FicWad

I had to work late this Saturday and close up at Petco where I have worked for the past couple of years. I mostly just sat at the register all day watching the snow come down. It was such a cold day in Chicago but it was the kind of day where the sun was out but the snow was still coming down in huge flakes, it was beautiful. Petco was mostly dead today because no one wanted to get out in this weather and buy anything for their pet or a new pet so I just watched the sun slowly fade until it was dark and the rest of my coworkers went home to their families or out to shop for Christmas presents leaving me all alone like I always had been. That’s a feeling I have never been able to shake for some reason, my life felt alone, but I was still happy.

I locked up and walked quickly out to my car my fingers quickly freezing up and my breath coming out in clouds. The snow had tapered off to little light flakes. I got in my old car and quickly started it and turned the heat on and buckled my seat belt. The scattered snowflakes on my coat began to melt and I shook the rest out of my hair. I turned on my windshield wipers clearing the snow pileup off of my front window. My favorite song on the CD I was listening to came on “Of All The Gin Joints In All The World” And I began thinking of the kid I had a crush on in high school and how I only talked to him once but I went to all his band’s shows, I've always downed myself for not talking to him more but I knew he was aware of me, now I know you were really aware. He use to eat lunch five feet away from me in the cafeteria, he was shy just like me. Sometimes I would even catch him looking at me.
I didn't even notice the song had ended and three other songs had already played I didn't even notice how fast I was going when I lost control of my car on a bridge. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. The Car plowed through the guard rail and the fall into the water felt like forever as I screamed as loud as I could. I quickly braced myself for impact to the rushing water below. Water began to pour into the car and it began to fill up fast. The Icy water touched my shin making it feel like needles as I fidgeted with my seat belt in panic. The water was already up to my midsection as I tried to open my car door. The whole car was submerged under the dark water and the inside was filling up rapidly, but for some reason the music was still playing and the radio was still lit up.
The door handle wouldn't open the door and I began to hit the windows in panic and frustration. The water rode to my chest making me lose my breath at the sheer coldness of it. That’s when it hit me, there was no way out. The water was reaching my neck and I took a deep breath and instantly my head was enveloped in the freezing water too. This may sound crazy but the radio was still lit up and playing and it was playing “Of all The Gin Joints.” Under all that dark water the radio was the only thing that lit up the submerged car.
I looked out the window into the dark water and my chest began to crave oxygen but I still held my breath prolonging the inevitable even as I began to feel dizzy. This was it I couldn't hold it any longer I felt so much pressure in my lungs leaving as I slowly released my breath, I inhaled feeling the Icy water fill my lungs and nose burning them I began to float to the top of the car. I don’t know why but I felt lonelier than ever and thought of the boy from school making me feel peaceful as his voice sang “I use to waste my time dreaming of being alive, now I only waste it dreaming of you.” It all felt as surreal like a dream as everything faded out