FicWad

1850, two weeks past

It was a gloomy morning Eren arose to, which, considering the time of year, was not unprecedented. All the more convenient for their cause, or so Commander Hange had told him and her small squadron—all ten of them—on the cart ride. It took half an hour to reach the field in question, and by then the rain was coming down with a vengeance, leaving the party sodden and freezing in the cold dawn air. Mist was rising off the earth as they dismounted their horses and unloaded the tiny carriage, accentuating the already gloomy atmosphere of the surrounding plane.

The commander had been cheerful that morning, perhaps more than usual, even if the rest of her party had not. Eren, however, understood her good mood. The weather could not have been more perfect for concealing the residue of a Titan transformation. The ash and blood would be washed away by the rain, the lightning dismissed, most probably, as stray lightning.

The small group split up into pairs, lanterns and blades distributed among them, while Eren put a safe distance between himself and the rest of the squadron. At Hange's signal, he brought his hand to his mouth and called upon the beast. Within moments he stood, towering above the trees, nestled in the shell of his Titan. At his feet he could see little figures but could not discern them individually, just the flashing of their lanterns. He felt the cable pierce his Titan's leg, and then the sweep of one of the figures up to land on his shoulder.

"You all right, Eren?" Commander Hange yelled. Eren nodded. He knew what to do. "Good! Krieg, Richard, go for it!"

Krieg—or Richard, it was impossible to tell from here—launched towards him, blades drawn. Eren had only seconds to react. (The two boys, he recalled, were from a large group of newcomers who had been drafted into the Scouts, but was unsure from where. He wondered what they thought of being dragged out in the rain with their crazy commander, perhaps for their first mission. He smiled to himself; if it had been him confronted with a fifteen-metre Titan, fresh from Trost or the 57th Expedition, he'd probably have lost his mind right then and there.) He dug his heels into the earth, concentrated on the wound spreading up his leg. He did not have words to describe how the process worked, knew only that one moment the blade was cleaving flesh, the next, the weapon was embedded in his Titan's skin, now crystal. Someone whooped, most likely the commander, and Eren felt the little figure now attempting to pull his blade free.

"Excellent work, Richard! Come back down! Second group, he's all yours!"

And roughly half of the group came for him, leaving little nicks along his arms and legs in their wake. It was like battling a small army of well-organised gnats. Between this and the rain's interference, Eren suffered his fair share of injury before impeding the assault in much the similar manner he had employed before, and the crystal melded like candlewax to halt their weapons.

Commander Hange kept the process going for roughly half an hour, then called for a break because the rain was picking up again and visibility was greatly compromised. And Eren knelt down to the ground and exited the crumbling shell, and his first real sensation was the pelting water on his skin. A small crowd of soldiers clambered up to help him; all seemed anxious to draw near, and he could not blame them for it.

"Do you need help?" asked one of the pluckier boys, but Eren waved him away good-naturedly, the best he could with the bloody tendons still clinging to him.

"No, thanks. I got it." He pulled his arm free, skin raw but healing. The water stung but it was also a relief. Once he got both arms loose the rest was easy. He hauled himself up and out to pivot around, escorted down to earth by his fellows where he stepped away and let the rain wash over him. He was missing a boot and his gear had been absorbed but he hardly noticed. Yes, Eren was in high spirits; not only had this been an opportunity to make himself useful, but it also gave him a rare excuse to talk with Annie. She had finished her practice a while earlier, and now he approached the cart, still trailing steam, to find her sitting there.

"How are you?" was his first query.

"Adjusting," she replied. Her shirt clung to her frame, stained with blood and drenched in water. It looked uncomfortable. He sat a ways apart from her, more than a little impressed at the extent of her resilience; she'd rolled up her sleeves to combat the humidity but he'd kept his down. She was clearly being put to work, but there was still a sharpness in her form that he lacked. "How about you?" she asked. "Heard you've been keeping busy out here."

"Dunno who told you that," Eren said, with a trace of bitterness. "I've scarcely stepped outside in days."

"That's probably for the best, you know."

"What?" said Eren incredulously. "Are you saying you'd prefer to be kept underground?"

Annie shrugged. "I'd enjoy my freedom, if it was me."

"I wouldn't call this freedom," Eren replied. "More of a chance to be of some use." He was repulsed with himself even as he spoke; he sounded pathetic at best.

"Depends on your point of view," Annie replied, but her tone was listless, and he was bothered by her weariness. When he could stand it no longer he looked sideways at her, spoke a little quieter.

"They aren't pushing you too hard, are they?"

She smiled at that. "You should worry about yourself for a change."

"What do you mean?"

She gestured to his face. He hadn't thought she would notice. Hastily, he clapped a hand over his face, turned away. And Annie did something strange. She turned towards him and took his hand away from his face, and he watched while the blood trickled from his nose, feeling unguarded. Her eyes held no clear emotion, but her hand moved, hovered above his face and Eren was struck by an outlandish notion that she was going to touch him, then thought better of it.

"How long have you been bleeding like this?" she asked.

"It happens sometimes," Eren protested lamely, brushed her away. "M'fine. You don't have to worry about it." He wasn't sure why he was being so stubborn with her. He couldn't explain it to himself, either, and that fact was bothering him. Perhaps it was something to do with seeing the Female Titan again; he didn't know if he was ready to associate her with the monster, despite everything he now knew. It was simply strange to see the Titan in the flesh, just as he remembered, an unwelcome echo in his memory. But she was obviously trying to help him, and here he was stewing in past grievances.

Annie sighed. "It'll stop bleeding if you pinch it."

"Huh?"

"Your nose."

Eren looked at her. Her expression was still unreadable, her face pronouncedly sallow in the light of the artificial light from the lantern, emphasising the little pink-grey lines across her face, giving her the appearance of something ghostly, unearthly. He looked away. "How do you do it?" he asked, if only to think of something else.

The sky rumbled threateningly.

"Do what?" she asked.

"Keep transforming like this, hour after hour."

This time Annie looked at him and he felt her gaze pierce him like a knife, leaving nothing to hide. "Focus," she answered. "It's just another body. There's not much else to it."

Eren wished he could understand, or at least appreciate the ease of which she spoke. It made him restless, annoyed with himself. He was being ridiculous. Annie was not Mikasa. There was nothing to prove to anyone, here. He was supposed to be learning something from all of this, but he wasn't. Frustrated, Eren remained silent and solemn until Annie made to stand up.

"You want a hand?" he asked, hoping he sounded a little less bitter than he felt.

"I'm fine," she dissuaded him. A pause, then, almost hesitantly, she added: "Thanks."

Eren's mood was not improved by running into Jean a few hours afterward in the courtyard. It was less a confrontation and more a determined evasion, but their eyes met and there was a familiar disgruntlement exchanged, but nothing more.

"Jaeger," said Jean flatly, as a way of acknowledgement.

They regarded one another; Eren was still missing a boot and soggy with the falling rain. His scars had not yet faded. Jean seemed to decide that whatever he had instigated wasn't worth pursuing, because he turned away, much to Eren's annoyance.

"What do you want?" Eren asked. "Come to gloat?"

"Hardly," Jean said.

"Fine. Get to the point."

"Mikasa," Jean said. "Armin, too."

"What about them?"

"She's leaving tomorrow for the expedition. She and Armin and…most of us, myself included." When he looked at Eren it was not straight-on, and his smile was more like a grimace. "You're lucky they like you enough to keep you under wraps."

Eren almost laughed—did Jean honestly believe that he would rather be trapped underground all day with a bunch of terrified recruits, kept under Hange's watchful eye when he could have been another normal soldier, working with the Scouts, see his friends? "You're wrong," he said, but the retort lacked its usual bite, and Jean was smiling in a manner that kept him uneasy.

"Am I, really?" asked Jean, with the agitated confidence of one who has everything to gain and everything to lose by making their argument known to the world. "Come on. You know what I mean."

"How is Mikasa, anyways?" Eren shot back. "Still ignoring you?"

Jean's haughtiness flickered. He glowered at him, but said nothing for a moment. "We'll be out of your hair by next morning. Thought you'd like to know."

Eren forgot to be irritated, taken aback by this act of candidacy. Jean only stormed away, looking sullen. Eren didn't know what to make of it. Surely Jean hadn't just given up? Failure had never stopped him in the past, so why should it begin to do so, now?

But Eren soon forgot about Jean in the face of seeing Armin and Mikasa. Lunch was starting; he ate in his cell and slept the rest of the day without bothering to undress, and woke up in early evening, damp from the rain and aching with hunger. By the time he got to the mess hall the place was emptying. He paid no heed; he hadn't come down here to eat, after all.

People took notice of him as he walked by and Eren wondered if he'd ever get used to the feeling of being someone's spectacle. It wasn't far-fetched; he had since dried off, but his scars were slow to heal and his clothes were scruffy. He looked out of place next to all of the other soldiers. He wondered if he was supposed to be self-conscious about this sort of thing.

To his relief, he was able to locate Mikasa quickly, sitting with Armin and a few of the others. He made a beeline for her. "Hey, Mikasa," he said.

She turned around, evidently surprised. "Eren? I thought you'd be busy."

"Hi, Eren!" Sasha called from Armin's left. Connie grinned, right next to her. Eren said hello and turned back to Mikasa.

"I wanted to drop in and see you guys before it was too late. How's Armin?" he asked her.

"Working," said Mikasa. "Sasha helped me convince him to come down to eat. We're nearly finished making preparations."

"Same with us," said Eren, then quickly added, "Miss Hange and I, you know. We're busy."

"I'll bet you are," muttered Armin under his breath. Eren looked at him, taken aback by this uncharacteristic snit.

"Aw, don't mind him," Sasha chimed in, "He's still griping o'er the fact that he can't come with us." She elbowed Armin in the shoulder and he bristled. "It's really not that exciting."

"Of course it's exciting!" Armin snapped, nose still in his book. "You're visiting one of the most historically renowned settlements in all of—"

"Anytime you want to switch places and have all the King's soldiers shootin' at you, I'll be happy to take you up on it," retorted Sasha.

"Your friend is also irritated because Connie made a bet with Sasha," said a girl with brown eyes and wavy, dirty-blonde hair whom Eren did not recognise, "regarding you and this other girl, as to which one of you would…how did she put it? I think it was 'give into temptation', or something like that." She sighed. "Well, they couldn't agree, so they asked Armin about it, but of course he insisted he didn't care."

"I don't!" Armin snapped at her, voice rising half an octave. "I've got a lot of important documents to read up on and this has nothing to do with anyth—" He stopped abruptly, apparently too incensed to speak. He glared at Eren as if daring him to challenge this. When Eren didn't, his anger seemed to subside into guilt. "Sorry," he said awkwardly. "I'm just, um…under a lot of pressure. It's got nothing to do with you personally."

"Later, Armin," said Mikasa. "We'll talk later."

Eren had no idea what to say. Sasha glared furiously at the other girl, who was now smirking at them all. "Damn it, Hitch, he wasn't supposed to know that! You've gone and thrown the whole bet!"

"Oh, for God's sake," Armin grumbled, elbows raised on either side of him to keep the others at a comfortable distance. Connie grinned towards Sasha, who was still fuming at Hitch, who had lost interest altogether.

"Well, these two were half-right," Hitch mused, gesturing at Eren. "You've definitely got an admirer."

Eren froze. He had a feeling he knew very well who it was, but it could be anyone, he told himself nervously. He felt Mikasa's eyes drift towards him warily. This did not help.

"I don't think she's aware you're on to her, yet." Hitch added, smirking. "Go on, turn around. She's two tables down from us." She tapped his shoulder.

Eren turned around so fast his knee caught the underside of the table, introducing an unpleasant numbness in his leg. Cursing, he looked out over the sea of recruits for the table Hitch had mentioned and promptly felt his stomach swoop as if he had just lost control of his manoeuvre gear; Annie was here, as well. She caught his eye, but he looked away before he had the chance to say hello. Why was he so nervous? Tension, he supposed. The notion made his pulse race for indiscernible reasons. Of course, he supposed, heart thudding anxiously. That was it. Tension between them.

He turned back, praying that he didn't look as emotionally laden as he felt.

"You're awfully jumpy, kid," Hitch observed.

Eren kept his mouth shut. Mikasa was still watching him from the corner of her eye. Hitch glanced over his shoulder, then back to him, raising her eyebrows. "Honest to God, she was looking at you. …Wait!" She grinned again, positively cat-like. "There she goes again, now, look!"

Annie was fine until Eren glanced right back at her, much to Hitch's approval. Their eyes met and something passed between them. She gave a kind of twitch, swivelled back in her seat, too anxiously to be natural. Hitch snickered. Eren didn't understand until he considered why Annie might have jumped like that, which took about three seconds, and another three to realise the ramifications of this act, innocent as it was.

Oh, he thought, and this was quickly followed with: Oh, SHIT—

He turned away just as quickly and caught his leg on the table again but didn't care. He knew the others had to know by now, the entire hall was probably watching them and Annie hadn't simply been looking at him, no, she had been looking at him. There were passing glances, and then there was…well, that. Why was she even here, anyways? Hadn't she had been retired to her cell, wherever it was? And what had brought it on?

He found Jean's gaze in the crowd of faces, returned with all the silent venom he could muster.

"Eren," said Mikasa quietly, firmly.

"What?" he said hotly, then sobered. She remained unflinching.

"I said that we're going to be gone for a few days. Armin and I, as well as some others."

"Ah…right. For the mission?"

She nodded. He turned back to his tray.

"Sorry," he said after a pause. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I know you didn't," she replied.

Annie was no longer watching him.

As he was still healing, Eren took the rest of the night to sleep and woke early the next morning. Since he had little in the way of immediate duties, and Commander Hange was gone for the time being, he decided to take advantage of this rare opportunity at freedom to walk around for a bit.

Eren sat at an empty table and tried his best to appear unremarkable. It was quieter without the others. Armin, to the best of Eren's knowledge, was working with Commander Erwin. Sasha was gone, and, if what he'd heard from the passing cadets was to be believed, thoroughly incensed; apparently there had been a misunderstanding on her part, and she wasn't going on the expedition after all due to her erratic tendencies, among other things. Eren could only imagine what this entailed. Annie was nowhere to be found, though he had expected this.

As time passed, soldiers trickled in, and the room filled with drowsy chattering. A few kids he did not recognise sat down at his table but did not strike up conversation.

"Anyone sitting here?"

Eren looked up. It was the smart-alecky girl from the day before. "No," he said, somewhat curtly. She sat down. "Have we met?" he asked.

"I guess this is the first time we've been properly introduced." She extended a hand. "I'm Hitch. You are?"

He took it. "Eren."

"Eren, eh? Your friends told me who you were, but it's nice to meet you in person." Hitch released his hand, paused. "There was this girl I met back in my days in the Military Police. She knew an Eren. Of course, I'm sure there's plenty of Erens in the world." She chuckled.

Eren felt a little more at ease talking to her. "You were in the Military Police?" he asked. Hitch shrugged.

"Was, up until a couple weeks ago, what with the rebellion and everything." Seeing Eren's face, she added: "In hindsight, it was nothing that exciting. Really more of a sting operation. Me and this other guy were patrolling in the woods, when your people swooped in and basically inducted us right on the spot. Not that we had a say in the matter, 'cos they had us at gunpoint.

"It worked out in the end, I suppose, after that coup d'état. I'd be better off here with you lot than looking down the barrel of a gun in front of the whole military court. The food's definitely better, anyway." She sighed, almost wistfully. "God, they hated us in Stohess."

"You're from Stohess?" asked Eren.

"Originally Stohess, yes."

"And that girl you knew, was she from Stohess, as well?"

"She transferred into the Military Police after I did. She wasn't exactly the warmest sort. Then that disaster happened with Titans inside the walls, and I didn't see her after that." Hitch shrugged, but she was more reserved when she spoke. "I've heard some stuff about her. And I just can't believe it, you know? She was cold, sure, but she wasn't…." She stopped at the look on his face. "Something the matter? We can talk about something else, if this is bothering you."

Eren knew there was no way he should tell her what he knew, especially not in front of the whole dining hall. "It's not that," he said. "I'll tell you after you're done eating."

"Well, that works out perfectly," said Hitch. "I'm finished with this." She tapped her bowl with her spoon and retrieved her tray, made to stand. "I've got stable duties. Say, have you got any place to be in particular? I'd hate to get you into trouble or something; you seem like an all right sort."

Eren felt nervous, but Hitch was turning out to be much more of a reasonable person than he'd thought, so why not take a chance? "No, actually. We can talk outside." Hitch did not pursue their conversation openly, but she kept stealing suspicious glances over at him until he cracked. "Will you stop doing that?" he said finally.

"Sure, when you stop avoiding the question."

"It's not—" Eren lowered his voice because a few curious stragglers were watching them now. "It's not something I want to talk about here."

"All right," Hitch sighed. "Let's go."

Once Eren was sure they had put a reasonable amount of distance between themselves and the rest of the scouts, he struck up conversation in the empty hallway.

"So. That girl from the Military Police. Did you know her name?" he asked.

Hitch blinked. "Annie Leonhardt? …Something like that, it definitely began with an 'L'. She was drafted straight from Trost, I remember that."

Eren felt the sinking feeling in his stomach for an entirely different reason. "This…is going to sound insane," he said finally. "But she's not dead."

Hitch frowned, unconvinced. "How can you know something like that for certain?"

"Because I, um. Knew her before I enlisted into the Scouts. Know her, actually." Hitch was looking at him oddly. "The girl," Eren said insistently. "Annie was the girl from yesterday. We know each other."

Hitch's reaction was pretty predictable. "But—WHAT? How does that—Captain Levi told us she was still—"

"It's a long story," Eren interrupted quickly. "But yes, she's alive."

The blood was steadily draining from Hitch's face. "You're joking," she said weakly. "Oh my God, that's not funny."

"I'm not," Eren said, wishing he could say he was.

Hitch gazed at him as if waiting for him to take it back, but he did not. She slumped back against the wall. "So what you're telling me is…Annie's not dead?" Her voice was low. Eren nodded. "God," she whispered again. "I can hardly believe it, it's like something out of a—" Her face lit up. "Hold on. Are you Eren Jaeger?"

"Yes," said Eren with some level of apprehension.

She looked him over for a moment. "You're younger than I would've thought you would be."

"That's all you have to say?"

"Well, what am I supposed to say after you tell me something like that? I'm not like you, all right? I need time to process what you're telling me."

"I really shouldn't have—" Eren began, but Hitch rolled her eyes.

"Oh, don't you start with that nonsense," she said irritably, "for God's sake, this is the happiest moment of my enlistment; don't take it away from me."

Eren gave her a moment to collect herself. When they had walked on for a few minutes and were headed into the grounds, she struck up conversation again.

"So, Eren Jaeger. I've heard a lot about you. Nothing too funny, don't worry your head."

"You've heard about me," Eren repeated, wishing he hadn't said anything at all. Hitch shrugged.

"'Heard of you', sure. You're only the boy who stopped up Wall Rose and everything that came afterwards. Imagine, meeting someone that well-known to the general public. It's enough to make your head explode." She smiled good-naturedly. "Nah, I'm only joking. I don't think she trusts me very much."

"Who, Annie?"

"Who else? She hasn't changed much, has she?" Her tone was almost fond, sounded like something one might reserve for recalling a dear relative they had not seen in many years.

"How well do you know her?" Eren asked.

"Not as well as you, apparently."

Eren paused, turned around. "What's that supposed to mean?" he said testily.

"Well, she was my roommate for almost a month. I don't think I could know her better if I tried, but you two seem to go pretty far back, so I just figured…."

"Figured what, exactly?"

Hitch was indifferent to his query as they rounded the corner. "Just that you were friends," she said, but he had a feeling she wasn't being entirely truthful. "Annie wasn't awful, honestly…well, all right, we hardly ever talked, because she was always out on odd jobs. She was good at them, too, from what I've heard. Had a real knack for intimidation." Hitch trailed off, grinning, and Eren allowed her half a minute's reminiscence before he cleared his throat. Hitch blinked. "That reminds me…" She looked at him. "Are you scared of her or something?"

"Annie? Why would I be scared of her?" said Eren warily.

"Oh, I dunno," said Hitch, glancing disinterestedly at her blunt nails, "maybe because of how you reacted to her at lunch before. Not to mention she's definitely one of the weirdest kids I've ever met? And I like to think I've seen some odd ones, but she's just…have you ever tried speaking with her? It's as if you're talking to the wall. Sometimes I forgot she was there. I can't imagine how you two hold conversations."

"She's not that bad once you get to know her," said Eren coolly.

Hitch looked curiously up at him, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. "Bit touchy, aren't we? Is there something else I should know?"

Eren scowled, turning away, hastening his pace, hands in his pockets. Why did everyone keep assuming that, he thought angrily. So they weren't exactly wrong―what did it matter if they were right, why did they always have to be so pleased with themselves? Was the concept of his friendship with Annie really such a fascinating subject?

"Oh, dear. I didn't know you two were so close. I was wondering why she reacted the way she did last time. Didn't think she was capable of making friends, let alone anything like this. Well, I suppose you're not exactly a social butterfly, either, so maybe that's why you two get along. No offense." Upon seeing his face, she made an effort to appear more understanding. "Listen, you seem all right. She's probably fortunate to have someone like you to talk with."

"What do you care if I'm friends with her?"

"Because believe it or not, I was once her friend, too," Hitch sighed. "Even if she doesn't like me very much, because I'm older and more outgoing than she is. Look, Annie doesn't have to fear, your secret's safe with me. That is," she sped up to walk side-by side with him, "assuming your little friends haven't caught on yet. But let's face it, they'd have to be really stupid, because you two couldn't be any more obvious if you tried."

They had reached the stables. Eren was fuming; Hitch's smile widened. "Oh, come on, you saw how it is. So let me tell you something…Eren, is it? Right, if anyone attempts to bring this unbelievably obvious point to your attention, well, what have you got to lose? They're right, what do you care? Neither of you strike me the type to give a damn about these kinds of things, as it is."

"I didn't ask for the lecture," said Eren irritably, and his face felt hotter. "I didn't ask for any of this, actually."

Hitch remained unfazed. His reaction was clearly nothing new to her, and it only annoyed him further. "Kid, you and Leonhardt are probably going to thank me in a couple days. Take it from someone a bit older and wiser than you: if you want to regain some control over your little lives, start by taking matters into your own hands. If she isn't going to do it, then I guess the responsibility is on you. Yes, I know she's obstinate, but you've already told me she's not all bad, so I guess the two of you will get along splendidly, won't you?" Eren found he had nothing to say to this. "Now if you'll excuse me," Hitch concluded smugly, withdrawing a small neckerchief from her satchel to tie around her neck like a surgeon's mask, then gloves, and placed a hand on the stable door, "I've got work to do with a few colleagues of mine, and you two have your own troubles to sort out." And with that she opened the door, called: "OI! Anyone else in here?" Eren was still there when she turned back, utterly bewildered. "Guess not. Sometimes you have kids lurking about in here." She sighed. "Word of advice—whatever you two think you're doing, use some common sense and don't meet up in the stables—it's obvious, and you'll come out smelling like horse shit. All right, see you around."

She closed the door behind her.

Eren spent a lot of time mulling over what Hitch had said. And loathe as he was to admit it, she was right about a lot of things. So the next time he and Annie crossed paths, he caught her attention.

"Hey, er, Annie?" She paused, and Eren hadn't really thought about how to get across what he needed to say and maybe it would sound stupid, but he didn't care. "Look, this probably will sound strange regardless of the way I put it, but…I want to get to know you," he said. "As a person, I mean. I know that we train together, and we see each other's faces but we don't really know each other that well."

It was really a testament to their friendship, he thought, to know that she hadn't disappeared after he said this. She squared her shoulders, replied: "You know me well enough." There was an emotion in her voice that hadn't been there before.

"I remember you, Ann. It's not the same as knowing someone." He got no reply this time, so he kept on going. "All I've got to go on are old memories of you, and that's not how I want to think when I see you, because…things were different back then. And it's not the same now, you know."

She was still there. He exhaled, waiting, when she actually spoke: "Really?" There was nothing sarcastic in her tone.

"'Course I do," he said, almost nonplussed as to why she'd ask him to reaffirm something like this. She looked at him with an expression that was somewhere between confusion and surprise, faltered slightly, looked away for a moment.

Annie wanted to respond but didn't know what she should say. It was all very…sudden. She let out the breath she forgot she'd been holding, asked, "So what brought this on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've never asked me anything like that before."

"That's sort of the point. What I'm trying to get at is, well…you can think you know someone all your life, and never once come close to it." He took a breath, feeling jittery. "You understand what I'm getting at?"

"I think so." She took a chance, glanced sideways at him. "So now what?"

He grinned. It was as if a great weight had been lifted from his chest and he could breathe freely again. "I reckon we have to start somewhere."



one week prior



There was a feeling, as Eren stepped away from the water and journeyed back to land once more, of something missing, and also something restored. The earth was scorching under his bare feet, an inexorable reminder of their transgressions.

As he clambered up the bank, Eren took some time to think over this whole situation. He went back and forth and back again—maybe he was overcomplicating things. The heat left him unfocused. She had been warm and the thought was lingering. He felt a tug in his gut at the memory, shook it off, feeling foolish.

Her footsteps marked the dry earth. The afternoon sun beat down on them, the air was muggy. They paced themselves adjacent, not quite together, single file. There were still traces of dirt smudging his skin and where the water had not touched him, hair tousled, clothes untidy. They dried off quickly in the heat; Annie considered the possibility of sunburn. Her mouth was still very dry. She wished she had brought her canteen with her.

"Annie?" said Eren behind her.

"What is it?"

He worked over the words in his mind, heart pounding unreasonably in his chest, watching her back. "Don't—don't you think this is strange?" No response. Maybe he'd not been clear enough. "How she's just, you know. Letting it happen."

No need to clarify who she was; neither of them were keen on dwelling on it.

"I'm well aware of that," said Annie, a little cooler than she had been before.

"Yes, but doesn't it bother you?" Eren stressed.

"I'm willing to make some sacrifices," Annie said. She stopped, turned to face him and her eyes met his, serious as he approached beneath the shadow of the canopy above them. "I won't pretend to enjoy being trapped underground, or used as a test subject, or whatever catches her fancy. But I'd much rather be kept underground most days and smell a little if it means we'll at least be together."

He was still bothered, by principle. "We're like a couple of lab rats."

He said nothing, didn't have to. She knew already. "It's unpleasant," she concluded. "Not unreasonable."

"It isn't…" Eren stopped himself. He'd been about to say it isn't right, but where was the sense in protesting when he was not sure himself, anymore? Was it so wrong to seek companionship over freedom, he wondered.

"With that said," Annie went on, "I think it'd be best to take these things into account." She paused. "I'll assume this wasn't planned."

Eren was glad she was not looking at him anymore. "Not really, no."

"I didn't think so." Annie exhaled; he wondered if she was smiling. "We'd do best to talk now, while we have the time." She started walking again. "Objectively, we have one day off, each, that's two days between us." She raised her hand and held up two fingers so he could see.

"To what?" Eren asked her.

"To talk, pick up where we left off previously since to—day. We'll just have to take more precautions in the future." She looked at him this time, and her mouth was thin, but something shone in her eyes. "You game?"

"If you are," he said, a little nervous.

This time she did smile. "If you're having second thoughts, now would be the time to let me know. We won't have another opportunity to talk at leisure for a little while."

"My answer hasn't changed."

She turned back again. "All right."

They walked on for a while in silence, passed through the forest and into the field.

"You'll have to trust me," she told him in parting.



Eren stirred, woke and found himself alone. The cell was dark enough that he could not see the guards. All was still. The nights were usually cold down here, despite the heat of summer. Yet he was not so: he had grown used to it a while ago. Filled with a restless energy, he lay awake, let his thoughts drift, hesitantly, to Annie. She had mentioned a plan, of sorts, but how did one plan such an excursion? The Regiment's guards were far more capable than those indoctrinated within the Military Police or Garrison. What were they to do in the meantime?

He played the memory of their last meeting over in his mind; she had looked at him, overshadowed by his body, wet from the water. And Eren understood. Oh, how he understood, and how he despised Horseface all the more for it.

Closing his eyes only made it more vivid. He rolled over, face hot, desire and confliction roiling in his heart and his loins. He cursed, strangely aware of the shortness of his own breath, opened his eyes and tried to ignore his obvious discomfort.

It didn't work.

Did she have sleepless nights and reckless fancies like he did? And if so, what if she was just as frustrated as he was, what if she lay awake, conflicted and yearning?

Suppose she didn't. Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions.

Eren swore under his breath. He was being ridiculous. This entire situation was ridiculous and he almost wanted to laugh. Almost.

He still felt undeniably weird thinking about her naked, but her Titan was exactly that—a shell, curtailed, not perfect in its precision, skinless and inhuman—a mould to be peeled away and find another girl in miniature…. Except he knew the girl within, the humanity of her, and the little white scars trailing up from the corners of her mouth, down her chin, a web of lines spanning down her shoulders, marking them as equals, mirroring the beast in many ways but not quite all….

How it vexed him to think of her so! Take away his memories of her transgressions, leave him with the image of an ordinary girl. His abhorrence of the Female Titan and all it represented was interwoven between a strange, dodgy desire to follow her down the winding path of companionship. It was criminal to think of her when they'd been young and unsure and trapped on different sides, but he couldn't forget. And he allowed himself, tentatively, to imagine what it would be like to draw her into his arms, or let her take the lead, it didn't matter. In memories she was warm and soft and not quite yielding; in fractured pieces he let himself contemplate the shape of her, the weight of her and maybe a little more than that, until he sat up and pushed his head into his hands and asked himself if he was going to hell for this.

Too late. A flurry of conceptual imagery, and in his mind they became entangled. He fell back onto the mattress and ducked his head, exhaled into the shabby sheets under him and whispered a furtive apology to no one in particular. Fumbling with his trousers, he rolled over to face the dungeon wall. When he shut his eyes he could feel—envision—her shoulder against his lips and he lost himself for a little while. Flushed, curling into himself, nuzzling the jaw of an illusory girl. In his mind he ran his hand up her torso, over her chest and she sighed, pressing back into him. In reality his cock twitched under his hand and his teeth clamped down on the thin fabric of his pillow and he groaned hoarsely, brow furrowed. In his mind Annie tilted her head towards him, flushed and breathless, and whispered: "You're going to have to be quiet."

In reality Eren opened his eyes and he was alone and aching, breath ragged, heart stuttering in his chest. He licked his dry lips, uneasy, and wished he could answer her.