Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance


by xx_eddi_xx 2 reviews

Gerard attempts to tell Bandit a bedtime story.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Gerard Way - Published: 2014-12-04 - 571 words

“Once upon a time there lived a little pretty princess named Bandit--”

“Dad, you can't give the princess my name. That's so stupid.”

“Hey, stupid's a mean word. What should her name be, then, if not Bandit?”




“Um...why Bob?”

“Do YOU know any princesses named Bob? It's quite original if you ask me.”

“Fine. Once upon a time there lived a little pretty princess named Bob. Now, Bob was not JUST a little pretty princess. He was a--”

“She. Bob is a girl, Daddy.”

“...But Bob is a boy's name.”

“Daddy, if you don't cut it out, I’m gonna tell the whole wide world that you are a sexist.”

“I'm not a sexist!”

“Then allow Bob to be a female!”

“Fine! Where was I, now?”

“'Bob was not just a pretty princess.'”

“Okay. Bob wasn't just a pretty princess. She was also a witch.”

“Again, Daddy, with the sexism.”

“How was that sexist?!”

“Why can't she be a wizard?”

“Because she's a gi--”

“See! Sexism!”

“Okay! Bob was also a wizard. And he could--”


“And SHE could control people with her wizardy powers. She was extremely strong in the fields of beauty and intellect and she was just the prettiest and smartest little princess that ever lived.”


“Yes, Bee?”

“That's not very kind to the lesser-blessed people in the world who aren't as pretty or smart as others.”


“Daddy, keep going. You're doing great.”



“Bob was a normal girl. She didn't have any powers. She wasn't pretty. She was pale and scrawny and had frizzy blonde hair and huge buck teeth.”


“WHERE do you see RACISM?”

“Pale, blonde hair—Bob is apparently WHITE in your world, when in fact, the likelihood of her being another race is much more plausible. THAT is racism.”

“Bob was normal. She was a very normal little mixed-nationality girl.”

“Why does she gotta be little? Are you saying that in order to be a princess that you hafta be little? You could be a grown-up! Look at Princess Diana!”

“How do you even know who that is?”

“Daddy, I can GOOGLE.”

“Can I continue with the story?”

“Yes, please.”

“Bob was a very normal mixed-nationality female.”

“Y'know, normalcy is only what society tells us is acceptable. Why does she gotta be normal?”

“Bandit, would YOU like to tell the story?”

“You know I can’t do that! You're the Daddy, YOU are supposed to tell the stories.”

“Now that right there is role-ism.”


“Yes. When one assumes that people must do things assigned to their specific social role. Role-ism.”

“You made that up.”

“I did not. You can go Google it.”

“! Cos I think you're tricking me!”

“Am I?”

“...I don't know! Daddy, just tell me the story.”

“Sorry. No more feeding into role-ism today. Besides, you've got school in the morning. Time for bed.”

“THAT'S role-ism! Saying I must go to bed because I’m the kid!”

“Fine, don't go to bed. Stay up.”

“...reverse psychology is mean!”

“I'm not pulling tricks on you, Bandit. Stay up. You're six years old, I think it's fair that you should be able to stay up as late as you want.”

“I'm going to bed, but not because you told me to!”

“Okay, honey. I love you.”

“I love you too, Daddy. Goodnight.”


“Oh, Daddy?”


“For the record, Mom still pwns at story-telling.”
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