FicWad

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot bunny, which is a small dust bunny that I made from the lint from my clothes dryer. It's so cute and it belongs to me! Jeje. Oh and the song is "Hanging By a Moment" by LifeHouse, don't own that either.

Title: Hopelessly in Love

Authoress: AshenWolf

Rating: Pg-13

Warnings: Slash. Don't like? Turn back now. If you flame me for slash, you will be ignored, so I guess you're welcome to flame.

Pairings: Yami/Yugi (main) and Yami/Anzu (side)

A Thank You and a Dedication: I'd liked to thank my good friend RealmOfDarkness (Paz) for always being there for me and encouraging me to write and publish my story. She was my beta and I dedicate this story to her. Thank You. Hiya Paz!

On with the show...

"Hopeless in Love"

Yugi Pov

Desperate for changing

Starving for truth

Closer to where I Started

Chasing after you

I watch as you talk with her. "Her", that's all I can get my mind to say, for it goes into complete agony whenever I think of the way that she hangs all over you as if you're already hers. You're not, youre' supposed to be mine.

My stomach clenches unpleasantly as I see your glittering smile directed at her. Usually I would pay or do anything for your charming smile, but right now it's tainted with the likes of her. That vile thing that I shudder to think you love.

I wish things could change. I know they never will, since you've known of her existence she is all you talk above. Her 'cool blue' eyes, her short 'wavy brown' hair, the way her nose 'scrunches' ever so slightly when she smiles at you. Its tearing me up inside to watch, but I have to know. I have to know if you truly love her or if it's all an act.

The truth...the sad truth is that I do not want to see the truth. The truth is you're not acting, I can see it in your shimmering crimson eyes. But I'm desperate and I know even if you truly are in love with the hideous creature, I will always chase after you, even if I chase silently. Even if we are strictly platonic, I will always long for your touch, your eyes, your smile, and oh yes that first kiss.

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

She bats her eyelashes at you and you respond with one of your own loving glances and put your hand upon her cheek gently. I bite my lip as you both lean in and kiss, a gentle first kiss. I almost scream in anguish as you make the tender contact. You pull away after awhile and just stare into each other's eyes, before pulling into another more passionate kiss.

I know I should leave, but I can't bring myself too. Tears that I've held onto for many months finally begin to fall as I can no longer hide behind the façade that my mind has made up. Deep down I knew you weren't acting, but my foolish hopes wouldn't leave me even when I knew it was only my heart holding onto them.

I stood there for awhile more until my silent tears began to turn into louder sobs. I stared at you as you broke the kiss and looked my way, obviously having heard me. There was concern in your eyes and something else that I couldn't recognize as you looked my way.

Even though I was totally heart broken I still loved you and the concern made that love increase ten-fold, but the hurt was still there and hope now completely shattered. You just stared at me a moment and all I could do was stare back. I finally couldn't take it anymore, when 'Her' looked my way also. I turned around and ran out the door into the cold night.

Forgetting all I'm lacking

Completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation

You take all of me

I hear the door open with a small bang as you try and come after me. I ignore you even as you call my name. I keep on running until I made it a few blocks down the street and I listen as your melodic voice diminishes from my range of hearing. I still can hear you, but it is all but faded. I feel so empty and unloved.

How could I ever have thought I had a chance with you, when you could have her? She's tall, fair, beautiful, smart, encouraging, everything a guy could dream of in a girlfriend. She has all that when I'm just too damn short, scrawny, dumb, ugly, and anything from encouraging; I can't even defend my self from anyone.

I guess I could give up on my dreams now. Those dreams were always so nice. I loved those dreams, though never as much as actually being with you in the flesh. You would ask to speak with me and tell me the three little words I would die to hear.

"I love you, Yugi..."

Then you would take me into your arms and kiss me and I would kiss you back and we would be together till the end of eternity. That would have truly been bliss. If only it could have been.

Now... I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I sit dejectedly on my favorite swing in my favorite park, right next to my house, our house. We live there together and I know I will have to face him tonight. Face his inevitable questions and stern gaze that I wish held love and not what I was sure to be scorn or resentment at my interruption of their first make out session.

I keep on hanging on to that moment where you slowly leaned in and kissed her. No matter how hard I try to erase it from my memory, to give myself some solace, I can't. It keeps replying in my mind like one of those silent films. Fresh tears begin to fall and I know longer care enough to hold them in...

Who cares who sees them? Let them see my pain, what do I care? I just lost the love of my life... my true love. The leaves on the ground swirl around me a moment as a gust of wind swept by. I stare up at the full moon for a moment and think about the love that should be mine, but isn't.

Yami Pov

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

I look into her eyes and I know she wants to be kissed, but her lips just don't seem to be as enticing as they were just a few hours ago. My mind roams to Yugi for some unknown reason. I have been doing that a lot, lately. Especially since spending all that time with him talking about Anzu. Now that I truly think about it, he never really liked talking about Anzu. He always seemed pained and uncomfortable about it.

Her eyelashes flutter and I'm brought back from my thoughts and I decide to humor her. Maybe I just need to kiss her to find the lost love I had for her, right? I gently place my right hand on her cheek and smile as she leans into it. We both lean in and our lips touched.

It was...well...it was...it was ok. It was alright as far as kissing went, I guess.

Not at all as perfect as I had imagined it to be. No where near the sparks and fireworks, but hey maybe it was just a dud. I mean fireworks can be duds, right? I decide to try one more time and kiss her once more, this time with more passion.

Hmm...Nope... didn't work.

I continue to kiss her, if only to make her happy. I have kind of lost the 'overbearing need' by now, but I do not think she has. I hear a heart wrenching sob from the doorway. I brake apart from Anzu and look to find Yugi there, crying uncontrollably. My own heart clenches as I see the pain and utter distress clearly written on his fair face.

"Yugi..." I softly mumble as I continue to stare at him.

For some weird and unexplainable reason, I felt guilty, as if I had betrayed Yugi, my hikari. But, why? All I did was kiss Anzu...

Anzu looks at me confused then follows my eyes to him. He abruptly turned and ran out. I just sat there shocked and when the realization set in that my Yugi just ran away in grief, I got up and went after him. I ran out the door letting it give a bang as I ran down the steps.

"Yugi...Yugi...Come back! Yugi, please!" I holler on deaf ears.

I watch as he gets farther down the street and turns the corner towards our home. I look back at Anzu's house and see her also looking down the street in concern. I turn to her as I decided that I wanted to go after him, even though I knew he probably wanted to be left alone.

"I better go Anzu...I'll... I'll see you some other time...okay?" I say in a distracted voice as all my thoughts are presently on my angel.

Did I just think 'angel'? Man, it's been a long night. I've never even thought of another man in that way, let alone Yugi. She just looks at me with a sort of regret, disappointment and annoyance burning in her now dull blue eyes. I turn from her and follow after Yugi, as if I actually noticed or cared about her reaction.

Yugi's Pov

There's nothing else to lose

Nothing left to find

There's nothing in the world

That could change my mind

There is nothing else

There is nothing else...

I sighed as the last of my tear supply finally gave way. I was too depressed to wipe the tear tracks running down both my cheeks from sight. I just slowly pushed from the ground causing the swing to go slightly back and forth. Not much, but it was no longer motionless and boring...boring like him.

Now there truly was nothing left. No one would be there in the mornings when I woke up and needed someone just to hold me. No one would be there to comfort me when I had to deal with the constant bullying I go through everyday at school. I could no longer depend on you, not anymore.

You had Anzu to love and take care of now and I just was there... in the way. I should just die and let you live your life in happiness, without my ever constant presence as your object of aggravation.

That's it.

It wouldn't only release you, my love, but me as well. This pain, this anguish will not got away, it never will, but maybe in death I will be finally able to find peace... some sort of asylum. My love for you is just too deep to recover from.

I will be ending this tonight. My pain will diminish before the sun rises in the morning.

I contemplate on the various methods of suicide, looking for the fastest and less painless technique, as the wind picks up again and the nearby swing gives a small creak from its hinges, which I fail to discern.

Yami's POV

Desperate for changing

Starving for truth

Closer where I Started

Chasing after you

I sit on a swing unnoticed near my love...yes my love. As I walked over here hoping to give Yugi some time I began to think of all the reasons why Yugi be so hurt over me kissing Anzu, why I felt guilty, and why I myself barely enjoyed what I supposedly been longing for.

At first I believed it to be that Yugi himself was in love with Anzu, but that couldn't be. I remember the mere mention of her name would cause him to scowl. I had never noticed the scowl, but now that I think about it, he did, quite often too. I began to realize that the reason I didn't love Anzu was because I loved Yugi. In fact, I've always love him and I wish to know why I only now figured out something that should have been so obvious.

The signs were there, they were everywhere really. The way he would look at me whenever he returned home from school or the sad look in his eyes every time I said I had a date. I had always wanted to stay home and be with him, but the urge to get my life going after spending 5 millennia in a puzzle was dominating all my senses.

Now I desperately wish I could take back that kiss with Anzu. I would happily never see her again if I meant I could change everything and be with my tenshi. I hesitantly place a slightly shaking hand on his shoulder, hoping not to startle him.

Yugi's POV

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I just have to come up with some lie as to why I was crying...something to throw Yami off if only a little bit. It's not like I can tell him the truth now. I wonder if he would notice if I wasn't there tonight. I wonder if...

"agh". I fell off the swing unceremoniously hitting the ground with a soft thud.

I turned around quickly wondering who touched me and in turn scared me half to death. Yami sat there on the swing next to mine with what seemed to be an apologetic look on his face. My eyes drifted to the hand still suspended in air. I gulp as I pick myself up slowly and wipe myself off. He just keeps staring at me and it's kind of unnerving. I lower my eyes to my feet.

Is he that mad at
me that he won't even talk to me? No that can't be it, if it were then why would he even be here. I slowly take a cautious look up from my old worn trainers and meet his blood red gaze. I'm surprised to find no disappointment or anger in the swirling depths, just... is that regret...? And...dare I even hope...love? No. Stop hoping Yugi.

It's not for you even if it was there in the first place. I quickly try my best to put an unreadable mask on my face, but I have no idea if I'm succeeding or not. I hold still determined not to be the one to run. Not this time. I would only leave if he asked me too. If he did then I truly would be crushed.

Oh why can't he love me back? A single tear escapes from my eye. Damn, I meant to hold that one in. Guess my reserves weren't as empty as I thought. I breathe in deeply, a bit apprehensive, as he slowly gets up from the swing and takes a step towards me.

Yami's PoV

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

I walk up to him and to my delight he doesn't run away this time. I gently take his left hand into my right hand and rub my thumb over his knuckles. His cheeks are still tear stained and another lone tear has left from his beautiful amethyst eyes. I stare into those swirling depths and see a confused look mixed with a tinge of hope. It wasn't much hope, but it was something.

I'm still not completely sure what I was getting myself into, but I knew that I was more than willing to find out. Now, if I could only get Yugi to trust me again, perhaps love me. I could only hope I wasn't completely misreading things.

I gently place my left hand on his cheek and brush my thumb over his small, delicate lips. He trembled slightly and I hoped it wasn't from fear.

"Yami...?" he tentatively says questioningly. I smiled shyly at him and leaned down. I closed my eyes as our lips met and moaned. This was how it was supposed to be. This felt right, more loving, more passionate, more...oh I don't know. It was just...in simple terms...amazing.

I heard him gasp in shock and stiffen before melting into my embrace and responded with just as much fervor as I was displaying. He unclasped his hand from mine and slid it behind me, bringing me closer to him, before locking his arms around my neck. Body to body, perfectly aligned. I wanted this. I always had and I know knew beyond a doubt that we were meant for each other. I love this moment. The first and sweetest moment in our lives as 'Yami and Yugi'...as a couple, and I cherished nothing more.

Yugi's PoV

Just hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment...

Hanging by a moment...

Hanging by a moment here with you...

At first I didn't know what to think and my surprise got the better of me as I stiffened, but then it registered: Yami was kissing me. My Yami, my true love was kissing me.

What about Anzu? I thought he loved her, I thought...oh who cares about her? He's kissing me, not her.

I counter passionately and pulled him to me before I placed my arms around his neck. I gave a little squeal of delight when he placed his own around my waist. This moment was the best, the one I lived only in my dreams away from reality.

Maybe life is worth living. I have the reason I was going to leave for right in my arms. I'm glad he came after me. I really might not have been here in the morning. All I know is that I was going to hold onto this moment for the rest of my life and even in death.

~Fin~

R and R please! It would make me so happy. - AshenWolf