FicWad

Chapter Three..

By 11:30 things had certainly wound down. Frankie and Mikey were drunk and making out in a corner, Ray was passed out on the sofa, Jane and Alice were playing some sort of drinking game Scarlett had long since pulled out from and Gerard and Matt had disappeared for a while.
Scarlett focused her tipsy mind as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.
The screen read 'dad'. Scarlett felt her stomach drop and for a moment she thought she would be sick. Tears filled her eyes and her breathing became short and fast.
'Not a panic attack. Not now' she pleaded with herself, throwing her phone onto the couch next to her before she stood up and walked quickly towards the door to the house. She rushed past all the rooms, heading quick as she could to her own. She closed the door behind her and ran over to her bathroom door, opening it and getting inside.
"Shit" Gerard turned his head around, his back to her as he faced the toilet.
"Fuck, I'm sorry" Scarlett looked away, her panic and startle to find him in there rendering her unable to do anything but press her back to the door and slide down it onto the floor slowly.
"I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm sorry, I just can't go back out there" she shivered covering her eyes with her hands, pulling her knees up to her chest.
"Sorry Scarlett, Matt was going to be sick in the other bathroom and I really had to pee" Gerard blushed finishing off and zipping up his jeans.
"Don't you be sorry, I'm the one who walked in on you peeing.. So embarrassing" Scarlett sighed, trying to hide her rapid breathing.
"For who?" Gerard smirked washing his hands. Scarlett laughed for a moment.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't see anything" she blushed. Gerard smiled.
"Are you alright?" he asked kneeling down to her. Scarlett uncovered her eyes, revealing the tears spilling from them, there was no point trying to hide it. Gerard's smile instantly faded and his heart sank. Scarlett realised she couldn't hide her distress anymore so finally allowed herself to take her short and sharp breaths rather than holding her breath. In out, in out, in out. She began crying with embarrassment.
"It's okay, you're having a panic attack. It's okay, it's okay, love. C'mere" Gerard lifted her off the floor and sat her on the closed toilet lid. Kneeling before her he held her hands tightly.
"Breathe.. Nice and slow, breathe with me okay? In... Out... In... Out" he soothed her with his calming voice, holding her hands and stroking them with his thumb gently until eventually she relaxed enough and her tears stopped coming. Grabbing some toilet paper he gently wiped her cheeks.
"There you go, are you alright now?" He looked hopefully into her eyes. Scarlett just pulled him into a hug, taking him by surprise. She smiled and nodded breathing in his cologne, unaware that he too was smiling and breathing her in.
"Thank you, Gerard.. I.. Didn't want anyone to see this.. But I'm now glad I wasn't alone.. I would have.." Scarlett began to think about cutting herself.
"Would have.." He asked concerned.
"Nothing. I'm okay now. Thank you again" she wiped her eyes pulling back.
"That's okay, love. May I ask what triggered your anxiety?"
"An unwanted phone call.. I don't think I can talk about it right now.."
"I understand.. Would you like to go back now?" Gerard stroked her cheek gently.
"No no no.. I can't, I can't yet" Scarlett began crying again, clawing at Gerard's shirt.
"No no, shh shh shhhh. It's okay, love. I'll stay in here with you. Come sit with me" Gerard moved over to sit on the floor against the wall, patting the spot beside him. Scarlett took a few deep breaths before she joined him.
"God, I'm sorry. Anxiety can be so crippling sometimes" she sighed.
"It's okay, really" Gerard put his arm around her to warm her, noticing she was shivering a bit on the cold tiles.
"Thank you" she snuggled into his side.
"So.. How old are you?" She asked trying to distract herself.
"27, you?"
"23"..
An hour went by as they made all manners of small talk, getting to know each other quite well.
"You know I've never been this comfortable with someone so quickly" Gerard smiled with a heat in his stomach.
"Me either.. Something about you is so.. Warm" Scarlett smiled.
"May I ask you something?" Scarlett said softly.
"Sure"
"What happened to your eye?" She asked hesitantly. She could tell by Gerard's body language it was an uncomfortable topic.
"Well.. I had this girlfriend.. And before we broke up two weeks ago.. She gave me this. Looks a lot better than it did" he hung his head. Scarlett turned her body and took his face into her hands. They paused for a moment, eyes locked in contact.
"I'm so sorry that happened to you.. You don't deserve that" she said. Gerard took her hand in his.
'Kiss her, Gerard.. You want to.. Just do it' his mind taunted. She could feel his desire to.
'Kiss me.. Please just kiss me' she thought to herself
"Hello.. Scarlett, honey are you in there?" A knock at the door and Frank's voice broke the magic spell between them.
"Yeah, I'm in here" she said almost disappointedly as she and Gerard got up from the bathroom floor.
"Can I get you something?" Frank asked before the door suddenly opened.
"Oh.. Oh! Um hey guys!" He stuttered as Scarlett walked out followed by Gerard.
"What were um.. You two doing in there?" Frank teased.
"Not what you think we were doing" Scarlett blushed. Gerard cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Oh stop being so bashful you two! I'm only kidding. Night has well and truly wrapped up I would say. Everyone is heading home now. Did you have a good night Scarlett? Frank hugged her.
"I did.. I really did enjoy tonight" she looked and smiled to Gerard over Frank's shoulder. Gerard smiled back at her.
"I'm so glad. Mikey is staying here tonight Gee, you're more than welcome to stay too if you like?" Frank turned back to him.
"I might go home.. It's been a long day"
"Hmm.. Alright well try and be around more Gee, we miss you. Practice some time next week?" Frank gave him a hug.
"Yeah, it'll feel good to practice again.. You have a good nights sleep, Scarlett. I'll see you both soon" Gerard smiled before leaving. Scarlett smiled as she moved over to her bag to fish out some pyjamas.
"So.. What happened?" Frank sat on her bed, batting his lashes for an answer. Scarlett laughed as she slipped off her jeans and into her stripped shorts.
"Nothing like what you think.. At all! There was no sex, no kissing, nothing at all of that nature, I swear it" she smiled.
"Damn.. Okay miss, well what on earth were you doing in there with him in the first place let alone for god knows how long!?" Frank giggled hitting her bottom with a pillow.
"I walked in on him peeing" Scarlett laughed.
"Oh god, you didn't?" Frank laughed.
"I did. So embarrassing and no I didn't see anything, before you ask. I had a bit of a panic attack.. I went to go in there, he was in there and yeah.. He really helped me actually. He's nice" Scarlett continued. Being comfortable with Frank she began taking off her jumper and bra and getting into her white singlet. Frank's face fell as he hung his head.
"What's wrong, Frank?" Scarlett asked climbing onto the bed beside him.
"You're.. Cutting again" Frank frowned. Scarlett had forgotten about the cuts before she took her jumper off.
"Oh my god.. I'm sorry Frank. I didn't want you to find out this way, I forgot. I was going to have a chat with you tomorrow... I've ruined this whole day haven't I? I've cried, I had a panic attack at the party you threw for me and now this.."
"Honey, no you haven't I'm just worried about you. You've been through a lot in the last few years and this was a big move for you. I expected the transition to be a little bumpy but that doesn't mean you've ruined anything. Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone loved you tonight and you were having fun until the panic set in.. On that note.. Was this what caused it?" Frank asked pulling her phone from his pocket, the screen lighting up saying 'two missed calls - dad'
Scarlett nodded.
"You don't have to ever speak to him again if you don't want to Scarlett.. Remember that" Frank hugged her tightly.
"I know.. Just caught me off guard I guess" she sighed hugging him tightly.
"I know. You get some sleep, tomorrow we're going for a barbecue at Mikey and Gerard's place" Frank pecked her lips softly.
"Okay sounds good.. Good night Frankie" Scarlett smiled climbing into her new bed.
"Night bubba" Frank switched off the light and closed her door, the moon light coating her room in pale light. She snuggled into the sheets with a smile on her face. It was as comfy as she imagined. Her first night in her knew home. Yet part of her wished she was still with Gerard, talking and laughing as they were. He seemed like the kind of guy she would love to get to know more in depth. But another little part of her whispered ~ 'Don't do it, honey. Don't let yourself fall in love..'

Gerard placed both his hands on the wall of the shower, hanging his head so the water run down his neck and over his hair, going over the night in his head. Wondering if he should have kissed her. Was it too soon? Were they both just vulnerable? Would she have wanted him too? Too many questions ran through his mind. He thought about how beautiful she was. Even when she was sat upon the toilet with tears rolling down her cheeks she was beautiful. He wondered what her lips would feel like against his. A want stirred inside him.. The desire to touch himself. Abruptly he turned off the water and got out to dry himself.
'You should try.. Just try.. But what if I can't get hard.. How will I feel then. No. No. I can't' he thought to himself remembering all the trouble he had sexually towards the end of his relationship, it getting so bad to point he couldn't touch himself alone. He sighed as he walked out into his bedroom. Getting some underwear out of his drawer and lighting up a cigarette he caught his reflection in the mirror, running his hand all over his torso.
'The weight I've gained certainly doesn't help my sex drive.. Or confidence. Maybe it's time to make a change' he thought putting out his cigarette. Going around his room he threw out all his cigarettes, a framed picture of his ex, empty beer bottles and food packaging. He cleaned his room from top to bottom until it was 3am. Collapsing into bed he felt a sense of ease. Starting tomorrow, he would be starting a new chapter.