt as though all of his relationships were going to hell, that all he seemed to do lately with anyone was argue or be screamed at. How could a simple act of kindness in trying to help two of his best friends have caused so much angst and unbalance in his own household? He had become unbearable to be around, even to himself. The past few days had been a blur of the kids walking on eggshells around him, of Addison pulling away when he tried to be intimate with her, and he had even found her crying in the bathroom three days ago. He couldn't understand how everything had gone wrong, so quickly. Maybe Pete was right, he had been right all along. He had meddled and he should have stayed the hell away from it. He had just felt like he owed Pete some happiness, after all, Pete had been there for Patrick through everything that had ever gone wrong in his life since they had known each other, and he had wanted to return the favour.
Patrick could feel hot, angry tears building up in his eyes and threatening to fall down his face. He blinked furiously, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head as he leant it against the door. He had fucked everything up in a matter of three weeks. His marriage was on the rocks for the first time ever, his children were becoming scared of his snapping and his outbursts, and he was fighting with his best friend for the longest time throughout their friendship. Not to mention he had asked his best friend's estranged fiancé to come back into his life and caused all sorts of problems and truths to arise.
What had he done?
…and he was always human when he talked
But he still fluttered pulses when he said
"Good morning" and he glittered when he walked.
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