FicWad

He always called.

Gerard stared at the call screen of his phone with great disdain. It was 8:20PM. Frank should've answered his phone, but all that came up for the last five minutes was a stupid voice message and no answers.

Gerard and Frank had a pact since they met in Freshmen year of high school to always call when Frank got back from the hospital.

The hospital, that is, was more or less home to his Mother after her years of drug and alcohol abuse finally caught up with her. Frank said she had been stuck in there with all sorts of problems, but refused to tell him about what they were.

Pressing the call button for the eighth time, Gerard didn't even bother to hear it ring again. They were both Juniors in high school now, so needless to say, their late night phone calls were a thing of ritual by now.

Every single night, even that one time when Gerard's Mom took his phone away, he got a hold of Frank by a shitty phone booth in the middle of town. So now he was breaking it?

Gerard felt his heart skip a beat and let the horrible images in his mind take control. Frank might've broken his phone, but who the Hell breaks their phone at a hospital of all places? Not to mention, they gave out portable chargers for phones for people who needed one more than antiseptic. So what the hell?

Jumping up from his bed, Gerard threw on the same clothes he wore that day in a hurry, and shoved his window open. He could see Frank's house from his open window, he could make it if he ran fast enough.

He didn't quite know why yet, but Gerard got an itching at the sides of his subconscious mind that wasn't just overthinking.

Something was wrong.

Frank Iero sat in the corner of his bedroom hurt, small, and more alone than he had ever felt in his life. Of course, always alone.

Gripped tight in his fist was his Father's handgun he gave him that night after telling him to, "Just go kill yourself and die! Fucking brat!"

So useless little Frankie limped up to his room, gun in hand. He wondered why he couldn't just get this over with before. He only fell to the floor when the weight of his pain became too much to keep himself upright.

Along with the gun, Frank held a small razor he always kept in his jacket pocket, and pulled up his sleeve. He sliced open 23 new cuts along with the ones that had opened up while running home.

Tears pooled from the teenager's eyes as blood and the smell of pennies overcame the shit air of his room. He might've cut the vein, but the pain felt so good he didn't even notice. Or care, for that matter.

Dropping the rusty razor on the floor, Frank took the gun in his hands right as he heard a whisky bottle being thrown and the front door slam. His Dad left, meaning no one but Gerard, or maybe Mikey would notice his missing the next morning.

Gerard. Frank's heart stuttered when he thought of him. What would Gerard think? He recalled one night after Frank's nightly hospital visit when they were watching Blade Runner at his house.

Mikey was sleeping on the floor and they were sat together on the couch. They were were in touching proximity and Gerard turned to him with pizza sauce on the corner of his mouth.

"Hey Frankie, you know you're my only friend in this shitty world except for Mikey?"  Frank rolled his eyes and they both laughed because they weren't taking it seriously. Gerard wasn't, anyway.

Frank turned the safety of the gun off just as he was struck with a thought. Would Gerard miss him? He knew he'd miss him, and that was the biggest understatement of his life. He would go to hell and back for Gerard.

He loved that asshole, but he knew Gerard wasn't gay. In fact, that was the median of his Father disowning and abusing Frank everyday. Gerard knew, that's why they always spent so much time together. Whether it was trying to help fix Frank, or alone watching Gerard draw in his room.

Time with him was like the one ray of sunshine his life. Could he live, knowing that he'd never love him back?

Frank shook his head and cocked the gun, shivering in anticipation at the clicking sound. One second, and his brains would be splattered all over the wall. His life would end and he wouldn't be in pain anymore. But it was Gerard who was stopping him. Gerard

Then, footsteps as fast as Frank's heartbeat pounded up the stairs. It startled him enough for him to pause with the cold barrel to his head and tears streaming down his face to look at his door. It was locked, so whoever it was, wasn't getting in unless Frank let them.

When the pounding stopped, this person ran towards the door, and jiggled the knob.

"Frank!? Frankie, are you in there? Please open the door!"

Frank gasped when he realized who had came for him and had to choke back more tears. Why would Gerard show up out of nowhere on a limb, though? Frank was knocked out of his thoughts again by his friend's voice through the door. "Frankie, Frankie, please," Gerard begged when he didn't respond. "I can't be too late.. It can't.. Frankie, please open the door."

The doorknob jiggled again. "I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner the shit you were going through. I thought you were getting better, and, and I could tell you how I really feel. I guess that's not happening so I need you to hear me, e-even if you're not listening."

Frank choked out another sob when Gerard's voice cracked. "I care about you, o-okay? So fucking much. I; I love you, Frankie. To hell and fucking back, okay!? Even if you can't hear me.. Please know that now. Please," Gerard sobbed and pounded the door before it sounded like he was sinking to the floor.

Frank still sat, frozen in shock before pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. When nothing changed, Frank scrambled over to the door, on his knees.

The sixteen-year-old almost fell at the jolt in his ankle and, hands shaking, unlocked the door. More scrambling was heard when the lock clicked, no doubt Gerard heard it.

Frank swallowed, taking a deep breath, and turned the doorknob. As soon as it floated open, Gerard shoved it the rest of the way and just caught sight of his friend before lunging into his arms.

Frank stumbled back on impact and winced, hugging a shaking Gerard back. The gun clattered to the floor while Frank leaned against him for support. "H-Hi Gee.." Frank choked and buried his face in his neck.

Gerard pulled back, and saw Frank's battered face, along with the bleeding cuts on his friend's arms. "Frankie, oh my God, I thought.. I thought I'd lost you," Gerard sniffled and cupped his cheek with a gentle hand Frank leaned into. "I-I saw the back door open, and, and the blood on the floor.. I thought-" and just like that, Frank pulled him back into something to fall against.

"It's okay, Gee. M'okay." Gerard didn't seem to be convinced in the least and shook his head.

He reached down to grab the loaded gun from off the floor, and threw it across the room with a loud thump that seemed to shake the foundation.

Gerard payed no mind to it and took Frank's hands in his own, gaping at the fresh cuts. "Fuck, Frankie.." Gerard whimpered, and made his friend look at him. "How long?"

Frank sighed brokenly, and winced. "Long time.. I just, the cuts made me feel better. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Gerard looked sullen and shook his head. "No, I shoulda been there, I'm sorry Frank," he apologized and looked down.

"Did you mean it?" Frank couldn't stop the words pouring out of his mouth, which was dumb because he really should know how by now.

"What?"

Frank bit his lip ring and shrugged, now he was the one looking down.

"Oh.. you mean.. oh. I- yes. I did, but I get it if you.. um.." Gerard trailed off and swallowed.

Frank froze once again and took hold of his shoulders. "Y-Yeah? Well.. I mean this too."

Frank leaned in and pressed his lips to Gerard's on some limb he'd kiss back. Gerard gasped, and pulled him closer.

Frank actually felt happiness in this deep pit and smiled before pulling back a minute later.

"I- Wow.." Gerard's eyes sparkled and kissed him again a second time. Frank giggled for the first time since the last he's seen his friend and leaned against his shoulder.

Gerard kissed Frank's tangled hair and took his head in his hands to look at him. "Please try and stop?" Gerard gestured to the clotting cuts on Frank's wrists. "If not for you, for me? I don't want you to hurt anymore, Frankie. I won't let you." Gerard squeezed his hands and kissed his nose.

Frank stifled a cry and nodded. "I, I'll try, but I can't promise anything, and I'll always need your help. With.. this."

Gerard nodded. "Of course, Frankie. My door's always unlocked, my phone's always on if you need me." Gerard kissed Frank with more passion this time, cupping his cheek.

They were both smiling when they separated, out of breath. Gerard took another glance down at the ugly cuts and swiped his thumb over them. The bleeding had stopped earlier, leaving dried blood and scabs where the blade cut his skin.

Frank was about to pull the ugly sight away before Gerard took his left arm up and began kissing every single dried cut on his wrist. Frank gasped at the soft gesture and shivered at how perfect and warm Gerard's lips were. All the way up to his forearm where they ended.

Gerard looked up at Frank, as if asking for permission before he squeezed his hand and began up the other arm. Frank found a small smile on his face and shivered at one of the sorer spots that was still inflamed. By the time he was finished, the length of Frank's arms felt all fuzzy and the cuts felt far better than the self hate ingrained into them.

"Things are gonna get better from here on, Frankie. Okay?" Gerard smoothed his thumbs over the palms of his hands, knocking him out of his thoughts.

Frank nodded and placed all the hope he had into Gerard's statement.

"Please," Frank whispered and rested his head on the nearest thing, which happened to be Gerard's shoulder. He was exhausted enough to fall asleep right there, but if he was, it would be anywhere far away from that disgusting place. The place Gerard saved him from.

He brought Frank into an embrace and nodded, kissing his grease ball of hair. "Let's go to my house. I'll fix up those cuts.. and anything else I see. That alright?"

Frank nodded, far less overjoyed than he felt, and shot his head up off Gerard's shoulder. "I need Pansy."

Frank heard Gerard chuckle a little and pulled back to look at his bruised and battered face. "She's still in my room, remember? And if you don't feel like you can, you can stay through visiting your Mom tomorrow," Gerard offered and Frank winced and shook his head at that word. It made his jaw ache.

"She's gone, Gee. No, No more visits. Can we just go home n-now?" Frank asked in a voice too wavering and light to be his own. Gerard looked ready to say something, but shut his mouth and nodded. "Of course."