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Chapter Three: We Could Fly or We Could Fall



"There were days when I was just broken, you know. There were nights when I was doubting myself, but you kept my heart from falling. It didn't matter how many times I got knocked on the floor, but you knew one day I would be standing tall. Just look at us now."-Justin Bieber

Micah stood in the hallway with her closed orbs and tried to tell herself that all she had dreamed and all she had experienced in that one night were real. She couldn't come to the conclusion that it was. She could not think hard enough with the best possible logic how that night had been real. The only thing keeping her together at the seams was the coat and hood she held tightly in her arms. They smelled of him and for her, even if it was hard to believe, that was all the evidence she needed to presume that everything was real.

She'd closed the door with a smile and turned around to walk towards her room with afrown. She kept telling herself that everything was going to be okay. She kept telling herself that even though he may not be her boyfriend he still wanted her just the same. She kept telling herself that Harry Styles was Harry Styles, and he was a busy lad but was still making time and plans to be with her. She felt special, yes, because he'd spotted her out of 20,000 fans and asked her out to dinner, but only because he thought she was beautiful. She felt special because he'd listened to her long and dragged out story and fell for her as aperson. She felt special because he'd tried not to hurt her more than once in the same night-starting with not going through with the sex and then letting her down because he felt she would be eaten alive in his world-it made her feel special because he tried with his heart. But overall now that the night was over she felt alone because now she wasn't Micah, Harry Styles' new love interest, she was just Micah, the normal semi-depressed teenager in her room all alone. To her, feeling alone could be so needed and so dreaded at the same time. She could take the time to sort out her feelings and sane-up her mind or she could overthink everything in her life and her feelings would become distorted and she would feel much more alone than she really was. Unfortunately, at the moment it was the latter and she could feel it crawling back up on her. She could feel her throat closing in and her eyes tearing up and her hands shaking and lip quivering and her mind fogging over and heart thudding rapidly and her head pounding and her stomach letting lose the wrong type of butterflies, it was overwhelming and it was a tough cookie to try and overcome. It came at her with a bang. It came at her so hard that she was afraid she wouldn't bare and she'd relapse and fall to pieces in front of herself. She was afraid she would fall to pieces in front of /him/.

"AHHHHHHH!" she screamed before buckling her knees and collapsing to the ground with shaky hands hiding her face. She let out soft and hard whimpers in between deep breaths and exaggerated sighs. She was drowning in her tears and they were more tears than she'd ever thought she could produce.

/Knock/.

/Shuffle of feet/.

"Mickey, I'm so sorry baby girl," exclaimed Marie as she shuffled over to her broken daughter and cradled her in her arms. "I don't know what happened baby but I do know that everything will be okay."

"It w-w-was f-fy-fine. I ju-ju-just d-don't deser-erve h-him," cried Micah.

"Oh honey you deserve any man that can make you feel alive. Can you tell me what happened?"

Micah sat up and took a few moments to calm her breathing, shaking, and tears. When she finally got it a little bit under control she turned to face her mother and held her hands. "It...w-well it was amazing. Mom it was a-amazing."

Marie's face lit up with interest, "yeah?"

"Yeah and he is the m-most caring g-guy I've ev-ever met and he's funny and...cute and just so energized."

"What'd you two do?"

Micah took another moment to calm her breathing and tears.

"Well we went to get dinner and then we went to Central Park to eat it. Then we had, like, this crazy snowball fight with his bodyguard, Paul. Do you remember Paul? He led us to their dressing room."

Marie nodded and motioned for Micah to keep talking.

"Then we just sat in the snow underneath a tree and even though it was quiet, like we didn't say anything, it was so nice and peaceful. We held hands and just like stared at the stars and our breaths and the landscape and the city and just, oh my gosh it was so amazing. Then he was like, 'it's getting cold let's go somewhere' and we left and went to his hotel room to watch movies and eat junk food."

Marie's face went hard, "hotel room?"

Micah nodded, "please let me finish mom."

Maria nodded.

"So anyway when we got there he wanted to like make out and stuff and I was like, 'no.' So that's when I decided to tell him everything about why I needed to see him tonight. The best part about the night was that he sat there holding me in his arms and just listened to me. After I told him we spent about an hour lying under the blankets holding each other silently. Then we kissed and that's it, nothing more because he told me that, to him, I'm not some beautiful girl to sleep with and then forget about, he actually cares about me and doesn't want to hurt me and take my most innocent part like that. So I got upset, naturally because I want him, and then we just got my stuff and he dropped me off at the front door and kissed me and told me he was sorry and that he'll see me tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Marie asked.

Micah grinned and nodded. "You see that coat over there with the fur trim? It's his. He let me wear it leaving the hotel for coverage from all the cameras-by the way paparazzi is so crazy I don't know how they do it-and when I tried to give them back he said no because it gives him a reason to come see me tomorrow."

"That's so cute."

"Yeah and then he asked me out on a date for tomorrow and is picking me up at 4:30."

"That's early for a date, though."

"I know. It's going to be like a fun extravaganza date. All day. I don't know for sure what we'll be doing but it should be fun."

Marie stood up from sitting on Micah's floor and left the room before returning with two big bowls of sherbet. She was the type of mother who loved her daughter with all the honesty in her heart. She was there when Micah gained and lost her first boyfriend. She was there when Micah needed her the most, and it's easy to say that Marie was Micah's best friend. Micah could go to her mother for anything. It was a one of a kind relationship and all of Micah's friends could rely on Marie for their own needs. That's just how it has been since Micah returned home from rehab.

"So what do you think about him?" Marie asked as she sat on the end of Micah's bed and handed the bowl of colorful, frosted, sweetness. They spent the rest of the night conversing on the night Micah had spent and what she thought would come of it.

"It's alright, Isurvived, I'm alive again, because of you, I made it through every storm. What is life, what's the use if you're killing time? I'm so glad I found an angel, someone who was there when all my hopes fell. I wanna fly, looking in your eyes." - Jesse McCartney

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