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Impassiveness

"Pein-sama, we need to talk, un." Deidara didn't bother knocking as he barreled through the door of Pein's office. He had multiple bandages wrapped around his head, bald patches littered his scalp , and the smell of singed hair followed him everywhere. His head was too sore to wash. "I want out of these damn games, right now!"

Pein looked up slowly from his paper work to give the blonde a dangerous, glassy stare. "Deidara, first of all, use your hands to knock next time, before you have no hands at all. Secondly, this is a mission, and you are an S-class missing nin, need I remind you. You are doing this because it benefits your teammates improvement. That prioritizes your own complaints."

Deidra sighed irritably. "I understand that this is training for them, but I never agreed to be humiliated or almost scorched to a burnt crisp!" The artist didn't really see how this was succeeding in anything but the cruel amusement of the other members.

A barely audible sigh passed Pein's lips. Deidara pressed on "And why am I being punished each time I lose, hm? What am I, a grounded teenage girl? I want some type of justice here, hm!" Deidara held back the urge to stamp his foot like a little kid. Pein looked at him, not appreciating his tone.

"Now, I made Itachi put the fire out." Pein said. Deidara held his glare. After a few moments, Pein spoke again.

"Okay. I have a deal for you, Deidara. Now listen carefully. This is the only thing that will get you out of this mission, understand?" Deidara glanced at the leader suspiciously, finally nodding slowly.

"If you win today's challenge, and only if you win today's challenge, can you resign from this mission. I will let either Tobi, or Itachi take your place as the member's opponent." Pein stared at him awaiting his response. Deidara didn't see any other way out of this besides Pein's offer, so after a moment he nodded.

"Deal." He smiled a little. There was no way he was going to lose this challenge... Whatever it may be.

...

"Quite, everyone. Thank you. Okay..." Konan pulled out her clip board once again, everyone's eyes on her. Deidara with a determined gleam in his. This would be his last challenge.

"Today's challenge is... Deidara VS. Sasori!"

"Oooh, it's artist VS. artist!" Tobi cheered. Konan looked at Pein for conformation and he nodded.

"Sasori, you are very impassive; Pein and I agree, that is your weakness. While that quality may be propitious at times, there may come an instance in which you are forced to take on a seemingly emotional state. And, as far as I know, you have never even acted emotional, and that can become an issue in the future during missions."

Sasori gave Konan a blank stare. "Your point is?"

"You simply need to work on your acting skills. Therefore, to warm you up, your challenge is a sing-off against your partner, Deidara."

Pein nodded. "This will hopefully get you used to the practice of manipulating your vocal cords in order to make them more flexible in different ranges during crucial circumstances." With that, Pein once again made hand signs and two microphones on mic stands appeared on the bare stage.

"This is ridiculous." Sasori said, almost rolling his eyes. "As if I need to do some petty singing in order to be convincing during missions." Deidara stared at his danna. Once again, perhaps this wasn't the best strategy, but what the heck. He couldn't remember the last time, if at all, when Sasori showed any expression in a situation besides boredom or annoyance. Though he was deadly, most of the time, he felt as if he had a lifeless doll for a partner.

"No problem, Sasori-san," Tobi chirped as he hopped onto the stage grasping a mic. "I have a talent for singing, I'll pass your challenge for you if you want!" Tobi began to cough out an awful tune that sounded all too similar to a dying horse being simultaneously stabbed and drowned. Everyone flinched and covered their ears.

"Dear lord Jashin! Save me from this blasphemy this instant!" Hidan cried clawing at his ears savagely.

"No, Tobi, I've got it..." Sasori clicked his joints and stood up, eager to make the masked man shut up.

Tobi stumbled off the stage, blubbering. "Alright. There aren't many rules. Konan and I will determine the best singer and that will be the winner. Whoever loses will once again, be punished as usual."

Deidara felt he had it in the bag. Who could lose against an emotionless puppet anyway? "Danna, get ready to take my place in toilet clean up duty... un." He smirked as he grabbed a mic. Sasori didn't seem as reluctant as he thought he'd be. He observed as he grabbed the other stand and glances at him with half lidded brown eyes.

"Whatever, brat."

"Now who will start?" Konan asked.

"I'll go, un." Let me show Danna what he's up against. After all Deidara wasn't the worst singer in the world. He never bragged on about it like his art, but when it came to it he wasn't exactly shy about it either. "Pein-sama, play 'The Bomber On The Bank.'" He said with a cocky smirk. His voice was born for that song.

Pein readied himself with the music player, finding the song on the play track he recently bought. "Found it. This challenge starts... now." He slammed the button and out came a hard and poppy song as it began, the blonde swung the mic stand and gripped the mic as the first words were approaching.

"Last night... I saw you. You were in the bank... I didn't know that you were a bomber…" Deidara swayed to the beat of the song as everyone was quite, listening.

"I took your arm as we jumped along the river bed, I couldn't, no I couldn't baaaabyyyy... Getcha outta my head, oh no..." Deidara glanced at Sasori and winked at him. The redhead stared back at him, looking bored and unimpressed as usual. The song went on and the blonde continued in the best voice he could muster up. The members weren't screaming and wincing in distaste like with Tobi, everyone just stared. Finally the song was finished and Deidara looked up at the celling with content. 'Heh, I think that was the best I've ever sang, un.'

After a few seconds everyone clapped except for Pein and Sasori of course. Deidara bowed and stood, waiting for Sasori's turn.

"Well done, Deidara. That wasn't bad." Konan nodded in approval, looking slightly impressed.

"Let's see if you can top that, Danna, hm." Sasori rolled his eyes at his grinning partner.

"I'll do what I do, brat. Leader, play 'Lead Me To The Doll House.'" He said dryly.

"...Start." The leader said as the music began. Sasori gripped the microphone. Slowly bringing it to his wooden lips as a soft country like song began to play. He looked as if he were about to collapse from boredom. Which is why Deidara almost had a heart attack from what left the puppet master's mouth.

"Oooh aaaaah ha haaaa LAAAAAAH..." Sasori belted out as he began. His smooth soft voice rose tremendously as he spat out beautiful sounds. "La la, ohh... When I was in the shack talkin' out back, I didn't realize you'd be in my mind in the doll house..." Deidara was about to gape, but he held it back. He was NOT about to give the redhead the satisfaction. There was no way he was the better singer. Sasori's usually emotional face was scrunched in a concentrated, soulful expression. Everyone else's mouths were agape, even Itachi and Pein looked a little surprised. Never in a million years did Deidara think Sasori could sing that good.

Sasori paid everyone no mind as he got into a heated part of the song. "Oh yeah, take me to the doll house, take me to the doll house, women. Show me all the dolls you got and tell me, cause my heart is broken..." Sasori threw his head back, red mop of hair flying back in his movement. Deidara heard a dreamy sigh, and to his horror, he saw Konan looking at Sasori with very interested eyes. A look of fire seized his icy ones. He'd be sentenced to an eternity of torturous punishment and chores if he lost this. No way. He gripped his mic again. Although he'd say this song lacked in artistic taste, he knew it too!

Sasori continued to let loose his beautiful, smooth voice. "Oh women, show me your nice green eyes, and your sweet face i- "

"My disguise, un! And when I hold you in my arms-"

"Don't be alarmed, no don't be alarmed..." Sasori gave the blonde an annoyed look as he fought to take back over his song. The blonde glared back, determined.

"Oh baby don't you see me cry when-"

"I see the sky the sky, I see the sky-"

"So don't touch me inside the house ca-"

"Cause I see you inside my mind, cause you're voice is-"

"MY DISGUISE, UN!" Deidara screeched trying to overpower Sasori's angelic voice, finally snapping. Sasori gave him one of the most murderous glares a puppet could give.

"Enough of this.", Pein said, voice dangerously icy.

"Deidara. You had no right to interrupt Sasori's turn." Konan glared lightly looking a bit too disappointed that Sasori was no longer singing.

"Yeah, dumbass, I was enjoying that, dammit!" Hidan said irritably. The room became loud with complaints

"Hey, un! No one got that worked up about my singing, I demand a redo!" The blonde yelled indignantly.

"I think it's clear who the true winner is, Deidara." Pein announced. He looked at the irritated redhead. "You have flawlessly proven to us all that you are capable of manipulating your voice in certain situations. You are the winner of this challenge and will not be punished."

Sasori sighed. "You're forgetting, I'm a puppet, not a robot. Just because i haven't shown my emotions doesn't mean I've lost them. It was always the physical things I couldn't feel. It was never the emotional things." He said austerely as if those statements were the most obvious in the world.

"...Ahh..." Tobi said, breaking the silence.

"Deidara, You have lost this challenge. Your salary has gone down 10% and you are expected to fulfill cooking responsibilities for the next month."

"Screw this all, un!" The blonde seethed, face red, on the verge of having an aneurysm. He spun around on Kakuzu who was sitting on the couch with a sparkle in his eye. "What the hell are you happy about, old man?!" Deidara growled.

Kakuzu's eyes quickly narrowed into a defensive glare. "You need to calm down Deidara. It's not my fault you continue to fail." Kakuzu rejoiced inwardly. More money stored into the Akatsuki's savings. The blonde sneered at him.

"We made a deal. You must accept the results." Pein finished placidly.

A/N: Alright. Don't hold back. Why not give me some criticism? Please review and tell me what you think :)