FicWad

Gerard pulled me to him and kissed my forehead.

“We should go, so we’re not gone too long.” I felt Gerard’s fingers lace in mine.

“Yeah sure, should we see if Frank wants anything?”

“I’ll just text him.” I saw him pull his phone out and type a quick message as we walked to the elevator.

I heard the door ding and the doors slid open. Gee was still texting so I looked to him waiting for him to notice. He hurriedly put his phone in his pocket.

“After you, princess.”

“That’s a new one. I swear you’ve got them all just tucked away waiting to use them.” I giggled.

“Oh trust me, I’ve got plenty. Some cute, some well… not so cute.”

“Do I even want to know--” I gasped as he pinned me to the elevator wall. The railing felt cold on my back as it sneaked under my shirt. Nervously I turned my head away. I didn’t know what to anticipate. I could feel the goosebumps parading on my skin. He took my chin and firmly directed it to look at him. His strong fingers dug into my jaw. My hair hung in my eyes but I could see his own, full of intent.

“Perhaps one day--’ he brushed the hair from my eyes, his hand still grasping my chin and his body pressed into mine. My heart rate was climbing. My pulse drummed in my throat.

“When I know you’re ready.”

“Ready for what?” I asked. Mind games, again? Was he just teasing?

“Aw baby, you know I like surprises. I don’t want to give everything away.” He kissed me hard. My rattled mind melted into a pool of him. I heard the elevator ding again. It startled me. Some people trickled in. In teenage like fashion, we slipped out of the way and into the lobby. Dodging glances and stifling giggles. Into the lobby and back out to the streets we went. We ended up deciding on a pizza place and walked the box back to Frankie’s room. Frankie let us in and we worked out a makeshift table on the extra bed. Nothing fancy. Eating like heathens right out of the box. A knock came to the door.

“Who goes there?” Frankie chortled.

I wiped my greasy hands and mouth half full I went to get it. I looked through the peep hole. It was Bob. I unlatched it and let him in. He looked exhausted. His lip was still busted but he had cleaned up. I walked back over to my food and sat down. Bob walked into the room. I heard the door shut behind him.

“Oh hey. Pizza?” Gerard asked.

“You look like shit.” Frankie smiled.

“Yeah I got into a fight with a hooker. The hooker won.” He said trying to joke.

“Seriously though what happened?” Frankie looked to us and back to Bob. Bob had his hands in the pizza box for a second slice and his mouth too full to talk.

“Ray happened.” Gerard answered for him as Bob sat next to Frank.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“As a heart attack.” I followed.

“How?!”

“Well let’s see.--” Bob took a moment to think. “There were about 3 or 4 empty liquor bottles by the time I went to go check on him. He was plastered and ignorant. Gerard had to knock him out. He came to finally about 20 minutes ago, a little disoriented but just wanted water and to sleep. It helped that he puked his guts out. Fucker made me hold his hair. I tucked him in, and gave him a bottle of water and a trash can by the bed. He’s gonna have the hangover of his life though.” he said that last part with a laugh.

“Aww you’re such a good boyfriend.” Frankie chimed.

“Oh fuck you.” he shoved Frankie in the head. I happened to look at the clock. Damn, it was almost midnight already. It had been one long ass day.

“Hey Gee, what time does our flight leave tomorrow?” Frankie asked, looking to him.

“I think like 8 pm.”

“Yeah that sounds right. I looked at my reservation online earlier today.”

“Wait what? Where are we going?” This was news to me.

“We have a about a week until our next show. We’re on the tail end of the tour and the rest of the shows are all 2-4 hours away from home. So we’re going home for a few days and back on the bus we go.” Bryar answered.

“We’re going home?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was going to but Iero brought it up first.” Gerard replied. I was in shock a little. It had been ages since I slept in my own bed. It had been tour buses and hotel rooms for going on 3 months now. With all that had happened I thought it was good timing to have a break. I sat there listening to them talk about what Ray had done, the shows to come. They supplied background noise to my busy head. My whole life was going to change. This was it. I decided I wanted him to stick around. I was in love with him. That alone was scary. In the beginning I thought it was maybe going to be just a tour romance. My teenage fantasy lived out and made real. I never thought we’d make it this far. So soon and we’d been through so much already. I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be different when the tour was officially over. I’d go back to working at the label, sure. How would we work out? We never even went on a date. Come to think of it he never really even asked me to be his girlfriend. The relationship I had with him was unspoken, assumed. I guess I didn’t need a definition just yet. He’s a lot to take on, but I made the promise. Gerard isn’t one single person. He’s a wide spectrum of personalities and qualities. He’s wonderful… and confusing. I guess we would have to figure it all out when we were home. I had to take this one day at a time. It’s all I really could do.

“You’re really quiet, Chrissy. Are you okay?” Frankie sounded leagues away, like an echo in my brain. Gerard waved his hand in my face to get my attention.

“Hey! Space case!” I snapped out of it at Gee’s words.

“Oh sorry. I’m fine. Just out of it. Long day.”

“That’s the understatement of the year.” he retorted. I looked at the clock again. Had two hours really gone by? No wonder I was out of it.

“Well I better go check on Ray, make sure he’s not at it again.” Bob cleaned up the remains of dinner. Frankie helped. Frankie walked him out as we said goodnight.

“Alright you star crossed lovers. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.”

“Fair enough. It’s probably time everyone get some shut eye. C’mon.” Gerard answered, taking me by the hand. I trailed behind him until Frankie tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to his open arms and he pulled me in. Iero hugged me tight and whispered into my ear.

“Be careful. For me.” he let me go and I nodded.


Gerard fiddled with the room key and got us in. He threw it on the desk and put his coat on a hanger. He tucked his hair behind his ear and looked to me. I was still standing by the door. I was lost in those famous last words. What I was I supposed to look out for? Was Frank implying something worse to come? I didn’t know. I didn’t like it either.


“Alright, spill. What’s on your mind? And would you mind sitting down? You standing there all zombied is kind of unsettling.”

“I’m sorry, its just everything is sinking in.” I kicked off my shoes and hung my jacket next to his. He was sitting on the bed working his own shoe laces. Leg crossed over another, he took the hand that wasn’t peeling off his Converse and patted the spot next to him. I sat down.

“What do you mean?”

“You just threw me for a loop today. Everything has. It’s been a pretty draining week.” I said letting my shoulders slouch. I caught a glimpse of his face. He looked a bit wounded.

“I know. I can’t apologize enough. Tell me what you need.”

“If only I knew.”

“Well that’s helpful--” His reply ever so sarcastic. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck gently. He rested his head on my shoulder.

“It’ll be better when we can get some time off. It won’t be so high pressure. Everyone knows you’re okay now. Which is a big relief. Ray, well, he will come down eventually. I think him and I have to have a much needed sit down. He’s held this in for so long. I can’t blame him. It is all my fault. I know everyone is still going to be protective of you. I can’t even be mad at them for it. I’m not perfect. I’ll be the first to preach to the choir on that one. I think I’m equal parts gentlemen, equal parts monster. I’m a gentlemonster.” We laughed at that together. He continued. “I know I’m not the easiest person to love but I will love you for as long as you let me. I want to prove to you though I’m fucked up sometimes I can make you happy.”

There it was. The reassurance I needed. It seemed like we were off of the emotional roller coaster for a while. I turned to him and kissed him.

“You will. I know you can. Flaws and all, from both sides. I’m here.”

“You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever known. Do you know that?”

“What makes you say that?” I asked, puzzled.

“You carry what probably feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders, yet you still manage a way to lift that weight off of mine.’

“That’s what loving someone is sometimes. Having the will to carry the both of you, when they can’t do it themselves.” For once I trusted the words that fell out of my mouth.

“I will always carry you.--” he kissed me. “Or die trying.”

I wrapped my arms around him. Lips locked and the key was nowhere to be found. There was no me. There was no him. Just the moment. I was getting lost in him again. I was more than happy to do so. Clothes found their way to the floor. It was so nice not to think. All I could do was feel. Somehow I never felt closer to him. He held me in his lap while I enveloped him tightly. Slow and steady, he looked me dead in the eyes. Kissed me, bit my lip and tugged. I bled a little but I didn’t care. He tossed me beneath him. Suddenly it became so intense, so primal. He had this sadistic twinkle in his eye. I could only imagine what he was thinking. I threw my head to the side and just like earlier tonight he took my chin again.

“Look at me!” He growled as he pushed into me, hard. I arched my back, gasping. He kissed me and held me tight. Our bodies sticking together, radiating heat. He leaned in and growled in my ear once more.
His words shocked me entirely.

“Such a dirty little fucking slut aren’t you?” he said going slowly, but thrusting one time, two times, three. This rhythm had me in painful anticipation. To my total surprise I actually liked what he had said to me. So I just went with it.

“Nngh. Yes!” he rewarded me a few more.

“Does my babydoll like it rough?”

“Yes Gerard, please just don’t stop. Ahh.” A few more thrusts, slower this time.

“You’re so fucking pretty when you beg.” Gee tangled his hands in my hair. No one had ever spoken to me like this, touched me like this, fucked me like this. I felt like he could split me open and I loved it. We kissed until our final moments. He collapsed into me with elusive breath. We lied there in silence for a while.

“I love you.” I broke the silence.

“I love you too.” He rolled over to my side and put his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair. We went quiet again for a bit. His eyes were heavy lidded. We drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to find we had switched spots. I rubbed my sleepy eyes against his chest. He pet my hair.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Morning.” I said, still half asleep.

“How are you feeling? I hope I didn’t go too far last night.”

“I’m good, fantastic even. You didn’t.”

“Are you sure? I just wanted to let you know when I say things in the moment I don’t always mean them. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.”

“I didn’t take it personal. I actually found it really attractive.” I said, adjusting my head to look up at him as I spoke.

“Oh is that so?” his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, it is.” I bit my lip and smiled. I couldn’t help but blush.

“I may have to use that to my advantage.--” he kissed my forehead. “Well now you’re awake, I’d like to go get us some breakfast.”

“I can go with you, round up everyone if you want.”

“They can fend for themselves. I want to share with you. Now before I get up and get dressed do you need anything?’

“A shower. Currently my legs still feel like jello from last night.” Jokingly I reached out with grabby hands.

“Carry me?’ I asked playfully. To my surprise, Gerard moved himself from under me. He scooped me up from the covers and toward the bathroom. He set me down on the bathroom rug, steadied me so he knew I could stand on my own. He kissed me once.

“Sugar, didn’t I tell you? I will always carry you.”