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(1.4)

THINKING ABOUT

"/I want to help him."/

-After school-

Kakashi found Sakura waiting for him outside the Literature Club room. He went inside the room and Sakura followed after him. "Take a seat.", he instructed her.

When Sakura sat down, Kakashi walked towards the filing cabinet. He opened the top drawer to look for something. He took a quick glance at her face then returned to looking through the files. "Rough week so far?"

Sakura awkwardly raised her left hand to do her usual routine with her fringes and hair accessory. Then she slid down the same hand through her left braid while looking anywhere, everywhere aside from the man in front of her.

Kakashi dropped a folder on the table and Sakura finally looked at him. "What is that?", she inquired.

Kakashi took a deep breath. "A special project.", he said as he made a move to sit on the chair opposite her at the table.

Sakura was not enthusiastic about it.

"The school is updating its official website and we've planned to conduct a survey to help us with the specifics. I was supposed to ask the student council for assistance. Instead, I'm asking you-"

"If you want my help, I'd be more than willing to help. But if you're planning to do what I think you're planning to do, then I don't want any part of it."

"Just take it Haruno.", he insisted. "If you really have issues with how Sasuke is being graded, then just think of this as the extra work for that extra point."

"Kakashi-sensei, that's still-" Sakura shook her head. "I just don't understand why you would do something like this. It's not like you at all... Why is Uchiha Sasuke so important to you?"

Sasuke just so happened to arrive at that point but the two have yet to notice his presence behind the door.

Kakashi sighed. "He's uncle is a very important friend of mine. I've been asked to look out for him."

"Still. To put me in this situation?!"

"It doesn't have to be hard for you.", said Kakashi. "Why are you making such a big deal out of a small thing anyway? If getting good grades is so important to you, why can't you just go along with my request?"

Sakura gripped her skirt.

"If it makes you feel better, I do realize and appreciate your efforts-", Kakashi continued.

"BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS!", Sakura snapped. "Everyone knows how the grading system works. And everyone knows YOU would do something like this. And everyone is gonna point out how I hadn't work hard for my grade or how much I don't deserve it.

I don't like it! The feeling that I got an easy way out! Feeling like I'm not good enough! Feeling like I failed to do my part! … I'd rather look like a fool running around and chasing after Uchiha. I'd do it every day even if he rejects my help. And even if the only thing I get out of it is to have the fact that I'm just an ugly, unpleasant, and... 'annoying' person pointed out to my face again and again."

"Haruno." Kakashi gave her a moment to calm down. "And why is this such a big deal to you?", he asked her with careful consideration.

Sakura took a deep breath. She hesitated before opening her mouth to speak. "I'm planning to become a doctor but... my parents aren't too fond of the idea of me going to college. … They think it's just additional expenses and that I should just help out with the family business since, I'll be the one inheriting it from them someday. … So I thought, if I worked hard enough and showed them how good I am with my studies, they would reconsider. And here I am. Always second place to the Hyuuga prodigy.

But they told me, 'No one's gonna remember some girl even if she came in second place to Hyuuga Neji during high school when he's already the head of the Hyuuga Enterprise!' … Just like that, they made my hard work look like it was... not worth anything at all!

So I... /begged/. I begged until my mom had no choice but to ask my grandparents for help. They promised to support me... on one condition; I have to surpass the Hyuuga Prodigy. … They have to be sure that I really am good enough and that their money won't be wasted on me.

I wish I could just take your offer. I really need that extra point. … But, if this is how little my own family think of my best, how will they look at me if I do surpass Hyuuga but with a grade I hadn't earned?"

Kakashi didn't know what to say to her.

"I do need to surpass Hyuuga Neji. But it was never just about achieving the higher grade. If I don't work hard to earn it then maybe my parents were right and beating Hyuuga won't mean a thing. I need to prove myself to my family but I want to prove something to myself too." She stood up. "And the fact that you told me I can't help Uchiha. To me, it feels like I have something I have to prove to you as well. So that's just what I'm going to do. I'm gonna prove to you just how wrong you were about me!"

She started slowly walking backwards as she made her way to the door, still talking. "You'll see! I'll convince him to come to school more. We'll get through senior year with our own efforts. Just so you know! I believe in Uchiha. I know he can be capable, if he only tried. We don't need your /special project/. We don't need your special treatment and consideration."

She kept backing up that Kakashi finally saw the silhouette behind the thick frosted glass on the door. "Uh, Haruno-" he tried telling her.

"I know you're worried about him but you'll see. He'll come around. I just know it. Weird as that sounds, I do believe that there's more to him than what he lets people think about him. And he gives me this feeling like he's just waiting for someone to scratch that surface and reveal just who he really is inside. … He and I might actually become good friends. ... You know, how everyone seems to hate us?" Her eyes stayed on Kakashi while her left hand was feeling for the door knob. "He might actually learn to like me as a person. I'll make him like me. He's definitely gonna l-" She felt the knob and turned it. "Love me.", she finished, finally turning around to find herself in front of Sasuke.

Sakura rolled her eyes to the right unable to make any bigger move than that. Her mouth still agape and forming a half smile. She could tell her face just spelled, 'Why me' right at that moment. Or if she could be more blunt...

['Fuck me.']

Sasuke did not move from the door as well. The expression on his face was unreadable as he just stared at Sakura.

The awkward situation was lasting longer than Kakashi could handle so he pretended to cough, breaking the silence.

Sasuke glanced at Kakashi who had leaned back on his chair. Then without saying a single word, he left.

Sakura released the breath she was holding. Suddenly feeling all her energy drained from her, she leaned on the door for support.

"He hates me.", she concluded and weakly slammed her forehead on the door, the 'thud' sound overwhelming the empty hallway.

Kakashi went for the folder and hesitated before raising it a little towards her. "Sure, you don't want it?"

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Eventually, Sakura had to head out as well and Sasuke was just a little ahead of her. She opened her mouth, hesitated, closed it and opened it again just to have her own hand cover it.

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Sasuke stopped by the vending machine Sakura had seen Karin kicked just yesterday. As he was getting a drink, she was debating within herself whether to walk on ahead or stop to talk to him. She decided on the latter.

Sasuke sighed. "What?", he asked before drinking from a can of black coffee.

"So?... H-How long have you been- How much have you heard?"

He looked away. "More than necessary, I guess."

Sakura blushed. "Then, my circumstance as well.", she realized. She was so embarrassed and frustrated that she face-palmed so hard it was practically a slap. The action wouldn't be complete without her hand feeling for her accessory before letting it fall down on her side.

Before their conversation could get any further, Naruto walked by along with Shikamaru and Choji.

"Heh! These two again.", said Choji.

"Quiet, Choji.", Shikamaru told him.

Naruto had the same look he always had whenever he looked at Sasuke. It's as if he was studying him, gauging his reaction. As if he was always wary of approaching him in a way that will only offend him.

"But, everyone's talking about them.", Choji spoke again.

"I said quiet. She likes someone else remember?", Shikamaru reminded him.

Naruto looked at Sakura who was uncomfortable with the way the two boys talked about her. Then he looked at Sasuke.

Sasuke met his eyes then glanced at Sakura. He then tried to leave.

Naruto stopped him. "Sasuke!", he called. "Listen..." he ran and reached for Sasuke's shoulder.

Sasuke stopped and turned his head to look at Naruto.

Sakura noticed that the annoyed face he always showed her was gone. It was replaced by the stoic expression he usually had before.

Sasuke looked like he was staring at nothing. The black in his eyes had never looked so deep, endless and empty. It had Naruto pulling his hand back from him.

Naruto fisted his hands. He literally took one step back and two steps forward. "Enough already! Sasuke just come home. Your uncle's worried about you. She's worried about you! I'm worried about you... Just how long are you gonna avoid all of us?!", he confronted him.

The only answer Sasuke gave to him was a calm but sharp, "Leave me alone."

"Damn it! Sasuke! You can't live alone forever!" Naruto reached for his collar.

Sasuke struggled against his grip and he ended up pushing Naruto off.

Naruto was able to keep himself from falling and as soon as he recovered his footing, he faced Sasuke again and punched him.

Sakura gasped.

Sasuke almost fell backwards but Naruto had grabbed him by the collar again and was about to throw him another punch when Shikamaru and Choji suddenly appeared beside him, holding him in place.

"Calm down, Naruto!", Shikamaru told to him, while doing his best along with Chouji, to pull Naruto away from Sasuke.

Naruto gripped Sasuke's collar tighter while Sasuke in return grabbed Naruto's hands with an attempt to pry it off of him.

Suddenly, Sakura thought someone had to pull Sasuke away from Naruto as well. And for some reason she thought that it had to be her. The next thing she knew, she was at Sasuke's left side pulling his arms with her right hand and pushing Naruto's shoulder with her left. "Stop it! The both of you!", she yelled.

"Is this really what you want?!", Naruto shouted. "Is this what Itachi would have wanted?!"

Something in Sasuke snapped. It was his turn to shout "Don't. You. Ever. Say HIS NAME!" His blood boiled and he suddenly had the strength to pull himself out of Naruto's hands.

At the same time however, Naruto's grip loosened as guilt seemed to have overwhelmed him. He and Shikamaru were able to stable themselves while Choji suddenly fell backwards at the sudden loss of the contradicting force. And Sakura was left to experience the full force of Sasuke's pull.

At some point Sasuke had accidentally grabbed her by her shirt and threw her off. Her back hit the adjacent wall hard and she fell down on her bottom, twitching in pain.

"Sakura!", came Ino's voice. She had just been looking for Sakura and witnessed everything from the stairwell.

"Sakura-chan!", worried Naruto. He was about to run to her but Ino beat him to it.

Sakura looked around her taking in everyone's reaction. Ino and Naruto looked very worried. Choji was panicking while Shikamaru was massaging his temples while muttering; 'troublesome'. Then her eyes found Sasuke who was sweating hard and looking extremely guilty.

He saw as Sasuke looked at his closed fist, opened it and found an object she immediately recognized was her bowtie. She suddenly realized that her shirt had been ripped open and is now missing the two top buttons.

Sakura bolted right up shaking the pain off. She held her shirt together with her left hand and started laughing at herself as if she had done something really goofy. She tried to convince everyone that she was fine, "I'm okay! Everything's fine! I was just surprised that's all.", she assured them, smiling in a way that Sasuke already know so well by now to be forced.

Naruto looked at Sasuke angrily and was about to start another fight but Sakura stepped in between them facing towards him. "That's enough, Naruto!"

Sakura tried to smile again and continued, "It was an accident. And I really am fine. Look." She bent down a bit and threw her right fist in the air while shouting 'SHANAROO!'.

"What is going on there?!" Iruka appeared to check what the commotion was all about.

Everyone aside from Sasuke and Naruto panicked. Ino grabbed Sakura's hands and ran with her so the teacher wouldn't see Sakura's tattered uniform.

She looked back and saw Shikamaru and Choji trying to distract the teacher while the other two remained still.

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"Sakura?"

"Hi, Karin.", Sakura greeted the redhead who was staring at her disheveled look.

"What ha-" Karin couldn't finish because Sakura started bending over in agony reaching for her arms. Karin caught her and realized she was shaking and sweating hard.

"It hurts."

"She hit her back on the wall.", Ino informed Karin.

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Ino had just finished repairing Sakura's shirt. She folded it and placed it on top of the table beside the needle and thread. She turned to look at Sakura who was sitting on a stool while Karin was behind her pressing ice packs on her bruised back.

"How are you doing?", asked Ino.

"Better.", Sakura answered.

"It's nothing too serious.", Karin assured her. "But with that big a bruise, It's gonna take a while to completely heal."

Ino was relieved. "Really Sakura? What were you thinking jumping in like that?!", she scolded her, standing up.

"I know. I know. It was a stupid idea. I'm sorry! ... Sorry for making you worry like that."

Karin just stayed quiet feeling like it wasn't her place to ask.

"Ne, Ino?" Sakura sounded pleading.

Ino sighed. "I get it. You're worried about those two. I'm worried about Shikamaru and Chouji as well." Ino brought up her hands to rest on her waist. She looked at the clock. "It's about time I go back anyway."

Ino made her way to the door. "I'll let you know what happened okay. Later. See you around Karin.", she said then disappeared into the hallway.

-She would later tell Sakura that while Karin tended to her, Iruka scolded the four boys but had to let them go when Kakashi came for them. After that they were sent home. Sasuke however did not make a move to leave the school premises and according to Shikamaru, as soon as they were dismissed he took out his phone, called someone and disappeared off to somewhere.-

Karin's phone rang. As soon as she saw who the caller was, she was more than happy to answer the call. "Y-yeah? What's up?", she talked through the phone while giving Sakura a look, asking to excuse herself.

Sakura nodded and stayed quiet.

Karin stood up but didn't even reach the door when she said, "What?" and turned back to look at Sakura. "Er… As a matter of fact, yes. ... W-Wait?!"

Karin moved the phone away from her ear and confirmed that the call ended. "Sakura?" she looked at her. "You were pushed right? How?"

"I-I jumped into this fight."

"Whose?"

"Uhm, Na-Naruto and-"

"Is she still here?!" Sasuke had suddenly entered the room panting, and found a confused Karin and a shirtless Sakura.

Her back was turned and he saw the bluish-green discoloration on her fair skin. The bruise almost the same color as her bra that had both straps moved away to the side.

Sasuke immediately turned around and Sakura tried to cover what she can with her hands.

Karin slowly shifted her gaze from Sasuke to Sakura and to Sasuke again. With a passive expression she told him, "Hey Sasuke-kun, I'm happy to see you by the way. I love you…"

Hearing this, Sakura suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"…you know that but forgive me for what I'm about to say." Karin sighed. "Get the fuck out bastard!", she commanded.

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Sasuke stood outside the Infirmary until Karin finally let him in. She offered him a seat in front of Sakura, who was now wearing her shirt but still very bashful.

As soon as Sasuke sat down, Karin started scolding him. "Jeez! What were you thinking hurting this girl?" Karin stood beside Sakura with her hand on Sakura's head

Sasuke looked annoyed but he just accepted Karin's scolding.

"Uhm, you guys are pretty close.", Sakura pointed out.

['Where did that come from?']

"Ah. He's engaged to me!", Karin said.

"Eh?!" Sakura was surprised to hear this. She alternately looked at the them.

Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. Karin noticed it and laughed "I was just kidding."

Sakura didn't know what to say at this point.

"But he's going to become my boyfriend eventually."

"Karin!" Sasuke was irritated at this point and Karin giggled.

"So serious!", she told him. She had her fingers slightly stroke his shoulder as she walked passed him moving towards the chair by the nurse' table.

Sasuke glared at her, making her giggle again.

"Apologize to her properly.", she ordered and then wink at Sakura before taking her seat.

Sakura looked down and started playing with her braids.

['I knew she was a fangirl but I didn't expect them to be this close. He even have her number.']

Sasuke cleared his throat. When Sakura looked at him he handed her the bowtie he had held onto all this time.

"I'm sorry.", he apologized to her just like that. Then he looked away.

"Sasuke-kun, you're so cute when you're embarrassed." Karin was blushing while staring at him dreamily. Her elbows were resting on the table and her face was leaning on her palms.

Sasuke tried his best to ignore her.

Sakura took her bowtie and hesitated but eventually opened her mouth. "We're even.", she said.

Sasuke finally faced her and raise an eyebrow.

"Last time, I accidentally hit your head with the ball", Sakura reminded him. "Now we're even."

"Aa."

"Forgive me now okay?"

"For yesterday?", asked Sasuke.

Sakura nodded.

"That was not the reason why I was mad- Anyway, I just wanted to apologize and I already did that so." Sasuke stood up from his seat.

"Eh? Then me too! For these past few days, I'm sorry that I... annoyed you."

Sasuke raised his right hand to stroke his hair. "I already know why you were suddenly everywhere so, I'm sorry I called you annoying."

No one spoke after that and everyone looked anywhere but at each other.

...

Karin felt too awkward with the silence so she suddenly stood up "I just remembered, I didn't have anything for lunch and I'm really hungry so, I'm stepping out for a while."

As soon as she was out of the door, Sakura tried to speak again, "Uhm, since you already know everything, I mean you heard everything-"

"Haruno.", Sasuke interrupted her. "Give up on me."

"What?" Sakura blushed at that.

"I don't need help." He was suddenly serious again.

"Oh... But..."

"I'd say you're selfish, if I didn't really know the reason why you're doing this."

"..."

"Kakashi asked you not to bother with me. He didn't ask you that for my sake.", he explained. "If it werent you-" once again he didn't finish his sentence. "Anyway, you already know how things are with me and Naruto. Nothing good will come of you if you're around me."

"D-Do you hate Naruto?", she suddenly asked him.

"No.", he admitted.

"Then why don't the two of you just reconcile? He doesn't seem to hate you either. If anything, he seemed really worried about you."

"Believe it or not, we've already reconciled. We just can't go back to the way we were."

"Why? He's your best friend? ... H-He asked you to go home? Did you run away?"

['Why am I... asking these questions?']

He didn't answer her question anymore. "That's enough Haruno. I told you. Don't get involve with me. ... What? Don't look at me like that?"

['Eh?!...

Sakura then realized that she must have a worried look on her face.

Why? Am I seriously concerned about all this?']

"You're worried about the wrong person."

"Huh?!"

"Naruto's the one who's... lonely. He's the one y- everyone should be worried about."

['Naruto?!']

"What do you mean he's lonely?"

"He's surrounded by people who love and respect him but- Let's just say he acts as if he's got everything he ever wanted but that's not true at all. ... I... I've said too much."

['He's...']

"See." Sakura realized. "You're the one who worry about him the most. Ino was right... You really do look out for Naruto. Even now. In your own way. ... But then, ... Who's going to look out for you?!"

['What the heck am I saying?!']

"That's not for you to concern yourself with." He sounded less calm and looked away again.

"But... You're always on your own. Everyone's taken Naruto's side and you're acting like you're okay with it."

"I am okay with it.", he stated.

"You are?! I don't get it. How can you- How can anyone be okay with this?"

"It doesn't matter to me what anyone else think. I'm not doing anything wrong. I haven't done anything wrong. Not to Naruto. And definitely not to anyone else here in Konoha."

Sakura stood up. "Look. I obviously don't know anything about you. Or what happened between you and Naruto-"

"That's right. You don't know anything."

"Listen! The way I see it, Kakashi-sensei, Naruto and Karin too probably... They all care about you!"

['Now I've done it!']

Sasuke sighed in frustration.

"They're all worried about you-"

"They knew from the start!", he snapped. "They knew what I wanted the most. And back then, it was okay. No one tried to talk me out of it. Everything was fine since I was just... there. Until..." Sasuke gritted his teeth. "I only made a choice okay." he seemed determined to end the conversation there. "I made a choice and that's it. They didn't agree with me... so here we are."

"And maybe that's why?"

Sasuke threw his hand in the air. Of course, she would keep the conversation going. He rolled his eyes.

['I know! I know you don't want to talk about it... but... Damn it!']

"That's why they let you have your way 'NOW'? That's why they let you keep your distance. But don't you see it? They really don't want you to be alone but... it's like they're holding back. Like they're so afraid that if they reach out to you... that if they pull on you, they might end up pushing you further away! … And ... You regret it don't you?"

['Damn it!']

Sasuke blinked his eyes back towards Sakura.

"That choice... you made. Whatever it was... you regretted it. You're not happy at all."

['DAMN IT!']

"I- It's not- It's my life! My decision to make! My consequences to face! My burden to carry! ... It was my family! H-He was MY BROTHER! HE ASKED ME!" he ended up pouring out the frustration that seemed to have built up inside of him.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, turning away from her. He was angry at himself for losing it like that.

['So there really was more to him... Uchiha Sasuke, he's just like everyone else... He's just like me... He feels.']

"Go ahead. Get angry! Hate me! You can't hurt me because... I'm 'nobody' to you! ... That's why, Uchiha-san... I'll be the one to pull on you!"

He faced Sakura again. If he felt anything from what she had just said, he was now doing a good job at hiding it. "Oi. Weren't you listening? Didn't I tell you not to get involve with me?"

Sakura shook her head. "But you obviously need help! You're always alone. Kakashi-sensei said you're going through rough times in your life and the way I see it you're not handling it well at all."

"Just... stop." Sasuke raked his hand on his scalp. He was losing his temper again.

"No! You may be time bomb waiting to explode or a fragile glass that could break anytime, for all I care!"

Sasuke moved towards Sakura hastily, anger overwhelming him. With every step he took forward, Sakura took a step back but she kept talking.

"I'm going to be blunt and insensitive with you! I'll be the one to tell you that whatever problem you're facing right now, you're being stupid about it, trying to face it all alone! You need someone to pull you in the right direction and it's going to be me. I'll pull you. And I'll keep pulling you until I get you out of whatever hell you think you're in!"

Sasuke caught her by her shoulders. "Shut up!", he yelled at her squeezing a bit too hard.

Sakura flinched at his touch and he knew he had gone too far. Sasuke immediately let her go and backed away from her.

['That face he's making. It' just like earlier.']

"I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid to be hated by you. You'd be just another name in a very long list. So... I take back what I said earlier... Don't love me! We don't have to be friends. But let me help you!"

"Wow." Sasuke said in a painfully sarcastic way. "You are selfish after all.", he told her and moved towards the door.

Sakura fought the urge to execute her mannerism. Her left hand closed into a fist. "That's right! I'm selfish! I do what I want! And right now...

['I want to help him!

I want to help you! I don't want to give up on you! I can't just look away from this. I can't leave you alone anymore. Not after hearing all that! Not after...

...Seeing that face you made!']

How can I possibly abandon someone who made that sort of face the moment he realized he had hurt someone?!", she yelled.

Sasuke stopped just as he was outside the door. He turns to say; "You really are annoying." before walking away from her for good. He didn't sound angry anymore.

Sakura ran out after him but stopped just outside the door. He stared at Sasuke's retreating back.

"Uchiha Sasuke!", she called him.

Sasuke slightly turned his head on reflex but did not looked back at her and did not stop.

"We're not done yet! I'm not done yet! You hear me?! I..." Sakura adjusted her voice to sound less threatening. "S-See you tomorrow Uchiha-san.", she made it sound like it was just a casual goodbye.

Sasuke walked on.

Sakura released a heavy breath as soon as Sasuke disappeared into the corner. Then, she suddenly realized someone else was there. She looked behind her to find Karin leaning on the wall beside the door. She hadn't notice her since she kept her eyes on Sasuke.

"Er… Karin? W-Were you there the whole time?", Sakura wondered.

"That was way better than my confession.", she commented without meeting Sakura's gaze.

Sakura felt compelled to clear things up. "No! That was! I'm not- To Uchiha- that way! ... I like someone-"

Karin suddenly hugged her.

Sakura blushed slightly. "K-Karin?"

"Thank you, Sakura. For that. For saying what I couldn't. For saying what we couldn't."

Karin let her go and then smiled at her.

"Ah." Sakura smiled back.

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