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Three year old Helga sneered as she burst into the first house she found a boy with amnesia and she saw this as easy prey.
Helga(Sneering) Forget your town will ya well let me help you remember.
Helga giggled raising her arms turning the boys house into his own demise the Pataki house where she was ignored to no end.
Helga(Climbing the stairs) Time for him to meet the reason he wanted to forget his town me with a capitol H-E-L-G-A-P-A-T-A-K-I ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Helga opened the boys door and he moaned in terror having yet another nightmare.
Helga(Skipping up to the boys bed) Pish Posh he hasn't seen my nightmares yet.
Helga cackled as she became a mass of pink smoke and evaporated into the boys head.
Helga's POV: Looks like he forgot just about everything and when I say just about I mean me he's still remembering little old me.
Helga's cold, evil cackle echoed across the room the boys room being redecorrated by Helga.
Helga(Ripping wallpaper off the wall) And this should look like that, there should be cracks in the wall, windows broken, a giant hole in the roof, dusty floor, no bed frame just a matress on the floor.
The boy moaned again as Helga undressed throwing her jumper, socks, shoes, and undergarments in a heap in the corner of the room.
Helga(Sneering) Nowwwwwwww to remake his blankets, sheets, and bedspread.
Helga raised her arms and the things she mentioned became holy, ripped, dingy, dirty, and too small for a human.
Helga: Perfect now this is Helga G. Pataki age three's bedroom.
The boy shivered as wind blew through the window and Helga giggled standing next to the boys bed.
Boy(Rubbing his head) Whuhhhhhhhhhh where am I?
Helga(Beaming) Ohhhhhhhhhhh nowhere special just your bedroom.
Boy(Looking over at Helga naked) Who are you?
Helga(Cackling) How soon you forget I'm Helga Geraldine Pataki but Geraldine never escapes my lips or yours.
Boy(Looking down at his bed) What happened to my room.
Helga(Twirling around) Helga G. Pataki happened to your room.
Boy(Confused) And how do I know you?
Helga(Getting nose to nose with him) You bullied me in Pre School. I've come to return the favor.
Boy(Standing up) Where is this I mean this town has to have a name or a state that it's in.
Helga(Sneering) You're in Reeding California and your family just abandoned you here.
Boy(Acting macho) Good I have no use for them anyway or who they are or even who I am.
Helga(Giggling) You are John Anderson and you made my life A-LIVING-HELL but I digress.
John shook his head as if he was in disbelief as Helga sneered her shadow swallowing John up.
Helga(Chuckling) See you made fun of me as a kid for being poor. Now your as poor as I am and an orphan to boot.
John: So I don't even remember you let alone what I did to you but being an orphans cool I guess.
Helga(Sneering) Awwwwwwwwww you haven't met the head of the orphanage yet Jittery.
John(Walking off) Blah blah blech bleh come find me when you're done talking.
Helga cackled like a witch wiggling her fingers and twitching her nose the door to the room slamming shut and locking in front of John.
Helga: It's not me that you have to worry about it's the headmisstress Olga M. Pataki my sister and her box of shame. Boy is she bad in dreams and reality to orphans.
John(Tugging the door) So-what-I-don't-care-how-mean-she-is-I-just-want-you-to-open-this-damn-door.
Helga(Shaking her head) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo I couldn't do that it's after lights out and Mrs. Olga is not the out after lights out type.
John(Breaking down the door) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and HA I found a way out stupid jumper wearing punk.
Helga(Covering her eyes) Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh I can't watch.
John walked off snapping his eyes open thinking the nightmare of a life he couldn't remember was over not knowing how wrong he was.
Olga's Vengance
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John slowly shuffled around the house he lived in until he found the bathroom and he splashed water on his face the hot water tap not turning off.
John(Trying to turn the tap) WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS THING?
Olga's POV: Naughty naughty you're out past lights out and you need to be punished accordingly.
A friend of John's burst through the bathroom door as the tap turned into razor blades attempting to kill John once and for all.
Friend(Stabbing the tap) There how do you like me now?
John(Stumbling away) David run I think the sinks posessed.
David Jameson and John ran off as the bathroom door slammed shut cries of agony from Olga with David lighting a roach.
David(Taking a puff) Want some it'll calm your nerves.
John(Shaking his head) No thanks I need all the nerves I've got to deal with these two crazies.
David(Shrugging) Suit yourself I'm going to find a place to blaze up.
John: Ok have fun I'm going to get my ass in gear and get the hell out of here.
David walked off as John found the front door and ran out before Olga could take her vengance out on him.
John(Running off) Sorry David It's every man for themselves.
John ran for a bus depot not knowing how much Olga was Jonesing for him.
Ticket taker: One ticket round trip sweetie.
John took the ticket and went to wait for the bus as it materialized from nowhere and hit him as the driver Olga cackled putting the pedal to the metal.
Olga(Clapping her hands) Hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh another orphan to add to my collection and too bad he's an amnesiac.
John(Trying to pull off the bus) What-do-you-want-with-me?
Olga(Sneering) Ohhhhhhhhhh nothing I just want you to bring me souls for my tum tum and you'll also join them if you don't cooperate.
John: You'd never kill me.
Olga(Beaming) Not yet but eventually I won't need you anymore and then I'll slaughter you like I did with Helga she can only co exist in dreams and nightmares thanks to me.
John was pressed against the window screaming as Olga snickered slamming on the brakes sending John flying.
Olga: Now be a good little doggie and go fetch.
John was back in the house a move Olga made happen thanks to controlling his mind and he saw that Olga wasn't messing around.
Olga's POV: Nowwwwwwwwwwwww find me some new meat old meat.
John groaned rubbing his head as all of a sudden his memory was back and he knew how bad the Pataki sisters were.
John(Running upstairs) David we need to get the hell out of this town she's feeding on orphans like us breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Olga cackled deeply knowing John just sent her another soul and this was a weak soul the tastiest souls in her opinion.
Olga's POV: Hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh he's sleeping and that makes him in my domain now.
John broke a door down to find David high as a kite and watching a broken TV giggling at it.
John: Good you're still awake come on we need to get out of here now.
David(Pointing at the TV) Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa this Tv's trippy.
John(Tugging at David) Come-onnnnnnnnnnnnnn-ugh-why-are-you-so-hard-to-move?
David(Smiling) Trippyyyyyyyyyyyy colors.
John(Trying to lift David up) Come onnnnnnnnnnnn we got to go she's coming for us we're the last.
David lightly snored as Olga cackled triumphantly and Helga skipped up dragging John away from his friend.
Helga(Scratching her chin) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm something's missing but I don't know what.
John(Struggling) Let me go ghost girl.
Helga gave a booming laugh as she pulled John to her old bedroom the sneer never leaving her face.
Helga(Pinning John to the wall) Wellllllllll what do you say we play some games? I never had a friend to play games with besides Phoebe when she moved in but that wasn't until much later.
John(Squirming) Let-me-go-ghost-girl-you-don't-even-exist-so-vanish-without-a-trace.
Helga(Chuckling) I do so exist see I made you forget everything but me that way when I came back I'd have a true believer.
John(Backing up) Yea but your back now so you should leave me alone.
Helga(Chomping a hamburger) You'd think so but call me a sucker I love having you around.
John saw a window and jumped out as Helga cackled coldly knowing he'd never leave California if she wanted him there.
Helga(Gazing into a crystal ball) Time for me to have my fun just like Olga and David he, he, he, he, he, he, heeeeeeeeeeeee.
John's Last Stand
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John jumped up in a bed finding himself in a decrepit orphanage and he sighed relief thinking he was safe locked up not knowing how determined Helga was.
John(Looking around) This room's falling apart but at least I'm safe here.
Helga's POV: That's what you think Orphaned Bucko.
John chugged soda as Helga in another part of his consciousness lit a fire and blew the flame transferring it to his bed sheets and blanket igniting it.
Helga(Sneering) Deal with that Mr. I can wake up at any time I feel like.
John screeched and jumped up the room a bundle of flames with Helga cackling as John ran to a window to find her on a broom cackling like a witch.
Helga(Cackling) I'll get you my Bucko and your little orphan friends too.
White lights shot into Helga as they screamed in her stomach those being the souls of the kids and the caretakers of the orphanage John being the last.
Helga(Rubbing her stomach) MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM like Jell-O there's always room for more.
John(Looking around and coughing) There-has-to-be-a-way-out.
Helga giggled flying off on her broom as John thinking quick imagined himself on a plane and like magic he was on one flying away from California.
John(Sighing) Finally no pink obsessed bitch following me around and I can rest easy.
John closed his eyes as the planes wings caught on fire and the passengers screamed in fright and a cold cackle crackled over the loud speaker.
Helga(Over the loud speaker) This is your captain speaking saying YOU'LL HAVE TO TRY HARDER THAN THAT BUCKOOOOOOOOOOOO HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The window next to John's seat split open and Helga cackled seeing John try to fight being sucked from the plane.
Helga(Skipping up to John) You should have chosen the fire like the other poor scardie orphans and caretakers in the orphanage.
John(Struggling) Noooooooooooooooo I won't let you have me.
Helga(Sneering) You knowwwwwwwwwwwwwww Arnold was a pretty good obsession for me at a young age but he's Olga's obsession now seeing Helga age 13 became Olga age 13.
John(Holding on to the sides of the window) So-what-does-that-have-to-do-with-me?
Helga(Getting nose to nose with John) You're a boy I'm a girl do the fucking math.
John: You-know-a-three-year-old-girl-shouldn't-swear-I-mean-where-do-you-learn-your-language?
Helga(Beaming) Movies, TV, Music you know the same shit other kids learn bad words from.
John felt himself slipping as Helga giggled her eyes gazing into John's.
Helga(Placing a locket on her neck) Yeppppppppppppp you'll do nicely.
John: I'll-just-deny-your-advances-like-hell-and-see-where-that-gets-me.
Helga(Kissing John's lips) Nowhere fast because the more you deny me the more powerful my love for you becomes.
Before John could say another word Helga's white shoes became black combat boots and she cackled kicking John out of the window laughing triumphantly.
Helga(Looking out the window) Yepppppppppppp he'll make a real nice addition to my obsession menu just like the others.
John screamed as he fell from the sky and a tag saying pull for emergency was on his chest and he pulled it laughing joyously thinking he was finally safe.
Helga(Waving from the top of the parachute) Hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we have got to stop meeting like this Honey Bunny.
John(Defeated) Nooooooooooooooooooooo get down from there.
Helga(Landing on John's shoulders) OK I'll just stand here with my very strong and painful combat boots.
John moaned as Helga sneered positioning herself in front of John and applying pink starburst to her lips.
Helga: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM your favorite smell now kiss me Honey Bunny.
John resisted the smell which was hard for him because he really loved that smell and Helga grabbed him snuggling him close to her.
Helga(Sneering) Fine I'll be the lover and you can be the one to pretend you hate me just like mini Helga did with Arnold.
John thinking quick made the cords of the parachute disappear and he free fell not noticing the parachute was pink ruffly panties belonging to Helga.
Helga(Chuckling) An adrenaline junkie I think I'm going to marry that man someday.
Helga dove and free fell with John as she swirled her fingers and the town became the town from Hey Arnold and John was the new kid in town.
Helga(Grabbing John) Woooooooooooooohoooooooooooooo you know how to show a girl a good time Honey Bunny.
Helga and John landed onto the street as Helga clapped and made an audience cheering sound and John saw no way out now that he was stuck in Helga's neighborhood.
Helga(Cheering) And they stick the landing ladies and gentlemen and the judges rate that a perfect ten yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Helga and John.
John(Defeated) Fine I guess I have a new neighborhood to live in thanks to your obsession with me.
Helga(Sticking her tongue out) Let's French Honey Bunny.
Before John could object Helga stuck her tongue down his throat as he shrank and love grew in his eyes.
Helga(Beaming) That's our game thanks for playing Bucko.
Helga cackled not mentioning that now that John was dating her he had to serve her forever meaning foot rubs, bathing, pedicure, manicures, dating her, kissing her, and helping her try on clothes forever.
Helga(Ruffling John's hair) Come on Honey Bunny I have just the home for you.
Helga led John into her house and a scream was heard from her room as she made him watch her undress.
Helga(Cackling) I wonder how Olga and David are doing because as the saying goes everybody loves Olga.
John shivered as Helga threw clothes to him and he looked down at them.
Helga(Sighing) Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh put them on me Honey Bunny seeing we're dating and you have to do everything for me.
John dressed Helga as a scream that wasn't Olga's came from Olga's room.
Helga: Sounds like David' learned like all boys Olga's not to be fucked with.
DAVID'S FINAL TRIP
David giggled still staring at the blank TV a comic book fluttering to the floor starring him and Olga and as it looked Olga was kicking his ass.
David(Flipping through the pages) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I guess stoners aren't good heroes.
Olga(Giggling) He's got that right.
The TV flipped on and David laughed hysterically seeing John on the other end.
John(Pushing past Helga's arms) David it's too late for me save yourself this house isn't safe.
David(Smiling) Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa John how did you get into the trippy TV man?
John: I'm locked into another dream I can't get out but you can and you need to save yourself.
David(Looking around) Nooooooooooooo way man I'm a super hero here buddy.
John(Being grabbed) Noooooooooooooo let me go you stupid bitch. David that's a pipe dream you aren't a hero you're a stoner.
David(Picking the comic book up) Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh see I'm on the cover in the very first edition.
John: It's-A-mirage-you-need-to-get-out-now-before-it's-too-late-she's-not-one-to-be-fucked-with.
David(Flexing his muscles) Not when she meets my guns BAM BAM right and left.
John(Fading) Noooooooooo get out now. David you fucking stoner she's got you right where she wants you.
David(Waving) Pleasent dreams buddy maybe the bitch you talk about will become your girlfriend and mellow you out.
The TV turned to static and David jumped up thinking he was awake rubbed his eyes seeing the comic book opened to this point in the dream.
David: Ccccccccoooooolllllllll a magic comic book John has no idea what he's talking about.
The TV turned to a PTA for drugs as it showed John now in a kitchen breaking eggs into a pan.
John(Frying eggs) This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs questions?
Olga(Slamming a pan into John's face) Yea what are you on? It looks like a frying pan and some eggs to me.
David laughed lighting a roach as Olga cackled making the colors of the comic book swirl.
Olga(Cackling) Hey David let's trip out.
David screamed as he was transported to the comic book and Olga laughed coldly quickly grabbing him.
Olga: John was always the smart one you should have listened to him.
David materialized guns into the dream shooting Olga who screamed in mock defeat and fell to the floor as David lit a roach and smoked it loving the new dream him.
David(Kicking Olga) Stupid bitch John has no idea how to ease a bitch's mind.
David turned as Olga stood up a big O across her chest sneering as she grabbed David and made him turn to face her.
Olga(Laughing deeply) Faster than an ODing Teen more powerful than any drug it's Superrrrrrrrrrr Ollllllllllggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaa.
David squirmed as the muscles on Olga's arms bulged her veins feeding her muscles as she giggled deeply down at David.
Olga(Swiping the roach) Naughty, naughty teen don't you know drugs'll kill ya?
David tried shooting Olga again and again as she chuckled lighting 120 roaches and stuffing them into David's mouth.
Olga(Sneering) You need a mother figure in your life someone who would never let you smoke drugs and that be me.
The roaches had string attached to them as TNT was in David's mouth and Olga being stronger than him held it in and David thinking quick woke up just before he blew up.
David(Panting) Damn- John's- right- I- need- to- get- out- before- I- die- next- but- he's- in- another- dream- maybe- I- can- save- him- too.
David dashed upstairs to find a room door decorated in glittery blue glue spelling out Helga as he broke the door down to find John under Helga's spell.
Helga(Looking at a watch on her wrist) It's about time I was begining to think you'd never get here or escape Olga.
David(Kicking Helga) Yea well she was a cinch and so are you weakling.
Helga fell against a corner of the room and David pummeled her as John under Helga's control attacked David giving Helga extremely imense strength and she bear hugged David a humming going by her room.
Helga(Snickering) Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh Olga I've got someone that would love to talk to you.
Olga skipped into Helga's room grabbed David's hands and led him out of the room a beam of evil stretching across her face.
Olga(Pinning David to the wall) I bet you thought seeing me in dreams was scary huh? Well wrong me in reality is a gajillion times scarier and gajillion isn't even a word.
David(Squirming) Let-go-of-me-you-crazy-obessed-mama-figure-of-a-woman.
Olga(Sneering) You haven't seen mama figure of a woman yet Princess.
David gulped as a backpack was slung over Olga's back and she removed it beaming down at her prey like a spider in a web.
Olga: See it's mighty lonely all by my lonesome and Helga's no help I think she resents me. Anywhooooooooooo I was thinking if I had a daughter that acted like me, looked like me, and got all of my traits I could just be a happy camper and a happy Olga is a better Olga.
David(Scared) Wait-so-all-those-missing-person-reports-on-TV-and-the-posters-all-over-were-from-you-trying-kids-on-like-clothes-or-shoes?
Olga(Chuckling) Yeppppppppp and they were mighty tasty their souls and dreampowers I mean. The last one had the ability to pull people out of dreams, into dreams, and never die in dreams so with him I hit the trifecta.
David moaned seeing he just might not be a fit for Olga either and she giggled seeing this.
Olga(Kissing David's cheeks) No worries you're already number one in the running thanks to you already being my size.
David(Looking down at himself) Your-size?
Olga(Nodding) None of the other scaredies were and of course we all know where they are.
Olga lifted her supersuit she pulled from the last dream up and screaming face after screaming face met David.
Olga(Patting her stomach) I think I'm finally full of souls and dreampowers Honey Bunny. Now what do you say we make you the spitting image of me age three?
David was about to nod but a boy with corn yellow hair, a tiny blue hat, three shirts one being plaid, and a smile fell into the dream as Olga clapped her hands happily with a clothes measuring tape.
David(Scared) Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wait Arnold's smaller than me.
Olga(Measuring Arnold) Yep and he's an orphan, loves the plaid material of a kilt that I always wear, and is just the right size so sorry you snooze you lose.
David whimpered as Helga walked up to him and she saw more of the obsessive side to him than John had and she giggled pulling David off leaving a now dumbfounded John with Olga.
Olga(Ruffling John's hair) We'll deal with you later Short Stuff Arnold let's talk about your role in the Pataki Family Tree Honey Bunny.
Arnold shrugged as Helga pulled him to her bedroom and John saw he was for once not being guarded and made a run for it until he saw the KND guarding the exit and a little girl with a not so little Alter Ego leading the charge.
Girl(Stomping up to John) Going somewhere?
John: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no I was just uhhhhhhhhhhhhh taking a tour of the house.
Girl(Walking off) Leave the yard out because you've eluded us one too many times.
John walked off searching for a window until he heard two girly giggles and knew Arnold embraced his inner Pataki.
Girl(Grabbing John) Nowwwwwwwwwwww let's see what judgement SHE has in store for little old you.
Fanny Fullbright snickered handing a scroll to Laura Limpin as she spasmed and became a giant John staring up at the giant in fear and awe.
Laura: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I-HATE-BECOMING-THE-BIG-BADOLESCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The giant Laura beamed down at John as she grew a bigger spine ripping through Laura's clothes, a ton of pimples, bulging muscles, and a very angry stout she reserved for John.
The Big Badolescent(Stretching) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ME FEEL SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER WITH NO LAURA HOLDING ME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fanny(Staring up at The Big Badolescent) On with the punishment giant of Fanny Fullbright teen years.
The Big Badolescent(Looking at the scroll) HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM SAYS HERE YOU GET TWO TORTURES FOR ESCAPING MORE THAN ONCE AND I HAVE TO SAY YOU DESERVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fanny(Rubbing her hands together evilly) He ssssssssuuuuuurrrrrreeeeee does.
The Big Badolescent(Grabbing John and Fanny) SAYS BIG BULLY BOY GETS TO BECOME BIG BULLY FULLBRIGHT'S NAMED FANNY LITTELEST SISSY AND SHE'S ALSO YOUR SIBLING BULLY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John(Gulping) Uhhhhhhhhhhhh-hold-up-that-means?
Fanny(Cackling) YOUR MINE ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL MINE NOW LITTELEST WIMPIEST SIS HAH. HAH, HAH, HAH, HAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John grew fear in his eyes as The Big Badolescent led Fanny and John to an empty room.
The Big Badolescent: DO WHAT YOU WILL BIG BULLY FULLBRIGHT NAMED FANNY FULLBRIGHT HE'S YOURS FOR THE MOLDING INTO A LITTLE SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fanny(Sneering) Welcome the the VND little sis and I'll let Laura/The Big Badolescent founders of the VND tell you what it is.
John squirmed as he was thrown into a corner of the room and Fanny was placed into the moddle of the room.
Fanny(Standing over John) Soooooooooooo little sis and bully punching bag let's get better acquainted.
Laura now herself again moved boxes into the empty room all of them containing the words Fanny Fullbright age 13.
Fanny(Giggling) See I'm technically a teen now and no longer an agent in KND which is Kids Next Door so I recruited Laura age 8, Rachel Mckenzie age 12, Sonya Roberts Age 10 she's our Thai Kwan do expert, and of course me the meanest bully ever and made the VND.
John tried to stand up but Fanny in combat boots stepped on him making him moan in pain and she sneered standing on his chest.
Fanny: You're going nowhere little one. I'm finally going to show you what being a bully gets you. The answer is a bigger, badder, tougher bully that could just make being your big sister extremely painful.
John gulped as Fanny chuckled pulling a backpack from mid air and in it was Fanny Fullbright age 3's wardrobe.
Fanny(Throwing clothes everywhere) Uhhhhhhhhhhhh huhhhhhhhhhhhh these will do for now.
John: Why are your boxes in here isn't this my room?
Fanny(Nodding) Nowwwwwwwwww it's our room.
John screeched as Fanny grinned gently using her foot pushing John into a corner.
Fanny(Flexing her muscles) Just you wait little sis rooming with me is the worst THE ABSOLUTE WORST HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John burst out of the door to the bedroom Fanny sneering having more tricks up her sleeve for him.
Fanny(Mixing ingredients) Youngin potion will help but till then I have a friend for him to meet and it's not Laura.
Fanny cackled evilly as crows cawed a death song.
well thats it for now.