FicWad

With a contract finally secured under their belt, Megadeth were supposed to enter the studio in about six weeks to record their debut album, so the band restarted the quest for a guitarist.
Dave's music was created to be played by two guitars, and although he could work around the issue in studio, it was clear that the live performances suffered from the absence of a second guitar.
Once again, it was Jay who came up with the solution, saying he had recently met an old friend whom he described as one of the most talented musicians he'd ever heard. Dave, anyway, wasn't completely ready to trust Jay's judgement again. Even though, after the initial anger, he had come to terms with the whole lawyer's débâcle, he didn't want to be let down again.

“C'mon dude, I know I made a mistake last time, but you can trust old Jay. Gar knows this guy too, he can confirm he's good. You do remember Chris Poland, right?”
“Poland? Of course, he was a good friend of mine. We used to play together, but I haven't seen him in a while. How is he?”
“He's doing fine, but he doesn't have a band at the moment; I can propose him to try for Megadeth. Trust me on this, dude, he's your man.”
“Tell me more about him.” Dave asked Gar.
“We met in high school and then played in the New Yorkers for about five years. Great skills, great attitude; give him a try, he really is amazing.”
“All right, Jay.” said Dave. “Ask this guy to meet with us.”
“You won't regret it, dude. Believe me, I've got your man.”

The band met Chris at the beginning of November after a gig; the guitarist had attended the concert to see first hand what Megadeth was like. After only two songs he made his decision; he went backstage to greet Gar and introduce himself to Dave and David.
“Jay made me listen to your demo, but you can only tell that a band is any good if you've seen it live.”
“Right. So, what's your opinion?”
“I want to join.”
“You seem very sure of yourself.” Dave replied with a smirk. “Come to our studios tomorrow and we'll see.”

It didn't take much to Chris to prove Dave that he had the chops and that, thanks to the jazz background he shared with Gar, he could add a unique nuance to Dave's songs. At the end of the day he had the job.
The band decided to go bar hopping to celebrate their newfound member and get to know each other better.
“How comes it took you so long to find a guitarist? Your band is good enough to attract hordes of musicians.” Chris asked.
“First of all, Dave is incredibly picky.” said Junior grinning.
“Second, L.A. is packed with lame glamsters.” replied Dave. “Finding a guitar player who doesn't look like a garish whore is a real struggle.”
“We had a great guitarist playing with us for a while, but he was the co-founder of another band called Slayer, so he could only fill in temporarily.” David explained.
“Well, that's understandable. He didn't want to abandon his own project.”
“I know someone who doesn't have such scruples.” grumbled Dave. “Someone who found a band that was about to record an album and dropped his old one without a second thought or any regard for his bandmates. That slut.”
“What are you talking about?” Chris inquired, before he saw Gar shaking his head and David mouthing 'Don't ask' behind Dave's shoulders.
For the next thirty minutes, the singer retold for the umpteenth time his story with Metallica. David had started to notice that every time he narrated it, Dave's tale acquired more and more epic tones. At that point, it sounded to him like a poem about a valiant king that had been dethroned by his evil allies, who put their unworthy pawn at his place. But the proud king wasn't defeated, he would soon fight back with his glorious army and rise again.

“Ok, what the fuck was that?” asked Chris once Dave had finished recounting and went to the restroom.
“This story has everything, doesn't it? Friendship and betrayal, glory and shame, nobility and cowardice.” David said. “Just don't joke about it when he's around, he takes it very seriously.”
“He hates those guys, especially the one who had nothing to do with his expulsion.” Added Gar.
“Is he always like this?”
“Well, one time when we were touring, I caught him writing on the walls of a toilet 'Metallica Sucks', 'Lars and James suck each other's dick' and 'Kirk Hammett takes it up the ass'. You get the picture.”
“You've got to be kidding me. It's like high school all over again.”
“Oh, I'm sure that once Megadeth takes off, he'll get over it.”

Just like Gar, Chris wasn't only an astounding musician but also a long-time heroin user; but while the drummer was mellow and haggard, the guitarist was strong and hot-tempered, probably thanks to his girlfriend, whose family owned a taco truck. The only thing that gave away his addiction was his swollen eyes, which seemed to be the trademark of every heroinhead.
It was Chris's healthy appearance that pushed Junior into trying heroin; he used to have mixed feelings of fear and curiosity toward that drug, but now the latter trumped the former. Anyway, he had the same distrust of needles as Dave and decided to just snort or smoke the powder.
“Back to the womb”, that's how the high had been described to him, and when he discovered how true that was, there was no turning back.

~*~

Neither of them had a clear memory of what had happened. She had come home with a bottle of good wine -her employers' present to celebrate the birth of their second child- and shared it with him. He had been half drunk already -alcohol was constant presence in the studio- but didn't refuse her offer.
They hadn't meant it to happen, it just did. They had been playing truth or dare, and in his drunken haze, he had confessed he had never gone down on a woman.
The morning after, all she could remember was his long silky hair in her hand, and his fingers laced with hers next to her head, and her grip getting stronger as he plunged deeper and deeper in her.
All he remembered was her taste and the softness of her thighs brushing his face; he remembered her sitting on him, kissing him and riding them both to orgasm.
The morning after, they couldn't even look at each other in the eyes. He dressed up quickly, even though it was a Saturday and he had nowhere to be. She stopped him before he could rush out.
“It doesn't have to complicate things.” Maria said. “It doesn't have to change anything.”
David nodded, but still left without a word.

~*~

Maria didn't go to many live shows like she used to, but there were a few bands that still managed to get her out of her house and into a small, stinky, windowless club full of people, and Flipper was one of them.
Waiting for the concert to start, she was sipping a cherry soda at the bar. She wasn't paying any attention to the two guys chatting next to her, when the name of her former band caught her ears; she stood still and concentrated all of her attention on their conversation.
“Never heard of them.” said one of the guys.
“They've been around for a few years, but only in the New York area, so their stuff was really hard to find. Now they got signed to a record label and have a new album out and they're touring around America. They should be coming here next month.”
“So you say they're worth a listen?”
“Oh yeah, their new album is called 'Evil for Good', check it out.”
“I'm sorry.” said Maria, interrupting the conversation. “I couldn't help but overhear. Do you happen to know... the names of the members?”
“Oh, there's two guys named Ron and Steve and two chicks named Cathy and Sue.”
Without another word, Maria swiftly moved out of the club and to the back alley. She leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, letting tears run down her face silently.

In the meantime, Dave and David were driving in the band's van with a group of friends. They had just dropped Sharon, Dave's 'convenience girlfriend', on her front lawn, passed out drunk.
“She's going to be very pissed once she wakes up.” David said.
“I don't give a fuck. First she starts a fight with Chris, which I have to quell before she gets her ass kicked, then she takes the wheel and almost crashes the van into a restaurant, then she finishes all the beer and falls asleep.” replied Dave. “I swear to God, if I didn't need a place to stay, I wouldn't put up with her insanity. That chick is batshit crazy.”
“I think that after tonight you can say goodbye to both her and her house.”
“Fuck that, I'll sleep in the studio. It's just for two weeks anyway.”
David looked in the rear-view mirror and saw his girlfriend Robin sitting by herself; he knew she was mad at him because he hadn't defended her against Chris, as she was supporting Sharon in her fight. He didn't really care anyway, he had been distancing himself from her after that night of sex with Maria.
He didn't feel guilty about cheating, but Maria had become a constant presence in his mind, and now touching another girl felt just wrong to him.
David and Maria had been avoiding any discussion about the subject, but it clearly was no way to settle the matter. They tried to pretend nothing had happened, and yet they couldn't even engage in conversation without blushing furiously. It was like trying to make the big elephant in the room disappear by sweeping it under the rug.

David didn't have much time to concentrate on his relationship with Maria, as the 'big day' was coming closer and there were still a few arrangements to make. Dave and David needed a place to stay when in Malibu, where there was the recording studio they were supposed to use, so Jay found Karat, a producer/sound engineer who was willing to both host the boys and help them make their album.
The day before the departure, there was just one last thing to be taken care of; Dave had been making plans for a week, and now it was time to break the news to David.

“You want Jay to be our new manager? That makes no sense at all. What's wrong with Maria?”
“Nothing, but Jay knows the right folks; he's got connections with many people working in the music business. How long do you think is gonna take Maria to build a good networking? She's almost an outsider.”
“But... she's a good manager, and she enjoys it.” Junior protested. “Why don't we just keep Jay as some sort of adviser? He doesn't need to become our manager.”
Dave narrowed his eyes at the younger man. “Why do you care so much? What difference does it make to you?”
“Why shouldn't I care? I mean, Maria is a good friend, right? And she's helped us along the journey.”
“Yes, she did, but she has outlived her usefulness.”
“She doesn't deserve that callousness. I'm sure there's a way...”
“Are you sure you don't have any ulterior motivation?” asked Dave crossing his arms. “Did you fuck her? Spit it out, Junior.”
“What? No!” Yelled David, but ultimately caved in under Dave's inquiring gaze. “Well, yes, but she wasn't with you anymore at the time, I swear. I know I should have asked you if it was ok, but I didn't mean it to happen...”
Dave chuckled and stopped David's apology. “I'm not angry for that. Hell, we're rock musicians, we're supposed to be sharing chicks. She's good, isn't she?”
“Don't say that.” replied David indignantly. “That sound so sleazy.”
“Oh God, you're not falling for her, are you? That's why you're taking it so personally. Well, sorry for ya, but I'm gonna sack her anyway, so don't get your hopes high.”
“I... I don't love her. She's like... a cool big sister to me.” David feebly tried to justify himself.
Dave stared at Junior for a few seconds and then burst out laughing, making the bass player very uncomfortable.
“Stop it, it's true!”
“Yeah, right.” the guitarist snorted , “You're lying. Either that or you actually came here from Alabama with a banjo on your knees and 'Oh! Susanna' in your heart.”
David stared at him without answering.
“It was a joke about inbred hillbillies and you fucking what you claim to be your 'big sister figure'.” clarified Dave.
“Yeah, I got that.” said David. “All right, I used the wrong words, but it really doesn't matter. You just shouldn't talk about her that way, it's debasing.”
“Oh, shut up, Junior, we're rock musicians speeding flat out on the rock'n'roll highway, ok? We're a bunch of junkies who abuse of themselves and everybody else around them. We snort heroin, drink Jack Daniel's straight from the bottle and pass around our girlfriends.”
“Even Diana?” David asked bitterly.
“Who talked about Diana?” snapped Dave. “Keep her out of this. I'm in love with Diana.”
“Oh, so we don't pass around every girl, there's a hierarchy.”
Dave looked at David with contempt. “How long have you been here in L.A., an year and a half? And yet you still think like a little farmboy from Iowa.”
“It's Minnesota.” Murmured David.
“Same shit. Tomorrow you're gonna pack your stuff and when Maria comes home, I'll ditch her for good. The debate is closed.”

When Maria came home, she found Dave waiting for her alone. David was already gone with all his stuff; he didn't want to face her, he didn't have the guts. Dave hadn't planned any special speech, he just hoped she would accept his decision without too much of a fuss.
“Hey, what are you doing here, helping David packing up?”
“No, he's done. I'm here to tell you that you're fired.” He winced slightly at his own words. Ok, maybe that was a bit too brutal.
“I'm what?!” she asked disconcerted.
“Yeah, I'm sorry, you've helped us a lot, but it's time we move on. We need a more experienced manager now.”
“And you're telling me like this? A few dismissing words the day before leaving?”
“Well, it's not like we legally hired you, we didn't sign any contract. We're under no special obligation to you.”
“Stop talking shit! Jesus, you're such a jerk.”
“Listen, Megadeth is my priority, ok? Sorry to hurt your feelings and all that, but I'm only doing what I've got to do for the best of my band.”
“Funny, you should know what it feels like being discarded like an old rag.” said Maria angrily.
“What's that supposed to mean?” growled Dave.
“Probably Lars and James did what they thought was the best for Metallica too.”
“Are you comparing yourself to me? Who the fuck do you think you are? I made Metallica, ok?” he bellowed. “I took that pathetic clump of pimply wannabes and turned it into a real band. They should kiss my feet for what I did for them!”
Dave crossed the space between them and leaned over Maria, who pursed her lips and looked at the enraged man in the eyes without moving as he screamed at her. She knew that pushing the Metallica button would make Dave go berserk, but she was so pissed at him she just didn't care. His vitriolic words didn't bother her one bit, as she had learned to remain unfazed in front of people trying to impose themselves by shouting or invading her personal space.
“Get out oh my house.” she hissed at Dave. He stopped his tantrum and stared at Maria one last time before passing her by.

Dave slammed the door as he left and Maria sighed internally. She sat on the couch and stared into space. She had really hoped she would have become Megadeth's official manager. Every time I get passionate about something, I end up losing it all.
The first time, when she felt lost and worthless, life threw at her the occasion to put her heart into something. The second time, when she was much more cynical and disillusioned, she stumbled once again by chance across another opportunity to do what she loved. And once again, it slipped away from her. Could she go back dragging her life around for a third time, waiting for someone or something to give her a purpose?
Maria closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, gripping the couch cushion so hard that her entire body began to shake.