FicWad

Chapter 6: Independence

Today was the big day. My triumphant return to the hospital. So what if it was only forty-eight hours since I had left? I wanted to impress Jim with my newfound skills and worldly ways. Ok, I was a snappier dresser and could make a peanut butter sandwich. The point was, I had left and was returning, but got to go home when I was finished with my session at lunchtime.

I got out of bed and got going on my morning routine humming a little tune. I was in the bathroom when Gracia knocked on the door. She laughed and said, "Your meds are on the bedside table. Jean, I'm surprised, I didn't think you were a morning person."

I called back to her and attempted my best Mustang impression, "Didn't you know? Today is my triumphant return to rehabilitation. The nurses at the hospital will soon ALL be wearing TINY MINISKIRTS! It's a wonderful day to be Jean Havoc. The sun is shining, the cashmere is soft and my minion of cuteness Elysia will follow me anywhere!"

I could almost feel the glare coming through the bathroom door for my sass. "Gracia, seriously, I'm in a great mood. You should see my swagger. I think I have the Mustang impression down, don't you? I may even go to H.Q. to show the Boss. Sciezka told me that he was in town. I'm sure he'd get a charge out of it."

I'd finished dressing by then, left the bathroom and Gracia had made the bed and was sitting at the foot of it. I could tell she was worried about something.

"Jean, if you think you are ready to go, then I think it would be a wonderful thing for you to do. I'm sure everyone is still worried about you and you are so much better than when some people visited you. But do you think you are ready? It will have changed. I don't want to put a damper on your plans, but I don't want you to get hurt either."

I took a big breath, bit the inside of my cheek and thought about it and finally said, "I know it's changed, I've changed... nothing is the same anymore. That's why I need to see it for myself. Don't worry; there are phones everywhere and if I need to get picked up I'll call. Mustang probably already knows I'm coming because I thought about it."

Gracia still had the look of concern on her face, but chose to stay silent.

"If I don't hurry up I'm going to be late, what's for breakfast?" I said, trying to change the subject.

Shortly after finishing my breakfast a van arrived from the hospital and that was another new experience. An orderly came to the door and knocked, I answered and then he looked for push handles and didn't find any. I knew what he was up to and maneuvered out of his way as quickly as I could.

"I'll get that myself," I said coldly and opened the door.

The sight before me was the biggest, most conspicuous looking vehicle I had ever seen and there was a lift, lowered and ready for 'helpless' me. I would definitely be arranging for the driver to take me to the hospital tomorrow.

I went down the walk to the van, and the orderly loaded me in like cargo. This experience would never be repeated if I could avoid it.

Gracia was standing at the door like a concerned mother sending her child off to school for the first time.

Before the "Van of Un-Cool's" door shut I shouted, "Gracia, I'll get to H.Q. by myself after my session with Jim. It's just a block away and I will not be arriving at H.Q. in this thing. I'll call when I need a ride home."

I waved as the driver pulled out of sight of the house. What did I need an orderly for? Was he my babysitter or something? I'd definitely have to talk this over with Jim.

*

The van arrived at the hospital and the lift lowered me to the sidewalk so I could get in under my own power.

The orderly again tried to push me and I craned my neck around so I could look at him, glared at him and said, "Do you see push handles on this chair? There aren't any because I don't need to be pushed. I also know how to find the Therapy Department, so if it's ok by you I am going to be on my way."

The orderly put his hands up in surrender and I knew I'd overdone it.

"Sorry to be such an asshole, but I'm sick of people trying to help me when I don't ask for it and ignoring me when I need help. I'm guessing that you have to escort me to therapy?"

He nodded yes and I sighed and said, "At least make yourself useful, we're early and I'm dying for a cigarette and a cup of coffee. We have time to hit up the cafeteria, but if I want to bring it down to the gym, I'll need you to carry it for me. We'll get one for Jim too. I owe you one if you want one."

He laughed and said, "You're pretty ok Jean, let's get going... I know a spot where we can hide from the nurses and smoke."

*

We arrived at the therapy gym with just enough time for me to finish my coffee and hand Jim his. Jim smirked at my "resourcefulness" and looked me up and down.

I pretended to preen and said, "New man, eh? Gracia picked them out. Feel the sweater it's cashmere. She's evil it's addictive stuff. I'm a sensation junkie or something since the accident."

Jim touched the offered sleeve and nodded his approval and pulled up a chair next to me. Besides being a physical therapist, one of Jim's purposes was to talk me through things. I supposed it was going to be one of those talks.

"Jean, what you're experiencing isn't uncommon. Since part of your body is deprived of sensation you are either consciously or unconsciously craving sensory stimulation. This is a good thing when it comes to pleasant experiences. List some of your favorites so far, so we can sort out some of your sensitivities."

That had to be the weirdest request he'd ever given me.

"Jim, you are weird, but here goes: my morning shower, the sheets at Gracia's house; they're so much softer than the military issue I'd snuck out of the barracks to use at the bachelor pad, and other stuff like smells and tastes. I think that's just because everything in the hospital is just not as good as Gracia's."

Jim had been nodding at each favorite I'd listed and then asked, "Have you noticed that some sensations bother you more than they normally would have?"

"Again with the weird questions Jim, are you going to ask me my sign next? My old sweaters are all itchy and uncomfortable and I've figured out that sitting on my wallet is a bad idea and causes spasms. Hence the cargo pants today, sharp eh?"

I unbuttoned my pocket to show off my ingenuity. I had put my wallet and keys in one of the calf pockets so I had easy access to my stuff, but wouldn't be sitting on it.

Jim smiled and said; "You have learned your lesson for the day Jean. Over-stimulation is unpleasant, and even the things you cannot feel affect you. Remember the things that bother the parts you can feel, bother the parts you can't feel. Now, let's get to your work out."

Before he got up I crossed my arms and said, "Jim, between you and Gracia you are turning me into a total wuss... talking about my feelings, wearing soft stuff, caring about what I wear? I think that you are in cahoots with Mustang to keep me from ever dating again. I'm kidding, except for that Mustang conspiracy theory thing."

We went over to the mat area and I showed off my chair to floor transfer and Jim started with my range of motion stretches. That was the easy part. By mid-session I was dying and was glad that I'd worn a t-shirt under my sweater so I wouldn't appear too mussed at H.Q. We finished up with more stretches so I wouldn't knot up after my workout and I was sent on my way... no orderly.

I went to the restroom to take care of business because I did not want to embarrass myself at H.Q. and I needed to make sure I looked presentable. Assured that I looked as good as I was going to get, I left the hospital and made my way over to H.Q.

Outside the main gate was a hotdog vendor and I decided that I was thirsty. I got a drink and balanced the cup between my knees and then went up to the side entrance that I knew I could get into. The guard stopped me as I grabbed the door and attempted to enter.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" he said. "You need clearance to get into Military Headquarters."

"I have I.D., here let me get it," I said.

I pulled out my wallet, showed him my I.D. and he went to the guard station to make some calls to see if it was authentic.

"Mr. Havoc, you aren't on the guest list. I can't let you in," he said.

Daunted, but not stopped I went around to the front guard tower where I thought I might know someone on duty. No luck there, no familiar faces. While I sat thinking what I was going to do next the guard came over, put some change in the cup between my knees and said, "I'm sorry mister, if you don't have military business you are going to have to leave."

I nearly lost it.

Sitting up as tall as I could I barked at him, "Call Colonel Roy Mustang right now and if he's not in call Fuhrer King Bradley's office then get me First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. I may be retired but THAT IS AN ORDER."

"I, I, can't do that!" the guard who was obviously still wet behind the ears said, obviously shaken.

At that moment Fullmetal was coming down the steps of the main entrance. He must have seen what was going on.

"Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, Sir!" he saluted and stood crisply at attention.

I looked at him a little bit confused and then figured out what he was doing and decided to play along.

"Private, at ease," I said and tried to keep from laughing.

The guard sputtered barely intelligible apologies and promptly let me through security with a visitor's pass and "the private" as my escort.

As we left the guard station we kept a serious tone and pretended to talk business until we turned the corner to the side entrance and then burst into raucous laughter.

*

"Ed, you just saved me a lot of embarrassment back there. Before you came along he put money in my drink. He thought I was panhandling. I could have killed him. I should have..." I said.

Edward thought and said, "I saw that, and I thought about doing him some physical harm, but then I thought it might be more fun to fuck with him a little bit. But a private?"

"I know, I know, but Boss, you outrank me. I had to think on my feet. Ed, you were brilliant. Speaking of my drink, I was thirsty after P.T. and now it's obviously ruined. Where were you on your way to?"

"The Mess of course, it's Thursday, noodles with meat sauce day," he said with a smile.

"Mind if I come along?" I asked, hoping that I wouldn't have to roam H.Q. by myself after the first debacle.

"That would be great, I've just got to stop at the dorms and pick up Winry and Alphonse first."

We arrived at Ed's dorm room and when I entered the room I was nearly knocked over by Winry's hug. Al greeted me warmly as well and it felt good to see them all again.

After asking about how I was and how therapy was going, the next thing that Winry was interested in was the performance of the wonder chair. I couldn't blame her, and knew I'd better not wreck it or I'd be on the receiving end of a wrench like Ed. I gave her a glowing review and thanked her again because I would not have been doing as many things as I had been if I'd been using the Tank. Just maneuvering around Gracia's would have been exhausting.

To further illustrate my satisfaction with Winry's creation I popped a wheelie to prove that she had indeed created a feat of engineering.

"I know you're impressed," I said with a smirk "I am not the macho genius who came up with this stunt though. Thank Jim, I just learned it this morning and he says that it would be impossible to do without this chair. It's not just flashy... with practice I'll be able to use it to hop a step if there's only one or two, and to get onto the sidewalk if there isn't a ramp. This, you, this is going to change lives." I gushed.

Winry put me in a bear hug again and Edward whined, "C'mon guys I am HUNGRY and it is noodles with meat sauce day!"

Saved from Winry's death grip by Ed's stomach, we headed down to the Mess.

*