Categories > Original > Humor > My Crazy, Funny Uncle
Just then, there was a knock at the door. My dad walked over to anger it and it was none other then my older sister Carly. I was really excited to see her, but she was much more excited to see me.
After she said Hello to my dad, she dropped her purse and rushed over to the couch, to cuddle me tightly. "Oh, Brandon! How have you been little bro. Oh, you've gotten so handsome." She hugged me tighter.
I hugged back, but kept thinking as much as I loved my sister I felt at times she loved me a bit too much.
Just then, there was another knock at the door and me and my dad had a feeling who it was gonna be. My dad opened the door up and in came my crazy, Funny Uncle, stumbling in the house, tripping over like he was dancing. "Dam... I I got a bone to pick with you, man? All you have to do is write my song. It's really simple man, you don't gotta flip out at me."
My dad the then walked my uncle Randy over the head, then he dropped his cooler and fell over on the floor. "Damn it, Randy!" My dad shouted in anger and he then screamed to my mom, "he's doing it again! He's tearing up my home!"
My crazy uncle then stood up and pulled his fist out and said, "We'll meet up downtown after Christmas and I'll handle you like a real man."
My dad then just looked at my uncle and shook his head and said, "Look, you drunk bum. I'm not writing your song, when it can give you the opportunity to actually make something of yourself."
"What are you trying to say, Dammy boy. I'm a hard worker unlike bums around here. Hell, people call me the king and your kids like me."
"No we don't, you lousy drunk hole." Kat said as she started smoking a cigarette.
"They call you the king of the drunks, you stumbling bum. I'm not writing your song. Now set that cooler down and go sit your drunk ass at the table so we can get you out of here."
My Uncle Randy then dropped his cooler and took a bottle of beer out and stumbled his way into the kitchen for Christmas dinner. He then turned his head to my dad and said, "You got some lousy hospitality, man!"
My dad was so irritated with my crazy uncle that he kicked over his cooler, making a big mess as beer bottles rolled out, but none of them broke. My mother then screamed at my dad for being so immature and she told him and my uncle to both act like adults.
The time had soon come. It was Christmas dinner and I was sitting beside my sister Carly and my sister Kat. My dad and uncle were sitting aside from each other, as they were scarfing down the turkey and ham, trying to stay away from each other's throats.
My Uncle then was pouring some beer over the food and that got my dad pissed to the extreme. He then took my uncle's beer bottle and poured it inside his shirt. He then yanked him out of the chair by his trousers and started kicking him in the ass, while chugging beer into my uncle's mouth. My Uncle then punched my dad off him and said, "You want war, Dammy boy, you got war!"
My mother was so embarrassed she passed out and my two sisters both facepalmed. "C'mon, you think you're Rocky? Let's what you're made of."
My dad then put down his fist and he and my uncle then started laughing. I was surprised, after all that had happened it was good to see my dad and my uncle getting along again.
A few hours had passed after dinner and I was upstairs lying in my bed, thinking of what a great Christmas I had and I heard my uncle and my dad still talking. I began to think and wonder what they had been talking about for so long. I opened my bedroom door and walked downstairs and was surprised when I saw my dad and uncle with paper and they were talking about songs and making it into the big time.
"Dad, Uncle Randy, what's going on?" I asked as I stepped down.
My Uncle then said, "Brandon, sup, man? Me and your dad are making it big. We're gonna be rock stars."
My Uncle then stood up and started dancing, and singing,
Shout, shout, shout it up
The brooski is comin' your way,
And the devil's here to say
Shout, shout, shout it hard
Rock my blood, cause you drink so hard!
My dad then stood up and gave my uncle a kick in the behind and said to me, while laughing, "Your uncle's had a bit too much to drink."
My dad then told me that he and my uncle were working to become a famous rock duo and it would be a great deal for my uncle to finally make money.
He and my uncle Randy were then sitting on the the sofa and my dad was brainstorming song ideas and said to my uncle Randy, "This is it. You're a bum, man, stick with me and I can move you up in life. I can't have the whole town thinking you're the king of drunks anymore. I got a family to think about you're making yourself into an embarrassment of the whole neighborhood."
My Uncle then punched my dad in the shoulder and then began to sing,
Hey, man, shut your mouth,
Drinking is my life and it's what it's all about
Hell with the ladies I need some logger
I'm playing my drums, and I leave my own path
My dad then continued the song,
Don't take the path or you'll screw us all,
Just follow my way, and you can't go wrong,
That's how you sing this drugged up song,
I've been through struggles in my,
As my family and women treated my like a sack of shit,
But now I'm making it big,
And I'm rocken' in flames!
Let's rock it!
Rock it like Rocky in the ring!
Let's rock it!
Don't tell me to choose my path or you'll drive insane!
My dad and uncle then started shouting and quickly writing down the lyrics for their new song.. "This is the big moment. In the next week or two, We'll record the song take it to the record company, now we just got to think about what to call are band."
My Uncle Randy then took a big gulp from the beer bottle and said, "Drunkfist, man. Drunkfist is the way to go."
My dad and uncle then smiled at each other nodded.
I then walked upstairs to get some sleep and I then heard my mother downstairs scolding my dad and uncle about all the noise they were making as they were having a huge fight about who own the copyright to their new song. Their discussion of becoming a famous rock duo continued until morning.
About two weeks later as I was coming home from school, I heard music coming from my house and I wanlked and saw my dad and uncle Randy were rehearsing their song and recording the demo version. My dad was playing the guitar and my uncle was on the drums.
"Hey, what's up, Brandon?" My dad said to and he then continued, "You're mother and sister aren't too happy with the racket we've been making so they haven't been home allot lately."
They just don't have the power of rock in their blood, man." My Uncle Randy said, as he then passed out on the floor.
"Dumbass." My dad muttered under his breath. He then said, to me with a smile. "Hey, man, we can go to the big game center when you're done done with your homework today. I need some time away from your uncle."
I was excited and walked upstairs to get my homework done a.d I heard my dad downstairs having an interesting conversation with my uncle. "Randy, you gotta to sober up, man. You can't be stumbling while we're performing."
"But drinking has been, my life, Dam. I can't live without my brooski." My Uncle Randy then said in a serious tone.
"Well, you've got a real life now. Just think, what you rather have? Being a drinking bum for the rest of your life, or being a famous rock star?"
My Uncle then thought seriously about what my dad told him and I couldn't believe my uncle could finally turn over a new leaf.
Just then, there was a knock at the door. My dad walked over to anger it and it was none other then my older sister Carly. I was really excited to see her, but she was much more excited to see me.
After she said Hello to my dad, she dropped her purse and rushed over to the couch, to cuddle me tightly. "Oh, Brandon! How have you been little bro. Oh, you've gotten so handsome." She hugged me tighter.
I hugged back, but kept thinking as much as I loved my sister I felt at times she loved me a bit too much.
Just then, there was another knock at the door and me and my dad had a feeling who it was gonna be. My dad opened the door up and in came my crazy, Funny Uncle, stumbling in the house, tripping over like he was dancing. "Dam... I I got a bone to pick with you, man? All you have to do is write my song. It's really simple man, you don't gotta flip out at me."
My dad the then walked my uncle Randy over the head, then he dropped his cooler and fell over on the floor. "Damn it, Randy!" My dad shouted in anger and he then screamed to my mom, "he's doing it again! He's tearing up my home!"
My crazy uncle then stood up and pulled his fist out and said, "We'll meet up downtown after Christmas and I'll handle you like a real man."
My dad then just looked at my uncle and shook his head and said, "Look, you drunk bum. I'm not writing your song, when it can give you the opportunity to actually make something of yourself."
"What are you trying to say, Dammy boy. I'm a hard worker unlike bums around here. Hell, people call me the king and your kids like me."
"No we don't, you lousy drunk hole." Kat said as she started smoking a cigarette.
"They call you the king of the drunks, you stumbling bum. I'm not writing your song. Now set that cooler down and go sit your drunk ass at the table so we can get you out of here."
My Uncle Randy then dropped his cooler and took a bottle of beer out and stumbled his way into the kitchen for Christmas dinner. He then turned his head to my dad and said, "You got some lousy hospitality, man!"
My dad was so irritated with my crazy uncle that he kicked over his cooler, making a big mess as beer bottles rolled out, but none of them broke. My mother then screamed at my dad for being so immature and she told him and my uncle to both act like adults.
The time had soon come. It was Christmas dinner and I was sitting beside my sister Carly and my sister Kat. My dad and uncle were sitting aside from each other, as they were scarfing down the turkey and ham, trying to stay away from each other's throats.
My Uncle then was pouring some beer over the food and that got my dad pissed to the extreme. He then took my uncle's beer bottle and poured it inside his shirt. He then yanked him out of the chair by his trousers and started kicking him in the ass, while chugging beer into my uncle's mouth. My Uncle then punched my dad off him and said, "You want war, Dammy boy, you got war!"
My mother was so embarrassed she passed out and my two sisters both facepalmed. "C'mon, you think you're Rocky? Let's what you're made of."
My dad then put down his fist and he and my uncle then started laughing. I was surprised, after all that had happened it was good to see my dad and my uncle getting along again.
A few hours had passed after dinner and I was upstairs lying in my bed, thinking of what a great Christmas I had and I heard my uncle and my dad still talking. I began to think and wonder what they had been talking about for so long. I opened my bedroom door and walked downstairs and was surprised when I saw my dad and uncle with paper and they were talking about songs and making it into the big time.
"Dad, Uncle Randy, what's going on?" I asked as I stepped down.
My Uncle then said, "Brandon, sup, man? Me and your dad are making it big. We're gonna be rock stars."
My Uncle then stood up and started dancing, and singing,
Shout, shout, shout it up
The brooski is comin' your way,
And the devil's here to say
Shout, shout, shout it hard
Rock my blood, cause you drink so hard!
My dad then stood up and gave my uncle a kick in the behind and said to me, while laughing, "Your uncle's had a bit too much to drink."
My dad then told me that he and my uncle were working to become a famous rock duo and it would be a great deal for my uncle to finally make money.
He and my uncle Randy were then sitting on the the sofa and my dad was brainstorming song ideas and said to my uncle Randy, "This is it. You're a bum, man, stick with me and I can move you up in life. I can't have the whole town thinking you're the king of drunks anymore. I got a family to think about you're making yourself into an embarrassment of the whole neighborhood."
My Uncle then punched my dad in the shoulder and then began to sing,
Hey, man, shut your mouth,
Drinking is my life and it's what it's all about
Hell with the ladies I need some logger
I'm playing my drums, and I leave my own path
My dad then continued the song,
Don't take the path or you'll screw us all,
Just follow my way, and you can't go wrong,
That's how you sing this drugged up song,
I've been through struggles in my,
As my family and women treated my like a sack of shit,
But now I'm making it big,
And I'm rocken' in flames!
Let's rock it!
Rock it like Rocky in the ring!
Let's rock it!
Don't tell me to choose my path or you'll drive insane!
My dad and uncle then started shouting and quickly writing down the lyrics for their new song.. "This is the big moment. In the next week or two, We'll record the song take it to the record company, now we just got to think about what to call are band."
My Uncle Randy then took a big gulp from the beer bottle and said, "Drunkfist, man. Drunkfist is the way to go."
My dad and uncle then smiled at each other nodded.
I then walked upstairs to get some sleep and I then heard my mother downstairs scolding my dad and uncle about all the noise they were making as they were having a huge fight about who own the copyright to their new song. Their discussion of becoming a famous rock duo continued until morning.
About two weeks later as I was coming home from school, I heard music coming from my house and I wanlked and saw my dad and uncle Randy were rehearsing their song and recording the demo version. My dad was playing the guitar and my uncle was on the drums.
"Hey, what's up, Brandon?" My dad said to and he then continued, "You're mother and sister aren't too happy with the racket we've been making so they haven't been home allot lately."
They just don't have the power of rock in their blood, man." My Uncle Randy said, as he then passed out on the floor.
"Dumbass." My dad muttered under his breath. He then said, to me with a smile. "Hey, man, we can go to the big game center when you're done done with your homework today. I need some time away from your uncle."
I was excited and walked upstairs to get my homework done a.d I heard my dad downstairs having an interesting conversation with my uncle. "Randy, you gotta to sober up, man. You can't be stumbling while we're performing."
"But drinking has been, my life, Dam. I can't live without my brooski." My Uncle Randy then said in a serious tone.
"Well, you've got a real life now. Just think, what you rather have? Being a drinking bum for the rest of your life, or being a famous rock star?"
My Uncle then thought seriously about what my dad told him and I couldn't believe my uncle could finally turn over a new leaf.
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