Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Somewhere to Belong
Set in Stone
0 reviewsKakashi and Iruka have always had a lot in common, but never knew it till fate threw them together. As their troubled pasts lurk behind them, they soon find the answer to escape their loneliness in...
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Chapter Two: Set in Stone
13 years later...
I never wanted to be responsible for anyone's life, Kakashi thought sadly as he gazed upon the memorial stone.
His eyes rested on one name: "Obito Uchiha"- the friend that he had not been able to save. He looked upon his name with Obito's own eye, the sharingan he had given to Kakashi upon his death. Kakashi sighed. After Obito's death, he had never been the same. Obito had left more than his eye behind for Kakashi as a gift. Kakashi had changed for the better, a result of Obito's sacrifice. He had let some of the coldness melt away and took back some of the emotions that he had cast aside but had never truly lost. Obito had taught him the importance of protecting one's team members...but Kakashi hadn't been able to save him. He hadn't been able to save anyone.
" I let them down," Kakashi said to the stone, " Maybe I really was never meant to be a leader...Obito, what would you say to me if you were still alive?"
The day he had become a jounin and led his first team had been a horrible experience. He had watched his friend die under his leadership. Now, so many years later, he had finally been put in charge of another team...and once again he had failed them. Sasuke was gone, and his other genin were slipping away. Sakura was training under Tsunade, and Naruto had taken an interest in Jiraiya as his new mentor. The team had broken apart. Kakashi couldn't help but feel so alone. Back to where I started...
He felt responsible for Sasuke's betrayal. It had been him who had trained him and taught him to use the chidori that had almost ended Naruto's life. Why hadn't he been able to see this before?
I was so naïve to think that tying him to a tree and making him listen to me was going to change anything. I thought I saw it coming...but I was so blind. I couldn't see what I didn't want to believe.
The truth was obvious now. Sasuke was gone, and Kakashi felt the guilt, though no one from Konoha blamed him. The Godaime herself had even spoken to him privately.
"I know you think this was your fault, but there's nothing you could have done. Once someone as stubborn as him makes up his mind, there's no stopping him."
Why couldn't I make him understand the danger in his obsession for revenge? Kakashi hadn't been able to say anything in response to his own question or Tsunade's statement. What the Godaime had said was true, after all. Sasuke had been "stubborn," though this seemed to be putting it lightly. Betraying your village just to seek power needed for revenge was a little more extreme.
Iruka was passing by on his way home from the academy. The young future ninja in his class had been rowdier than usual, and it had worn the poor sensei out. He barely noticed Kakashi standing by the stone, but then realized that he had barely seen much of the jounin around the village. He was usually locked up in his room or nowhere to be found. Seeing him here was a rare sight. Iruka stopped and stared.
Kakashi noticed the dark-skinned chunnin standing not too far away. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Iruka stare at him with a questioning look. Kakashi sighed and turned to face him. Iruka jumped in the sudden realization that he had been caught gawking at the silver-haired man and quickly bowed in apology.
"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei. I didn't mean to stare."
The jounin simply nodded.
"Don't worry about it."
Iruka was glad Kakashi wasn't mad at him. This jounin was not one you wanted to upset...especially if he has an intimidating sharingan locked onto you like a hawk. The chunnin's uneasiness must have been visible because the Copy-Nin slowly pulled his headband over his scarred eye before turning back around and continuing to stare at the memorial stone, a sad expression visible in his mostly-covered face. Iruka stared at him curiously and dared to venture closer to Kakashi until he was standing right beside him. Kakashi didn't seem to mind. This was a public monument, after all. And Iruka had...
"There's my parents."
Iruka indicated the Uminos' names carved onto the stone.
Feeling suddenly awkward, he stared at the Copy-Nin and asked quietly, "Who are you visiting?"
Kakashi's single visible eye curved with his false smile.
"More people than I wish I was."
His voice was calm and soothing, but Iruka sensed the pain hidden behind it. The chunnin felt a rush of pity for the jounin. With all the field experience he had, how many people had he seen die?
"I'm sorry..." Iruka said sadly, and then added, "It's frightening to think...that the little brats and teacher's pets I see now...might end up having their names carved on this stone someday."
There was a moment of silence before Iruka could have sworn he heard Kakashi suppress a chuckle. Iruka looked at him shocked. What could possibly be funny about what he had just said?!
"You know," Kakashi said, beginning to explain himself, "Before Naruto knew what this stone was, he said he wanted his name carved onto it. No doubt he took his words back immediately."
The tan chunnin looked slightly pale. Kakashi realized that he had just made poor Iruka very nervous. The image of Naruto's name being carved onto this stone was too much for the chunnin to take in. The boy who he now constantly treated to ramen, who wore his own headband...how could he even begin to imagine...
Kakashi put his hand on Iruka's shoulder. His eye still held the same happy look that tried to assure Iruka that nothing was wrong. Something about Kakashi's touch sent a shiver down Iruka's spine, as if it carried its own overwhelming vibe. Iruka didn't really understand this; he assumed it was due to the jounin's prestige. It was like being touched by a celebrity, which Kakashi practically was. Not that the chunnin knew only one renowned ninja. He came in contact with them almost daily. So why...
"You don't have to worry about a thing," Kakashi assured him, "Naruto's a lot tougher than he looks. You know that...and as long as I'm still here, he'll be fine. I would never let my teammates die."
Except you have, the voice inside Kakashi's head said. What do you think happened to Obito? What almost happened to Naruto? You're nothing but a liar. A worthless liar... You can't protect anyone. There is no Team Seven anymore.
Iruka smiled, and the color returned to his face. Though he could tell when a person was hiding something from all of his experience as an academy teacher, the jounin's promise seemed so sincere somehow...and Iruka decided that maybe this was because he wanted to believe him. He wanted to trust Kakashi.
"You know, Kakashi-sensei," the raven-haired man said with a small laugh, "all of this time, I feel that I've misjudged you...and I'm really sorry about that. I guess I was just worried about Naruto being taken care of. You know how he is."
"All too well," the jounin laughed softly.
"Well, at least now I can be sure...that he's in good hands."
Hands that aren't mine. Kakashi sighed. Maybe it was better that Naruto was in Jiraya's hands now. At least under the Sannin's care, he'd be safe. At least Jiraya could do a decent job of protecting him. The Copy-Nin stared at the stone more intently, making too much of an effort to ignore the voice inside him that kept putting him down. Iruka noticed the smile fade from the jounin's eye.
"Kakashi-sensei? Are you all right?"
Kakashi snapped out of it, and his fake smile returned.
"Yes, fine. I'm sorry. Just thinking."
About what a failure you are.
"Err..." Kakashi grunted softly.
"What?" Iruka asked.
"Nothing," Kakashi responded calmly, "I was just thinking...I haven't seen much of Naruto and Sakura lately. Well, I know Naruto's off training with Jiraya, and I see Sakura whenever I have to go to the Fifth's office for a mission, but usually, I never hear from them. I suppose they've moved on."
Iruka shrugged.
"That's what kids do."
"Yeah..."
There was a long silence between them. What else was there to say? Kakashi couldn't find a way to release all of the pain he had worked so hard to suppress. Just as he had been when he was fourteen, Kakashi was still reluctant to open up to anyone. Have I lost my value as a ninja? There seems to be only so much I could do these days. He looked at Iruka, a man with a purpose. At least he was needed. There were children that relied on him to teach them the basic skills that they needed to survive on the missions that they would one day undertake, and the tan chunnin, though strict, was always determined not to let them down. He had yet to fail as a teacher. Kakashi was almost jealous of him.
Iruka stared at he ground, while Kakashi continued to gaze at the stone. Finally, Iruka decided it was best that he took his leave.
"I should probably get going," the tan chunin said, "but I guess I'll see you at the Fifth's meeting tomorrow night, right?"
"Oh, yes. I almost forgot about that. I'll probably be a bit late."
"See you then," Iruka said with a smile.
Kakashi raised his hand and waved slightly before letting it drop and return to his side. The Copy-Nin was confused. Somehow, Iruka's smile had melted some of his pain away. Now he felt some sort of warmth. Just a little bit, but it was there, nonetheless. Something's wrong with you, Kakashi. Everyone who cares about you is dead. You know that. Iruka, despite his concern, couldn't possibly... He shook it off. His eyes fell back on Obito's name, and he raised his hand up to touch his headband where it covered his sharingan. Obito, even your eye is blind...
13 years later...
I never wanted to be responsible for anyone's life, Kakashi thought sadly as he gazed upon the memorial stone.
His eyes rested on one name: "Obito Uchiha"- the friend that he had not been able to save. He looked upon his name with Obito's own eye, the sharingan he had given to Kakashi upon his death. Kakashi sighed. After Obito's death, he had never been the same. Obito had left more than his eye behind for Kakashi as a gift. Kakashi had changed for the better, a result of Obito's sacrifice. He had let some of the coldness melt away and took back some of the emotions that he had cast aside but had never truly lost. Obito had taught him the importance of protecting one's team members...but Kakashi hadn't been able to save him. He hadn't been able to save anyone.
" I let them down," Kakashi said to the stone, " Maybe I really was never meant to be a leader...Obito, what would you say to me if you were still alive?"
The day he had become a jounin and led his first team had been a horrible experience. He had watched his friend die under his leadership. Now, so many years later, he had finally been put in charge of another team...and once again he had failed them. Sasuke was gone, and his other genin were slipping away. Sakura was training under Tsunade, and Naruto had taken an interest in Jiraiya as his new mentor. The team had broken apart. Kakashi couldn't help but feel so alone. Back to where I started...
He felt responsible for Sasuke's betrayal. It had been him who had trained him and taught him to use the chidori that had almost ended Naruto's life. Why hadn't he been able to see this before?
I was so naïve to think that tying him to a tree and making him listen to me was going to change anything. I thought I saw it coming...but I was so blind. I couldn't see what I didn't want to believe.
The truth was obvious now. Sasuke was gone, and Kakashi felt the guilt, though no one from Konoha blamed him. The Godaime herself had even spoken to him privately.
"I know you think this was your fault, but there's nothing you could have done. Once someone as stubborn as him makes up his mind, there's no stopping him."
Why couldn't I make him understand the danger in his obsession for revenge? Kakashi hadn't been able to say anything in response to his own question or Tsunade's statement. What the Godaime had said was true, after all. Sasuke had been "stubborn," though this seemed to be putting it lightly. Betraying your village just to seek power needed for revenge was a little more extreme.
Iruka was passing by on his way home from the academy. The young future ninja in his class had been rowdier than usual, and it had worn the poor sensei out. He barely noticed Kakashi standing by the stone, but then realized that he had barely seen much of the jounin around the village. He was usually locked up in his room or nowhere to be found. Seeing him here was a rare sight. Iruka stopped and stared.
Kakashi noticed the dark-skinned chunnin standing not too far away. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Iruka stare at him with a questioning look. Kakashi sighed and turned to face him. Iruka jumped in the sudden realization that he had been caught gawking at the silver-haired man and quickly bowed in apology.
"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei. I didn't mean to stare."
The jounin simply nodded.
"Don't worry about it."
Iruka was glad Kakashi wasn't mad at him. This jounin was not one you wanted to upset...especially if he has an intimidating sharingan locked onto you like a hawk. The chunnin's uneasiness must have been visible because the Copy-Nin slowly pulled his headband over his scarred eye before turning back around and continuing to stare at the memorial stone, a sad expression visible in his mostly-covered face. Iruka stared at him curiously and dared to venture closer to Kakashi until he was standing right beside him. Kakashi didn't seem to mind. This was a public monument, after all. And Iruka had...
"There's my parents."
Iruka indicated the Uminos' names carved onto the stone.
Feeling suddenly awkward, he stared at the Copy-Nin and asked quietly, "Who are you visiting?"
Kakashi's single visible eye curved with his false smile.
"More people than I wish I was."
His voice was calm and soothing, but Iruka sensed the pain hidden behind it. The chunnin felt a rush of pity for the jounin. With all the field experience he had, how many people had he seen die?
"I'm sorry..." Iruka said sadly, and then added, "It's frightening to think...that the little brats and teacher's pets I see now...might end up having their names carved on this stone someday."
There was a moment of silence before Iruka could have sworn he heard Kakashi suppress a chuckle. Iruka looked at him shocked. What could possibly be funny about what he had just said?!
"You know," Kakashi said, beginning to explain himself, "Before Naruto knew what this stone was, he said he wanted his name carved onto it. No doubt he took his words back immediately."
The tan chunnin looked slightly pale. Kakashi realized that he had just made poor Iruka very nervous. The image of Naruto's name being carved onto this stone was too much for the chunnin to take in. The boy who he now constantly treated to ramen, who wore his own headband...how could he even begin to imagine...
Kakashi put his hand on Iruka's shoulder. His eye still held the same happy look that tried to assure Iruka that nothing was wrong. Something about Kakashi's touch sent a shiver down Iruka's spine, as if it carried its own overwhelming vibe. Iruka didn't really understand this; he assumed it was due to the jounin's prestige. It was like being touched by a celebrity, which Kakashi practically was. Not that the chunnin knew only one renowned ninja. He came in contact with them almost daily. So why...
"You don't have to worry about a thing," Kakashi assured him, "Naruto's a lot tougher than he looks. You know that...and as long as I'm still here, he'll be fine. I would never let my teammates die."
Except you have, the voice inside Kakashi's head said. What do you think happened to Obito? What almost happened to Naruto? You're nothing but a liar. A worthless liar... You can't protect anyone. There is no Team Seven anymore.
Iruka smiled, and the color returned to his face. Though he could tell when a person was hiding something from all of his experience as an academy teacher, the jounin's promise seemed so sincere somehow...and Iruka decided that maybe this was because he wanted to believe him. He wanted to trust Kakashi.
"You know, Kakashi-sensei," the raven-haired man said with a small laugh, "all of this time, I feel that I've misjudged you...and I'm really sorry about that. I guess I was just worried about Naruto being taken care of. You know how he is."
"All too well," the jounin laughed softly.
"Well, at least now I can be sure...that he's in good hands."
Hands that aren't mine. Kakashi sighed. Maybe it was better that Naruto was in Jiraya's hands now. At least under the Sannin's care, he'd be safe. At least Jiraya could do a decent job of protecting him. The Copy-Nin stared at the stone more intently, making too much of an effort to ignore the voice inside him that kept putting him down. Iruka noticed the smile fade from the jounin's eye.
"Kakashi-sensei? Are you all right?"
Kakashi snapped out of it, and his fake smile returned.
"Yes, fine. I'm sorry. Just thinking."
About what a failure you are.
"Err..." Kakashi grunted softly.
"What?" Iruka asked.
"Nothing," Kakashi responded calmly, "I was just thinking...I haven't seen much of Naruto and Sakura lately. Well, I know Naruto's off training with Jiraya, and I see Sakura whenever I have to go to the Fifth's office for a mission, but usually, I never hear from them. I suppose they've moved on."
Iruka shrugged.
"That's what kids do."
"Yeah..."
There was a long silence between them. What else was there to say? Kakashi couldn't find a way to release all of the pain he had worked so hard to suppress. Just as he had been when he was fourteen, Kakashi was still reluctant to open up to anyone. Have I lost my value as a ninja? There seems to be only so much I could do these days. He looked at Iruka, a man with a purpose. At least he was needed. There were children that relied on him to teach them the basic skills that they needed to survive on the missions that they would one day undertake, and the tan chunnin, though strict, was always determined not to let them down. He had yet to fail as a teacher. Kakashi was almost jealous of him.
Iruka stared at he ground, while Kakashi continued to gaze at the stone. Finally, Iruka decided it was best that he took his leave.
"I should probably get going," the tan chunin said, "but I guess I'll see you at the Fifth's meeting tomorrow night, right?"
"Oh, yes. I almost forgot about that. I'll probably be a bit late."
"See you then," Iruka said with a smile.
Kakashi raised his hand and waved slightly before letting it drop and return to his side. The Copy-Nin was confused. Somehow, Iruka's smile had melted some of his pain away. Now he felt some sort of warmth. Just a little bit, but it was there, nonetheless. Something's wrong with you, Kakashi. Everyone who cares about you is dead. You know that. Iruka, despite his concern, couldn't possibly... He shook it off. His eyes fell back on Obito's name, and he raised his hand up to touch his headband where it covered his sharingan. Obito, even your eye is blind...
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