FicWad

“You’ve made friends with her already?” Genma said, grinning “Great job boy.”

“Oh this is so romantic…” Nodoka said. “Secretly comforting her in her hour of need!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Ranma said. Naturally his parents had asked how his first day of school/progress on getting a cure had gone. He hadn’t meant to give much details. But his parents kept pressing him until he ended up revealing everything but how he had felt when Akane had hugged him and smiled at him.

That he was taking to his grave.

“At this rate you’ll be cured in no time!” Genma said with a laugh.

“Look, Pop, I know you’re excited. But come on, I need to be patient here.” Ranma said. “I mean… it’s just…” He mumbled as he seemed unable to articulate his point. “I’m going to go do some homework.” Ranma stood up and headed over to his room.

However, upon reaching there he found he couldn’t focus on the school work at hand. Math and English weren’t very interesting at the moment. After realizing he was stuck on the same problem for ten minutes he shut the book and groaned. He was way too distracted. He needed to focus on getting a cure…

Finally, he gave into his listlessness. He pulled out a well used sketch-pad, noted that he’d have to buy a new one soon, and started absentmindedly sketching. Leaning forward and sighing, he thought back to the girl he had befriended.

“She’s pretty cute.” He murmured to himself.

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World

Part 3: Martial Arts

Breakfast was a trial at the Tendo Household.

Akane was in the kitchen, her mind focused on the task; Making a non-dangerous breakfast. She knew that if she let her control slip, her… habits… would come into play. If her habits came out then only disaster awaited for her poor father. Akane had become immune, after all, so she could make lunch for herself without much thought.

Still, today was a good one. Breakfast was perfect, and Soun noticed that Akane was in a better mood than she had been the past week. There was a real smile on her face as she served the rise and miso soup to him. She sat down and began eating her own much larger serving.

“How has school been?” Soun asked, deciding that since his daughter was in a better mood today then she had been, it was time to strike up conversation.

For an instant, Akane’s expression darkened, before shaking her head and Soun could tell she was forcing herself to focus on happier matters. “I made a new friend. Her name’s Aiko Saotome. She’s a martial artist like me.”

“That sound’s wonderful.” Soun nodded. He knew how desperately Akane treasured friends that shared her love of Martial Arts. “How is she?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I think she’s really good. She wants to practice here.” Akane said. “She says she learned her family style her whole life.”

Soun nodded, “Sounds interesting. Well, it has been a while since my baby girl had a challenge no?” He gave her a proud smile. Of course he was proud of her, she was his strong student. His daughter who had followed in his footsteps and had grown beyond what anything he had expected or hoped.

“I’m looking for a friend, not a punching bag.” Akane said, though she was still smiling.

“Glad to hear that things are going well for you.” Soun said, knowing of his daughter’s competitive nature.

The frown returned. “Well… it’s not perfect. I’ve been… getting bothered, a little, by some boys at school.”

Soun scowled, “What kind of ‘bothering’?”

“Oh, it’s just, that they found out I’m single. So they’re constantly asking me out. I turn them down, it’s not that big a deal Dad. Just annoying.”

Still, Soun frowned. “It’s still not right. Maybe I should call the principal…”

Akane winced, “It’s no problem Dad. I can handle it.” Little did Soun know that Akane had gone to the principal the second day the fights started. It hadn’t really ended well, and Akane had ended up just dodging haircuts and exploding pineapples. Again. “Me and the principal have never really been on good terms, you know.”

Soun sighed, “Well, if you say so Akane. I know you can handle it.” Tears began to fall down his face, “Oh my precious baby girl has grown to be such strong young woman! If only your mother was here to see this day!”

Akane finished her breakfast, “OK. Thank you Dad. I’m off to school now.”

~-~

It was a cool morning. Akane took a deep breath. It was time for another day of school. Another day of dealing with… them.

“Hey, Akane!” A voice called from behind her.

“Ehh..?” Akane turned around, “Aiko?”

“Hey.” Aiko waved, her schoolbag in hand. “You look surprised.”

“Well, I am a little…” Akane said.

“Hey, I told you I’d be walking to school with you.” Aiko said with a brisk laugh. “It’s not too bad, I live a little bit back that way.” She pointed behind her, “It’s just a little detour.”

“Thanks then.” Akane said. Both of them began walking towards the school in pace with one another. She glanced over at her companion. Just like yesterday, it was clear that Aiko had put very little effort into how she looked. And it was also clear to Akane thanks to that hint of jealousy that Aiko didn’t need to. Her shiny midnight-black hair was tied back in a simple pony-tail, but that alone was enough. Her face had not even a hint of makeup, and Akane could see her nails were perfect without and polish or treatment.

“So, what’s your secret?” Akane asked.

“Eh?” Aiko glanced over to Akane, her eyes widening a little.

“How do you manage to look like an idol without any makeup or anything?” Akane asked.

“I what?” Aiko asked.

“You’re probably the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen Aiko. And you do it all effortlessly! What’s your secret?” Akane laughed, “I mean, if you can look like that without bothering with makeup and junk please tell me how.”

Akane had to admit, Aiko somehow became cuter once she started blushing and stammering at the complement. “Wh-what about you? I don’t see you wearing makeup or other girly stuff like that!”

Akane shrugged, “It’s too much work. Getting all prettied up is nice and all… but most of the time I just would rather spend that time practicing.”

Aiko glanced over to Akane, looking all the world like she wanted to say something. Yet she couldn’t seem to find the right words to say, finally she shook her head and instead gave Akane a challenging grin. “Bet you can’t run to school up on the fence.” With a leap Aiko jumped up on to the fence alongside the canal. She balanced on the fence as easily as the ground.

Akane was torn, on one hand, she had just been directly challenged, on the other… “What if a boy sees up our skirts?”

“We kick em in the face for peeping?” Aiko suggested.

Inflicting righteous violence on perverts was a good enough suggestion. So with a grin Akane jumped up next to Aiko on the fence. Like Aiko she was perfectly balanced on it. The two girls smiled at each other, as they seemed to think about what to do next.

“Wow. You do have some nice balance.” Aiko said.

“Never tried this before, but it’s nothing I haven’t handled before. I’ve won a dozen Martial Arts Figureskating matches. Fights on ice are way harder than this.”

“Martial Arts what?”

“Trust me, Aiko, there are some weird fighting styles out there.” Akane said, before an idea came to her. Leaning over, she poked Aiko on the nose. “Tag! You’re it!” At the announcement of the new game, Akane jumped into the air. With a flip she landed on the other side of Aiko, still balanced on the fence. Sticking out her tongue, she dashed ahead of Aiko.

The game began, and the unspoken rules settled in. Running on the ground was forbidden, only fence running was allowed. Jumps were OK, as Akane flipped over Aiko several times when she tried to tag her. At one point Aiko stretched the rules, tagging Akane and leaping over a group of salarymen walking to work to land on the fence on the other side of the road. Akane responded with a laugh of her own, building up some speed and jumping over as well. From there it became a bouncing aerial game of tag, each one trying to tag the other in the air while still landing on the fences.

The entire game had been incredibly fun, Akane had not run around giggling like this since she was a little girl. It was just nice to be able to cut loose and have some fun. Still… in the end the laughing had to come to a close. Akane spotted the looming presence of Furinkan, and she could now hear the excited chatter of those stupid boys. In an instance her mood darkened, as she remembered the troubles of her life. The fun gone, she jumped off the fence, landing on the sidewalk. She’d approach the boys head on, as was her way. Akane Tendo did not back down.

“Akane?” Aiko instantly seemed to notice her darkening mood, landing beside her. “Um… it’s those idiots, isn’t it?”

Akane sighed, a very long sigh. “Yes. It’s been the same all week. They rush at me, I knock them down, and tomorrow they do it again. It’s just… just…” She gritted her teeth. She would not cry again. She had let it out yesterday, that was enough. Akane had allowed herself to be weak long enough. It was time to be strong.

“Isn’t there anything you can do? Maybe talk to the teachers or-”

“Nobody can do anything about it.” Akane growled, “Nobody’s going to interfere with my life, they never have and they never will.” While Akane knew she was popular with the student body (too popular, if these hormonal jackasses were any indication) she also knew that the staff only tolerated her… oddness about being a strong martial artist thanks to her good grades and behavior when not involved in a fight. Well, that and she’d beat up the Principal whenever he got out of line. As far as the adults at Furinkan was concerned, this was just another chapter in the weirdness that was Akane Tendo’s life.

“I can do something about it.” Aiko snapped.

Akane frowned, “No Aiko. You can’t help me fight them off! If you do they might go after you too!”

“Then we won’t fight them then!” Aiko snapped.

“We’re- I’m not running away!” Akane growled.

“It’s not running! It’s the Saotome School Final Technique! Pull back and find a new plan!” Aiko said.

“How is that different from running?”

“Uh…. we come back later?” Aiko suggested, “Once we figure out a plan.”

Akane folded her arms, “OK then. So you have any ideas?”

“Not one. I mean, if you beating up those morons for a week straight didn’t convince them I don’t know what will.” Aiko said.

Akane rolled her eyes, “OK then. So you don’t have any better ideas about stopping this.”

“I can at least give you a break!” Aiko said, “Please, maybe if you don’t fight them they’ll give up.” Aiko took a deep breath, before reaching out and grabbing Akane’s hand. “Can you trust me?”

Akane nearly stepped back from the look in Aiko’s eyes. There was a hard shining gleam in them. Her eyes are blue, Akane realized. “You… ah…” She couldn’t help but be drawn into them. Why was she looking so serious…? “I… OK. I trust you, Aiko.”

Aiko’s expression changed to a warm smile. “Good. Tell me, Akane, how good are you at hiding your presence?”

“Um, pretty good.” Akane had practiced a lot with Tofu. She still couldn’t sneak up on him. But he was among were very few people she couldn’t by this point. Idly she wondered if she could sneak up on Aiko.

“Do it, I want you to be as sneaky as possible.” Aiko said.

“OK…” Akane took a deep breath. She closed her eyes for a moment, focusing her presence inward. She slowed her breathing, and made her movements as silently as possible. Opening her eyes, she glanced at Aiko.

“Good. If you snuck off I’d have a hard time finding you.”Aiko smiled, “Stick close to me.” Aiko pulled Akane right next to her. Akane was now practically leaning against the shorter girl. “Keep as quiet as possible now.” Akane slowly nodded in reply. She kept her gaze on Aiko, watching as the girl shifted into a strange stance, holding up her free arm and rising up on her tiptoes. Aiko slouched a bit, pulling Akane slightly down with her.

“Ready?” Aiko asked, her voice a whisper.

Akane nodded.

~-~

It was another lovely day at the market. There were quite some good deals going on. And if there was one thing Kasumi Ono was good at, it was finding deals.

In some ways, cooking for two rather than a full family was easier. Less food to look for, and she could afford to be more experimental with her dishes. On the other hand, it was harder to find good deals when she couldn’t buy as much in bulk. Still, no matter what it was nice. While she knew it wasn’t for everyone, Kasumi really did enjoy being a homemaker. She picked up a melon, tapping it to see if it was ripe. However, her shopping was interrupted.

Though she hadn’t ever had much of an interest in martial arts beyond the basic self-defense her father had insisted she learn, Kasumi had long learned about sensing when people were following her. Especially with her husband’s childish habit of sneaking up on everyone. She glanced behind her, nobody was there. She looked up, she couldn’t see anybody on the roof-tops. With a shrug, Kasumi decided she must have imagined it, and continued inspecting her fruit.

Then somebody jumped up from behind the stalls and grabbed her.

~-~

The saw their goddess, their goal, their love, Akane approach. Today she was being oddly close to a new girl. The few in her class recognized her as Aiko Saotome, a transfer student who Akane seemed to have made friends with yesterday. They didn’t pay her much attention. After all, she was pretty cute yes but she wasn’t the perfect goddess of war Akane.

With cries of love, they charged at her. Ready to finally earn Akane’s affection in battle. They charged even as neither of the girls made any move. Some of the closer boys noticed Aiko’s scowl, the new student pulling Akane closer to her. With her free hand, Aiko reached into her book bag. With a sharp tug, a large cloth was pulled out of the bag.

The boys continued to charge.

Aiko was still glaring at the boys, they were just a few meters from her and Akane. Akane seemed to be doing her best to keep emotionless. With a flourish Aiko flung the cloth out, causing it to spread out and remove both girls from their sight briefly.

Then the boys suddenly skidded to a stop.

This was because the as the cloth fluttered through the air, it seemed to fade as it was pulled back away from where the two girls should be standing. However, there was not a single trace of Aiko or Akane anywhere. Both of the girls had vanished, without a single trace anywhere.

~-~

Ranma grinned as she quietly carried Akane around the slackjawed morons. They couldn’t see her, couldn’t feel her, and lacked the slightest bit of training to even attempt to find them. Once she had thrown the cloth over them, she had scooped Akane into her arms. Now she was carrying her to school.

Akane was not soft at all, Ranma realized. Despite having an obvious feminine figure, near every inch of her body was strong muscle. Ranma could feel the tension in her arms. It was unlike any other girl Ranma had interacted with.

Not that Ranma regularly held girls or anything like that. But she had decided that carrying Akane was nice, and maybe she could do this more often until the other idiots get a hint. Just to help Akane out. Of course. It feeling good was just a bonus. She quietly slipped through the school’s front doors, before setting Akane down and letting out a breath. Several students suddenly turned to the two of them in shock, after all, from their perspective they had appeared out of thin air.

“What was that?” Akane said, her eyes wide with shock. Though there was a big silly grin on her face, “That was more than just concealing your presence, that was… the stance, and the way you pulled yourself in…. was the cloth…?” Akane began mumbling. Ranma couldn’t help but laugh as she realized Akane was trying to piece together just what she had done.

“Come on Akane, we have class. We’ll talk about it at lunch.” Ranma grabbed Akane’s arm, snapping her out of her focus.

~-~

Ranma had to admit it was impressive. Akane had slammed her lunchbox onto her desk and sat across from her a mere second after the lunch bell rang. “OK Aiko. Tell me what that was.”

Ranma grinned, she had an audience. “‘That’, Akane, was a part of one of the Saotome School’s strongest techniques.” She pulled out a pen and paper, “The ultimate forms of the the Saotome School are divided into two branches.” Akane looked down at the paper as Ranma wrote down the names.

“First, there’s the Yamasenken.” Ranma put down the characters meaning ‘Mountain of One Thousand Fists’. “It’s not what I used. What I used was the second branch. The Umisenken.” Ranma wrote down the characters meaning ‘Sea of One Thousand Fists.’

“Hmm… can’t say my school has anything like that.” Akane said, “The higher level techniques I know are all just part of Anything Goes. Never divided the school into two branches.”

“Well that’s because the Saotome School is kind of slapdash.” Ranma laughed, “It’s a weird mix of Kenpo, Ninjutsu, and whatever stuff Pop made up.”

“So your dad invented it?” Akane said, “The style you know?”

“Yup. Pop was really impatient when he was younger. Bounced around from dojo to dojo until he ended up making his own slapdash martial arts style. Pretty effective though. Helped him get ahead when he kept getting run out of towns.”

Akane laughed at that last sentence. “So how does it work?”

Ranma grinned, “Hey now. These are high level secrets of my martial arts. I can’t just tell you how I do it.”

“Come on…” Akane let out an exaggerated whine, “That was one of the coolest things I’ve seen. I need to figure it out. I mean, I think I’ve got the stance down. Got to test that in the dojo… and the cloth…”

“Oh geez. Maybe that was a mistake.” Ranma said, though still smiling. “Should have tried something else.”

“What I really want to know is how you managed to hide me as well.” Akane said, “Hiding not just your presence, but mine, even though I was right in front of them…” She closed her eyes in thought, “You did something to me…”

Ranma shrugged, “Well, I guess I can tell a bit more about it.” Sure, her dad may not approve of her talking about his secrets. But Ranma could deal with Genma’s whining. Plus, it would make Akane happy. If she’s happy she’ll be more receptive to kissing me. Ranma shook her head, forcing that thought out of it. “First off, the two branches were made as a set. The Yamasenken was developed first, and then later Pop developed the Umisenken as the perfect counter.”

“That sounds interesting.” Akane said, “Wonder why he did that?”

Ranma shrugged, “Can’t say. I remember when Pop taught me the Yamasenken. I was sure it was the ultimate martial arts technique. I thought I was unbeatable. It’s really strong, you know?” She laughed, “Then he told me to come at him, he used the Umisenken and kicked my ass harder than I had ever been before or since.”

“Hmm, maybe it’s a way of teaching humility? Show the student that they still have a long way to go.” Akane suggested.

“Who knows with Pop. I don’t really get him. When it comes to Martial Arts, the man’s a genius. But he’s a complete boneheaded moron in the rest of his life. Keeping him in line is Mom’s full time job.” Ranma shook her head, “Anyways. The point is that the Yamasenken and Umisenken were made together and express two different styles and philosophies.”

“I can guess that from their names.” Akane said.

Ranma couldn’t help but give Akane a smirk, “Yeah, I bet. But if you don’t understand the core of the two arts, you’ll never master them.”

“Oh, and what is the core?” Akane smirked right back. “It can’t be as silly as Martial Arts Tea Ceremony.”

Ranma decided to ask her about that later, “Well, it’s a bit embarrassing, in all honesty. Pop was always a bit of a... less than stellar example of morality. Mom did a lot to straighten him out.”

If Akane was bothered by the admission, she didn’t show it. “Well, I can’t really throw out any complaints like that. My school was founded by a perverted old panty thief.” Akane held up a finger, “One high level technique of the Anything Goes school, ‘Catching the Divine Breeze’, with it I can deflect powerful strikes using a single finger. Created by my illustrious Master to flip up skirts.”

“Well,” Ranma said, one eyebrow raised, “I can safely say that isn’t one of Pop’s vices.” Despite some of Nodoka’s stranger ideas about manly behavior. “So, this is how the two styles work in reality. I didn’t understand how the process worked until I saw it.” Ranma put the pen to the paper again, writing down the names again using different characters. “Yamasenken.” ‘Way of the Noisy Thief.’ “Umisenken.” ‘Way of the Silent Thief.’ “The secrets of the Saotome school.” Ranma said with a dry fanfare.

“So…” Akane stared at the paper.

“The Yamasenken, the mugger who smashes down the gates and grabs everything in sight. The Umisenken, the silent burglar who sneaks in and takes your valuables without you ever noticing.” Ranma said in a completely deadpan tone. “Pop is something else. He invents techniques that even impress Granny, all for the purpose of being a better petty thief.”

“So you were able to keep the boys from noticing me because…”

“Because what good is a thief sneaking off invisible with their stolen goods if they can’t make the stuff they’re carrying invisible as well?” Ranma said, “I’ve never tried it with a living thing before. So you hiding your presence helped, I think.”

Akane looked like she had just been given candy. “I see! Yes that would work. Now how did you...”

“Sorry, have to keep some secrets.” Ranma said, ignoring Akane’s exaggerated mock-despair. “Only Saotomes can learn the big secrets of the Saotome school, you know.”

Akane sighed dramatically, “ Then I’ll simply have to force my way into your family somehow then Aiko.”

It took all of three seconds for a way for Akane to become a Saotome to rush into Ranma’s head, and her face turned red as she quickly looked down at the paper to make sure Akane didn’t see the blush. “Heheheheheh… good luck with that.” Ranma managed to mumble before forcing the blush to fade and looking back at Akane’s face.

She, of course, had no idea about the havoc that her joke had played on Ranma’s mind. “So, how about I show you a little trick, just to be fair.” She reached into her blouse and pulled out… an old fashioned looking firecracker. It was round, wrapped with brown paper and had a fuse on top. Ranma quickly noticed the entirety of the class that was eating lunch as well instantly backing away against the walls. “It’s not lit!” Akane said with a groan once she noticed the terror in their eyes. “Honestly I’m not the principal.” she said with a huff, holding out the firecracker to Ranma.

“Uh... is this some Hidden Weapons thing?” Ranma said.

“Nope. It wasn’t anywhere until I did the technique.” Akane put away the firecracker. “And now it’s gone.”

“OK. That’s… weird.” Ranma said, “You… uh… how?”

Akane laughed, “Tell you what. Since you were so nice, I’ll let you look at the scroll that has the technique on it.”

Ranma’s expression brightened at the thought of picking up a new martial arts technique. “R-really?”

“Yup. Come over to my place after school, oh, is that OK with your parents?”

Ranma nodded, “Sure. Pop loves it when I find new techniques and Mom’s not going to argue either.”

Akane smiled, “Great!”

Ranma took a moment to enjoy the simple happiness Akane showed, “So… um… what did you mean by you’re not the principal?”

“Oh. That. Long story.”

~-~

Once school ended, Aiko immediately began following Akane. It warmed her heart to see somebody so eager. Aiko had run ahead of her and was now leaning against the gates to the house.

“Follow me.” Akane said, taking Aiko’s hand and leading her into the Tendo home. “I’ll introduce you to my dad, get some snacks made, and then I’ll show you the scr-”

“Akannnneeeeee!” Two blubbering, sobbing wrecks that were once grown men charged out of the front door the instance she had opened the gates and walked though.

“She’s gone she’s gone!”

“My baby! Noooooooo!”

“Kasumi’s been- Kasumi’s been- Kasumi’s been-”

“Meet my father, Soun Tendo.” Akane said dryly to Aiko, pointing to the sobbing and blubbering man at her feet. “And Dr. Tofu Ono, my older sister’s husband.” Pointing to the man running in circles screaming “Kasumi’s been-”

“Are they… always like this?” Aiko asked.

“Not really…” Akane sighed, “I think something might be going on with my older sister.”

“The Kasumi they’re screaming about?”

“Yeah.” Akane said, “Dad has always been really protective of us… and Tofu’s always a bit weird about Kasumi.” She glanced down at her father, “Dad! Stop this!” She grabbed Soun by the front of his gi and shook him. The crying quickly stopped.

Aiko, meanwhile, walked over to Tofu. She grabbed his collar, noticing his fogged up glasses and panicked expression. After a moment’s thought, she slapped him in the face a couple times. His glasses cleared up and his noticed that someone he didn’t know had just slapped him. “Um, hello Miss?”

~-~

Akane sat down some tea in front of her family and guest, once things had calmed down she had taken charged and ushered everyone into the family room so they could talk. Introductions were made and a few glares from Akane stopped Soun from bursting into tears again. “OK, Dad, Tofu, what is with Kasumi?”

Tofu took a few deep breaths. He needed to stay calm, “She… she went out shopping and didn’t come back!”

“Is that it?” Aiko said, “Maybe she got distracted or went to see a movie?”

Tofu shook his head, “She went shopping this morning. She’s been gone for hours now.”

Akane frowned, she had to admit that was a bit worrying. “So this isn’t just like last time when she was just catching up with some friends from High School.”

“That’s right!” Soun shouted, tears streaming down his face. “It’s much worse! I found… I found...!”

“Aiko.” Akane said. Aiko nodded and slapped Soun in the back of the head. This stopped the tears quickly enough.

“What did you find Dad?” Akane asked.

“This!” Soun held up a cardboard box, the words “For the Butch” were written on it. “It was in Kasumi’s old room. And inside there’s…”

Akane took the box, opening it up. Inside there was small package wrapped in nylon. She unwrapped it and realized that it wasn’t just nylon.

“Pantyhose?” Aiko asked, “Why are you being given pantyhose?”

Akane groaned, this was exactly what she needed. Wrapped up in the pantyhose was a ring and a letter…

“Kasumi’s wedding ring!” Tofu said, “Oh god she’s-”

“She’s fine! The jackass isn’t going to do anything.” Akane growled, picking up the letter.

I have your little homemaker, if you want to have good meals again head up north to that waterfall.

Bring the old freak, you know what I want.

“That… oh. My daughter’s kidnapped!” Soun started crying again. Aiko glanced at Akane, who just shook her head. There was no saving him.

“Someone kidnapped Kasumi!?” Tofu’s eyes fogged over. He was about to panic again when at Akane’s nod Aiko slapped him again. “Ah… um, thank you Miss Saotome.”

“I can start punching you if you need it.” Aiko helpfully suggested.

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary.” Tofu said, “I… I need to stay calm.”

“Right. If you want to help me save your wife then you’ll have to stay calm.” Akane said.

“So… she’s in danger?” Aiko said.

Akane shook her head, “I don’t think so. I hope he’s not that stupid.”

“Who…?” Aiko asked.

“The idiot who kidnapped my sister.” Akane crushed the letter in her hands, “Pantyhose Taro.”

~-~

“Would you like some tea Pantyhose Taro?”

The man named Pantyhose Taro glared at his hostage.

It had been a busy year for him. He had desperately tried to find loopholes to the stupid law that meant he had this idiotic name. Nothing had come, and running for his life from that crazy girl Rogue hadn’t helped matters. How was he supposed to know those dumb things helped with her back pain?

Asking the freak hadn’t helped, trying to trick him hadn’t helped. Bribing hadn’t helped (he just took the panties and ran). The old pervert proved remarkably resistant to injury so beating the crap out of him didn’t do anything. That left one thing, blackmail.

He knew that the girl was basically the chef and sole maid of the home. There’s no way that hedonistic old letch would want to lose the biggest source of his comfort when not engaging in his perversions. As such, if Happosai wanted his favorite housewife back he would give him a new name!

The plan was foolproof, if he thought so himself. Sure, he’d probably send over his student over and she and her fake boyfriend would come over (Seriously, nobody could have that much bad taste in men. He had to be her Beard.) But Taro was pretty sure that with the latest addition to his power he would handle her. But it would be several hours, maybe even a day, before she showed up.

Of course, that didn’t mean that this was easy relaxing wait for the girl and the letch to show up. Somehow no matter how tightly he tied Kasumi, she always got out in a few minutes. Shoving her in a cave and slamming a boulder in front of it held her for half an hour. Settling her down in a ravine with sides so slick it was impossible to climb out of managed to keep her for a full hour!

Yet she didn’t try and escape, she kept up that placid smile and started cooking some food, and was now offering him tea. “Um… OK?” He accepted the cup and sipped it.

“Oh this is so exciting! I haven’t had an adventure like this since that nice boy Kirin showed up! He was so smitten with me. It was too bad I had to let him down. Was already engaged you know.” Kasumi said cheerfully as she drunk her own tea. “What about you Pantyhose Taro? Do you have anybody special?”

“Will you stop calling me that!” He shouted, his face red with shame at his cursed name.

“Oh! But that’s your name! It wouldn’t be proper to call you something else.” Kasumi said in a completely oblvious tone.

If he wasn’t convinced that she was an airhead without a thought in her mind he’d swear he was making fun of him. “Hurry up you freak.” He muttered, looking off into the distance where he knew Akane and her Master would be coming from. “I want my new name.” So focused on his goal he didn’t even notice that Kasumi’s smile had changed to be more of a smirk.