FicWad

"Frankie? Frank, wake up!" One second, Jackson is holding him down, the next it's someone else's voice and just black.

He numbly got control of his limbs and realized two things. One: it was Gerard shaking Frank back to consciousness. And two: He wasn't alone when he woke up.

He calmed himself a helluva lot faster with Gerard than just the company of his pillow. He kept speaking in low soft tones, prodding him to relax.

No one could hug tighter than him, no one cared damn near as much as Gerard did. He shook and cried for shorter this time for more than obvious reasons.

After all that, he wondered if he had accidentally kicked or angered Gerard at all with his mid-night screams. This happened quite often; but never with someone, much less him.

"Hey-" He rubbed comforting circles into Frank's back. "'Little better?"

A wet spot formed where Frank had his head buried in Gerard's neck. Was Gerard okay with him doing this? Frank didn't respond for a long moment.

He nodded- a small gesture- but enough to tell Gerard he was awake. He never relaxed his hold until Frank squirmed out of his grip.

Then he began struggling. Not half-heartedly, no, he shoved his embrace away like it burned. Gerard didn't even get a chance. "Stop it."

Gerard held his breath. "Stop what?"

"That." Frank choked on his own words. "That fucking bullshit when you pretend you actually care. No one else fucking does. Just kill me- dump me somewhere and I won't be your problem anymore." Frank's voice dissolved into broken sobs, but he still wouldn't let Gerard comfort him.

His heart ached when he said that- as if Frank was roadkill and everyone he knew where the cars driving by.

"No, Frank I'm not gonna hurt you. Even if you fucking told me to," Gerard told him sternly. "Even I'm the only fucking one who cares, I can't lose you, I can't." His strong façade dropped as true as it was that he was okay. "W-Why would I still be here?"

Frank cries were nonstop now. "What'd you want? Is it me? Is it-"

"Stop, Frank. You know I'm not like him. It's not." Gerard caught him off guard and pinned his arms around him.

Frank didn't even try struggling; he just cried, he couldn't do anything else. After a few minutes, Gerard sighed and finally mustered up some words that could never describe how he felt.

"I care about you Frank. If I could make you believe it I would. Please don't cry." Gerard rambled over the next half hour over his true intentions. That he cared, more than Frank could fathom.

He cared for Frank in small ways when he'd start again, crying.

Frank didn't understand how someone as perfect as Gerard had to come into his life. His art hung up all over the apartment- it was absolutely stunning; Gerard didn't think so.

He's so strong, whenever Frank needs it or is too scared, Gerard's there. He still doesn't think he's amazing.

Even after the room had quieted, Gerard continued soothing Frank and cuddling him up against his chest.

Frank was eerily quiet before he said his next line, as if in a movie. "I love you." Frank's façade didn't drop again- he'd run out of tears.

"Frank?" Sounding urgent and scared; stop it. Gerard, in the midst of their embrace, tried to get Frank to look at him.

He was stubborn though and refused to see his expression, fearing someone else instead.

"Frank," Gerard stated again and forced his head, yet keeping his gentle composure. Frank's dulled eyes shined bright when he finally did get his gaze. Numb with- something. Many things.

"Frankie." More tenderly this time, Gerard stroked Frank's cheek and pressed his lips to it. Not using his lips completely- but that.

Frank coulda sworn his heart stopped dead in his chest from that small act of- he didn't know.

Gerard's lips were chapped and plenty warm- nothing like before. Jackson's were always hot and slimy from the whiskey and whatever hooker he was paying to fuck.

Frank closed his eyes as it ended, whimpering as if something would come next. But nothing did.

"Is that what you mean?" Gerard's voice came breathy and tight on his face. "Please-Please answer me, Frank. What did I do?"

Frank's eyes finally opened, but he refused to speak. In one of those rare times- Gerard had tears in his eyes. He also noticed, his grip on Frank wasn't as prominent as before. In a morbid way, he felt vulnerable without it.

Gripping his wrist, Frank leaned in pecked one his dimples. Immediately after, he let go, minding his space.

Though Gerard being Gerard- looked nothing like Frank assumed he would. His eyes shined- practically radiant as he took hold of Frank's hand, nodding. Two words. "Me too."

Frank's breath caught in his throat anyway when Gerard caressed his cheek. "I wanna- are you sure? I don't wanna think the wrong thing if you just acted spur of the moment," he whispered.

Even if he was just slightly nervous, that would always make things easier. Frank leaned in within touching distance of his nose and whispered back. "I'm sure."

Gerard took those words to heart. He tangled their legs together and reassured his grip on Frank's waist like he had before. Then leaned in inches away from his lips.

"Can I be with you Frank? It's takes time- I know that but I've never..." Frank waited as he took a breath. "Cared. Like this for anyone. Been with anybody. Frankie-"

Frank's eyes gazed wide and lost into Gerard's, pondering intently on his words. And oh fuck yes Frank believed him; he was only honest. Gerard didn't say another word- staring like Frank did when he was lost.

Briefly- so brief he barely caught it, Frank pressed his lips to Gerard's; fucking finally. Gerard whimpered, whimpered and did the same.

"Okay?" Frank breathed across his lips. He felt a shiver run through Gerard as he pressed a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "Yeah, okay."