FicWad

Nobody expected the scientist. Hanji Zoë was a happy go lucky person with a smile that could brighten any room. Even on the missions where thousands of people were sent to their impending doom, she came back rambling on about some experiments that dealt with titans. No one noticed when she slipped away on one particularly long night. The survey corps had just returned from a mission that day, a gruesome one at that. Most of the soldiers, including Hanji’s friends, were out drinking their pain away. The brunette ran down the isolated halls, the sound of her footsteps clicking across the wood. Her head was filled with voices when in reality there was no one there. “Worthless! Useless! Psycho!” Chants and sneers caused tears to blur her vision. She slammed the door shut and fell to her knees in the darkened room she called her own. Hanji had never told anyone about her past, she tried to cover it up with fake smiles. And sure, some of them were genuine but something had snapped in her today. Something had caused her to unravel. Hot tears stung her face as she sobbed into the night. She could only see their faces, cruel and merciless. She could only hear the sickening laughter that haunted her. She could only live in the pain of a memory that she should have forgotten.

It was raining that day when Hanji first realized that she couldn't trust anyone. She had two sisters, whom she could put her trust in. Hanji's sisters had led her off to the forest through the storm. Young and naïve, Hanji followed them. With sly smiles, they told her they were going to play hide and seek. Only five at the time, she believed every word they said. What she didn’t know hurt her that day. As she closed her eyes and began to count she felt someone push her from behind. A foot collided with her ribs, knocking the breath out of her body. She let out a muffled cry as someone kicked her in the leg, feeling the bone snap. Her glasses fell to the ground in a shattered mess and the chanting began. "Go die you stupid brat! Ha she didn't even put up a fight! I hope she dies out here in the cold." The words dripped with venom, pouring out of their mouths. The footsteps faded away into the distance leaving her to shiver in the cold rain. Her eldest sister was the last to leave, whispering in her ear “It looks like your wings have been torn off, Mein Vogel.”
“Why?!” Hanji cried out with a trembling voice, attempting to get out of the mud in pain. “Don’t leave me here alone, please!” As she began to limp towards what she thought was home, her voice became lost to the howl of a storm.
With a sharp inhale of breath, Hanji snapped out of the terrible memory. Hot tears stained her cheeks as she sobbed helplessly, trying to forget the memory. With weak limbs and shaky breaths Hanji grabbed the blade from her shelf. Even her friends had left her alone, now of all times. They shouldn’t have to worry about you. They don’t deserve to worry about you. Crimson blood stained her skin as the metal met her flesh, tearing it open. She laughed softly into the night as she watched lines of red drip down her skin. That night, she slept with bandaged arms and a hole in her heart.

Nobody expected the scientist. Hanji walked down the hallway alone silently. She was eerily silent for anyone who knew her well. It had been about a week since the incident happened. She had hid her bandaged arms under her jacket, even though in the Corps, it wouldn’t raise much suspicion. A hand on her shoulder snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned around to face Mike Zacharius, one of her close friends. He inhaled a deep whiff of air as per usual, and then frowned. “Hanji are you okay?” He asked worriedly. Fear suddenly stuck through Hanji’s chest. She couldn’t let him know her secret.
“Nothing’s wrong Mike. I’m just off to run some experiments. Why did you ask?” She replied, hoping the bloodhound-like man would leave her alone.
Mike let out a small sigh. “Why did I smell blood on you then? Did you get wounded on the last mission?”
She tried to restrain from letting out a nervous laugh. “I’m not wounded I assure you Mike. Maybe I accidentally hurt myself in my experiments and didn’t notice. I’m fine.” She turned to walk back to her room and heard Mike’s footsteps leave in the other direction. She hoped that he wouldn’t tell the others about her strange behavior.

“What has gotten into you, shitty glasses?” Levi remarked as he beat Hanji in a sparring match. It was suspiciously easy. He was humanity’s strongest but usually Hanji at least put up a fight. She brushed the dirt off her pants and muttered her reply of “nothing.” Levi grabbed her wrist to bring her closer to him and she winced in pain. “What are these bandages for? Answer me or I’ll get Erwin to drag it out of you instead.” Her eyes widened in fear. She had been found out.
“I-I don’t know what you’re asking, Lance Corporal Levi.” She managed to stutter out. He gripped her wrist harder.
“Answer me Hanji. Why do you have bandages? It’s been over two weeks since our last expedition so your wounds should be healed by now.” That’s when she broke free and ran away from him. She could barely hear the shouts behind her. Tears were pouring down her face as she locked her door and sunk to the floor. You’re such a screw-up! Now they are all worried about you! She took her jacket and looked at the Wings of freedom emblem on the back. As the blood poured down her open wounds she smiled sickly. She might be a bird, but now she was flightless.

Nobody expected the scientist. Not until she wouldn’t answer the knocking on the door. Not until the light shined into her darkened room and she never responded to her name. They found out when they found her lying unconscious and blood pooled on her floor. Mike, Levi, and Erwin stared upon her frail body in horror. The wings of freedom emblem on her uniform became soaked in blood from her pale arms. Hanji looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. Maybe she was flying somewhere else where her wings were no longer broken.