Categories > Original > Romance > The Girl, The Faun, and the Wardrobe

Granny's House and Alan S.

by Shishmi_rox_ur_sox 2 reviews

Oh goodie, grandma's house. After Finally arriving at her grandmother's house, Suzy and Jessica meet up with Alan S, a helpful had to Granny Bar.

Category: Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Romance - Published: 2006-09-02 - Updated: 2006-09-02 - 2705 words

0Unrated
Suzy, after she had been squeezed quite enough, pulled away from her over eccentric mother, and sort of giggled.
"Uh.. Barb..?"
Suzy asked with a smile on her face, and a serious look in her eyes. The look wasnt quite angry, but it was very questionable.
"Why is the street's name diffrent? Didn't it used to be Maple Avenue?"
Granny Bar's charming smile sort of died away, as her eyes looked wildly around.
Suzanne's face became even more curious as she saw her mother's reaction to her question. What was it for?
Quickly, The previous smile on Granny's face lit up, as she said, "Why, What street sign?"

I dont have to tell you that for Granny Bar, this was definately odd. In no way has Jessica's grandmother ever been so cheery or has acted so weird in her entire life. Something was definately up. Suzanne knew it. And yet, something inside of her felt cheery and diffrent as well. She was.. Excited? Why?
To see her mother?
Hardly the case. In fact, Barbra invited her over the phone. Suzanne never asked to revisit her home again, especially when she moved a couple of states south. And while during this odd phone call, Suzanne surely made up a pitiful exuse. Like,
"Oh, We have some work to do around the house!"
"Work is hectic right now!"
"I have an infection in my toe!"
Regarding the fact that later on, this fantasized infection was oddly known to everyone in their whole family. And often got calls from relatives she had never even met asking about this puss infected toe, when there indeed was none.

Suzanne scoffed at this remarkably stupid comment, "What do you me--"
She tried to finish her sentance, obviously asking why her mother wasnt herself lately, but at that exact moment, a hand took her arm and started pulling her inside the house.
"Wait! Mom! Jessica is in the car, asleep. I cant get her out!"
Suzy pulled her arm away quickly from her reacently odd mother and gave her an evil glare that sort of put her in her place.
Quietly, she rubbed her arm where there was a big red hand print on it, and sighed with even more exasperation. What the hell was she doing? It was possible she was drunk, and took a swig of grandpa's whiskey. But that wasn't right.. Barbra had moral standards. She gave up smoking and drinking a long time ago, but that wasnt an exuse to have a 'sip' right?
"Mom, are you drunk?"
Suzy put her bony hands on her hips and looked at her mother with intense anger. If she was indeed drunk, she would have to take her daughter elsewhere. She hated seeing her mother that way and it would be no good influence for her sleeping daughter.
"Heavens no!" Granny Bar looked at Suzy like she was some deranged lunatic, "You know that I havent dranken that much in years! And to think my only daughter and child.."

That was it. Granny Bar started rambling. Although those ramblings were not as boring and sleep inducing as her daughter's, they were indeed sleep inducing. Now we know where Suzy got her boring talks, and as a child she would indeed be falling to the floor right now, drooling and mumbling about some dream. But, over the years she seemed to develop an immune system for these boring, overrated talks. Probably because she had mastered the art herself.
"Never mind!"
Suzy blurted out, and stopped Granny Bar in her tracks abruptly, and quite the contrary, shocked her immensley.
"How are we going to get her out? You arent in the shape.. And I.. Well, I'm not either."
It was hard to carry a fifteen year old girl out of a car. They needed someone with brute strength. But alas, there were no neighbors around. This was quite the isolated household. Any more isolated, and they would probably be living as mountian men and trap beavers for a living.
Im not saying they haven't tried it either.

"Ah, yes. This was the point I was trying to get at." Granny Bar looked at Suzy like she was the idiotic one in the group. "Ever since your father hasnt been doing well, and I.. Well, Lets face it honey, everyone gets older."
Suzy rolled her eyes at her mother's comment, "I Saw this ad at the local market when I was picking up some lemons for my famous lemon merangue pie, Don you just love it? My frothy layer of cream? Of course I cant eat it, an old woman has to watch her cholesterol you know. But I did Give it to the neighbors. You know Isabel? The little girl I talked about over the phone? Well, I went to her house and--"
Suzy was about to smack the old lady out of her.
"Mom, back to the point?" Her arms crossed over her chest lightly. If she was any more aggrivated, she would start tapping her foot and scolding her like a mother would a child. But unfortunately, with her mother, it was the other way around.
"Oh! Yes. The Add."
Granny Bar whipped around and started heading twords the kitchen and started what is sounded like, placing an atom bomb, and carefully detonating it. Except the atom bomb was made of a few pots and pans. The kitchen was made up of a yellow country style wallpaper. It actually wasnt a bad decoration for a grandmother's house, the wallpaper had little light orange stripes coming up to the white ceiling. Unfortunately, in the corners of the house, the wallpaper was a little shredded by a hole in the wall that was big enough to house a family of mice and maybe a little less. A dark green Refridegerator was placed beside the hole, with one look, you would think that they have had that refridgerator since the seventies.
And you would undoubtedly be right. That refridgerator was not the pride of the family, in fact quite the opposite. Granny Bar And Bill (Jesica's Grandfather) had kept that refrigerator in their garage for the longest time. Some would call this old couple a pair of pack rats. Granny Bar had many Antiques in her home, dating from the 1800's. Obviously, if you havent guessed, they were highly valuable in price and some even priceless. This family has so many heirlooms that you could fill a whole warehouse of these goods. So, as their new, hip and highly expensive refidgerator broke down (Which took a long phone call to inform Suzanne of this information) they had to use their old whirlpool fridge that had been sitting in their garage for centuries.

"Ah, yes. Dear, here we go." Granny waddled her way out of the kitchen, with a smile over her face and a peice of blue rimmed paper in her chunky, sausaged hand. Her fatty fingers quickly opened the peice of parchment. Her brow frumpled, struggling to read it with her old eyes. She started swaying the paper back and forth, trying to read whatever was on the sheet of paper.

"Just give it to me!"

Suzanne ripped the peice of paper out of her mother's hands and looked at it. It was obviously a buisness add, with a picture of a man introducing the paper. The man had dirty blonde hair that was sort of short and ragged, going everywhere. He had beautiful blue eyes, and quite the rugged Jaw. But resting in the middle of this unique jaw, was indeed the biggest butt chin you have ever layed eyes on. It was so big, you would wonder if he had a birth defect, placing his ass on his chin, and god knows what on his rear end. His arm muscles bulged, as he was flexing wildly and had a purple spandex tank top on with a matching speedo.
It read:

" Alan S's Amazing House Work for the Old and Retired!

Are you old and decrepid? Do you hate picking up the house with your aching bones? And are you sick of Just cleaning up in general, while leaving your husband Bill to sit on his butt and watch golf? Then Call Alan S for his amazing house work! He will do the Laundry, Clean windows, scrub toilets, anything you like for only 99.99$ a day! (carrying 15 year old little girls included) "

Suzanne looked at this paper with her eyebrows up. How in the world would this ad be so specific? It was like it was made just for Barbra! Carrying little girls included? What is this?
"Mom, I think this is a little odd.. Shouldnt you-"
"Nonsense!"
Granny Bar cut in again with a smile on her face. "Anyways, who wouldnt take him in? He's such a hunk!" Grandma whispered to her bewildered daughter and nudged her a bit, while still holding the peice of paper.

"Alllaaann!!"
Her mother shreiked so loud, it echoed even louder than when it came out of her mouth. Suzanne dropped the ad on a coffee table, and winced at her mother's scream, Quickly turning off her tan and grey hearing aids.
Soon, the floor started shaking like the whole house was about to erupt. Barbra who was standing there cheery and thrilled, took a ten dollar bill out of her pocket. Suzanne looked wildly at her grandmother, thats it! Her mother was a deranged lunatic! But before Suzanne could get out of the house and speed off in her Red Mazda 6, out from the hall, connecting to two bedrooms and a bathroom, came a huge man. He certianly wasnt a giant of course, but one more foot, he could definately pass as one.
"You called?"
A gentle voice came out of the big mass that walked out of the master bedroom. It was the same man in the ad. Although you would think this guy had an insanely gruff voice, he didnt. Actually, when he stopped walking forward and those two words came out of his mouth, it was very calming. Which was highly unlikely considering he looked like an Olympic Gold Medalist in body building.

"Ah, Yes. Alan S, I would like you to meet my daughter Suzanne." Granny Bar put the palm of her hand on Her Daughter's shoulder. Suzy had actually quite the suprised face on. Her mouth almost dropped, has her mother gone insane? This isnt the same woman that she had known all her life. It was like she just left and kept an eccentric, more bubbily version of her behind.
"Charmed." That was the only word she could make out, as Alan spoke again.
"Dont worry, Barbra. I know what to do." His voice rang out comfortably and ran outside, leaving the house shaking as his feet pushed off the ground.
"Isn't he a sweetie?" Barbra sighed and put the ten dollar bill she had in her hand, back into her pocket.
"You know, it says on the ad that it takes so much money to afford him, but really, he doesnt take any money. Its like he likes doing these things for me and benifits by seeing a smile on my face." Granny Bar sighed and turned to the door which had the sun's orange light omitting from it like it was walking through a door to get to heaven. Suzy followed her grandmother with a puzzled face.

Now, Usually, if a giant man were about to carry your sleeping daughter out of a car that you barely even knew about and had only known he existed at that moment in time, you would be worried and probably would take out a can of mace. But Suzy wasn't. For some odd reason, that man felt like home. He didnt have any threatning charactoristics to him, whatsoever. It was like he had never mad any faults in life, no mistakes, and never worried about anything. Odd, I know, but painfully true and strangely familiar.

Jessica's mother watched out of the door as the man picked up her daughter carefully, and gently. Jessica's legs from the knees and down fell over his left arm, and her head placed on his right. It was like he was holding a baby in his arms. His blue eyes were placed gently on the sleeping girl, and stopped for a moment.

"Hello, Jessica."
He whispered quietly as he brushed some of her brown hair away from her sleeping eyes. A gentle smile crept across his face, as if he had known her all along. Suzy looked in estrangement at this man. He was handling her as if he was her father, she even felt he was her father. But we all know thats absolutely impossible because she had known for a fact that she wasnt his. But still, the feeling was there. The cheeriness that was in this house grew from the moment she saw him. And no, she wasnt in love with him. But she did love him from first sight as a father figure.

Quetly, still in Alan's arms, Jessica's lids slowly opened from her deep sleep to find herself in the arms of this genuanly gentle man. How long had she been sleeping? Where was her mom? And why was he holding her? Sort of afraid, she found herself carried back into her grandmother's house with her mother by her side.
"Jessica, you're awake." Suzy said with a smile, and yet with a sort of weird and worried look in her eyes as she was set down on the dark brown and multi-colored couch. She looked around oddly, because everyone was staring at her. Other than her grandfather who had been asleep on the reclining chair the whole time, with a can of beer in his hand and an old fashioned telly in front of him.

Jessica yawned sleepily, and rubbed her eyes. "Hey Granny Bar. Sorry I fell asleep." She turned to the blonde haired buff man in front of her and looked at him strangely, "Who are you?" She asked with immense question.
"Jessie, this is Alan S. Alan S, this is Jessie!" Jessica's lips frumpled. She hated it when anyone called her Jessie. It made her sound like some dumb valley girl with a pony tail, and a white tank top reading in sparkly letters,'Sexy Thang' or 'Boy Toy'.
"Hello, Jessica. I am Alan S." The giant stuck out his large hand for a handshake, which dutifully got shaken after a while of thought.
"Now that we are all better acquanted, dinner anyone?" Barbra looked at her three guests with a smile and hopped tword the kitchen like an elk during springtime.
"Really, I must go. My shift is over." Alan S oddly bowed to the three of them and gave a huge hug to grandma "Aw, Alan, wont you please stay for dinner? I'm making steak and peach cobbler pie!" Barbra looked at the man persuadingly as he kept walking out the door. "I am sorry Barbra, that sounds very delicious, but I must go."

"But Alan!--"
Granny Bar rushed to the porch to try and persuade him some more to stay. She was obviously very attracted to him in some way. Probably because of his large pecs, one would think. But Suzy wondered oddly if it was his voice, his calmness. His Father figure. Because certiantly, Suzy did not have a very good father figure in her life. But no, Thats impossible. She knew for a fact that Granny Bar was not aware of Her Grandfather's awful actions.

Granny Bar ran to the porch only to find herself calling out to no one. Alan S, was gone already. "ALLAAANN!!" She yelled with confusion. He couldnt possibly have gone away that fast. Especially if there was the exruciatingly lovely to the taste, peach cobbler pie waiting for him.
Granny was quite the pie baker. Her specialty was cooking any kind of sweets imaginable. She really was a great grandmother when it came to knitting, cooking, and sending gifts every holiday.

"So, did you persuade Alan to stay?" Suzy asked while placing down the delicious food that Granny bar had cooked before. "No. He's gone. He just dissapered."
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