Categories > Movies > Star Wars
The Origin Of Darth Ninja
0 reviewsNin-Chow visits a show with his girlfriend. The exhibits he sees at the show causes an explosion of rage and anger, and Nin-Chow decides to follow the path of evil, he becomes Darth Ninja.
1Original
Nin-Chow was surprised when his girlfriend asked him to go to a feminist culture show. He was under the impression that only women were allowed at shows like that. His girlfriend assured him that men are allowed, too, although she admitted that there wouldn't be many men at the show. She said that there might be about a thousand women at the show, and maybe a dozen men. Nin-Chow asked what the feminist culture show was all about. His girlfriend said that it was a celebration of the advent of feminist culture. All the exhibits at the show were intended to show different aspects of feminist culture.
When they got into the exhibition hall, there was a sign on the wall that said "No Unattended Males". It meant that males could not get into the show unless thy were accompanied by a woman. A female security guard looked skeptically at Nin-Chow, and asked, "Is he with you?" Nin-Chow's girlfriend said yes, so they let him in. Nin-Chow was impressed at how colorful the show was. He had expected to see feminist fanatics giving boring speeches, but instead, the show was wild and perverted, like something from the criminal underworld. There was plenty of drugs and pornography. First of all, Nin-Chow had to ask what the pornography and drugs were all about.
His girlfriend said that some feminists believed that pornography was useful as a brainwashing tool. They insisted that since men could be brainwashed with pornography, women should use porn to control men. As they walked down the aisles of the exhibition hall, Nin-Chow saw booth after booth filled with pornography. The booths, over a hundred of them, had every kind of pornography you could imagine, they had pornographic movies on video cassettes, DVD's, and Tellurian data crystals. Their porn collection was huge, they had porn that had been collected from all over the universe.
Nin-Chow also saw booths that were selling drugs. He pointed to one booth, and asked his girlfriend, "What is that stuff? Isn't that illegal on this planet?" His girlfriend said, "Some feminists believe that drugs can be used to brainwash men. They believe that if a woman gives drugs to a man, she can brainwash him easily. All types of intoxicating drugs including narcotics, are used as tools of mind control by the feminists." Nin-Chow raised his eyebrows at that. He said, "So, these feminists will use anything to control a man! They'll use drugs, pornography, or anything they can find to control a man's mind?" His girlfriend said "Yes, the practice of mind control is one of the pillars of the new feminist culture".
At another booth, Nin-Chow noticed a man who was up on a stage. The man seemed to be the center of attention, and a woman was giving a speech about him. The woman was pointing to a collar around the man's neck. Nin-Chow asked, 'What's that?' His girlfriend said, "This exhibit is a display of control collars. On some planets, where slavery is legal, a woman may own a male slave. She can put a control collar on his neck, and the collar makes her slave more obedient". Nin-Chow asked how the collar works. His girlfriend explained that the collar produces a powerful electric shock, if the man disobeys an order. He learns to fear the shock, so he becomes more and more obedient after wearing the collar longer and longer.
Some of the means of controlling men were subtle, like the drugs and the pornography, but some of the control systems were very robust, and had very explicit functions. Nin-Chow found it a little unnerving to see how many ways that men could be controlled by women, and he was actually a little glad when they reached the end of the building. When they were about to leave the building, Nin-Chow's girlfriend asked, 'Is there anything else that you'd like to see?' Nin-Chow said, "Yes, there is! I'd like to see you die!" Nin-Chow pulled a gun out of his pocket and shot her in the face. She fell dead on the plush carpet.
Nin-Chow muttered a curse and he walked back into the show. He pulled another gun out of his other pocket, so he had a gun in each hand. His guns were pulse pistols. Instead of firing bullets, they fired lethal pulses of proto-electric energy. The pulse pistols were virtually noiseless, and each pistol was so powerful, you could fire thousands of charges with it, before it ran out of energy and had to be recharged. Nin-Chow walked through the show, firing his pulse pistols at women, and watching them fall all around him. He wanted to kill as many women as possible. After he killed about a hundred of them, he headed for an exit. Since the pulse pistols he used were noiseless, it took a few moments before most people in the building realized what had happened. Nin-Chnow hid in some shrubbery outside the building, and watched as terrified women ran from the building. Soon, he heard sirens, they were police cars, and the sirens of ambulances.
Nin-Chow walked nonchalantly along the street, as if nothing had happened. Suddenly a car pulled up, alongside him. The window of the car opened, and a man inside stuck his head out, and shouted, "Are you insane?" Have you lost your mind?" Nin-Chow looked at the man, and asked, "Who are you?" The man said, "Just get in, I'll explain later!" Nin-Chow got into the car, and the man drove away. As the drove, the man said "What you did in there was crazy! There will be hundreds of policemen here in a few minutes, and they will all be looking for you. I was sent by Darth Odious to pick you up, Nin-Chow." Nin-Chow said, "How do you know my name?" The man said, "I work for Darth Odious, he has spies everywhere on this planet. We heard on the news that there was a crazed gunman who went on a shooting spree at the feminist culture show, and so we figured it was you. We got here as fast as we could."
Nin-Chow was taken to a secret garage, and he was put inside of a space cruiser. The space cruiser took off, and went to a small base on an asteroid, in an asteroid cluster that lies inside a nebula. Inside the base, he met Darth Odious. Darth Odious had just returned from exile, and he had been forming an army. The purpose of the army was to destroy the Intergalactic Feminist Empire. Darth Odious had promised his troops that he would destroy the empire and he would restore male supremacy to the universe. Darth Odious was quite candid when he spoke to Nin-Chow. He said, "I heard about you going on a shooting spree inside an exhibition hall, where women were putting on a feminist culture exhibition. According to news reports, you killed 114 women and wounded 37 others. Good work! I see you hate women as much as I do!"
Nin-Chow was still puzzled, He said, "Well, what do you want me for?" Darth Odious said, "I want you to join me! I could use a few good men, especially the type of men who hate women! I have a place for you in my army, if you want it, and I can also promote you to become a member of my elite guard. I think you have potential." Nin-Chow said, "Thank you." Darth Odious said, "I will give you an official title. From now on, you will be known as Darth Ninja."
When they got into the exhibition hall, there was a sign on the wall that said "No Unattended Males". It meant that males could not get into the show unless thy were accompanied by a woman. A female security guard looked skeptically at Nin-Chow, and asked, "Is he with you?" Nin-Chow's girlfriend said yes, so they let him in. Nin-Chow was impressed at how colorful the show was. He had expected to see feminist fanatics giving boring speeches, but instead, the show was wild and perverted, like something from the criminal underworld. There was plenty of drugs and pornography. First of all, Nin-Chow had to ask what the pornography and drugs were all about.
His girlfriend said that some feminists believed that pornography was useful as a brainwashing tool. They insisted that since men could be brainwashed with pornography, women should use porn to control men. As they walked down the aisles of the exhibition hall, Nin-Chow saw booth after booth filled with pornography. The booths, over a hundred of them, had every kind of pornography you could imagine, they had pornographic movies on video cassettes, DVD's, and Tellurian data crystals. Their porn collection was huge, they had porn that had been collected from all over the universe.
Nin-Chow also saw booths that were selling drugs. He pointed to one booth, and asked his girlfriend, "What is that stuff? Isn't that illegal on this planet?" His girlfriend said, "Some feminists believe that drugs can be used to brainwash men. They believe that if a woman gives drugs to a man, she can brainwash him easily. All types of intoxicating drugs including narcotics, are used as tools of mind control by the feminists." Nin-Chow raised his eyebrows at that. He said, "So, these feminists will use anything to control a man! They'll use drugs, pornography, or anything they can find to control a man's mind?" His girlfriend said "Yes, the practice of mind control is one of the pillars of the new feminist culture".
At another booth, Nin-Chow noticed a man who was up on a stage. The man seemed to be the center of attention, and a woman was giving a speech about him. The woman was pointing to a collar around the man's neck. Nin-Chow asked, 'What's that?' His girlfriend said, "This exhibit is a display of control collars. On some planets, where slavery is legal, a woman may own a male slave. She can put a control collar on his neck, and the collar makes her slave more obedient". Nin-Chow asked how the collar works. His girlfriend explained that the collar produces a powerful electric shock, if the man disobeys an order. He learns to fear the shock, so he becomes more and more obedient after wearing the collar longer and longer.
Some of the means of controlling men were subtle, like the drugs and the pornography, but some of the control systems were very robust, and had very explicit functions. Nin-Chow found it a little unnerving to see how many ways that men could be controlled by women, and he was actually a little glad when they reached the end of the building. When they were about to leave the building, Nin-Chow's girlfriend asked, 'Is there anything else that you'd like to see?' Nin-Chow said, "Yes, there is! I'd like to see you die!" Nin-Chow pulled a gun out of his pocket and shot her in the face. She fell dead on the plush carpet.
Nin-Chow muttered a curse and he walked back into the show. He pulled another gun out of his other pocket, so he had a gun in each hand. His guns were pulse pistols. Instead of firing bullets, they fired lethal pulses of proto-electric energy. The pulse pistols were virtually noiseless, and each pistol was so powerful, you could fire thousands of charges with it, before it ran out of energy and had to be recharged. Nin-Chow walked through the show, firing his pulse pistols at women, and watching them fall all around him. He wanted to kill as many women as possible. After he killed about a hundred of them, he headed for an exit. Since the pulse pistols he used were noiseless, it took a few moments before most people in the building realized what had happened. Nin-Chnow hid in some shrubbery outside the building, and watched as terrified women ran from the building. Soon, he heard sirens, they were police cars, and the sirens of ambulances.
Nin-Chow walked nonchalantly along the street, as if nothing had happened. Suddenly a car pulled up, alongside him. The window of the car opened, and a man inside stuck his head out, and shouted, "Are you insane?" Have you lost your mind?" Nin-Chow looked at the man, and asked, "Who are you?" The man said, "Just get in, I'll explain later!" Nin-Chow got into the car, and the man drove away. As the drove, the man said "What you did in there was crazy! There will be hundreds of policemen here in a few minutes, and they will all be looking for you. I was sent by Darth Odious to pick you up, Nin-Chow." Nin-Chow said, "How do you know my name?" The man said, "I work for Darth Odious, he has spies everywhere on this planet. We heard on the news that there was a crazed gunman who went on a shooting spree at the feminist culture show, and so we figured it was you. We got here as fast as we could."
Nin-Chow was taken to a secret garage, and he was put inside of a space cruiser. The space cruiser took off, and went to a small base on an asteroid, in an asteroid cluster that lies inside a nebula. Inside the base, he met Darth Odious. Darth Odious had just returned from exile, and he had been forming an army. The purpose of the army was to destroy the Intergalactic Feminist Empire. Darth Odious had promised his troops that he would destroy the empire and he would restore male supremacy to the universe. Darth Odious was quite candid when he spoke to Nin-Chow. He said, "I heard about you going on a shooting spree inside an exhibition hall, where women were putting on a feminist culture exhibition. According to news reports, you killed 114 women and wounded 37 others. Good work! I see you hate women as much as I do!"
Nin-Chow was still puzzled, He said, "Well, what do you want me for?" Darth Odious said, "I want you to join me! I could use a few good men, especially the type of men who hate women! I have a place for you in my army, if you want it, and I can also promote you to become a member of my elite guard. I think you have potential." Nin-Chow said, "Thank you." Darth Odious said, "I will give you an official title. From now on, you will be known as Darth Ninja."
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