Categories > Anime/Manga > Nightwalker

[SongFic] Let Me Rest in Peace

by Topaz_Kat 1 review

A dialogue/character study of Cain and Shido using lyrics written by

Category: Nightwalker - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst, Drama - Characters: Cain, Shido Tatsuhiko - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-08-27 - Updated: 2006-08-27 - 1212 words - Complete

Title: (Songfic) Let Me Rest in Peace
Author: Topaz Kat
Rating: clean?
Show: NightWalker
Author's note: This song fic is something of a conversation/character study of Shido and Cain. The reason why the verb tenses are odd is due to the concept of the conversation. The first two stanzas and their following paragraphs are Cain, the next are Shido, and the last three are Cain again.
[...] Song lyrics

[I died
So many years ago
And you can make me feel
Like it isn't so
But why you come to be with me
I think I finally know]

Hunting means something different for vampires than it does for humans. For one thing, we don't stalk our prey, we study them. I had been following this one lovely for days, she was soft-spoken and fair. I had thought I had heard everything about her when a new element was brought forward.

Her family's boarder was one of the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen. He was studying medicine, or trying to rather; it was still very much a time of religion rather than a time of science. The way his eyes shone reminded me of the starts that I hunted under so often, thirsting for the greater light of truth and discovery over all others. He hungered in a way I hadn't seen for a very long time, and it showed every time I had a chance to talk with him. His beauty reflected the darkness within my soul, and it was within his eyes that I saw the same desires.

[You're scared
Ashamed of what you feel
And you can't tell the ones you love
You know they couldn't deal
But whisper in a dead man's ear
That doesn't make it real]

Oh my sweet boy, do you remember how you felt when I turned you? You were so afraid, but also in so much need. You knew what it meant when I took you within my arms the first time. The passion for knowledge had driven a wedge between you and your family; splitting you off from those who loved and supported you for so long. And that passion translated so well into other things.

What was it then, I wonder, that made you stray. Did you somehow think that everything that you believed in, everything you hoped to discover meant nothing after a few days? I had warned you, my beloved childe against attempting to return to whom and what you had been: a child lost to the ideals, confusion, and rigidity of the world. You were my childe, a Nightwalker.

[That's great
But I don't want to play
'Cause being with you touches me
More than I can say
And since I'm only dead to you
I'm saying stay away
And let me rest in Peace]

That's just great, I'm a Nightwalker; but that's all I was to you. I don't like these games and I don't want to play them anymore. You'd stated over and over again that I'm your childe, but that's all I am to you. So I couldn't stay, and I wasn't going to. If I had stayed that would mean that I had given up, that I had accepted all that had happened, all that I am. So just let me go.

[Let me rest in Peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in Peace]

You weren't there when I needed you; you weren't there to hear what I heard, to see what I saw. You don't understand and you don't care. Couldn't you see how torn I was, how hurt I still am? With you chasing me as you are, how am I supposed to find peace? The way you've dogged my heels tears at my heart; I don't know who's right.

[You know
You've got a willing slave
And you just love to play the thought
That you might misbehave
Until you do I'm telling you
Stop visiting my grave
And let me rest in Peace]

What makes you think I didn't see what was happening? I noticed almost instantly how coy you played. Where was my Shido, the one I gave my heart? You were playing me as much as you accused me of doing to you. So I let my precious childe go so that you could collect yourself and find out what was hurting you so much.

[I know I should go
But I'll follow you like a man possessed
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
And it hurts me more than you'd ever guess
If my heart could beat it would break my chest
But I can see you're unimpressed
So leave me be
And let me rest in Peace]

It had been after a few months that I couldn't stand letting you go. It was not something that I should have done. You are my childe and you were so torn. Instead of sending you off in anger, I should have followed in concern.

I had been angry with the way you had been acting, and I had every right to be as ticked off as I was. You were being disrespectful, rude, and a real pain (not the kind I enjoy). And damn me to Hell if I didn't go back for you anyways. My childe, my Shido, so lost and scared, you needed me and I could not let you suffer on your own any longer.

So I found you, and your first response was to lash out at me! There was no reason for that, not after I had told you that I was there to make peace; to help you come back to yourself.

With the same expression of lost and need as I had known you to wear, you were telling me to go away; that you knew what you wanted. I am sorry my childe, but you know no more of what you wanted then than you had in the past. I would have helped you to understand, though I could not force you. Your conflicts hurt a great deal, not just to me, but to yourself.

[Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in peace
Why won't you
Let me rest in Peace]

Your continuous rejection of my help, yet showy behavior is really starting to upset me. Do you know how I have longed to simply grab you and pin you under me until you have no choice but to re-channel your passion to where it belongs? My sweet, if I thought that burying my love for you as you have yours for me would help you, I would have done it. As it is, I know that I can not rest until you are back where you belong; your own mind, yours again and my arms around you. It is only then that either of us will know peace: both of the mind, and of the heart.
Sign up to rate and review this story