FicWad

"I remember something life changing. It was early January of 1965 and we had just returned from Maryland. One of my regular customers just dropped me off. Before he let me out he planted a possessive kiss on my lips. Of course I was disgusted but it was my job to like it. My male clientele felt I belonged solely to them and no one else. After that he had given me something life changing. I got out of the car and walked home. When I got there I took a bath and went to bed. I awoke At ten that morning and took another bath and cleaned the house. At noon the gang came over. I let them in and brought them to the living room. I placed four sugar cubes on the table. Deena said that she was scared. I reassured her that LSD wasn't life threatening. Being the naive child I was I prone to telling whatever I was told to someone else. Deena wanting to try something different picked up the fourth cube."

"I showed them what to do and soon went on a psychedelic voyage. During my personal experience I hallucinated and walked to the backyard and dove in the pool. For the longest time I thought I was drowning. After fifteen minutes I got out of the pool and walked back inside the house. I sat down next to Alvin. I then started to see multiple colors. We sat around the entire time asking if we saw ghosts and adults in the house. Hours after the affects wore off we began to practice singing. We were completely out of whack for the first hour but got it right by the second hour. I told them that I hope we wouldn't become a drug band. Deena said that she would make sure we didn't. People who knew of Alvin's love of food could mix marijuana and get him mentally incapacitated. We wouldn't let that happen so that was our first and last psychedelic experience."

"On my eleventh birthday my friends came over and cooked me dinner and baked a cake. I didn't like expressing how I felt so I remained silent although Alvin swore he heard me say thank you. They spent the entire day with me. It made me feel for the first time like we were actually a family. I wouldn't tel this this for another four years however. In February we went on a field trip to a history museum. I wasn't really the school type so I just stood with my arms folded with a toothpick in my mouth. As Ms. Murphy explained whatever it was we were looking at my mind drifted off to other places. I remember one instance where I saw Alvin looking at me. I didn't know if he liked me or not and went to ask him. He looked shocked when I did and said no. He then said he knew how much I disliked gay people and that was a dumb thing to ask especially him. At the time I wasn't aware of Alvin's bisexuality so I just thought it was a normal stare."

"During our little talk I hear the class screaming and cheering. I look over and see Deena fighting one of our classmates. She was whopping her ass. To me it was one of the most iconic moments for Deena. She stood for herself for the very first time even thought it wasn't me. I could still remember Deena wearing a victorious smile. The following Monday we had to do a one page paper on what we found interesting in the museum. I wrote about the film industry in the 1930s. I got an eighty-seven on it and p. Like I said before I wasn't the school type but I did believe in striving for excellence. There were times I forged my mothers signature to make it appear as if she saw my report card or progress reports. We spent the entire month of February harmonizing. We had written some new material. I wrote a song called Downward Spiral, Kimberly wrote Psychedelic Firefly, Deena wrote Flying Nightingale and Alvin wrote Priceless. We didn't tell each other what each other had written because we wanted to surprise one another. March had arrived and everyone was talking about going away for spring break. The day before break at recess Alvin said he was going to Annapolis, Maryland to meet his paternal grandparents."

"I stated that while he was away Kimberly, Deena and myself were going to rehearse as if he were there. I said that I would sing his part. Alvin then suggested that I rearrange the voices. I said that I was already going to do that. Then he sarcastically asked if I was going to rearrange the voices why was I going to rehearse the song in his range. I told him to shut up and they all laughed. I just grunted and said whatever and looked off into the distance. Just as fast as the day started it ended and Alvin was on the road. It was me and the girls. That Monday we began harmonizing at eight in the morning. I was adamant about this. I didn't want Deena or Kimberly singing lead because I felt their voices weren't as strong as Alvin's. Because of that Kimberly and I verbally clashed. That Wednesday our arguing had come to a head. I had gotten in Kimberly's face and told her she sounded like a beached whale off the Atlantic Ocean."

"That broke it for her and she tackled me to the ground. We rolled around with me me having the advantage. Nonetheless she gained dominance and hit me in my ribcage and face. Deena didn't break it up for one reason. She felt that a brawl between us was very much needed. After that we worked out our kinks and the girls sang lead until Alvin returned. Upon his return the following Friday he was ill. I still pushed him to sing and Kimberly ate me up for it and told Alvin to take a rest. I was pissed because I thought we all wanted stardom. They then walked Alvin home. I stayed behind because I was in a stupid funk. I found later during the week that Alvin had strep throat and a fever. I didn't visit him at all because that was my way of not worrying and just being me. When Alvin got better I got him back to work. Kimberly told me I couldn't just force him to start singing right away. So as we sang Psychedelic Firefly in our chest voice Deena was loud and clear. I couldn't believe it."

"She was stealing the spotlight from our two lead vocalists. Although we were singing in close harmony she still outwitted us and took a big leap with her voice. After we finished we looked at her. She looked at us with a blush and asked if something was wrong. We just looked at her. It was the second time that happened. The first time was while Alvin was ill and it was just the three of us. This time she had more force behind her voice. It was still delicate and toasty but it had a different timbre than before. We practiced for an hour and called it a day to give Alvin's voice some time to return to normal. In June we traveled to Ella Mona to visit Mama Valery. I was devastated when I heard that her dementia had worsened. The doctors said she had a few months left at best. We all hoped she would live to see our stars rise. We sang for her and she just clapped along screaming out her deceased husbands name. From what Kimberly told us he always sang to her on dates and on her birthdays. I couldn't emulate the same voice he had but I just wanted to see her smile. We sang the four songs we wrote in February but Psychedelic Firefly was laced in subtext because we didn't want to tell anyone what we had done five months ago. We went to the streets and began singing. It was the same routine like in San Fran where people cursed us out, spat on us and it ended with a brawl."

"We sang from eight in the morning until eight at night. We were so dedicated to wanting to make it that that December I almost caught my death singing in the cold jacketless. We stayed in Ella Mona for a month and in July we returned to Kingsley. The following day we drove to San Francisco and sang on street corners. We wore outfits that represented us individually. Two people stopped and listened to us. In our group our voices were distinctive and powerful. Alvin and Kimberly were powerful on leading vocals while Deena was appreciated more on background vocals, or so I thought. Her leading vocals impressed me later on. Deena's contralto voice is what made our harmony unique. We returned to Kingsley that August and was stoked. We had gone two listeners. It was less than five but more than zero. We had a little celebration at my house. We turned on some music the others danced. I just stood leaned up against the wall bobbing my head to the rhythm."

"Kimberly grabbed my hand and tried to pull me into the middle of the livingroom to dance with her. I blushed but nonetheless had a groovy time dancing with her. We sat down after dancing for an hour to look at television where we saw the Cass Discovery was on. The host had just introduced an up and coming girl group. They had there here in banged flips with purple sparkly dresses.I promised my friends that in a few years that would be us up there. They looked at me smiling believing my word. I wasn't the most emotional person but I knew they valued my opinion a lot and they also knew I wouldn't lie to them. We watched the Cass Discovery for the next hour in silence. At eight thirty I walked my friends to the front door and bid them goodnight. After they left I walked to the corner to start my shift. I was tired of doing this in order to survive. I hoped that stardom would come soon. An hour later I was dropped off at the corner. I noticed two my clientele just did the deed and dropped me off."

"I started wondering if I was starting to become dry because if that was true I'd be out of work would and up shits creek. My next customer came and he drove me to his house. There was this new trick I learned and wanted to try it on him. As I worked my magic I saw his eyes roll in the back of his head and I smiled victoriously. I didn't think it would work since I was a just a child, but that proved that age didn't mean anything. He brought me home the next morning at six thirty. I walked home took a bath and got dressed. The next morning I awoke with a renewed spirit. It was a new school which meant new opportunities to be discovered. I grabbed my backpack and met up with my friends who were outside the gate in front of my house. We walked to school and Deena noticed that I smelled really good. I told her it was a new cologne that I had just bought recently. When we get to school we are stopped by a group of older kids."

"We looked at them with fierceness. They called themselves trying to intimidate us with their height but we didn't flinch once. The leader stepped forward and brought my night activities to the light. I believe in my heart that my friends hadn't said anything. I found out it was a girl in the school. I went to find her. When I did she was in the library. I gave her a piece of my mind. She thought I was wrong and told me that I should've been more discreet about my private life. I laughed and told her that she would grow up to be a cheap whore who would be a street walker. Kimberly and Deena stood at my side just in case she tried to hit me. The girl must've felt frightened because she looked Deena and Kimberly in the eye and walked off down the hall. We then walked to the cafeteria where we saw Alvin talking to a boy. It looked like they were discussing academics because I saw papers in both their hands. We walked to the breakfast line and grabbed a few things. When we got to the table Alvin joined us. He said that the boy he was talking to was new and was wondering if I could show him around.

"Deena looked in the direction of the boy and said he looked lonely and scared. Alvin then reigned Deena back into conversation by saying that he was from Louisiana and that things were completely different. I said that the south was behind industrially as well as educationally. Deena elaborated by saying that after the reconstruction era the American South was never the same. She said that they were stuck in their old ways and used to an agricultural way of life that industrialization of the early twentieth century destroyed their regional economy. We all looked at her with our eyes lowered. She said that it was in her contract as our friend to be herself and that she loved reciting historical facts. We sat in the cafeteria for another twenty minutes and the bell rang. We walked to our home rooms. Alvin, Kimberly and I were in the same homeroom. Deena on the other hand was by herself. I hoped she was okay because she wasn't a talker at all even around us. Our teacher handed us our schedule."

"I passed my schedule to Alvin and he looked at me smiling. We must've had some classes together. Kimberly passed her schedule to me as did Alvin. I compared there's and found that we had three classes together. It wasn't entirely the same but we got to be together for some time during the day. We sat in homeroom for thirty minutes and headed to our first period. I had reading. Alvin and Kimberly weren't with me and I didn't see Deena either. I walked into the classroom and took a seat. I saw Lucille Mortenson staring at me. She looked interested in me and mugged her. I just ignored her and sat down. The teacher came in and sat her desk. She looked old and decrepit but nice. She introduced herself as Ms. Brewer. The class greeted her in unison but I didn't. I felt that I shouldn't have to address her unless I was asking her a question. She placed worksheets on our desks. It was a introductory assignment. I didn't want to talk about my personal life, I felt it was none of her business. I just wrote my name, my birthday, favorite color and my hobbies which was songwriting and singing."

I decided to add some vibrancy by coloring around the outside of the paper. After that I put my crayons away in my backpack and put my head down and awaited further instruction. Ms. Brewer said that we had fifteen more minutes to finish the assignment. I kept my down until the timer rung and we started on another assignment. We did a warm up sponge consisting of mathematics, reading and science. Ms. Brewer was one to make sure we didn't lose ourselves over the summer break. I did the warm up sponge and put my head down. Ms. Brewer asked me to lift my head and I refused to. I wasn't a problematic child in school it just that I was always quiet and didn't want those kind around me. She didn't pressure me so I just kept it down. I thought it was backwards. I was used to doing the warm sponge first and then doing an assignment. Maybe her plan was to do this just for the first day and then the next day it would be normal. When she said time was up I lifted my head and tore my warm up out of my notebook and placed near the end of the edge of my desk. Ms. Brewer came by and collected my warm up. I had my head down but I was alert of everything around me. We transitioned for the next four hours between mathematics, reading, science and history. I couldn't wait for it to all be over. When the bell rang for lunch I walked to the cafeteria. I knew it wasn't high school but I thought it was a good idea to get to transition so when we got to high school it'd be a breeze. Kimberly and Deena were talking about their first day."

"They greeted me as I sat down with my tray. I greeted them and told them my day was pretty okay. Kimberly looked at me shocked. I was confused and asked her what was wrong. She said that she usually sees me scowling. I told them that my classes were pretty boring. They all consisted of the same thing except different subjects. They laughed and Deena told me that's how the first day of school was supposed to be. Alvin soon joined us and said that the new boy sure adjusted quickly to the new environment. I sarcastically told him he may have done more than get him adjusted. Alvin looked at me and said that he had done nothing out of the ordinary. I smirked and started eating my food. Kimberly then started discussing the Vietnam War. She said that she was against for several reasons. The two that stood out the most to me were soldiers leaving their families and innocent people's lives been taken overseas. Alvin was completely silent on the subject and I was curious to know why. Deena said that what's done is done and that the government will forever go out of their way to instigate another country's affairs and play the neutral card like they always had. I couldn't help but agree."

"Some kids were unaware of the governments affairs but the four of us knew more than what we saw on television. It just made think what else could they possibly be hiding. Looking back on it I didn't think we'd be so observant. I grew to like lunch because we could share our academia opinions with each other without fussing. I thought that was also what helped propel our friendship and make it stronger. The bell came to soon and back to class we went. I was never active in class discussion and it pissed my teachers off. I didn't care one bit because I learned growing up with my mother and in foster care that no one gives a damn about you. Teachers weren't nothing but gateways to brutal ass whoopings from you parents or them themselves. I kept quiet and did the assignment. When school ended Deena asked all of us what we learned in class. When I didn't speak she got this concerned look on her face. I told her I didn't like partaking in class discussion. She asked why and I told her people only wanted to hear your opinion and did judge because it wasn't what they wanted to hear. I didn't have time for that and that wasn't what I was there for. Boy I couldn't wait until I completed grade school. College really wasn't on my mind at the time. Stardom is what I wanted longed to achieve with my friends."

"When we arrived at my house Deena told us to start on our homework. She was a real resident mother. She made sure we were bruise free healthy and mentally full. I didn't mind it though because I knew it needed it to graduate and get the hell on with my life. After we finished our homework we decided to collaborate and write a song together. We named it Four Friends One Dream. When we started singing that particular song we made sure our harmonies were in contrapuntal motion. Once it was set all we needed were bass, piano and Alvin's beautiful harmonica.As usual Kimberly had some opposition. She didn't like how she and Deena were coming in on the lower half. I told her she was a soprano and she had to make it work. She told me that wasn't happening and that it was extremely difficult for her to reach the low notes. I sighed and told her that Deena would have to up her voice to keep up with hers. I could see on Deena's face she wasn't for it but if we wanted stardom we had to sing things and make them sound good no matter what. At around eight o'clock they left and began my night activities. It was really starting to get old. Stardom where are you I would think as I climbed into one of my customers cars. It seemed so close yet far out of our reach."