FicWad

Sorry I didn't update for so long, but it took me friggen forever to decide who was at the damned door! I guess you wanna know, though, don'tcha? Well, if so, I guess I'll shut up and let you read, huh? Kk, on with chapter......whatever!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It belongs to J. K. Rowling, Warner Bros., and a number of other people who aren't me.

X

Severus Snape was having an odd sort of week. Firstly his best friend and lover Lucius Malfoy had managed to get a job teaching at Hogwarts. Needless to say, not a thing you would expect him to do. Sure, he had that position on the Hogwarts Board of Governors, but he didn't actually have to do anything. Had anyone told him a month ago, even, that Luc would be taking over for Flitwick in Charms, he would have carted them off to St. Mungo's himself.

If this bit of news wasn't startling enough, he had to find out not a day later that The Potter Brat and Stray were not receiving their Hogwarts letters. No one was sure why, and after a few days failed attempts, it was decided that they would have to send somebody. Hagrid was the first choice, seeing as he wanted to visit Harry so, but he had recently had a bad run-in with a ghoul in the Forbidden Forest, and wouldn't be up to the task for about another week. Minerva was next in line but she had already made plans to visit her granddaughter and her new baby, which she had yet to see since the labor.

This, of course, left Lucius and Severus. Albus had quite a time trying to choose between them apparently. Severus was a bit less uppity then Lucius, but he was not the nicest of guys. Lucius had experience with children (they didn't count Severus' potions class. He scared them in there, nothing more really), and could be gracious when he felt like it, but then again the 'gracious mood' didn't strike him often. Also, he hadn't been a regular visitor to Hogwarts (at least beyond the dungeons) in many years, and wouldn't know as much as Severus.

The headmaster eventually brought it up to them face to face, asking them who they felt would be the best choice to go. The two men didn't even have to think about it before answering. They would go together, of course. Severus would be the wisdom, Lucius would be the words. They'd take the children to Diagon Alley, where they would meet up with Draco, and the 5 of them would get the school shopping done all at once. Afterwards, they'd give Narcissa a full blow-by-blow of the encounter, and that would be that. Simple as pie.

Of course, things rarely went that smoothly for Severus, but a man could hope, couldn't he?

X

Severus watched indifferently as Lucius ransacked his own wardrobe. He was actually inside the large, semi-portable, dimension-defying closet, tossing out robe after suit after god-knows-what-else! The slightly bemused Potions Master stepped to the side, narrowly avoiding being struck in the face with a bath robe. "Lucius...." he said in a low, warning tone. Which, as he had half-expected, was completely ignored.

"Nope! No! No! Nonono....." came his lovers semi-sing-song voice. "That's too drab, that is for a dance, I do not the pleats in those pants...."

"Let me make this easier on you." drawled Severus, watching the discarded items of clothing re-fold and un-wrinkle themselves. "We are going to a Muggle neighborhood and then to Diagon Alley. Dress as such. Wear a blue robe and transfigure it into a suit while we're at the Durselys. Fair enough?"

"Oh very well!" huffed Lucius, stepping out with a sapphire colored robe adorned with silver trimmings and the like. He put it on quickly, fully aware of Severus' gaze, before quickly transfiguring it into a suit. It still had the silver around the edges, but it was much more Muggle looking. "How is that?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "It's fine." he said, standing up. He quickly changed his robe into a black dress shirt and slacks, glaring at Lucius. "Can we go now?"

Lucius raised an eyebrow, before holding out a Hair Tie. Snarling slightly, Severus snatched it, tying his shoulder-length hair back, before striding angrily to the door. "Lucius!" he snapped when he saw the blonde man checking himself over in the full-length mirror.

Lucius chuckled. "Fine, fine. I'll stop teasing you." he said walking past him and into the hall, before turning to the darker man with a look of annoyance. "Severus? Are you coming or not?"

X

About five minutes later, a ticked off brunette and a very smug blonde strode purposefully down Privet Drive. Severus couldn't suppress the sneer that spread over his face at the identical houses, and their useless gardens, but then again he'd never tried to suppress it before. Why start now?

Lucius gave a courteous wave to a pair of playing girls that were roughly 5 years old. They giggled to one another, waving back vigorously. Lucius chuckled slightly and turned to Severus, who was obviously not having as good time. "Really Severus!" he admonished lightly. "At least pretend that you're enjoying yourself. You'll make the Muggles nervous."

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "No amount of acting in the world, Lucius. I have seen 3 different women looking at us through their curtains, no doubt trying to stick their noses into our business. Above all else, I hate know-it-alls and nosy people. It is difficult enough being in such an unmistakably Muggle neighborhood without adding in intrusively inquisitive neighbors."

Lucius sighed long-suffering, as if dealing with Severus was one of the most tiring jobs in the world, never mind the fact that it likely was. "Severus...." he started. "Would it kill you to be a tad less snarky? We are out to see a pair of children- -"

"On my holiday no less!"

"- -who will not take well to having their first impressing of our world in the form of a snarky old git."

Severus looked at Lucius as if he'd grown another head, or even more unlikely, went out in public without combing his hair. "Old Git?" he echoed in stunned disbelief. "I'm 32 for Merlin's sake! I'm four months younger than you!"

Lucius waved it off with a dismissive gesture of his hand. "Yes, yes, but you act old. I, on the other hand, have a youthful spirit."

Severus stared at Lucius, blinking profusely, but Lucius didn't notice, or else pretended not to. Before the raven haired man could even begin to come up with a suitable reply, they were walking up the steps to number four.

"Now remember, Severus, these are Muggles. Stray and Harry shall be little more than Muggleborns. Play nice, alright?"

Severus made a neutral noise in the back of his throat, before the blonde raised his cane, giving it the door before him three sharp taps.

X

UBER IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!!!!

Kk, I figured the surest way to have you all read this was to put it in the middle of the chapter, instead of the beginning or end. This is MONDO IMPORTANT!!!

I'll have Harry and Stray in Hogwarts soon, and I can't figure out where to place them. Harry'll probably stay a Gryffindor, but Stray is still a mystery to me. One friend says he'd make an adorable Hufflepuff, my boyfriend insists that Slytherin is the way to go.

I'm relying on you!! Even if it's only one word, gimme a review of which house the young Succubus should go!! I'd prefer it if you gave a reason too, but even if you just say 'Hufflepuff' or ''Slytherin', I'd really appreciate it!! It'll be a fair way to keep people from yelling at me! This is up on 3 sites, so it'll be as fair as possible, okay?

DO NOT SAY GRYFFINDOR!! I KNOW HE'D MAKE AN ADORABLE LITTLE LION, BUT IT MESSESS WITH MY STORY LINE, OKAY??!! SUMIMASEN!!

X

It couldn't be certain what Severus and Lucius expected when they agreed to pick the children up from their homes, but it could be said that, without a doubt, their expectations were shattered and thrown to the winds.

Below them stood a pair of black haired children, one with emerald eyes, one with mercury, both nervously excited, but that is where their expectations ended.

Both were quite thin and short for their age. The taller of the two, obviously Harry, had hair that seemed to be trying to escape from his head by any route possible. His skin had a medium tan, and there were pink spots of sunburn on each cheek. He wore scratched round glasses with tape on the bridge, and his lower lip had the unmistakable mark of someone who chewed on them whenever they were nervous.(a/n: I did that a lot when I was little. I've heard that some people think it's cute, but the little marks got on my nerves -_-; ). His shirt was a faded grey and hung off of one shoulder, and could probably have fit either man easily. His jeans were large and torn at the bottoms, and his toe was sticking out of his right sock.

The smaller, apparently Stray, was practically his polar opposite. His hair was a tad tussled from running to the door, but wavy, and reached his waist, curling gently at the bottom. His skin was lily-white, as if he'd never seen the sun. His eyes had long, feminine lashes and he had perfectly straight, thin white scars running down his cheeks and under his chin, as if he were crying. His clothes were well-worn, a faded pink shirt with loose jeans with flowery patches that reached to his ankles. His long-fingered hands were wrapped tightly around his brother's elbow, as if to ground him.

Lucius cleared his throat, realizing that they were staring. "Harry Potter and Stray Evans, I presume?" he said, smiling gently at them.

Harry nodded. "Err, yes. I'm Harry... Err, come in, please." he said, stepping back, Stray right beside him, eyes never leaving the two men.

Lucius and Severus stepped inside, looking around in either feigned interest or obvious contempt, depending on who you were referring to. Harry led them to the sitting room, where there sat a rather obese man and horse-like thin woman. The woman glowered at them, her stiff posture and set jaw obvious indications of her anger. The man's face was shifting from red to white in rapid concession, but he was making rather weak attempts at smiling.

Lucius, ever the aristocrat, gave him a smug/gracious smirk/smile. (yes, he is capable of mixing all of those together O.o) "Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Dursely." he said, holding out his hands in an 'I'm harmless' gesture. "I am Lucius Malfoy, and this is my associate Severus Snape. We are here to bring young Harry and Stray to Diagon Alley for their school supplies and such. Give them a little introduction to the Wizarding World if you will."

"We know why you're here!" the walrus wanna-be grunted, beady eyes scrutinizing their appearance, obviously begging for faults to point out.

Severus glared at him through pitch black eyes. "Good. Then that saves us the trouble of explaining ourselves further." he said, his voice laced with the vilest of poisons. He looked pointedly at Harry and Stray. "Put on your shoes. We're leaving now."

"Yessir." the twins said together, hurrying into the hall and to the closet near the door. Severus watched them for a moment, before turning his icy stare back to the adults.

There was a very tense silence, in which the only people in the room that weren't fidgeting were the two wizards. "This school..." growled the man finally, glaring up at them.(He hadn't even bothered to stand for them, feeling that they didn't deserve the respect that that action signified.) "It'll keep them for the whole year?"

Lucius nodded. "If you want. But there are a few holidays that you can have them home on."

The room went quiet again, until the two children came back, Harry in dirty, stained trainers and Stray in a worn pair of flip-flops. "We're ready." Harry said, his elbow once more in Stray's grip.

The wizards nodded and started to the door. Lucius was about to open it, when he froze, looking back at the Muggles who had come to the edge of the living room, presumably to make sure they actually left and didn't go sneaking about their home. "Mr. and Mrs. Dursely." he said. "Surely you wish to say good-bye to your nephews?"

Petunia got a look on her face, as if she were torn between fury and fright. She turned jerkily to the boys, before lowering herself to her knee and holding out her arms. Harry and Stray just kind of stared at her.

"Well?" said their uncle gruffly. "Give your aunt a hug, boys. And don't try any of that 'I'm too old' crap."

Harry stepped foreword first, tugging Stray along behind. Once they were both within reach, she grabbed them and held them tight, the picture of a mother fearing her children leaving the proverbial nest, when in reality she was pressing purposely against their bruised stomachs.

Vernon gave the wizards a wry look. "She mothers them like you wouldn't believe." he said, looking rather annoyed. "I told her not to embarrass them, but.... Well, she didn't listen." he shook his head in exasperation.

Lucius smiled back understandingly. "Sounds like my wife, Narcissa. When he was younger I was always waiting for the day I'd come home to see that our Draco had become permanently attached to the hem of her dress."

Vernon gave him a strained look, turning back as the two boys stepped away from their aunt. "Be good." she said sternly, before making shooing gestures, which the boys quickly took. The four wizards and wizards-in-training stepped through the door and started down the street.

Harry blinked. "Hey, um, did you guys drive here, or...."

"No." Severus snapped. He wasn't trying to be rude, it just came naturally to him during stressful situations. He was torn on how to react to the boys between he and Lucius. Harry was Potter's son, and his spitting image. Potter had tortured him as a child and made him miserable, and had gone as far as to abandon his own child, the boy that was holding Potter's clone by the arm in a death grip. The boy appeared gentle and generally a good child, despite being half-filled with Potter blood. He wasn't pushing away his sibling to try and appear more macho or mature to them, as most every siblings (minus a few, namely the Weasley twins) seemed to feel the need to do.

Stray was an anomaly himself. As the son of an Incubus, he should be taller, stronger, braver, and all-around more evil-seductive-vampire-y than children his age. Or most ages, really. But instead he was small, frail, feminine and appeared shy. Could Lily and Potter have been wrong, and Stray not been the son of the Incubus? No, that wasn't possible. But perhaps the Incubus had been.... Some sort of Veela? No, his hair was too dark. Maybe the first ever dark-haired Veela.

Severus groaned, rubbing his nose. He looked to Lucius who, behind his cheerful face, was obviously working his mind over the strangeness of the encounter himself.

"Umm..... Mi-....Lucius?" asked Stray in a tiny, timid voice.

"Yes Stray?" said Lucius warmly.

"Where... Where exactly are we going?"
'
"To London to get your supplies. Diagon Alley specifically."

"What type of supplies?" asked Harry.

"Just the things you'll need for Hogwarts when it starts up in September." Lucius reached into a pocket, pulling out his wand along with two letters. The boys took them from his hand, looking for confirmation that they could read them, before quickly doing so.

"Owls?" said Harry, looking up at Lucius, who had proved to be the nicer of the adults. "What do they mean by that?"

"Well... Have you ever heard of Carrier Pigeons?" They both nodded. "Well, it's the same basic principal, only owls are much more intelligent and they can find people that have moved, or they haven't ever visited before."

"Wow." said Stray. "Why don't you ever hear about that sort of thing from not-magic people?"

"Muggles don't notice anything." sneered Snape.

"But some people devote their lives to learning about that sort of thing." said Harry. "I don't think someone who spent their entire lives around birds would just overlook something odd about them. Scientists always wanna know everything about everything."

Severus glared a little, as if in disbelief that he would dare to question him. "Muggles are foolish, and weak-minded."

Harry gave him a slight glare out of the corner of his eye, leaning into Stray's ear, whispering in a tone that was just loud enough for Severus to hear. "Sounds a bit racist to me."

"Harry!" Stray hissed.

Lucius kept a straight face, wary of the dark aura the potion's master was probably radiating. This day would go down in history as The Day An Eleven Year Old Boy With No Magical Upbringing Beat Severus Snape In An Argument. Of course, they'd probably need to think up a shorter name, but whatever.

The little group turned into an alleyway, where Severus started to rummage around in his pocket. Stray and Harry stared in astonishment as his arm went nearly elbow-deep into the suit jacket. Their well trained ears easily picked up some confusing noises, what sounded like full wineglasses that were for some reason covered.

As they listened to the strange tinkling of glass, everyone steadfastly tuning out the long stream of curses, Stray suddenly raised his eyebrows, as if something had just occurred to him. "Mr. Snape sir?" he piped, turning his huge silvery eyes to the aforementioned man. Snape grunted to show he was listening, while Lucius shook his head at his companions horrible manners. "Um, by any chance, are you a chemist?"

Lucius blinked, and Severus left the blonde to answer, as he had just gotten the bright idea to add his other hand to the expanding pocket. "As a matter of fact, he is. A potion's master, to be exact." Stray looked over to Harry who was nodding in an 'oh yeah, of course!' sort of way. "How was it you knew, by the way?"

Both boys suddenly started to get shifty eyed and nervous. "Well...."

"Speak your mind, boys. Severus isn't paying attention to us anyways."

They sent the bat-like man (who had by this point cursed whatever he was looking for into the third region of hell, as well as taken a few underhanded strikes at the thing's mother) quick looks from the corners of their eyes. Seeming to decide that he was properly distracted, they both leaned in close, putting their right hands on the side of their mouths so that their lips weren't to be easily read.

Lucius struggled not to smile at their child-like antics, before leaning in close as well.

""Well..."" they whispered as one, in low conspiratorial voices, sending Severus glances every second or so. ""You see how his hair is kinda.... Not so clean looking?""

"Yes, it is rather hard to miss."

""Well, it's real easy to see you guys got clean right before you came, you still have that 'out of the shower' aura. But somehow his hair's still greasy looking.""

Stray held up the forefinger of his right hand. "And the most common way to have Forever Greasy Hair- -"

Harry mimicked the motion with his left. "--Is to work over top of chemicals."

Lucius was very surprised. Most kids weren't all that perceptive, especially 11 year old boys. "You figured that out all by his hair?"

""Well......."" the said, scratching the backs of their necks. ""The clinking glasses helped a lot."'

"Ha!" muttered Severus. They all turned to see Severus smirking down at a Licorice Wand, looking like the cat that ate the canary.

"Find it?" asked Lucius cheerfully, ignoring the peeved look Severus sent his way.

"Shut your overly loose jaw, Lucius." he growled, turning a rather dangerous smile the boys' way. "Grab on."

The boys didn't question it, and simply closed their thin fingers over small portions, me following. It was reassuring to know that Muggles did teach their offspring not to disobey direct orders. Perhaps teaching the whole lot of children come September wouldn't be quite so horrible after all.

Severus muttered something under his breath, before there was a sharp pull behind the four wizards' navels. There was a sharp gasp from one of the boys, before there were thrown into a whirling vortex.

X

When their feet finally hit the ground, one of the brothers (even they weren't sure who) knocked into the other, and they both ended up as a pile of limbs on the floor. Severus and Lucius blinked down at them as they transfigured their suits into robes.

"Are you two okay?" asked Lucius, giving them a bemused smile.

Harry, who had ended up on top, sat up, laughing weakly. "Err, what was that thing?"

"A Portkey. It transports you to different places."

"Oh... where'd it transport us to?"

"The Leaky Cauldron."

Harry looked around, emerald eyes sharp as he scanned the people that were sitting or standing or talking around the dark and dingy bar. "Okay......" he murmured, before his eyes alighted on their escorts' 'new' outfits. He blinked, before giving Stray (who was still lying face up on the floor, Harry atop him {their 11 and have no real contact with the outside world. They don't even notice that this'll look really odd when their older})a smug smile. Stray rolled his eyes, reaching into s pocket and pulling out a smooth, shiny black rock, placing it in his brother's palm.

Before either man could question their actions (and before Snape could bark at them to separate like the good little teacher he was) there was a cry from behind them. "Father!!"

What looked like a white and green blur flew across the room, attaching itself to Lucius' arm. "Father, can we please go!? Some horrid girl keeps morphing her face to look like mine when I'm not looking and making it do weird things, like put on make-up and make weird faces! And there was a man in a turban that smelled like garlic that was here before but left and it was awful Father! He kept talking about a Veela he knew that could be my sister and vampires that had my eyes and all sorts of things! Let's go! Please!?"

To anyone else in the world this would have sounded like two or three words, every once in a while separated by 'Father!' but to boys that had grown up in the same house as Dudley Dursely, the whole thing just sounded like the most believable tall-tale they'd heard yet. (a/n: Dudley's friggen retarded).

"If she did it while you weren't looking, how do you know what she did?" asked Stray, looking up at the blonde carelessly. Now that he had stopped jumping around, Stray and Harry had a fairly decent view of him. Despite his momentary frantic, for it was obviously something that didn't happen often, the boy had the sharp look of an aristocrat, and was obviously a close relative of Lucius. He was almost as pale as Stray, but with slicked-back hair of nearly the same color, and very light blue eyes. He wore a smart looking outfit consisting of a green silk dress shirt and expensive-looking black pants of an unknown material.

The boy took a deep breathe to steady himself. "In the bar, tom had just cleaned of the glasses. She was reflecting in them." he raised a nearly invisible eyebrow, looking the two over. "Um, aren't you two kids a but young for voyeurism?"

Lucius gave the boy a flick on the back of his ear, which cause the natural reaction of an enormous recoil. "Draco, be nice." he said sternly, before looking down at the twins, who had managed to get themselves standing in the few seconds it had took him to warn Draco's occasionally bad disposition away. He saw that Harry was an inch or so smaller than Draco, but Stray's eyes were level with the blonde's mouth. He had a feeling that gap would get much wider over the next handful of years. "Draco, this is Stray Evans and Harry Potter. They will be joining us to shop for school supplies."

Draco cast a critical eye over the two, but bowed his head politely. "Harry Potter? As in The Harry Potter? You're a tad smaller than I thought you'd be."

Harry looked at Stray, who shrugged. "I dunno. I'm the first I've ever met. But if I am the one you're talking about, sorry for disappointing you."

Stray held up his hand slightly. "Um, Draco? Before, were you calling Lucius 'Father'?"

"Yes. He is my father. I'm Draco Malfoy."

A smirk threatened to spread across Stray's scarred face, but was quickly wiped clean. He gave Harry a pointed look, and the taller boy huffed and rolled his eyes, but quickly gave him back the rock.

The young blonde blinked. "What was all that just then?"

"Oh, nothing Draco. Don't worry about it." Stray said easily, letting the rock plop once more into his pocket.

Draco looked like he was about to press on, but Lucius broke in first. "Shall we be going. Severus?"

The dower man grunted noncommittally, but they all walked into the alleyway behind the tavern. The two Muggle Raised boys looked around boredly, before pointing out the alley's lack of an exit. Lucius waved off their words, placing the tip of his wand thrice against the correct brick.

The wall slid and shook showily, slowly giving up the view of the bustling street hidden behind it. Stray and Harry stared at the abnormality of it all, restraining the urge to laugh giddily.

Lucius smiled, holding out his arm towards the cobbled road. "Welcome, children, to Diagon Alley."

X

Sorry it took long, like I said. I ran outta ideas for this chapter, and I couldn't just skip it.

In case you skipped the big one, I need help figuring out Stray's house. (It can't be Gryffindor). I'd appreciate if you'd give me your reasoning behind the choice as well, but a single world'll do as well.

Review, okay?