FicWad

A week later.
Frank and Hadley both apologized. I accepted their apology. I wasn't one to hold grudges, but we weren't friends anymore. So all was well with that, although Frank had discarded Hadley pretty soon after our fight. I did, however, get great satisfaction out of seeing the slight bruising on his cheek.
It was a Sunday, and I was chilling at Gee's like usual. We had some Smashing Pumpkins playing, and Gee was sketching on his desk, little smudges of graphite covering him, while I read on his bed. That was the thing I loved about hanging with Gerard: we didn't actually have to be doing the same thing to have a good time. We could be doing completely different things and still cohesively have fun.
"What's that book about?" He murmured as he drew.
"So far, it's this guy who goes to boarding school, but he meets this girl and is totally fixated on her, and he starts smoking. That's all I know so far."
"Sounds lame."
"It's pretty cool so far." I shrugged. “She’s one of those damaged-yet-everyone-loves-her type.”
We continued on with our interests, and a while later, maybe an hour, Gerard's mom knocked timidly on the door.
"Come in!" He shouted. She fully opened the door as Gerard turned the music down.
"Jess, honey... Could I see you downstairs?" She asked timidly.
"Sure." I said in confusion, getting up and following her. A middle aged officer approached me. "Jessie Klark?" He asked. I nodded my head. "There's been an accident."
"What kind of accident?" I asked slowly. I vaguely heard Gerard come down the stairs.
"Your mother was in a car accident. She was pronounced dead on the scene. I'm sorry." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Please don't touch me." I whispered, shutting down. Not here, not here, not here...
He took his hand off of my shoulder. "When you're ready, there's some legal things we need to work out."
"Let's go."
"Are you sure, you just-"
"I said lets go, please."
"Of course." He led me away from the house, and we drove to the station. I won't bore you with the details, except for the fact that my mom left me $750,000 in life insurance. She must’ve had it going since I was born… I got home as soon as I could. I just wanted to break something. Like, badly. The first thing I saw was a family picture pre-dad’s death. I smashed it, and jumped on it for good measure, bending the metal frame beyond repair. Next I went into the kitchen, breaking glass, after glass, after glass. And then, when there were no more glasses for me to break, I broke the plates. Then the bowls. Glass flew, and I received a few minuscule cuts from small flying shards. When there was no more glass to be broken, I kicked over chairs and punched a hole in the wall. When I felt the pain in my knuckles, I suddenly fizzled out. My rage had dissipated. I went back to pick up the picture I’d broken earlier and looked at it, taking it up to my room with me. "How could you both leave me? I realize I haven't been around much, mom, but you had no right to retaliate like this." I sobbed. "And dad, fuck you. Who leaves a little girl and their mother alone like that?" I ripped the picture in a million pieces and laid on my bed, exhausted. I passed out for 14 hours. All 14 were filled with nightmares, but I couldn't wake up. It was extremely suffocating.
I woke up and groggily grabbed my phone. 4 messages from Gerard. 2 from Frank. And strange, one from Ray, who I seldom spoke with. I turned my phone off and went through the next week like a zombie, occasionally finding more shit to break. I was just so full of rage at random moments. Who gave two flying fucks about the money? I wanted my mom back. I wanted her to steal my fries, and tell me boring stories. I wanted her to comfort me when I'd be upset over the worst things. I wanted my mommy, and I wanted her now. I slept in my mom’s room the last couple of days, her scent keeping my nightmares away, until I couldn't smell it anymore. A few times people would knock on the door, but I just ignored them. The God-awful snow had finally arrived too, as if my fucking mom dying wasn’t enough. I put on something that might keep me halfway warm, and walked outside. The fluffy white shit was everywhere. I found the perfect spot, and laid myself out flat, letting the stuff cover me.
GERARD~
She laid in the snow, eyes closed, letting soft bits of white cover her pale face, and chestnut hair. Her cheeks and nose were a rosy pink. Was she sleeping? I couldn’t fathom why she would be out here like this; she hated the cold. She was burrowed in a black coat, a knitted skirt, dark leggings and snow boots. I watched her for a minute, trying to figure her out, yet again. “Jess?”
“Leave me be, please.” She said politely. “I’m imagining what it might be like to die.”
JESS~
“What it’s like for my mom now. Does she even have a consciousness of some kind, or is all of her just gone. It’s impossible to fathom to me, but I’m trying.”
“Will you please go back inside?” He asked, wiping the snow off of my face.
“Yes, but because I want to.” I nodded. He started to follow me. I turned and stopped him. “I’ll call you when I’m ready.” He hesitated, but nodded. Eventually, a day or two later, I turned my phone back on. More messages. I ignored them and called Gerard. He answered first-ring.
"Hey." He answered cautiously.
"Hi. Can you come over? Meet me in my room?"
"Of course. I'll be there in ten." We hung up. Countdown: ten minutes before possible salvation. I laid back down in my pajama pants and loose t-shirt with no makeup and waited. My door opened twelve minutes later. "What's all the glass about?" He asked.
"I got angry." I said simply. "Will you lay down with me? I need your presence pretty badly at the moment.” He nodded and joined me in my bed, wrapping his arms around me and singing that same song as before. When I woke up, he was quietly watching tv, arms still wrapped around me, keeping me warmer than I’d been in days. "You remember a couple months ago when you said I could run away with you?" I asked. He nodded. "Offer still on the table?"
"Listen, I know your mom just passed-"
"Died." I corrected.
"...died, but it's just not logical right now."
"Why not?" I asked, starting up into his beautiful hazel eyes.
"We haven't graduated-"
"And?"
"We have no money-"
"My mom left me a large life insurance fund."
"I just don't think it's smart."
"Suit yourself. But when the sun goes black, I'm leaving, and I don't know where I'm going. I just can't stay here." I said, turning my eyes back to the screen.
"Don't do that." He said angrily.
"Don't do what?"
"Don't make me choose!" He shouted. "It's not fair! I have a life here! My family is here!"
"I know. I just don't think you shouldn't offer things if you don't mean them." I said.
"I meant it... Just not right now..." He said. "And I hate that you're putting me in this position. I would never do that to someone I love."
"You love me?" I asked, surprised.
"Your so naïve sometimes." He rolled his eyes.
"I love you too." I said quietly. I had been sure for a little while, I just didn't think he felt the same. "But I'm still leaving." I yawned.
"You're impossible."
"You could always come back. Maybe you being gone for a little while would make Mikey come around."
"I can't count on that."
"Of course not. But you staying here isn't helping either..."
"My mom..."
"You know what? You take some personal time, and meet me at our bench to let me know." I got up, and started packing my stuff. When I turned around he was gone.
-
The night was cool, dark, silent. I waited at our bench, holding my bus ticket in my hand. I had one duffle bag. Inside the bag was a couple pictures I didn't destroy, a pillow, my bass and a couple day's change of clothes along with a toothbrush. I left the house as is, glass and everything.
My bus left in 45 minutes. If he didn't show in 25, I was gone. My hair hung down behind my back. My attire was simple: a loose t-shirt, some skinnies and my converse. Traveling clothes. I heard footsteps approaching.
Gerard. He came.
"Hi." I greeted, noting that he had nothing with him. That was a really bad sign… I basically already had my answer.
"Hey." His red hair fell into his eyes. I brushed it away, behind his ear.
"...So I guess this is goodbye?" I asked, feeling my heart drop into my stomach, and like I might possibly vomit.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. I nodded.
"Yeah, it's cool. I'll be ok." I whispered back, a tear falling down my cheek. I pulled his face to mine, and kissed him with all the love I no longer needed. Our first, and apparently only, kiss. He wiped my eyes.
"Don't go." He pleaded. "Don't walk away, 'cause if you stay, I'll help you through anything... until my heart explodes."
"Honey, I have to... I can't stay here, and more than that, I won't. I need to go somewhere I can fully start over, without being constantly reminded of my past." His hands started to shake.
"Then I guess we'd better get going." He smiled weakly.
"What?" I asked. "Don't do that to me, Gerard. I can't handle you stringing me along right now."
"I'm not. We just need to stop by my place, and I'm yours."
"What about your mom?" I asked.
"I can always visit, right?" He asked.
"Of course." I hugged his middle, and buried my face in his chest, still feeling the utter despair from earlier. "Ok." I said, when the fact that he was coming with me settled in. "Let's go." I handed him his ticket. He looked at me quizzically. "Just in case." I explained.
We stopped by his house, and he packed some comics, his art supplies, and basic necessities to get him to our next chapter. The bus ride was unbearably boring. "So where are we going?" He asked.
"California." I replied sleepily. He wrapped his arm around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder.
"First stop: hotel, and food." He said, his stomach growling. "Though not necessarily in that order..."
"And I'm assuming a smoke break is included in that?" I asked.
"You know me well; I'm antsy as fuck." His knee had been bouncing erratically since we'd boarded.
"Why?"
"I hate going into the unknown. I really do."
"I'll make it as painless as I can."
He nodded. "I trust you."
"Good. You know i'd never intentionally hurt you."
He nodded again.
"So, do you wanna live by the beach, or in the woods...?" I asked.
"I want to live somewhere busy. Like LA." He marveled.
"Ok." I nodded.
The rest of the ride lasted forever, and each stop Gerard pissed and smoked. I tried to sleep the whole time, although I wasn't lucky enough for that. And when I did sleep, my dreams were filled with monsters.
When we'd finally arrived, 12:42 pm, we stopped and checked in at a hotel.
"Ok, so food?" I asked as I dropped my bag in a corner of the room.
"Yeah. Yeah." Gerard yawned, plopping down on the nice, large... Comfy looking bed. "Or a nap first?" He suggested.
"Yes. Nap." I agreed. I went into the bathroom, and flung my skinnies off, changing into some spandex-like shorts. I was too self-conscious to change in front of him. I buried myself into Gerard's side on the bed, and we fell asleep faster than I thought possible.
-
"Finally!" Gerard said, plopping onto the new couch of our new apartment in none other than LA. As we'd been here a week, we found that there was no shortage of things to do in this city. And since we weren't in school, we tried to balance sight-seeing with lazy days. Gee was a little tired since we just got everything finished. Usually, shopping is fun... Until you have to furnish and entire apartment. I plopped down next to him, equally tired. Not exhausted, just a little fatigued. "You know, you're looking mighty fine right about now." He appraised. I chuckled, in my baggy Pokemon sweats, and hoodie with minimal makeup, he was hilarious. "I'm serious." He kissed me deeply and passionately. I still got butterflies. He moved to my neck, and his hands started creeping under my shirt.
"Mr. Way is this always how you break in a couch?" I asked, knotting my fingers in his hair.
"Well of course." He smirked up at me.
So long story short... We broke in the couch. We laid on the couch in our aftermath, and he dropped his arm over my waist and pulled me close. "I love you."
"I love you, too." I kissed his nose. I realized how lucky I was to have him, and I felt like the richest girl in the world, but not of money, of love as gay as that sounds. And all was fine and dandy, and we fell asleep.
-
The next morning I woke up at 8, and Gerard was still fast asleep. I tried my best to fall back asleep, but no luck. I got up and showered, and decided coffee was a good idea. I scrawled a note to Gee incase he woke up before I came back. I WENT FOR COFFEE. IF YOU SEE THIS BEFORE I GET BACK, GO BACK TO SLEEP AND ACT SURPRISED AND TELL ME HOW THOUGHTFUL I AM WHEN I RETURN. -XOJESS.
I left the note on the coffee table and walked to the shop, which was only two blocks away. Everything was so glamorous. I walked into the coffee shop, and the line was long. Great.
When I returned home, Gerard smiled and yawned.
"Thanks, sugar, you're so thoughtful. I'm so surprised!" He laughed. His bed head was so adorable I couldn't help but kiss him.
"Thanks, baby! By the way, your acting skills are really shitty." I chuckled. "So what do you want to do today?" I asked, plopping down next to him on the couch.
"I just want a lazy day." He took a sip of his coffee and ran his hands through his hair.
"I think I'm cool with that." I agreed. I flipped on the tv and got some Netflix going. We finished our coffee, and snuggled up under the blankets. Then we played some Magic The Gathering over lunch.
"Jess?" He asked.
"Gerard?"
"We need friends."
"I agree... But how? How does one make friends… Especially in LA?"
"Let's worry about it later." He said, kissing me.
I giggled. "Ok. But no more breaking the couch in. The bed however..." We ran like giddy children.
As we laid together in a sweaty heap, I ran my finger over his arm. "So you realize you can't ignore your mom forever right?" His mother had left a ton of messages and called a million times, but Gerard only replied with an IM FINE. CALL YOU SOON.
"She's gonna kick my ass without even touching me." He groaned.
"She's worried about you." I said softly.
"I'm gonna go call her." He sighed, "I'll be back." He got out of bed, his white ass in full view while he slipped his boxers back on. I giggled quietly.
When he returned he was even paler as usual.
"She's so, so pissed." His hands shook.
I pulled him in and wrapped my arms around him. "Whenever you're ready to visit let me know."
He nodded.
-
Gerard sketched in our room, and I snuck up behind him, kissing his neck. He hesitated.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“…I think I’m ready for that visit…” He said, removing my arms from his body.
“Ok, I’ll go book it. How long do you want to stay?” I asked, fiddling nervously with my hair.
“4 or 5 days.” He said, focusing on his work. I nodded, and went to book his flight.
“You leave at 9 tonight.” I said quietly as I returned.
He nodded curtly, and begun packing. I excused myself, and went to cook us some dinner. After our lasagna, I drove Gee to the airport, and walked him to his terminal.
“Ok. I’ll see you in five days.” I smiled as best I could, hiding my hurt at his distant behavior.
“I’ll be back.” He nodded. I kissed him, and he half-heartedly returned my gesture.
“Have a safe flight…” I said as he walked away. I laid on our bed at home, pondering if he actually intended to return to me. Oh how easy it would be to just miss his flight home. I wouldn’t blame him. I would just miss him. I finished the book I’d started at his home all those days ago, and fell asleep. Those damn monsters were back. I dreamt of desert, and an ugly man torturing me. I woke up in a cold sweat. Then, two days later, nothing from Gerard, the Helium War started.
Notes

I know that the lyrics above from Summertime are not correct, but the correct ones didn't fit in this story.
And enjoy this frilliness, because there won't be anymore for a while. On a side note, I know the last half of the chapter sucks, I just needed a transition into the second half of the story, and couldn't find a way to make it sound decent.