Categories > Books > Harry Potter > What Now, Severus?

Shopping With Wizards

by Emilie_D 3 reviews

Professor Snape shops for a new wardrobe.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Romance - Characters: Snape - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-09-07 - Updated: 2006-09-07 - 2754 words - Complete

2Exciting
Zelda decided they would walk to the stores. It was a lovely afternoon, the neighborhood was quiet and secretly she wanted to test Severus's stamina without making him aware that she was doing it. Stuffing some bills and a credit card into a tiny, silky purse, she said to Severus, "I'll get you some sunglasses, my boy. No need to give yourself a headache again." She went to the garage and found the old wraparound glasses he had worn during the trip from the woods. When he put them on, he immediately looked like a stranger to her. They stepped out the front door and waited as she locked it.

Severus was startled when Zelda put on a pair of wire-rimmed sunglasses with bright red lenses that matched the color of her dress. She looked absurdly frivolous to him, yet it somehow made his mood lighten immediately. He reached out impulsively and pulled her into his arms for a kiss. She was smiling as she led the two wizards down the shady street to the shops.

After giving Harry another mischievous look, she turned to Severus, and said, "Sev, if you had your choice of Mugglewear, what would it be?"

Harry was convulsing with silent laughter, picturing Professor Snape in his billowing black robes. Zelda had not the faintest idea what her 'dear boy' normally looked like! He then realized that Snape was watching him, his mouth twitching in a manner that looked almost more like laughter than a sneer, and he found the idea of Snape being able to laugh at himself more than a little shocking.

"I have no idea, my girl. I never thought about it," Severus replied. "Does it matter?"

"I see the way you look at Elijah's rejects, and you may end up wearing what we buy today longer than you think," she said, "So yes, it matters. But I think you've solved my dilemma regarding where to shop," said Zelda.

They walked several blocks, and Harry compared this neighbourhood with Little Whinging, where he grew up. This place seemed relaxed and friendly, a mix of different styled small houses, and not a perfect lawn anywhere. The gardens were riotous with flowers and untrimmed shrubs. Zelda and Snape walked close together, once he saw them holding hands. Harry was amazed at how cool Zelda was for Snape; he seemed quite human with her. He wondered now how the guy would go back... leaving this nice woman who loved him to return to a world where everyone hated him. And now, after Dumbledore, they'd want to kill him... or put him in Azkaban. Before he'd come here, Harry thought, he figured Snape was a Death Eater, who'd fit right in with those psychos. Now, he felt kind of sad that Snape would have to leave Zelda and go back to Voldemort. It was really confusing.

"Oh curse it!' Zelda muttered, as a burly man with two greyhounds on leads, walked out of a house, straight toward them, with a cheery smile on his face. "Hey, Michael!" she called pleasantly. "Back on nights again?"

"Girlfriend! I'm back on the night shift, but I thought you'd be gone for a week," Michael responded, kissing her cheek and eyeing her companions curiously.

"Yeah, I know," she smiled happily. "But my nephew, Harry's here from London with his teacher. Harry's one of those boy geniuses, you know. They're presenting their, er... chemistry research, in Chicago next week, but when Harry called, I insisted they come to see me for a few days."

"I thought you didn't have any sisters," said Michael, a question in his voice.

"His mom's my cousin, but nephew is easier than saying the "cousin, once removed" stuff, so he's my nephew," Zelda replied, without missing a beat. "Suzy got the brains in the family, went to London on a Fulbright, and settled there." She leaned down to pet the whimpering dogs as they lunged ecstatically toward her. "The girls look lovely, Michael," she said. "Lola's looking much better, isn't she?"

Michael beamed at her, then turned to Severus and Harry, standing stiffly a bit behind her, held out his hand and said "I'm Michael, Zelda's good buddy. Nice to meet you, Zelda's nephew. I don't see much family resemblance now, do I?"

"I er... look like my dad," Harry said nervously. "Nice to meet you, Michael."

Michael turned to Severus next, saying "and you are...?"

Harry and Zelda watched, fascinated, as Severus shook hands and said, "Severus. Pleased to meet you, Michael."

Michael eyed him closely. "You're wearing Elijah's shirt, man. Did the airline lose your luggage or something?"

Zelda hastily interrupted the questioning. "They say they it'll be delivered tomorrow, Michael, but we're going shopping so Severus can get a few things, in case the airline is wrong... again," she explained. "We should get going though. See you later." She put her arm around her 'nephew's' waist and began walking.

Michael stopped them saying, "Hey, Zelda. It's Karaoke at the Blue Moon tonight, you guys should come!"

"Michael, they're jet lagging, I don't think it's a good idea," Zelda said hastily.

"C'mon, Zel," Michael said plaintively, "We haven't seen you in ages, darlin'... Nine o'clock, be there!"

"Maybe if there's time we'll stop in," Zelda smiled, before muttering under her breath; "when hell freezes over." She started walking again, and said sweetly, "We really have to go, Michael. Kiss kiss, babe... see ya later!"

Severus looked amused, and said, "Slow down, my girl, he is watching us. It is not a race."

Zelda snorted. "If he decides to walk along with us, we'll never get rid of him, and he's the nosiest guy ever. Besides," she explained, "I didn't care for the way he was looking at you, Sev, so I'm doing you a favor. Keep moving!"

Harry, still walking close to Zelda, with her arm around him, put his arm around her shoulders and said in a low voice, "How was Michael looking at him, Zelda?"

She grinned evilly, looking past him to Severus, and said, "Harry, Michael's gay. He's fifty-one years old, and he'd be delighted to tell you in appalling detail, why a good man's hard to find." She added, "Severus's younger enough, and hot enough, to make Michael notice."

Harry's eyes widened, and he resolved not to say another word. As they turned a corner, Zelda moved to walk between them, and looked up at Severus with a gleam in her eye. "Is it all right if we skip the Blue Moon tonight, Sev?"

"Fine". Severus said, though he was looking aghast. "Whatever 'Karaoke' is, I have no plans to share it with that...er, Michael person. How much further are we going?"

"Right up here," Zelda said, leading them to a huge and battered old storefront which was labeled; "The Bargain Village." "I think they'll have exactly what you want."

"Ah... yes, I'm sure you're right, my girl," he said, doubtfully, as they pulled open the broken, automatic door.

A wave of musty air assailed their senses as they entered. Harry and Severus glanced nervously at each other. "It smells like Knockturn Alley," Harry snickered, as Zelda led them to a vast section labeled "Better Menswear."

"Shut up, nephew," Zelda said, smartly. "For your information, this place is the secret to my fashion success. You never know what you'll find," adding, "I guarantee that you'd hate Wal-Mart far worse than this." She smiled benevolently at Severus and said, "I'd try a thirty waist in pants, and make sure they're long enough. There's no place to try things on, so make your best guess, and put everything into this cart. I'll be over there for a bit. Have fun!" She sped away from them, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

"You should cultivate a poker face, Potter," Severus said icily, at Harry's amusement. "Do not say a word to me... or if I ever get my wand back, I will hex you into a pulp."

"I was just leaving, Sir," Harry said over his shoulder, already moving away, unable to control the smirk on his face.

When Zelda finally returned to him, Severus displayed his finds nervously. Zelda hugged him and said, "There's definitely a theme here." There were two pairs of black jeans, boot cut, one just like new. He also had two black t-shirts, one of them with a "Nine Inch Nails" logo printed on it, the other plain. Two more shirts - both black, with long-sleeves, completed the collection. She held the jeans up to his waist, checking to make sure they'd fit, and said, "Sorry Sev, but once a mother... yes, these should do." Her hands lingered a moment and they gazed at each other. "I adore you," she said in his mind. "Let's finish this and go home."

"Doesn't this tire you?" he responded, mind-to-mind. "You looked exhausted after your impromptu Occlumency lesson with Potter."

She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then smiled brilliantly at him. "When we're together like this, I feel better than ever. Touching your mind's the most wonderful, comforting sensation I've ever known."

He took in the meaning of her words, feeling breathless with the significance of this moment. He had thought it was only his need that made it so meaningful for him, but...

They stepped apart when Harry walked up to them, embarrassed. Zelda recovered first, saying, "Did you find shoes, Sev?" She rummaged in the cart, and found them... then turned to them, smiling delightedly at her discovery. "Biker boots, Sev! Fabulous!" She giggled, "These are usually impossible to find here, and they're in great shape too. Do they actually fit?"

He nodded, not quite understanding why she found his choice so amusing, but finding her delight ridiculously pleasing. She reached into her cart, saying, "I thought of you immediately when I saw this, if you'd like it." She held up a dusty black motorcycle jacket, with assorted buckles and zippers, something like Severus had seen Sirius Black wear long ago. She said, "Will you try it on?"

He nodded, slipping it on over the ridiculous green shirt. It fit well, he found, and he immediately felt better, as if the heavy leather protected him. His appreciation was not lost on Zelda.

Harry's eyes grew wide in admiration. "Did they have another one?" he asked hopefully.

"Sorry, Harry. You realize this stuff is all used, don't you?" Zelda said, "There's never the same thing twice here, and it's all going to be washed when we get back to the house," she replied. "We have one more stop to make, though."

She paid for their purchases, smirking as she examined the receipt, and led them two blocks farther to a huge building labeled, 'Target.' As they entered the store, a riot of colors caused Severus to begin another headache. Zelda got a large red shopping cart and they headed for the back of the store. She pointed out the menswear department in passing, and he was appalled at the blaze of brilliant, rainbow-hued clothing. He could never have found anything to wear here, he thought dismally. She pointed to a long rack, saying, "Used underwear and socks are disgusting, dear boy, so choose what you need from here and meet us down at the end of this aisle."

When Severus found them, Harry and Zelda were holding some sort of plastic discs, with wires attached to a display case. They were laughing, engrossed in a strange ritual. A small screen showed poisonously colored little creatures racing around, kicking and hitting each other. He watched them play, noticing with a twinge of jealousy how comfortable they were with each other. "Nooooo!" Harry howled, laughing, "Not again!"

"Harry, you're not letting me win at this, are you?" Zelda asked, suspiciously. "I'm the worst at video games, you must be trying to build my self-esteem, right?"

Harry laughed at her. "My cousin Dudley has all these games, but I almost never got to play them," he said, "I had to sneak into his room when no one was home, and it wasn't much fun to play alone, so I hardly ever bothered."

Oh, Harry. They treated you horribly," Zelda asked. "How long have you lived with them?"

"I was about one and a half when it happened," said Harry, carefully. "I really can't remember my parents at all, except during third year, when Dementors came near me, I got weak and faint, and I could hear my mother's voice... begging Voldemort not to kill me." His voice grew stronger and he continued, acting determinedly cheerful, "Hagrid gave me an album with photos of them, though, so I know what they looked like."

Severus decided it was time to intervene. There were two small boys waiting to use the game, after all. Stepping up behind them, he put his hand on Zelda's shoulder and gently pulled her away from the game display. "What on earth are you doing?" he demanded.

Zelda's eyes looked a bit teary, but she rallied, and said; "It's a sad thing when one's youngest child grows up. I don't have Elijah to indulge me by playing stupid games with me, so I took advantage of Harry's good nature." She glanced at Harry, and to give him a moment to recover, she looked enquiringly at Severus and said, "Dare I ask the age old question, dear boy? Boxers or briefs?"

He was speechless, not knowing what answer to give... but Harry chuckled. Zelda smiled, having gotten the reaction she hoped for, Severus realized.

She took the packages he was holding, saying outrageously, "You don't have to tell me now, I'll find out later, won't I?"

Harry choked, trying desperately not to howl with laughter, and wished fervently that Ron could have shared this moment.

"Is there a reason we are loitering here?" Severus asked, secretly pleased that Zelda's tears had been averted. "We should leave before Zelda meets any more old friends to trap us here."

As he spoke, two women rounded the corner, with two little girls in tow. They were talking and laughing. One broke off in mid-sentence and said cheerily, "It's Zelda! Hi Zel!" The girls ran up to Zelda, one saying, "Hi, Ms Larsson," and a round of hugs ensued, followed by eager conversation. Severus glared at Harry, who looked back at him and with a twitch of the head, signaled him over to a display, saying, "Hold this game controller, Professor, and pretend you know how to play. Maybe we won't have to talk to them."

"Turn it on, Potter," Severus hissed at him, "so it looks real. How do you make the creatures move?"

"I don't know, give me a minute..." Harry responded, irritably. "I've never played Mega Mutilation Melee before. Okay...I've got it. First you choose a mutant, and type your name in. Yeah, like that... Now, this one goes up and down, and the red lever moves you forward and backward. The blue one makes you kick or hit... Oh! Here's how you collect bonus points..."

Fifteen minutes later, Zelda had managed to escape from the chattering group, and she looked around for her escaped companions. When she discovered them, she needed to duck back around the corner, where she laughed until she cried. Wiping her eyes, she crept slowly back toward them, listening ecstatically as they discussed the game.

"Not again, Potter!" Severus snarled. "I want to play a different mutant creature. Yours is faster!"

"Well, yours is supposed to be the strongest," retorted Harry indignantly. "I can't help it if you keep forgetting to collect enough energy points to power him up!"

"Shall I play the winner?" Zelda queried brightly, standing close behind them. "I'll tell you a secret, the Mutant Princess Xenobia is actually the best character, but most boys are too insecure to play the girl, so they never find out about her."

Severus turned to her, a flush rising on his thin cheeks. "Finally!" he said sourly, "Can we get out of here now? Or do you wish to look for more acquaintances to chatter with?"

"We're leaving immediately," she answered haughtily, "but you'd better behave Sev, or we'll walk by Michael's house again, and he'll definitely invite us in for a drink." She laughed at his wordless scowl and took him fondly by his arm. She steered him firmly towards the checkout lane, whilst Harry followed, wondering if it was possible that Zelda had worked with dragons in a past life.
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