FicWad

It was after dark already when Spike had come to Giles
house and now Buffy skipped her date with Riley without
even thinking to call him to check up some dead body to
be buried tomorrow. It wasn't as if she had not done it
before - but it never was one of them. Her best friend.
Well, her best male friend who was no boyfriend.
But who would have given up anything to get her into
bed. Buffy wondered why the idea of her and Xander was
such a novel way to her NOW that he was dead.
Not that he didn't want to be her friend, she knew. She
never had believed how big his crush on her had been.
Buffy felt awkward as she saw his still and breathless
corpse lie inside of the cheap wooden crate the city had
bought him. Something inside her told him he should have
gotten something better - he should have gotten a lot of
things, like them all.
Even Riley and his Initiatice buddies, black ops as they
might be, got official recognition and compensation. Not
for him, obviously.
Dying like he did...it was horrible. Noone had given a
shit about him rotting in plain sight - and all she had
thought about was to get into her hot date with Riley
Finn and dance...oh good lord. She felt miserable now.
It was so not fair. He shouldn't even be dead, he
should laugh at her and grin and meet her at the Bronze,
make nasty snide comments or jokes and talk about how
his new job was another waste of time.
Buffy was not sure what she felt as she looked down on
her friend, but she heard Willow cry. Giles was silent
and showed no emotion at all except concern for them.
And Spike...well, whatever, he probably felt hilarious!
Was at his demonic happiest at their misery.
Buffy thought about punching him out when she felt her
spider-sense tingle and the next moment Drucilla in a
white gown came into the hall where they kept the soon
to be buried types. And beside her was the VampHarmony
and about half a dozen minions.
"Uh oh, troubles," Spike chuckled as Buffy ripped out
her stake and went to fight them. She dusted two of
the minions by throwing her stakes and taking out
another before she began to trade blows with Drucilla.
She was not about to underestimate the insane vampiress
and end up with a slit throat like Kendra!
She barely noticed how Willow scared of two vampires
with a cross and how Spike kept protecting only himself
while keeping out of the fight for the most. And Giles
was somewhere she couldn't even determine.
Buffy punched Dru in the face before going down and
toppling her with a swirl of her legs, then she threw
herself around and was about to stake Drucilla. And
froze in the motion, with the stake on her breasts
and her insane smile in her sights.
It was a familiar voice that stopped her - spoken by
a familiar face showing some new and not exactly
endearing ridges. VampXander had gotten out of his
casket. He was...calling her name, touching his face.
The tone in his voice as he called out for her made her
heart nearly rip apart.
It was her fault that he was like that.
HER fault, she should have prevented it.
Protected him.
The next instant Dru had slipped away and Buffy fought
for dear life, she rolled away from the insane vampiress
and kicked out and got up on her feet again. Staking a
minion who thought she was an easy pick in the process
and enjoying the shreak, the adrenaline rush. Enjoying
it way to much.
She took a fighting stance where she held her stake at
the ready and glared at her opponents. The remaining
three. And then two, one short throw of her stake in
the back of a vamp struggling to get at Giles.
She did not attack as she saw VampHarmony hold Willow
in a deathgrip - her claws at the redheads jugular.
A clear threat.
And then Drucilla smiled and gloated that they would
leave now with her new kitten, otherwise Willow was
about to bleed to death.

"Let her go, Dru," Spike said, holding a stake to the
still puzzled Xander who hadn't yet managed to fully
climb out of his casket. He was holding his jaws
because Spike had punched him back. "For old times
sake, luv. Okay?"

Drucilla agreed slowly, as Harmony and her hostage
moved to the open door. While they moved Buffy took
in the sight of the VampHarmony and the scared Willow.
Oh Wills, what have you done wrong now? the blonde
wondered.
Buffy watched in amazement as Spike withdrew his stake
and Xander hurried to get away right before Harmony
threw Willow to the ground and then they ran for it.
They ran up to the point where a crossbow sang and she
saw a wooden arrow hit Drucilla squarely in the back
before she dusted. The blonde Slayer turned around to
see her Watcher with a hard and hating glance. Behind
him Spike cried out and then dropped to the ground in
agony, his chip stopping him from killing the Watcher.
He still cried Dru through all the pain until he stopped
and ran away into the night.
The three humans stood dazzled in the empty hall and
noone wanted to speak a single word.



Back in the bookstore, there was a council of war. Giles
brought hot tea and cookies (which were about as good as
stones, but they ate them anyway) and Willow was sobbing
even more than before.
Buffy was unsure what to say, what to think.
And then Giles was the first to speak. "We have to dust
him."

"NO!" Willow shouted. "We can curse him."

"Willow," Buffy muttered bleakly. "Xander hated nothing
more than vampires, he barely tolerated Angel...he would
not WANT to live as one himself."

"Buffy is right," Giles declared. "We have to destroy
him before he fulfills whatever dark designation has
this prophecy."

"I don't care about your damn prophecy!" Willow howled
and got up. "I will prepare the curse, Giles. And I will
not listen to anything you say to the contrary."

"Willow," Giles tried but she ran away. The stuffy
former Watcher looked at her and Buffy just shook her
head, she was so tired. And confused. She was in no
state to go after Willow now. "Buffy, you know this is
what has to happen. If Xander is a danger to you..."

"I don't care about that!" Buffy screamed at him. "He
was my FRIEND and I let him rot, Giles. He was always
there when I needed him...we...oh god..."

Giles sighed as she wordlessly left the house, turned
back to his books and began to research the vague
wording of this prophecy.



Buffy had no idea why she went to Riley instead of her
mom or anyone else. But she did and he was home. He was
a bit furious about her leaving him alone at the Bronze
but as he saw her face and distress he immidiately was
concerned. "Buffy, you look...what's wrong?" he said
as he urged her in and placed her on the bed in his
little bachelor's appartment.

"Xander," Buffy replied.

Riley Finn swallowed as he looked at her. Xander, that
was this friend of hers, the white trash guy. A mean
bastard if Riley had judged him right and absolutely not
worthy of the freindship Buffy placed on him. "He...did
not do anything to you?" Inwardly he hoped this Xander
had not hurt her like the other guy.

Buffy pulled away from him, suddenly angry. "Oh, no,
not what YOU think! He's just been killed and I saw him
rise as a vampire," Buffy snapped at him, "and I never
got to say what he meant to me...damn, Riley, he was
there for me, always, from the beginning...he never ever
hesitated to put his life on the line for me!" Her tears
kept flowing faster. "Don't you ever dare to say one bad
word about him again, Riley."

Riley felt jealous at once, wondering if she and that
looser Harris had been together before. From all of it,
it seemed like this. Not that he liked the guy a bit,
he was never sure of what Harris was. But he also did
recognize the threat Buffy placed in her words and he
remembered she was a mutant. A being just as strong and
dangerous as the Hostiles and in some ways even more
dangerous. He never thought about it before.
While he apologized and gave her something to wipe away
her tears, he shuddered as he thought of what it must be
like when she lost control while a guy was under her.
She really might break him in two - some bones at least.
And, he did not wish it on anyone to become one of the
Hostiles. Not at all.
"Something like this just happens," he said cautiously
to her. "Over time you have to loose some friends and
it was not your fault, or were you there?"

Buffy shook her head but said she should have been.

"Did you get the...the one who did it?"

"She's dust," Buffy simply declared but it did not make
her any happier. "Oh Riley, just hold me fast..."

And that he did. It felt good to hold a girl like Buffy,
a good girl. Still he paid attention for his hands not
to wander anywhere she wasn't comfortable with.
So she made the first step as she kissed him violently
and he just fell back on his bed. Nearly had no time
to get air into his aching lungs as she ripped his
clothes of and her sand then they were naked and she
urged him to play with her breasts, make her happy, make
her forget...and he was just to happy to comply. She had
nice breats with sturdy nipples and Riley felt joy as he
kissed them. And as she used her hand to gently bring
his member up - well, gently to her, he felt the touch.
Just like Graham, he liked to do it rough, too.
He was not so much used to woman but it was no problem
for him to wait until Buffy was all wet and then he
asked if she really wanted to do this, he didn't mind
if she wanted...he never got any further as she jumped
him and impaled herself on him, grunting. She was not
really intent on hurting him but sometimes she just
used to much force, still he had muscles in there...
it was like getting a blowjob and he was in her at the
time! Riley was lost for words and could only struggle
not to come at once, seeing she was clearly not ready
yet. He was sweaty and half unconscious when she finally
was ready and pulled him close again, moving his hands
at her breasts and he squeezed them as they came nearly
together. Riley panted as Buffy smiled and then laid
down besides him, her warm small body tight against his
and her sobs slowly subsiding. "I love you," Riley
whispered to her, and meaning it. This was the best sex
he ever had with any woman. And he just did not mention
how much more it brought him off to have some other guy
stick his manhood inside his ass, but she did not need
to know. After all she was _SO_ sweet, she'd never
understand.



The lair was in a house in the outskirts of Sunnydale,
and it was the most normal place a lair had ever been.
Xander registrated the fact that Harmony had found some
hideaway and it was no wonder they hadn't manged to
dust her yet.
Slowly it settled through his shock that this was not
just as before - it was not him and the whitehats
against the vamps. Now it was him and the vampires
against the whitehats.
The presence of his demon reminded him of his new place
in the greater scheme of things - as much as the fact
that somehow his soul had remained.
He could resist the demon, control it. He could. It
wasn't so hard. He had faced possession ebfore and
somehow it was no wonder to see that something of the
hyena spirit had remained and merged with the demon.
As well as the soldier.
The hunger was harder, it was seperate.
Harmony led him to her bedroom and pulled blood from
the fridge, talking how hard it could be to hunt and
that it was always good to have some reserves.
She was a true demon, he could smell her. He could as
well feel he was way stronger than her, somehow. He
was not sure how this had come to be. Certainly there
was no screaming about Drucilla, his Sire being dead.
But: Was she his Sire?
Something told him different.
Xander numbly took the bloodbag and drained it, and
three more, while Harmony kept sitting beside him.
Talking about how much she had loathed him back at
school and always wondered why Cordelia had gone to
grounds for their relationship.
"Yeah, sometimes I would like to know myself," he
muttered. It wasn't so bad anymore, just a puzzle.
He had been preprared to wait and play it slow, yet it
was hard to pretend he did not know about her adventures
and still be true to her. She had had no problems to
fuck with other guys while being with him - hell, she
had fucked with vampires some nights he had seen her
in that car! Really fucked them and gotten away clean.
Not like him, he always was their dinner. Had the scars
from their teeth to prove he was no easy bloodbag, yet.
That had pleased him and the night he got to screw Faith
had pleased him greatly as well. Beating O'Toole and his
undead pals from blowing away the school and his friends
was a major goody to him.
Why the hell was he in line for the hell's own treatment
and eternal damnation for just ONE kiss with Willow? And
in that situation? He'd never noticed he could go for her
but he felt nothing but lust for her.
Cordelia really had had shown him the same - kissing her
with a worm demon outside the door in Buffy's house was
fun. It had been fun to fight with her and to kiss her,
even to lick her in her car. She never returned more than
kisses, but hope was what kept him getting up any day.
Xander winced as he realized he had been some person.
A hopelessly hopeless cause, fallen for hope.
Hope that Buffy one day might see him differently, that
Cordelia might presume him worthy, that this or that
came to be. It was insane.
Especially thinking about Cordelia and love. There simply
never was that small tingle of something else, not like
with Buffy. Not that she'd ever kiss him!
Well, when he was the Hyena, he had made a pass at
her. And the one time he had had a chance, he had done
the right thing and restrained himself...yeah, he was
a dumb asshole. Old Xander Harris. Looser guy and Zeppo,
but a fucking boyscout.
It was not fair, but he had bowed before her. He had
wanted her enough...well, she was the only girl he had
ever been with during highschool. The only real love,
or the nearest he came. Faith did not count, that was
one night of hot sex (he still dreamt about her) and
the others were either monsters or former ones.
And then there was Buffy, of course.
And Anya. Screwing others as well, so what?
Sex with Anya was great and he could even like to be
with her. Listen to her explain about how she had done
that human and tortured this man and that and someone
else. Pretty gruesome stuff, but that's the summary of
his life.
Xander felt like laughing. He couldn't even manage to
become a proper vampire, no, he was a soulboy. He was
such a sorry looser.
He did not want to go on, not right now.
So he nodded at the right places and muttered a few
comments and befiore he knew what he was on the bed and
Harmony was on her kness in front of him, giving him a
blowjob. Harmony of all people!
Xander couldn't believe his luck. Well, the vampire part
was enough bad luck to balance everything. Still, even
if she was a corpse like himself, it felt so great to
have her lips on his cock and feel her tongue touch his
most sensitive spots.
He would enjoy this, very much. And loose his soul. And
then Buffy could go on and stake him.
There was only one little bit of a problem: The soul did
not go away as he came, not even after he started to do
Harmony like a madman. Straddling her, up the ass, lying
under her and biting her. He'd never really understood
that thing about vampires and biting, but he knew pain.
It was the secret name someone seemed to have given him
at birth. Pain, suffering, humiliation. Hope.
What a cruel part, hope. It made him go on no matter how
bad the world was kicking him down. It was such a damn
sorry mess, why couldn't he ever get away from this?
She let him bite her breasts and screamed in exstasy
about it, could you believe that? Well, he could. Now.
And he had to admit the vampires had some advantages.
Like literally inhuman endurance and recuperation.
Anya had taught him how to please a woman, but he had
known the basics before. Faith had shown him he knew.
Faith, the reckless wild side Slayer.
Oh man, just thinking about her made him hard.
Harmony certainly did not complain, in fact shelay down
on his chest and kept playing with his nipples while
talking about what a good lay he was.
Somehow Xander knew she was speaking the truth - but
she was not the woman he dreamed about being with. She
was just a convenient piece of flesh. She was exhausted
and that was no lie. She simply had to sleep.
Xander thought about walking into the sun.
It was up out there.
He slowly left the bed and went to one of the barred
windows, opened it. Put his hand in the sunlight and the
he screamed in rage. No pain. No smoke. Simple warmth.
"GOD!" Xander cursed. "Why? Why do you have to make me
go on even NOW!" That damn bastard. Didn't want to kill
him and send him to hell. No shit, sherlock, his live
already was pure hell. "This sucks!"
He turned around and saw Harmony standing there, naked
and astonished. She was calling for him to come back
into bed. And she certainly did not react well to the
sunlight. But, boy, was she impressed with that feat.
"It's nothing," Xander muttered. Wondering if he should
simply go to Buffy and let her stake him. He wanted it
to end, the torments to stop.
The demon was nagging him to fuck her, subdue her and
do damge to everything around. Not quite his kind of
game.
To her it was a miracle and she smiled, talking about
what Drucilla had proclaimed about him. Xander turned
around and was interested at once - after a question
he learned Drucilla had done some magic to preprae an
incredible powerfull vampire blood and with that she
did turn him.
Because of that power she wanted to serve him, she
wanted to kneel before him. Follow him with his
destiny. "And that is?"

"To destroy the Slayer, of course, and deliver this town
to our hands!" Harmony exclaimed lost to her demon. "I
can barely wait to see how you will do it."

Xander closed the window again and went over, feeling
his demon urge him to take her. He had no reason not to.
He liked to take her from behind and bite her shoulder.
It made his existence a little bit more tolerable. While
he raped her brutally and listened to her cries of
jubilation about it, he thought about it. The idea had
some dark fascination to him, a strange appeal. But he
was not sure if he even wanted to hurt anyone. Well.
Noone besides his parents, maybe.
He wanted to know more about what happened to him before
he staked himself - he had to make sure Buffy would get
through the coming ordeal unharmed...he had to. Did he?