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"Dean..."

He didn't want Jack squat.

"Dean."

He didn't want to think about Sam. He didn't want to listen to the voices in his head telling him to stop driving and put a bullet in his brain. He didn't want to feel heavy with the burden of having to keep his promises. He didn't want -

"Dean!"

Castiel's urgent tone shook Dean from his dark musings. The hunter didn't know he was gripping the steering wheel too tightly, knuckles going white and trembling. He was just registering the burning sensation in his eyes and the wet feel of tears rolling down his cheeks when he realized he was crying. Dean panicked. He tried to dry his face with the back of his hand in annoyance but was too frustrated to do it properly. The Impala abruptly stopped moving, Dean killing the engine off and slumping tiredly in the driver's seat. The hunter couldn't find the strength to drive anymore.

A warm and solid hand clutched his right shoulder and the Winchester knew his soul wasn't going to fly off to his own personal hell anytime soon. He felt grounded, secure, and all because of Cas' reassuring warmth and grace permeating through his flesh and bone. The hunter was never so grateful to the angel before. Probably more grateful than him dying twice and rebelling against his family. If that didn't say anything about how messed up he was, he didn't know what could.

Dean took in the view of his friend's furrowed brows and deep frown, and the outstretched hand still firmly resting under the celestial brand that was seared into his skin. It reminded the hunter that Castiel isn't just an angel – he's the angel who raised him from Hell. Cas was taken for granted and the thought made him feel guilty. He didn't deserve Cas' loyalty and he didn't deserve Sam's sacrifice. He wasn't strong enough for the three of them and look what happened.

"If I could take the pain away, I would do it... in a heartbeat," the angel murmured in low tones, halting at the words that were too human for him, as if tasting the emotions on his tongue. "But it's not a wound I can heal, I am sorry."

Dean glanced at his feathered friend and mustered a bitter smile, "You've done more than enough Cas. I honestly don't even know why you're still here." Because everyone leaves and he doesn't understand why Castiel, with his shiny new wings, isn't doing his disappearing act and reclaim his angel status in Heaven.

For all the times that Cas said that he wasn't there to perch on Dean's shoulder, that he didn't serve him, he was there to protect - to guide and to guard. "You're my charge, Dean, and I'm your Guardian Angel. I take my job seriously," the angel stated.

That made the hunter release a surprised snort of laughter. He didn't understand why it was so funny but the way Castiel said it sounded so in-character. It was hilarious. He slapped Cas' back fondly, remembering the times when it was the end of the world and the angel was dragged into Dean's shenanigans. Sam quit hunting then and Cas was there as temporary replacement. It seemed even now, his friend was there when his little brother couldn't and still, Castiel made him laugh.

"So now what, you're gonna follow me to Lisa's and sing me to sleep?" It was a sarcastic off-hand suggestion but the hunter could see a slight smirk forming in the angel's face. Seriously?

"Actually, that's not a bad idea."

There is no way - no way that that's happening.

"Nuh-uh, that's not happening, Angel." This was ridiculous, the heaviness of the situation just turned into a whole new level of bizarre. A part of Dean was relieved that Cas was there to comfort him in his own weird way and another part was just freaked out.

The blue-eyed angel arched an eyebrow, as if daring the hunter to a challenge, "I made Sam a promise to look after you." And maybe he was challenging Dean. Little bastard knew he wouldn't deny Sam of all people.

He huffed, "Yeah? And what 'bout Heaven? The big bosses are all out of the game, you could be the new sheriff in town."

"Raphael's still alive," Cas started in a begrudging tone (the asshat did kill him the first time). "And there are higher authorities other than the archangels that'll keep everyone in check. I think Heaven can do without me for a day."

But you can't. Cas didn't have to say the words but Dean knew they were there. He didn't like the idea of needing somebody else besides Sammy. He didn't like that Sammy wasn't there right now. "Okay, buddy. We're going to Lisa's house and you behave like a normal person. You don't stare, you don't talk about the Apocalypse and you smile."

God knows Castiel is as stubborn as a Winchester and Dean doesn't bother to argue with him. Cas made a noncommittal noise, not cowed about the prospect of meeting the Braedens and be human for the night. The hunter shook his head, a sad smile tugging his lips as he put the Impala into drive. He had to keep going, keep fighting, because he was not alone.

The angel stared at Dean, observed how his taut shoulders unwound and the dark cloud above his head dissipate. Castiel internally breathe in relief. He was able to distract the hunter from thinking of Sam. Exactly like what his friend wanted.

•••

A rhythmic knocking came at Lisa Braeden's door and she had an idea as to who was exactly behind it. She didn't, however, expect the other dark-haired man wearing a tan trench coat to enter her house along Dean Winchester. The fact that Sam wasn't with them told her it was a story she rather wouldn't want to know. The shock might've shown because Dean was in her face in a flash, the hunter appearing very tired and very old. He quirked a grin that looked very much like a grimace.

"Hey, Lisa. Sorry for dropping by all of a sudden... You uh, you don't mind if my friend and I could stay? Just for tonight?"

"Of course I don't mind it, Dean. You know you can stay here anytime," the woman shook her head, offering Dean and the stranger polite smiles. They both looked battle-weary, like they've won the war but lost the fight. Lisa never hesitated to help a person before, so she didn't hesitate to guide them towards the kitchen and offering them dinner. Neither touched their food but she wasn't surprised.

"Where's Ben?" Dean asked, breaking the silence. His eyes swept around the room, looking at random things except for Lisa's face. Dean didn't want to explain anything yet so he kept talking, because it meant he didn't have to think. The woman pulled out a chair and sat in front of them, "Doing homework. He'll love that you visited," she glanced at the blue-eyed man beside Dean, "and surely annoy your friend too."

The Winchester mentally kicked himself for not introducing the angel in the trench coat; Castiel had totally slipped from his mind. Lisa was curious, he could tell, but not enough to ask him what happened. She probably knew something was up and most likely it was a matter of privacy and respect than actual curiosity. Dean was more than thankful to the kind woman; two people staying for the night were already too much to ask for but she welcomed them both with open arms – and open beer bottles. He didn't want to ruin Lisa and Ben's hospitality. "Oh. Oh yeah. Cas - he's a good friend of mine," he jerked a thumb at the said friend and frowned when the angel didn't so much as utter a sound. He cleared his throat and corrected, "His name's Castiel."

Not even a twitch. He elbowed the angel in the ribs none too gently to get his attention and immediately regretted it. The hunter forgot that Cas had bigger mojo this time and his body was possibly built from titanium, if the bruising on Dean's joint didn't confirm it. It did the trick though. Castiel instantly sat at attention, back ramrod straight and having a very convincing 'deer in the headlights' impression on his face. Looks like the hunter caught him on one of his personal episodes that mostly consisted of staring at a human contraption and listing off the pros and cons for its daily use.

Lisa smiled at him, "Well that's an interesting name. Nice to meet you, Castiel. I don't know much of Dean's friends but you seem special." Cas stared at Lisa's expectant face then slowly, deliberately, lifted the corner of his lips and sincerely replied in a gravelly voice, "Thank you, Lisa."

It felt so awkward that Dean almost wished the nerdy little dude never went with him in the first place. But Lisa, the angel that she was in her own right, just laughed good-naturedly and moved on. After that particular social disaster, the night went in a blur. The next thing Dean remembered was Ben bounding from his room to greet the hunter and tried to annoy the hell out of Cas by asking too many questions. The kid had grown a good few inches but he was still little Ben – the same little bugger who reminded Dean so much of himself. Lisa just chuckled at the sight of them and went to get some CDs for a movie, preparing the couches as she did so. He admitted it was nice, living the apple pie life with a beautiful and kind woman like Lisa and a cool and adorable kid like Ben. He'd always considered himself a family man so there was nothing wrong with this picture at all. At least, there wasn't supposed to be one.

Dean had avoided the thoughts of Sam but breaching the topic about family just cracked his resolve to stop thinking. Sammy's been the older Winchester's family ever since Mary and John died and before Bobby and Cas showed up. He knew there will always be something wrong with the picture of him and the Braedens because his little brother wasn't there. Sam was supposed to be always there. Even with the promise he made with the younger Winchester still hanging above his head, he still didn't want to give in; he still wanted his real family back. Something broke inside Dean then, and for the second time that day, he felt shattered and hollowed out, and he was plummeting once again to Hell. The hot tears flowed like a dam and the hunter was grieving too much to care or get embarrassed with Ben and Lisa watching him fall apart. Dean's knees buckled beneath his large frame but before he could fall, his friend was there in a flash, slinging one arm on Castiel's neck and guiding him towards the guest room that Lisa had offered. The Braedens were quiet through the whole affair, retreating to their own rooms and wishing their 'good night's to the pair. Dean was grateful to say the least.

•••

The hunter's limp body hit the mattress gracelessly then curled into a fetal position. Dean never showed anyone his vulnerable self but with Cas, he didn't had to because his angelic friend knew everything inside and out. Castiel didn't approach him or sing him to sleep like the older Winchester previously joked, but he could feel the angel's presence giving out a sort of serenity to his torn and shredded soul. The traitorous tears still spilled and he was shaking all over but he was less hurting.

Dean felt the bed shift from Castiel's weight as the angel sat near him. Two warm fingers pressed down lightly on his forehead and he batted them away weakly. "It won't work, Cas. You said that yourself," he hated the tremble in his voice when he said it.

"I know," Cas replied quietly. "But it doesn't mean I don't have to try."

All of a sudden, the older Winchester felt an unexplainable rage well up inside him. He didn't understand why Castiel's words pissed the hell out of him but his blood boiled and the muscles in his jaw clenched. He shot up on the bed and pierced Cas with an accusing glare. "Then why don't you try springing Sam from the Cage, huh? You're a goddamn angel with bigger wings! God brought you back and you pulled me from Hell, why can't you do the same with my little brother!?" Dean tried to calm his racing heart, his chest heaving. He had to remember this wasn't Cas' fault. It was the two archangels' with the dysfunctional family feud.

And of course Castiel had a very legitimate reason why he couldn't do something like rescue Sam from the Cage right off the bat, but he doubted Dean would appreciate listening to his 'excuses'. He didn't know what else to do except to apologize and maybe knocking out the hunter to sleep.

"Dean, I-"

The Winchester cut him off mid-sentence, "Don't. Don't apologize. I'm just-just having a rough time. I should be saying sorry, really." He sighed, too tired to keep himself propped up and talk about Sam at the same time. Dean felt for a pillow and laid down, his back turned away from the angel. "You staying here and watch me sleep or what? I tell you man, it's creepy."

It was his friend's turn to sigh, "I'll be going back to Heaven sooner than I'd like to but yes, I'll watch over you." Dean didn't like the fact that he wanted the angel to watch over him but after all that happened that day, he was willing to throw propriety and false bravado aside to have someone from his family stay with him. Dean squeezed his eyes shut and muttered, "Why're you doing this for me, Cas?"

Castiel gave the hunter's back a small smile, "Well, as I said, I'm your Guardian Angel and you're my Charge. But more than that, you are my friend, Dean." The first one and the only one, now.

Dean snorted softly. Same here, he thought. "So now what, you're finally gonna give me a proper goodbye?"

They both knew a goodbye was in order but at the same time, they didn't want to. Dean and Castiel both lost a lot of loved ones in the war against the end of the world and they've sacrificed literally everything. They were too attached to each other now, it seemed. Cas was the first one to voice it out. "I will always come when you call." He paused, then, "and I promise, there will be no more nightmares for you."

The Winchester smiled bitterly. "Don't make promises you can't keep, buddy. But it'd be nice for you to show up on a social call or something, just no more of those apocalyptic problems." Like that was possible; you don't choose the hunting life, the hunting life chooses you. Dean heard the mattress creak and Castiel was once again pressing two digits on his head. "Pray to me, Dean. I give miracles on a Thursday, and I hope I'll be able to answer your prayer," the angel whispered to him before the darkness swallowed him whole.

•••

It had been three days after the angel Castiel left Dean Winchester with the Braedens and true to his word, the hunter never had bad dreams. It was probably from the new and improved angel mojo but he could care less, it was a relief. He also prayed to Castiel everyday, talking about mundane things and never asking for anything. Dean didn't know if his angelic friend would appreciate getting interrupted with whatever important job he had to do upstairs, but he never came down and yelled at the hunter so that was reassuring.

Lisa and Ben refused to let him leave after that night and he would've gone and got on the Impala but he didn't had the heart to break his promise with Sam. The loss of his brother was still fresh to claw at but he could feel the entirety of reality sinking in - that he had to live without Sammy and get over it. Dean wanted to go on a bender, drown his grief and anger in alcohol and just break something. He decided against it though. It was unfair to Lisa and to Ben and it was more unfair to his little brother. He had to remember Sammy, sober. Mostly, he worked on Baby if he felt too cooped up in the house; he'd also learned how to cook something edible, courtesy of Lisa. But half of the time, he was moping and staring at the walls of the guest room, sometimes coming out for food if his hunger was too much to ignore. Just the night before, he prayed to Castiel to give him his Sammy back but he was probably half-asleep when he did because Dean couldn't recall what the exact words were. And Cas was yet to make an appearance for that social call he was waiting for. Not that he'd admit he was lonely. Not at all.

A crash of thunder rolled overhead and the pitter-patter of rainfall could be heard inside the house. Lisa was cooking dinner, Ben was busy on the computer and Dean had the living room's couch all to himself. Then a particularly huge lightning struck right in front of the Braedens' home. The flash of electricity was just enough for the hunter to distinguish an all too familiar figure standing by the flickering streetlight. His brain slowly worked out the cogs and knots before rushing out of the door, ignoring the surprised calls of his name inside. The older Winchester felt the adrenaline spike up when he stopped a few feet away from the tall form of his dead brother. Sam, it's Sam, Dean's head repeated over and over.

"Dean?" his little brother asked tentatively. The expression on his face was too real, too genuine, that the hunter had no doubt this was really Sammy. Alive and out of Hell.

He didn't hesitate pulling the taller man down to his level and hugged him tightly. Sam was warm and he could feel his heart beating. His little brother was back. "Oh, Sammy. I can't believe…"

The younger Winchester gave an uncertain laugh, "Yeah, m-me too. The last thing I remember was indescribable pain and then… and then a bright light was yanking me out. "

And that was when it hit Dean. Someone pulled his little brother out and he wasn't afraid to bet that it was a particular nerdy angel who rescued Sam from the Cage. "Pray to me," Cas had said and he did. Dean still couldn't comprehend how loyal his friend was but he knew that Castiel will always be there for him. Like a guardian angel. He fondly shook his head at that thought. Cas was so literal sometimes.

That son of a bitch kept his promise and even answered his prayers. Yeah, Dean owed it to the guy but for now, he was more than happy to have his tall little brother in his arms again. He was going to treat Castiel a lot nicer from now on and maybe even demand for the little bastard to get down on earth for a family reunion.

The hunter slowly extracted himself away from Sam and gave the younger Winchester a shit-eating grin. "It's a miracle, Sammy. Must be Thursday."

Ack! I don't know if I delivered the story well enough, so you guys better tell me what you think! Thanks for reading my loves.