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Disclaimer: Same as usual ...

Note: For all of you who wondered, sorry, the baby isn't going to be revived. Dorilene's death plays a role in what's to come, but what - I'm not telling. Yet. Anyway, thanks for staying with me so far and holding off on the death threats. :) On with the story ... enjoy, and leave a little feedback on the way out, please? DB





Times Present, Times Past

Chapter 10: Leavetaking





Angel Grove, the Past

"It's time, Kat."

Jason's voice was low and hesitant as he approached the still figure sitting hunched over at their shelter, but try as he might, he couldn't keep the roughness of tears out. They'd both cried together over their daughter ... whose limp, tiny body Kat was holding protectively in her arms. This morning, they'd cleaned Dorilene up in the shallow water at the lake's edge and wrapped her in Kat's old, rather tattered cardigan, the wool framing the sweet, peaceful little face in a soft pink shroud. Now it was early afternoon ... and the time had come to say their final good-byes.

Kat didn't reply to Jason's announcement, but he could see her back muscles tense.

"Hon, please ..."

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. Jason sighed, bone-weary from the night's events and with his own grief. Gently, he placed a hand on the stiff shoulder.

"Kat ... I don't want to let our baby go, either, but we have to. In this heat ... it's too dangerous."

"Dangerous?" He hated how listless Kat sounded, but then he couldn't blame her. Not when all he wanted to do was crawl into a cave somewhere and howl out his own pain. Instead, he had to be the leader, the responsible, sensible one. Again.

Sometimes, Jason hated what he was. Like now.

"Yes. This is going to sound brutal, and I'm sorry, but ..." he hunted for words that would soften what he had to say, found none, so plunged ahead as neutrally as he could. "Once her body starts to ro-, uh, decompose, I mean - which won't take long as hot as it's been lately - it'll contaminate the camp. Plus, it'll attract all kinds of wildlife - carrion eaters."

Brought out of her stupor by that harsh assessment, Kat raised her head and stared at him incredulously. "How can you talk so about our baby?!?" she demanded hoarsely. "Does she mean nothing to you?"

Jason sighed and crouched next to her, folding back a corner of the cardigan to touch the little head with its cap of dark hair. His hair. He felt his insides clench.

"She meant the world to me," he said quietly. "Or would have, if she'd lived. Even in the few hours we had her ..." He couldn't go on; too vivid were the memories of the tiny life they'd lost almost as soon as it had been given to them. "But she's gone, and our responsibility now is to us. To the living."

Kat just looked at him, her expression a curious mixture of tragic grief and mutinous stubbornness. Jason sighed again, then draped an arm around her back and drew her head onto his shoulder. She resisted at first, but gave in at last, resting her forehead against his neck. He could feel the faint tremors shuddering through Kat, and wished there was a way - any way - in which he could spare her the upcoming ordeal. If he had a clue of how to get through what needed to be done himself.

"We have to bury her, Kat," he murmured into the blonde hair. "I know it's gonna be hard, on both of us, but we have to."

She sniffled. "I just can't bear the thought of our baby lying in the earth, with no coffin" - she nearly choked on the word - "or anything ..."

Gently, Jason released her and stood. Holding out his hand to help her up, he found a small smile. "No coffin, no. But take a look at what I've come up with."

Reluctantly, Kat rose and followed him, the baby still cradled against her chest. She swayed momentarily, still weak from giving birth during the night. Kat felt nausea sweep through her as she moved, and a wave of heat pass through her that had very little to do with the weather, but she battled it down. Blinking away the resultant dizziness, she let Jason lead her a few meters into the trees, to a large boulder that was in near-permanent sunlight, she knew. At the foot, he'd dug a shallow hole - not too deep, and just big enough to hold the pink-wrapped bundle. Kat hesitated a couple of feet away, stiffening in denial, but the patient, understanding look Jason gave her drew her forward at last. She'd absently wondered what had taken him so long all morning, but now she saw.

Their daughter's grave was neatly cut into the rich earth ... and not only that, but Jason had collected some large slabs of fresh moss, to form a cushion for the body. He'd also scattered leaves and a few flower petals over it. It looked almost pathetically pitiful, yet so very endearing at the same time, Kat had to fight her sobs.

"I couldn't find any flowers, but maybe we can replant a few shoots this fall," he remarked softly.

Kat just nodded, her eyes filling with fresh tears. Seeing the open grave made her conscious of how final the next few moments were going to be - saying their last farewells. She started to bend, but halted at the last instant.

"I can't," she sobbed. "Jason, I can't!"

He closed his eyes against his own pain. Touching Kat's cheek, he waited until she would look at him, her eyes red-rimmed and her lovely face streaked with tears. "I know, Hon. It's hard for me, too. Please ..."

"Please what?" she sniffled when he didn't continue, just turned pale.

Jason swallowed the lump that seemed to have lodged permanently in his throat. "Please don't make me make you ... " he whispered brokenly, letting her take a glimpse of his own turmoil. "I couldn't bear that on top of everything."

Kat realized then that he events of the night just past hadn't just sloughed off of Jason. She had lost the baby that had been growing within her for months, yes, and her arms already felt as empty as her womb, her heart as sore as her body, but Dorilene had been Jason's daughter, too. He'd been the one who'd delivered her, had been the first to hold her ... had held both /of them until the fragile life was irrevocably gone. And she'd gotten to know him very well these past two years; she /knew how deeply he felt things. If she was devastated, Jason had to be shattered. Especially considering his mile-wide protective streak for those he cared about.

Still, she couldn't lay her baby into her grave. She just /couldn't/.

A moment's indecision, then Kat gulped hard, steeling herself against what she must do.

"You do it then," she murmured. Holding out her hands, she offered the limp little body to Jason. "Please, I ... I can't."

Jason gritted his teeth, then nodded. "Okay." Carefully, he took the baby from her. As he turned and knelt at the edge of the grave, though, Kat suddenly put out a hand to stop him.

"Wait," she requested.

"What? Please don't drag this out, Kat, I ..."

"No, no ... there's just something I want - need to do. Please? It'll only take a minute ..."

He sighed. "Okay."

Jason watched her walk unsteadily back to their shelter, where she rummaged in the corner where they'd stowed those of their meagre possessions they had no use for. In a very brief time, she returned. As she reached him, she held out her hand and offered what she'd found.

"Can ... can I give her this?"

On her palm lay the silver necklace, its once-glittery sheen dulled now, which she'd worn on the day they'd fallen through the time hole - a slender chain with a five-pointed star. The one that looked suspiciously like Tommy's Zeo symbol.

"I guess," Jason said after a second's hesitation. He was reluctant to have that reminder of Tommy (and his guilt over essentially stealing his best friend's girl, even if it had been Kat's decision) near the baby, but he could neither refuse Kat's plea nor begrudge their daughter the only personal gift they could leave with her. So, he held his peace as Kat looped the necklace with shaking hands over the small head, tucking the chain into the pink wool until the star pendant came to rest on the baby's chest. At last, Kat ran a tender hand from the baby's crown to the wrapped-up feet, bent over her and kissed the smooth brow.

"Good-bye, sweetheart. I love you."

Silent tears streaming down her cheeks, she stepped back.

Feeling all choked up himself, Jason looked at the peaceful little face one last time, burning the image into his memory.

"Bye, Princess. Love you." He, too, kissed his daughter, then placed her carefully in the ground, onto the lush moss.

Next to him, Kat started to sob softly as he scooped up a double handful of fresh earth and began to fill the grave. His own eyes were overflowing by now, yet he did nothing to stop his tears as more and more of the fragile body was covered. At the last moment, when it looked as if Dorilene was swaddled in a moist, fragrant brown blanket up to her neck, he loosened a sleeve of Kat's cardigan and covered her tiny face. It was the last bit of care and protection he could give his daughter. Then, he resolutely finished the sad task.

When Jason was done, he bowed his head, saying a silent prayer for their baby to wish her Godspeed on her final journey to a place where he hoped she would remain, happy and healthy, until eternity.

He wiped his cheeks dry and turned to look at Kat. She was still crying, looking pale and wan as her disconsolate eyes rested on the small mound. Wearily, Jason rose to his feet and offered his hand to Kat who had sunk to her knees as well and was absently rocking to and fro, her arms wrapped tightly around her middle.

"Let's go," he murmured. 'There's nothing more we can do for her."

Kat gave a nearly-imperceptible nod, beyond speech.

He almost had to pull her up, she was so weak and disoriented. As he slipped an arm around Kat's waist for both comfort and support, Jason noticed with some alarm how hot her skin felt to his touch. Looking more closely into the grief-stricken face, he noticed too-bright red spots on her cheeks ... and a thin film of sweat on her forehead.

"Man, Kat, I think you're running a fever," Jason said, shocked out of his own bereavement. "Come on, you need to lie down." Guiding Kat back towards their camp, he had to support more and more of her weight with every step, especially since Kat kept looking over her shoulder at the grave they were leaving behind. They almost made it. But when Jason loosened his hold on Kat a little to smooth out their blanket, she gave an odd little sigh and sank to the ground as if in slow motion. By the time he'd caught her and laid her on the sleeping fur, she was unconscious.

~*~



/Angel Grove, the Present /

Billy lowered the laser tool he'd been using to fine-tune the second of the adjusted portalcoms and stepped back with a satisfied sigh.

"Finished," he announced quietly to the room at large.

As if electrified, Tommy jumped up from the dais step he'd been sitting on. He'd been glad to help, but had run out of things he could do some time ago, and the renewed inactivity had been grating on him, although he'd done his best to hide it.

"Finally! Can we bring them home now?"

Billy smiled, understanding his impatience. Frankly, he was amazed how well Tommy had weathered the waiting, and how much unexpected patience he'd shown. All things considered, anyway.

"Of course. I will initiate the portal-forming sequence right away. Justin, if you will activate your portalcom? We need to be synchronized."

"Sure, Billy." The young Blue Turbo Ranger put his hand on the mechanism. "On three?"

"Affirmative." Billy reached for the switch to turn on the device, then hesitated. With a slight frown, he looked over his shoulder at his friends. "If you will kindly step back and clear sufficient space for the temporal field to form," he requested very politely of the room at large.

Sheepishly, the former Rangers, including the Turbo team, retreated back to the perimeter of the Power Chamber. In their eagerness to see Jason and Kat return, they'd unthinkingly crowded not only Billy, but the area designated for the time hole to form.

"Oops," Zack muttered to Rocky, who shrugged, barely managing to contain his exited grin.

"Uh huh."

Aisha cuffed both of them, but she, too, was smiling broadly. "Come on guys, let's get out of the way."

"Yes, Ma'am!" Rocky saluted smartly, then ducked behind Adam. Trini and Tanya exchanged a long-suffering glance at their antics.



"Go for it, Billy," Adam quietly encouraged their resident genius. "I don't think Tommy can take much more," he added /sotto voce/.

"You got that right," Kimberly murmured.

Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed that the current Rangers were huddling in their own, separate little group closer to Justin, but that was merely incidental. Most of her attention was fixed on her erstwhile boyfriend, whose stake in the process was higher than anyone else's. All of them wished for their friends to return safe and sound, but no-one was closer to Jason than Tommy; right from the start the two had bonded more strongly than brothers. As for Kat ... a hidden corner of her heart might cry out in pain at the thought that with her back in the present, Tommy would be lost to herself forever, but she resolutely squelched the sentiment. Ultimately, she wanted only to see him happy. If that was with another woman, so be it.

I gave him up. I broke his heart. I have no right.

She'd deal with the consequences later. In this hour, Tommy needed her unstinting support.

And since I can't give him back my heart - if he even wanted it - I can at least give him that.

Out loud, though, all she said was "Hang in there" as she took hold of Tommy's hand, gave it an encouraging squeeze and summoned a smile for his benefit. "We're all as eager as you are."

Tommy returned the pressure of her fingers gratefully. "I know; thanks," he murmured, then added with greater urgency, "Billy - please?!?"

The blond nodded. "Right away. Justin - on my mark. One - two - thr-"

He never managed to finish; instead, the countdown was interrupted by the blaring of the Power Chamber's alarm klaxon for a second time that day.

"Yo, yo, yo - a whole school of Piranhatrons are attacking the park! There's also a monster on the loose downtown, and I read at least one detonator at the harbor!"

Instantly, the Turbo team jumped into action. Justin abandoned his position without a second thought and fell into formation with TJ and the others.

"Shift into Turbo!"

And in five streaks of colored light, the Rangers teleported out, leaving the group of friends - and the portalcoms - behind.

~*~



"DAMMIT!"

Tommy's enraged shout spoke for all of them, expressing exactly the frustration and even anger they all felt at this latest interruption.

"What is it with that pirate chick and her attacks, anyway?" Rocky muttered, sounding mightily peeved. "At least Rita and Zedd, or Mondo, knew that one attack per day was plenty. Doesn't she have to regroup, or something? And her timing is the absolute worst ever!"

"Why now? We were so close," Tommy groaned, barely refraining from banging his head against the nearest wall. "Billy, can someone else operate that thing?"

"I'll do it," Trini offered instantly, sending a sympathetic look in Tommy's direction. She was feeling pretty vexed herself; she didn't want to guess at Tommy's state of mind. "Or I'm sure Adam won't mind, if you'd prefer him."

The former Blue Ranger sighed and ran both hands through his hair as he replied to Trini. "I appreciate the offer, Trini, and I'd be glad to accept assistance from either one of you, but ... I dare noi." He glanced apologetically at Tommy.



Quite predictably, he exploded.

"What?!? Why not???"

"Yeah - I'm sure any one of us is capable of pushing a button," Rocky huffed. "You don't have to be a certified genius for /that/!"

"I agree," Billy said quietly, leaning against a console. After the hectic, intense work of the past few hours, he was feeling more than a little exhausted. "I wish it were that simple, however."

"It's not? Why?" Aisha asked curiously.

"Because of the current circumstances."

"Huh? Oh, you mean the attack," Zack realized. "What's so problematic about that?"

"Yeah - you did set up the whatsits here in the Power Chamber rather than the park because you said it'd be safer," Kimberly added.

"Normally it would be ... or more precisely, it would be safe for almost any other operation than what we're trying to do - namely, create a vortex that isn't random but aimed at a very specific point, both spatially and temporally. I can't emphasize enough the importance of utmost precision. Even the slightest disturbance could throw the vortex off."

"What kind of disturbance are you thinking of?" Tanya wondered. "I mean, the complex here is supposed to be pretty much unassailable ..."

"I think I know," Adam said unexpectedly, before Billy could reply. "It has to do with Divatox's methods, right?"

"Exactly," Billy nodded. Seeing the blank looks around him, he smiled humourlessly. "Think, guys. Alpha mentioned a detonator. If the Rangers don't manage to deactivate it in time, the resultant explosion would send off seismic shockwaves that normally wouldn't bother us much, this distant from the harbor; however, considering the delicacy of the instruments ..."

"... it might well be enough to disrupt things," Trini sighed. "Blast!"

Kim gave her a very strange look at her choice of words, and Trini couldn't help a tiny sheepish giggle, which she stifled almost immediately. Tommy frowned, thinking for a moment, then slumped as his leader's instinct and experience with the Space Pirate kicked in.

"And if it's not the detonator, it might be the torpedoes Divatox uses to make her monsters grow."

"Unfortunately yes," Billy agreed unhappily. "I don't like this further delay, either, but ... I think we can count on the latter, at least."

"Yeah. Shit."

"I concur fully, Tommy. My apologies."

He managed a too-brief smile. "Not your fault, Billy. I know you're doing your best."

"My main - my only concern is Jason and Katherine's safety," the blond said quietly. "If it weren't for that ..."

Tommy drew a deep, shuddering breath. "I know." Then, he turned on his heel and left the Power Chamber. The others exchanged helpless looks, then settled back to wait. All except Kimberly, who elected to follow her former boyfriend

She found him hunched over a spare console, staring at a blank wall in one of the out-of-the-way storage rooms, looking terribly forlorn for all the nervous tension and barely contained agitation rolling off him in waves, like a mirage hovering at the horizon. She knew he had to be aware of her presence - after all, her steps had echoed rather loudly on the steel-plated flooring despite her slight build - but he chose to ignore her.

This is so getting old, she couldn't help thinking. /How often have I found him brooding on his own these past few days? Too often, /Kim decided. Then again, she knew him pretty well; sooner or later, Tommy would need to vent his feelings. Well, she could wait for that, as she'd done so often before. However, this time the wait proved to be longer than usual.

"It's only a short delay, Tommy," Kim ventured when the silence between them threatened to become as oppressive as the desert heat outside. "You know that the battles very rarely last longer than an hour at most."

"The team had to split up. There are three trouble spots," he said curtly, not looking at her.

"So it'll take a couple hours instead of one - but that's all. We've waited four days; what's a little more? At least now we know we can get them back as soon s it's safe." Kim was trying to be reassuring, but realized she'd failed miserably when Tommy glared at her over his shoulder.

"A 'little more'? Haven't you heard Billy and Adam explain about the time difference? They've been stuck in the past for two YEARS already; even without a calculator I know that two hours for us mean almost three weeks or so for Kat and Jase!"

"I, uh ..." Doing some fast calculations herself, Kimberly winced as the truth of his statement hit her. "Ouch. Sorry, I didn't think ..."

"Nobody seems to."

"That's not fair, and you know it, Tommy," she protested. "We're all worried and anxious, but I for one happen to believe Billy's right in this. Jase and Kat are pretty resourceful people; they'll be okay."

"You don't know that."

"Not so that I can prove it, no," Kim conceded. She wished she had dialled up the lights when she'd entered; it was hard to make out his expression in the shady dimness surrounding them. "But in here" she touched her heart "I do know it. I can't explain why, but I just feel that we'll get them back if we just have a little more patience now and wait until it's safe to open that time hole."

"Patience," Tommy sighed. "That's all everybody's been preaching since the start of this mess? Only, how much is enough? How much more am I supposed to have? Because I'm almost running on empty here ..."

Eyes brimming with compassion, Kim walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting pat.

"I know, Tommy. We all do. Are. These constant delays are getting to us, too."

At last, he turned to look into the warm doe-brown eyes.

"Yeah well, but none of you guys has as much stake in this as I do," he mumbled. "No offense, but ..."

"None taken," she smiled. At least Tommy was talking, not brooding silently over their friends' possible misfortunes. "And yeah, you're right. But, we're here to help you - if you let us."

He chewed on that a bit, then grinned briefly, ruefully. "I would, if there was anything you could do to help."

Kimberly returned the smile. "Well, you can at least let us hold your hand while we wait," she suggested.

"I'd like to see Rocky's or Zack's face if I started holding hands with them," he snorted, trying for humor he wasn't really feeling. Kim had to giggle at the mental image.

"So would I."

The two shared a more genuine smile then. However, the moment didn't last long. Sobering again, she drew a deep breath. Her heart told her to do one thing, while her mind urged caution. However, Kimberly had always listened more to the former than the latter, so she offered slender fingers to him.

"Will I do?" she asked softly. The implication was clear.

To her relief, Tommy accepted after only a brief hesitation. "Perfectly." His hand closed around hers.

"Thank you," Kim whispered, truly grateful.

"For what?" Tommy asked, puzzled.

"For trusting me that much."

"You were always a great friend, Kim. The best, really. Thank /you/."

"Even after ...you know?" she murmured, touched.

Tommy sighed. "Yes," he replied slowly. "I don't know what happened that made you fall out of love with me, and I guess after all this time it doesn't really matter anymore, but somehow, even when you sent me that letter, deep down I never once doubted your friendship."

If only you knew, she thought to herself, hiding a grimace of guilt and remembered pain. /I never fell out of love with you at all ...I just thought I could. I was wrong. /Out loud, all she said was, "And you have it still."

"I know."

They stared at each other for a long time then, each wanting to ask certain questions of the other ... and each knowing that now was most definitely not the time.

Maybe one day.

At last, Kim broke the tableau by giving Tommy's hand a gently insistent pull.

"Come on - you can at least try holding hands with the guys figuratively," she suggested with a trace of sudden impishness. "While I'll try not to die laughing, picturing you clinging to Rocky like some six-foot damsel in distress."

Tommy couldn't help himself, he grinned. Kim could always cheer him up, no matter the circumstances.

"Yeah, right. Not."

"Aww. You're no fun," she pouted. Tommy wisely decided not to comment, and presently they went back inside, to monitor the Rangers' progress in the current battle on the Power Chamber's viewing screens.

~*~



/Angel Grove, the Past /

Kat opened her eyes slowly, to find that it was broad daylight and she was lying wrapped in her furs, close to the entrance of their shelter, while Jason was sitting not far away at the fire - sideways so that he could keep an eye on her even as he was tending the small flame. She stretched slowly, feeling a peculiar lassitude in her limbs, and an unaccustomed heaviness in her heart. For a second, she was disoriented, didn't know why she was so listless, then she remembered.

They'd lost their baby - had buried her not far from camp.

Tears welled up in her eyes, and she lifted a hand to wipe them away, but was surprised at how much effort the small gesture cost her.

Why, I'm weaker than a kitten, /she realized, frowning. She didn't remember lying down, just walking back from the tiny grave with Jason's support. They'd approached the campsite, she'd noticed the sunlight - how incongruous a sight /that had been, when there was so much darkness in her soul! - then ... nothing.

A quick glance at the position of the sun showed her that it was morning again; it had been early afternoon when they'd laid Dorilene to rest.

I must have passed out, or something. A good thing Jase was there to help me.

The faint grumbling in her stomach told her that it was high time she fed herself; when was the last time she'd eaten something, anyway?

That rabbit I'd been roasting before I went to get water and fell down the bank. Which wasn't much - I had no appetite with worrying over my baby. No wonder I'm so hungry.

But there seemed to be something cooking on the fire; Jason was carefully stirring in the old cookie can they were using as a cook pot. It was getting rather rusty and the bottom leaked, despite their best attempts to keep it whole. They'd need to come up with a replacement of some sort soon ... maybe a large animal skull if they found one, or a hollow stone ... Kat heard her stomach growling again and considered calling for Jason's help. She knew he'd bring her something if she asked.

But I hate eating in bed. Better to sit at the fire and drink the soup or whatever he's making.

Kat tried to get up, but much to her surprise found/ /that she could manage nothing more than rolling onto her side. Neither her arms nor her legs would cooperate enough to get her into an upright position. And as for lifting her head ...

"Ohh."

The small groan she emitted involuntarily as a nova of pain exploded behind her eyes was barely audible, and yet it brought Jason to her side immediately.

"Kat?"

The deep voice sounded rusty and hoarse, but his deep concern was almost tangible. Kat found a tiny smile, feeling oddly grateful. As she gazed into the worried dark eyes, she saw that there were new shadows lurking in their depths - shades of pain that hadn't been there the last time she'd looked. Small wonder; she knew he must be feeling their loss as much as she. Kat blinked back fresh tears. Jason scrutinized her thoroughly; when he realized that she was indeed lucid, some of those shadows disappeared. He returned her smile.

"You're awake," he stated the obvious, sounding oddly relieved.

"Mmm. Sorta," she mumbled.

"Good. You had me worried," he admitted.

"Sorry. Did I pass out?"

"Yeah. But it's okay; you'd been through a lot."

"So have you," she said softly.

Jason only shrugged. "At least I didn't give birth."

"I miscarried," Kat corrected him sadly.

"Same difference."

"Maybe."

The topic was painful for both of them, so Jason cleared his throat and offered her another smile. "Did you want something? Is there anything I can do for you?"

She was about to answer, when her stomach did it for her. Jason grinned at the loud growl. "Ah," he smiled. "Hang on a sec, I'll get you something warm."

"No, help me up, please? I hate eating in bed."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to overtax yourself ..."

"Quite sure," she asserted, trying to raise her body again. Immediately, one of his arms went around her back while his free hand helped pull her up. To her surprise, Kat found colourful spots dancing before her eyes, she swayed and would have sunk back down if Jason hadn't drawn her against his chest. Closing her eyes, she rested for a minute or two, waiting for her head to stop pounding.

"'m dizzy," she complained at last. Why did her own voice sound so reedy and as weak as she felt?

"You really shouldn't try to get up yet," he cautioned. "You've been flat on your back too long."

Kat frowned. "I don't see how a day or so in bed can make me so wussy," she muttered. "I'd honestly thought that I was tougher by now." And she really, /really /wanted something to eat now. It was almost as if getting upright had increased the hunger pangs in her belly tenfold.

Leaning against the broad chest, she couldn't help but notice how Jason's breath hitched - something she might have missed otherwise. She glanced up into his bearded face.

Funny, I don't remember him looking so gaunt yesterday. He looks almost as if he hasn't slept nor eaten properly for days ... even taking into account that he must be grieving as much as I am, and that he's worried over me.

Slowly, it registered in Kat's tired mind that Jason wasn't looking at her, but staring out towards the lake instead. Also, he'd been silent too long. She could almost sense her thoughts skittering around in her brain, tumbling up and over, hither and yon until they gradually clicked together into a coherent picture. One that Kat didn't want to see. However, she had a suspicion it was the correct one. It would explain so much - her inexplicably great weakness, her gnawing hunger, the faint soreness in places she didn't know she had ... swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat, Kat made herself reach out and touched his cheek. Reluctantly, the dark head turned towards her, his expression guarded.

"How long was I unconscious, Jase?" she asked softly. "The truth."

He remained mute a little longer, then gave her the answer she'd requested.

"About two days." That still shouldn't have been long enough to debilitate her so much, and Kat was about to tell him so. However, before she could do more than open her mouth, he put a gentle finger on her lips to stop her from protesting. "You may have been more or less conscious after that, but you were hardly awake," he said. "You developed a fever."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, but it seems as if there was some infection. I tried my best, but ..."

Well, that explained both his appearance and the uncomfortable soreness in her nether regions, as well as the dull ache in her breasts. Kat didn't know whether she truly had had puerperal fever - if she did, it was a miracle Jason had managed to nurse her through it - but it certainly had been serious enough.

"It's not your fault that I gave birth under less than sterile conditions, Jason," she said gently. "I know you did what you could."

"It wasn't enough."

Kat couldn't know - and if Jason had any say in the matter, never would - that she'd been burning up with fever and had been delirious for most of the time following her collapse. Nor would he tell her how afraid he'd been for her very life, not daring to let her out of his sight for more than a minute, and even then only when it was unavoidable.

The bitterness in his voice astounded her. Kat puzzled over it for a second, then put it to the back of her mind. There were other, more immediate concerns.

"How long was I sick?" she asked at last. That had been their greatest worry - that either of them would fall seriously ill. And if one of them did, anyway ... somehow, Kat had always assumed it would be her nursing Jason back to health, not the other way around. It hadn't happened that way, and obviously Jason had done a good job of it. /If he hadn't, I'd most likely be dead now, /Kat realized with a shudder. It was a thought that was deeply disturbing, yet comforting at the same time.

Sighing, Jason replied at last. "Today's the ninth day."

Stunned, Katherine stared at him. "I was out of it for over eight days?!?" No wonder I'm feeling so washed up!

"Pretty much, yes."

"Oh." The implications were mind-blowing, and she fought off a threatening dizzy spell that wasn't entirely related to sitting up again after a long illness. Kat knew in her bones that Jason wouldn't have left her alone during that time, but two years of hard living - of plain struggling for survival - had taught her to look beyond the immediate. She cast a suspicious glance towards their 'cellar', and noticed Jason squirming uncomfortably - even guiltily as he followed the direction her eyes were taking. A sinking feeling began to envelope her.

"Did you hunt during that time?" she asked nonetheless, dreading the answer.

"Not much," he admitted. 'Not at all' came much closer to reality, but he decided to keep that to himself for now. Kat would learn about it soon enough. "I tried to fish some, but ..."

"What about gathering fruit, or roots?"

He met her eyes. "Sorry, neither - I couldn't. I used our provisions. You were too ill to leave alone for long, so I had to make do with what we already had." His tone was matter-of-fact, but that didn't lessen the almost physical blow the news dealt to Kat. She'd worked so hard the past few weeks, limited as she had been by her pregnancy, and still their larder wasn't as full as she would have liked. Anxiously, she prodded for the rest of it.

"How ... how much is left?"

Jason grimaced. "Practically nothing, I'm afraid. You couldn't eat solids, so I had to cook up what I could, to make broths."

And they had no refrigeration, so everything he'd prepared would have had to be consumed in one day. Which meant they were worse off than they had been two years ago - at least then, they had had everything in plenty still. Not harvested, plucked, hunted or dug up by two near-starving people for months.

"Oh my."

Kat wanted nothing more than to take it easy for a few days, to slowly regain her strength ... and most of all mourn her loss, come to terms with her baby's death in due time, but she knew with a sickening feeling in her gut that she wasn't going to be so lucky.

Not if they wanted to survive.

With a sigh, she tried once more to stand, but Jason pressed her down gently.

"Let me up! I need to see how bad it is, start thinking about restocking our provisions, and where to go to replace what we can ..."

His dark eyes regarded her seriously. "I know, and I'll help you any way I can," he promised. "But please, Kat - you've only just woken up from your fever; never mind that I don't think you've quite recovered from giving birth, and ... well, what happened after." Jason swallowed hard, showing that he, too, was by no means over their tragedy. "Don't you think it'll be better if you take it easy for another day? It won't make that much of a difference."

Tiredly, Kat hung her head. Her long hair, reaching down almost to her waist by now, fell into her eyes and she tucked the strands behind her ears irritatedly. "I guess not," she murmured at last. Giving in to his urging, she sank back onto the furs. As she stretched out, she had to admit that she wasn't at all unhappy about waiting some more time; even the small effort she'd made at getting up had almost completely sapped what little strength she had.

"But we'll have to try and collect more food tomorrow. Or ..."

"Or we'll be in deep shit, I know," Jason agreed bluntly, relieved that she was taking his advice. He'd come to value her ability to make decisions on her own, appreciated how she rarely called on him for help, but Kat's willingness to accept her own limits was the thing that had helped the most during their exile. It had made it that much easier for him to reciprocate, until they had truly grown into a team, each doing what they could on their own yet helping the other without hesitation when needed.

"Tomorrow it is, then." He looked briefly towards the fire. "There's some broth left; do you want some?" He didn't need to add that nourishment, however sparse, was the only thing that could help Kat get back on her feet. She knew that all by herself.

Kat ventured a tiny grin. "If you've cooked it, not really," she teased, spoiling the effect by a yawn. "But I think I'd better risk it."

Jason mock-glared at her. "My cooking's not that bad!"

"Well ... you haven't poisoned me yet, anyway," she conceded, watching sleepily as he poured some soup from their cooking pot - the cookie can that had been in her picnic basket - into one of the plastic cups. Wrapping an unsteady hand around the container, she judged the temperature to be just about right. Drinking it lying down was next to impossible, though, so Kat gratefully leaned against Jason's shoulder once more as she took a first, cautious sip, then another. It wasn't bad at all, even for just hot water flavoured with just a few strips of dried meat and some cut-up roots. Suddenly ravenous, she drank faster.

"Well?"

"It's okay, I guess; I'm not dead yet," she teased, but her heart wasn't really in it. Neither was Jason's; he couldn't quite pull off the challenging 'I-dare-you-say-it's-bad' look he was trying for as he refilled the cup before she could ask. Both were too exhausted and heart-sore.

"You won't be. Not if I can help it," Jason vowed, suddenly serious.

"I know. Thank you," Kat whispered, feeling close to tears again. Closing her eyes against the onrush, she let him settle her under the blanket again, and finally drifted off into a healing sleep.

~*~



The next day, the two castaways set out to replenish their food, but didn't manage to gather much. Game was scarce in the summer anyway; the wild turkeys and rabbits had grown wary of the Humans hunting them, and kept well out of their way. Jason half-heartedly set a few snares, but had to admit that there was little hope of catching anything substantial. Instead, he proposed to concentrate on fishing the next few days; at least they'd be able to preserve whatever he managed to catch by smoking it.

Kat wasn't much more successful in her harvesting. Due to the limitations set on her by her pregnancy, she'd pretty much cleared all the fruit and berries she could reach without too much effort in the weeks gone by. Mushrooms wouldn't ripen until fall, neither would nuts. And while she was once again able to climb up into the higher branches, a lot of the fruit growing in the vicinity had already been spoiled by birds, insects or the summer heat.

Things were looking very grim, but they both refused to give up just yet. They hadn't survived for so long to let a few setbacks bring them down. However, when nearly a week of day-long foraging wasn't enough to restock their provisions, they finally had to admit defeat.

"There's nothing more here for us, Kat," Jason said grimly as they sat at their fire one night. "We've tried every place we know for several miles, but it's no use. We seem to have exhausted every food source we ever found. Not even the damned fish are cooperating; I haven't caught any decent-sized ones all week."

"If we only had a few more weeks," she said unhappily, unable to refute his accurate assessment. "Then the nut trees will be ready, and there's a spot on the other side of the lake I found last year that will have those long tubers, remember? But they're not ripe yet ..."

"Problem is, we can't wait a few weeks," he replied, rolling his head to relieve some of the strain in his back muscles. "We're barely managing to survive now. And nuts and mushrooms won't be enough, anyway."

As if in confirmation, Kat heard the faint rumbling of Jason's stomach, reminding her of her own hunger. So far, they'd scrounged enough food to get by, but it had been a long time since either of them could recall having eaten their fill. Two years of practically denuding the immediate area of edibles had been too much, apparently.

"I know," she admitted. "But what else can we do?" They had no tools except what they could fashion themselves, and neither Kat nor Jason knew enough about botany to start cultivating edible plants. Maybe in time they could find out how to do it, but time was the one thing that seemed to be in even shorter supply than food. It was high summer now, but all too soon fall, and worse weather, would be upon them.

Jason was quiet for long moments, clearly weighing what he was going to say. Kat felt a shiver of dread go down her spine. After being isolated with Jason so long, she recognized the signs all too well that whatever he was going to tell her was likely to be unpleasant, uncomfortable or both.

Unfortunately, he's been right most of the time.

At last, Jason decided he could hold off no longer.

"I've been thinking about that all day yesterday and today," he began. "Fact is that we can't find enough food to last us a week, much less the winter. Not here, anyway."

"What do you mean, not here?" Kat wondered, silently acknowledging the truth in his words.

"Well ... it's kind of a long shot, but ... there's this valley slightly to the east, near where Stone Canyon is going to be. It's pretty well hidden, but Rocky and Adam took me there once. It has no lake, but a decent creek for water, there are caves for shelter, and I'm fairly certain that there'll be a lot of wildlife and fruit trees and so on for us to live on," he continued. "There still is in our time, after all, due to some preservationist activities. And I seem to remember Adam telling me that that valley was the reason why the early settlers stayed there in the first place. Plenty of natural resources."

"What? You mean ... move away?"

"Yeah."

"But ... but we can't leave!"

"I don't see that we have much choice, Kat," Jason sighed. "You've seen for yourself how depleted this area is."

"Yes, but ... what about our shelter?" she protested, aghast at the very idea. They couldn't be leaving this place - it was their home! Familiar yet not ... they knew the park, or what would become Angel Grove Park by 'their' time; it was where they'd been stranded, where they'd lived, became a couple, conceived and buried a baby ... it was unthinkable!

"We /can't/, Jason!"

He snorted lightly. "I'm sorry, Kat, but I can't see how we /can/," he refuted. "You've seen for yourself how bad the food situation is; there's simply not enough left for us to last any length of time."

If only he hadn't been right ... she bit her lip. "If I hadn't tried to climb that bank ... if I only hadn't miscarried ..." Tears of guilt and frustration choked her voice.

Jason scooted over to her, draped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a consoling hug. "We still would be facing this decision," he murmured, kissing her temple. "Only maybe a few weeks later. It's not your fault."

Kat sniffled once. "I wish I were that sure."

"Trust me, you're not. Sure, your pregnancy made it impossible to stock more food, but the responsibility for that is as much mine as yours. And if Dorilene had lived ... I doubt that with a newborn to care for you would've found it much easier to forage."

They both fell silent for a few seconds as they recalled once more the face of their baby. Kat closed her eyes before more than a single tear could escape. The time for crying was past; she could mourn in different ways.

"M-maybe ..."

"Not maybe, certainly," Jason assured her. "I don't particularly like the idea of moving someplace else myself, but I really don't see that we have another choice."

They hadn't, and very, very reluctantly Kat had to admit it. Sadly, she looked around their campsite, lit only by a waning crescent moon and the small fire.

"We spent so much time and effort to build this , lived here so long..."

"Yeah, and I believe we made a pretty good job of it, all things considered. We'll just have to take whatever we can along," Jason said reasonably. "I can probably rig a travois or something to pull most of our things that are moveable, we can even gather provisions on the way ... and everything else, we can rebuild."

She sighed. Everything within her rebelled at the thought of leaving, but Jason was right, they didn't have a choice if they wanted to survive. It all came down to that. And whatever fighting spirit she had told her to do whatever was necessary to live through another day, another week, month ... however long they could.

"But - Stone Canyon! It's much too far!"

"Only fifty miles or so. If we pace ourselves, we should be able to make it in four days, even on foot and with stuff to carry. Maybe five, tops, but I think we can do it."

"It's 48 miles on the highway," Kat pointed out, instinctively starting to consider practicalities now that she began to accept the idea. "Which won't be built for centuries. You're talking about going over rough, uncharted terrain."

"There are shortcuts we can take that we couldn't following the highway because of developments and privately-owned property," Jason said. "I'm pretty sure the distance isn't any greater even going cross-country. And the area isn't very dangerous."

"Hmm, yeah," Kat mused, picturing the map in her head. She'd driven to Stone Canyon quite a few times with Aisha and knew the way. "You really think we'd have a better chance there?"

Jason shrugged. "I can't say for sure," he admitted. "But the odds for our survival if we stay are slim to none. If I have to choose between the possibility of finding more food and a new shelter elsewhere and the as-good-as-certain chance of starving here ..."

"... moving is the only choice," Kat sighed, conceding the point. "Very well then."

He sent her a grateful look across the dancing flames. "Thanks," he said softly.

"For what?" She frowned at the apparent /non sequitur/.

"For not making a fuss," Jason explained. "For ... well, being sensible as usual, I guess. I know this is not an easy decision for you, that you really had your heart set on staying close to the place where we got stranded. Trust me, I'd love to remain here, too." His eyes strayed briefly towards the edge of the forest, to the boulder where a small mound of fresh earth was barely visible through the night. They both would leave more than just memories behind.

Kat quirked a tiny smile. "As we found out, we can't. Not if we want to live. And while it's going to hurt like hell, I don't want to die if I can help it. Not as long as we still can fight. We worked too hard to make it this long - I won't give up yet."

"That's the spirit," he approved, then got up and started to bank the fire. "I suggest we get a good night's rest and start preparing to leave in the morning."

"Right." Sighing, Kat stood as well. Soon, they were ready for sleep and settled side-by-side under their furs. As she stared into the velvety night sky, watching the stars, Kat wished Jason would gather her in his arms and hold her, to give her the inner warmth she wanted so desperately, but he just lay there until his even breathing told her he'd fallen asleep. Gulping a little wistfully, she turned onto her side, wondering why he'd almost completely stopped touching her since her fever had broken. There was no answer she could see, and eventually Kat followed him into slumber.





To Be Continued ...