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The Male Side Of The Force

by AnthonyRatkov 0 reviews

Darth Odious launches an attack against the Intergalactic Feminist Empire. Darth Sappho senses the attack immediately, and realizes that a sinister male has perpetrated the attack against the femin...

Category: Star Wars - Rating: G - Genres: Sci-fi - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2014-04-27 - 836 words - Complete

The soldiers got into position, and prepared for the attack. One of them remarked to his comrades that he had waited a long time for this. "I've waited so long for this! Finally, after years of waiting we will be able to blast the Feminist Empire into oblivion!" His comrades laughed. They, too, had waited a long time to destroy the Feminist Empire. One soldier saw the outlines of the repair hanger on his view screen. He pointed to the outline of a ship. "There!" he said, "That is a class nine space cruiser! It's one of the most powerful cruisers in the Feminist Empire!" His comrades laughed. One man said, "Soon, it will be ours!"

The put their shuttle craft into low-speed mode, which was standard procedure for approaching a space station. They had already passed through all the checkpoints, by using stolen security codes. There was only one more thing to do. The commander of the ship had to disguise his voice. He took a microphone out of a box and plugged it into a computer, and said "I'll use this voice synthesizer to disguise my voice! To them it will sound like I've got a woman's voice!" After the microphone was plugged in, he opened a hailing frequency and hailed the space station's security center. He said, "This is shuttle craft X-39 requesting permission to enter repair garage." The computer converted his voice to a woman's voice, so the security officer in the space station thought it was a woman speaking. The security guard answered, "Affirmative! Shuttle craft X-39, you have permission to enter repair garage 234!".

The doors opened and they got inside and landed on a landing pad. The men got out of the shuttle craft and immediately began shooting. They shot anyone who stood on their way. The repair personnel didn't have a chance. There were no weapons in the repair garage, only tools and equipment for repairing space cruisers. In less than ten minutes, the gang of soldiers had gotten into the space cruiser and started it's engines. They took it out into space, and fired a missile at the space station before they left. The missile hit the space station and destroyed it, more than five hundred people in the space station were killed, most of them women. The men laughed and shouted as they flew away from the wreckage of the space station. The commander said to his comrades, "Well, men, we have accomplished our mission! We stole a space cruiser from the Feminist Empire and we also destroyed one of their space stations! Darth Odious will be pleased!" Another man shouted, "Darth Odious will be proud of us! Long live Darth Odious! Hail Odious!"

Meanwhile, on a planet thousands of light-years away, Darth Sappho was sitting cross-legged on the floor in a Yoga position, enjoying her evening meditation. Suddenly she felt a strange sensation, she felt pain, she felt anguish, she felt despair. Now she was in a troubled mood. She stopped meditating and she walked down the hallway to see Darth Nympho. Darth Nympho was sitting in a chair, and turned around to face Darth Sappho as she came in. Darth Sappho said, "Darth Nympho, I felt something. I felt a disturbance in the cosmic force." Darth Nympho said, "I felt it too. I could sense it. I could sense pain. Something terrible has happened."

Both women sat down and held hands, closed their eyes, and meditated together. After a few moments of meditation, Darth Sappho said, "I can sense the male side of the force. The male side of the force has brought this darkness upon us." Darth Nympho said, "I can sense the spirit of Darth Odious. He is the one who is responsible for this." Darth Sappho said, "That's impossible, Darth Odious was exiled more than ten years ago. The planet he was sent to is like a prison, it's so far away he'll never get out!" Darth Nympho said, "No! I'm certain of it! I can feel the presence of Darth Odious in the force! He is the one who is responsible for this!"

Suddenly a door opened, and a young woman came in. The woman was a high-ranking military analyst for the Intergalactic Feminist Empire. She said, "Lord Nympho, I am sorry to interrupt your meditation, but I have important news. A band of terrorists has attacked one of our space stations in sector X9-445, the space station is completely destroyed, and all crew members on board have been killed. A class nine space cruiser was stolen from the space station just minutes before the station was destroyed. A terrorist group led by someone named Darth Odious has claimed responsibility for the attack." Darth Nympho said, "Yes, I know." The woman asked, "How did you know?" Darth Nympho said, "The force." Darth Sappho turned to the woman and said, "Sound the alarm. All crews must report to battle stations. The war has begun. We are at war with the males."
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