Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Dissolve
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The problem is that they aren't friends anymore. Not in the way Naruto had always imagined friendship to be, and not in that way they were friends when Sasuke laughed at him in the valley and told him that Naruto was his best and then ripped a hole in his chest.
--
They aren't much of anything anymore, because it's awkward whenever the remnants of Team Seven get together, and Naruto can't talk to Sasuke, and Sasuke refuses to talk to him, and there's only so many times Sakura can fill up the empty space with harmless words.
--
They aren't lovers, because there's nothing like love in what they do, or at least, not from Sasuke's side, and Naruto isn't that sure there's love from his side either. He knows that Sasuke is important--probably the most important person he's ever had and he can't stand to lose him again--but that's more to do with obsession than love and even Naruto can see that now.
--
They aren't rivals, because ever since the day Sasuke showed up wandering the outskirts of Konoha with Itachi's blood soaking his hair and shirt and hands, Naruto's been afraid to fight him. He's afraid to push Sasuke even a little closer to the edge, because what if Sasuke leaves again and this time there's no guarantee he'd stay alive long enough for Naruto to bring him back.
--
Sometimes, Naruto wonders if the person he brought back is really alive anyway. The wounded curve of Sasuke's shoulders and all the fucking silence...it burns him in a way that a chidori through his lung couldn't possibly match up to. Sasuke eyes are strangely dull and sometimes he looks at Naruto like he doesn't recognize him at all, like he doesn't know what the hell he's doing here.
--
Sometimes, Naruto wonders if Sasuke has already left him--so when Sasuke lets him in, when Sasuke pulls his mouth to his, like he's trying to reach inside Naruto with his tongue, Naruto lets him. And when Sasuke pulls him down onto the floor, not even bothering to drag them over to the couch, let alone the bedroom, and rips at Naruto's clothes like they personally offend him, he lets him do that too.
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And when Sasuke strains against him like he's dying, Naruto holds on and whispers things into his ear that he's pretty sure Sasuke isn't hearing and wouldn't listen to if he was. Naruto holds on so tight, he leaves finger marks on Sasuke's back, his ribs, his hands-dark shadows like shackles that tie Sasuke to him so he can't escape, won't ever leave again. The whole time Sasuke never closes his eyes.
Naruto never opens his.
--
It's wrong, and strange, and sometimes it's fucking /painful/, and he knows he should stop, should tell Sasuke to stop. He thinks he will, every night. Every night when he shows up at Sasuke's door he's prepared. There's a whole speech that carefully outlines the things he and Sasuke can be to each other.
--
They can be friends, ones that talk and go for ramen and do all that 'friend' stuff that isn't scary and intense and fucked-up like they are. Or they can be rivals: Naruto's totally willing to kick the shit out of Sasuke every day if that's what it takes to keep him in Konoha where he belongs. Or let Sasuke beat the shit out of him, if that's what he needs.
Naruto's even willing to be lovers, because there's something in the moments directly after Sasuke's found his release, when his eyelashes flutter and his body relaxes for once, and Naruto can breathe into him like he's giving life, and Sasuke's lips part like he welcomes Naruto's breath inside him. There's something like love there--even if it's gone in the space of a second and Sasuke is kicking him off his body, kicking him out of his bed, an expression like carved stone on his face.
--
But they can't keep being this...this, whatever they are and Naruto's all ready to say so when Sasuke opens the door. And then Sasuke's hands are twining into his shirt and around his neck, and his body is pressed so close he can smell the soap on Sasuke's skin and everything he was going to say is gone.
--
"What are we?" he whispers in the heaving breaths of his climax. Sasuke's eyes burn into his, and he closes his lids to shield them, thrusting blindly.
"You're my best," Sasuke whispers back, and everything breaks and spins and dissolves like sugar in water and Naruto lets himself melt away and knows--/he feels/--that this is never--/don't leave/--going to end.
Can't let you go.
--
fin.
--
The problem is that they aren't friends anymore. Not in the way Naruto had always imagined friendship to be, and not in that way they were friends when Sasuke laughed at him in the valley and told him that Naruto was his best and then ripped a hole in his chest.
--
They aren't much of anything anymore, because it's awkward whenever the remnants of Team Seven get together, and Naruto can't talk to Sasuke, and Sasuke refuses to talk to him, and there's only so many times Sakura can fill up the empty space with harmless words.
--
They aren't lovers, because there's nothing like love in what they do, or at least, not from Sasuke's side, and Naruto isn't that sure there's love from his side either. He knows that Sasuke is important--probably the most important person he's ever had and he can't stand to lose him again--but that's more to do with obsession than love and even Naruto can see that now.
--
They aren't rivals, because ever since the day Sasuke showed up wandering the outskirts of Konoha with Itachi's blood soaking his hair and shirt and hands, Naruto's been afraid to fight him. He's afraid to push Sasuke even a little closer to the edge, because what if Sasuke leaves again and this time there's no guarantee he'd stay alive long enough for Naruto to bring him back.
--
Sometimes, Naruto wonders if the person he brought back is really alive anyway. The wounded curve of Sasuke's shoulders and all the fucking silence...it burns him in a way that a chidori through his lung couldn't possibly match up to. Sasuke eyes are strangely dull and sometimes he looks at Naruto like he doesn't recognize him at all, like he doesn't know what the hell he's doing here.
--
Sometimes, Naruto wonders if Sasuke has already left him--so when Sasuke lets him in, when Sasuke pulls his mouth to his, like he's trying to reach inside Naruto with his tongue, Naruto lets him. And when Sasuke pulls him down onto the floor, not even bothering to drag them over to the couch, let alone the bedroom, and rips at Naruto's clothes like they personally offend him, he lets him do that too.
--
And when Sasuke strains against him like he's dying, Naruto holds on and whispers things into his ear that he's pretty sure Sasuke isn't hearing and wouldn't listen to if he was. Naruto holds on so tight, he leaves finger marks on Sasuke's back, his ribs, his hands-dark shadows like shackles that tie Sasuke to him so he can't escape, won't ever leave again. The whole time Sasuke never closes his eyes.
Naruto never opens his.
--
It's wrong, and strange, and sometimes it's fucking /painful/, and he knows he should stop, should tell Sasuke to stop. He thinks he will, every night. Every night when he shows up at Sasuke's door he's prepared. There's a whole speech that carefully outlines the things he and Sasuke can be to each other.
--
They can be friends, ones that talk and go for ramen and do all that 'friend' stuff that isn't scary and intense and fucked-up like they are. Or they can be rivals: Naruto's totally willing to kick the shit out of Sasuke every day if that's what it takes to keep him in Konoha where he belongs. Or let Sasuke beat the shit out of him, if that's what he needs.
Naruto's even willing to be lovers, because there's something in the moments directly after Sasuke's found his release, when his eyelashes flutter and his body relaxes for once, and Naruto can breathe into him like he's giving life, and Sasuke's lips part like he welcomes Naruto's breath inside him. There's something like love there--even if it's gone in the space of a second and Sasuke is kicking him off his body, kicking him out of his bed, an expression like carved stone on his face.
--
But they can't keep being this...this, whatever they are and Naruto's all ready to say so when Sasuke opens the door. And then Sasuke's hands are twining into his shirt and around his neck, and his body is pressed so close he can smell the soap on Sasuke's skin and everything he was going to say is gone.
--
"What are we?" he whispers in the heaving breaths of his climax. Sasuke's eyes burn into his, and he closes his lids to shield them, thrusting blindly.
"You're my best," Sasuke whispers back, and everything breaks and spins and dissolves like sugar in water and Naruto lets himself melt away and knows--/he feels/--that this is never--/don't leave/--going to end.
Can't let you go.
--
fin.
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